I don't really want to go but...

[TwistedRoots]

I'm in the military and i've been dating this guy since April of this year. When we first met I wasn't really looking for a relationship, actually I wasn't even trying to deal with anyone at all. In June, I was told that in October I would be going overseas for a few months or so. That kind of put a damper on us because he seem to keep himself kind of distant. Still, we kept talking and I decided I wanted to be committed. He on the other hand said he just still wasn't quite ready for that yet. He's 9 years older than I and he says that he's to old for these couple of month "relationships" and would like something deeper. I was fine with that because he still wanted to see were we could go with this and I absolutely adore his little girl.

Anyhow, now I'm gone and will be for a few more months. We weren't doing all that great before I left and I don't know if it was because we already knew I would be leaving or what. I'm not sure if it will work when I get back and I think it would be easier just to let it go right now. He still doesnt' seem to know quite how he feels about me and its been 8 months already. I feel like a fool for waiting this long for him but somehow I've fallen for him and now I'm just stuck in the gray. When I tried to just let it go he says that I'm being irrational and I can't possibly make a decision like that while I'm away and that we should just wait until I come home. I don't want to do that to myself. I really don't want to be without him, but I don't know if I can really be with him. He talks about long term committment and even jokes with his friends like "thats probably going to be my wife" I haven't even gotten the girlfriend title yet!!

Am I rushing things? Should I just give him time? Or should I just bounce? I mean I respect him still being upfront with me for the most part, but lets be real here does he expect me to wait forever. I honestly thinks he believes that I wouldn't leave.

 

[LadyChe]

Gameplayer on deck!
Actions speak louder than words... and the words he is feeding you are a crock of bullspit.

 

[BobbieDoll]

I don't really have any advice to offer but just want to let you know that I know exactly what you are going through. I hope everything works out for the two of you.

 

[Keen]

It doesn't sound like you have anything concrete against him other than your gut feeling. Unless you have someone esle where you are now you'd like to pursue, I'd say give him until you get back. You should at least get the girlfriend title when you get back, if that is what you are looking for. If he won't give you that then you can cut him loose because it sound like you guys have different expectation.

 

[Nefertiti0906]

Gameplayer on deck!
Actions speak louder than words... and the words he is feeding you are a crock of bullspit.

ITA. I think he's stringing you along.

 

[tenjoy]

If you want to wait it out until you get home, go ahead as long as that's YOUR decision and he's not making you feel like should wait.

He could be just as sad that you are away. I say keep the pace and see how it goes.