I dont get this stuff

[Joanna721]

erplexedok ladies I am a pretty attractive young lady ( I think so at least) and I am in school and I work and I have goals that I am going to meet and I am not stupid and I am very creative.....

anywho .....

why do I keep attracting ( I guess thats the right word) all of these ex cons I mean 3 months outt the big house types ....Im not saying that men "with a past" cant be anything BUT why is it that the men I meet are not in sync with me and what I am doing....
they are all either hood, old, ignorant as heck or after one thing...

I understand that one has to look at themself and try to figure out what they are doing to attract the type of people that they are attracting...but I dont think there is anything wrong with the vibes I give....any help or suggestions....erplexed

 

[Colliecole]

I don't know what makes women think ex-cons, old men, broke men etc...don't want a pretty woman too! I used to think "All these loosers talking to me, there must be something wrong with me" but that's not true. It just means there's something RIGHT with you, and they want a peice too. Where do you hang out? Do you go to poetry cafes and such to meet the good guys? Sometimes you gotta initiate stuff with the good/attractive guys (They're most likely afraid of rejection, unlike the scruffy ones who are used to it, which makes the good ones less likely to approach a beautiful woman)...

 

[Syrah]

I don't know what makes women think ex-cons, old men, broke men etc...don't want a pretty woman too! I used to think "All these loosers talking to me, there must be something wrong with me" but that's not true. It just means there's something RIGHT with you, and they want a peice too. Where do you hang out? Do you go to poetry cafes and such to meet the good guys? Sometimes you gotta initiate stuff with the good/attractive guys (They're most likely afraid of rejection, unlike the scruffy ones who are used to it, which makes the good ones less likely to approach a beautiful woman)...

My dad always says its the men who have nothing to offer who KNOW they have nothing to lose. And old men and thugs?? It's their egos. I swear, 40-somethin black men have some of the biggest egos I have ever encountered. And they don't take no for an answer.

The ex-cons, old men, broke men and thugs want some love too.

You just happen to be on the receiving end of their attention.

 

[envybeauty]

erplexedok ladies I am a pretty attractive young lady ( I think so at least) and I am in school and I work and I have goals that I am going to meet and I am not stupid and I am very creative.....

anywho .....

why do I keep attracting ( I guess thats the right word) all of these ex cons I mean 3 months outt the big house types ....Im not saying that men "with a past" cant be anything BUT why is it that the men I meet are not in sync with me and what I am doing....
they are all either hood, old, ignorant as heck or after one thing...

I understand that one has to look at themself and try to figure out what they are doing to attract the type of people that they are attracting...but I dont think there is anything wrong with the vibes I give....any help or suggestions....erplexed

it's on you. who do you hang with? who do you stop to talk to? even when i lived on the other side of the tracks, brothas would holla but i kept walking. i never gave them the time of day to find out if/and/or when they got out of jail, had baby mama drama, etc.

if you are in school and working, why are you not meeting people in school or on the job? how are you not meeting brothas doing something with themselves and in sync with you on education/employment but yet you are getting to know those other lowlifes?

sometimes we have to ask ourselves these kinds of questions. my brother always said that i would only be approached by a certain type of guy and he was right. deadbeats don't really approach me even if they are attracted to me.

 

[Joanna721]

girl I mean I know they want pretty women too BUT its like GOSH...back up....when Im in Charlotte I do go to open mic nights and I hang on campus ...one dude I met ages ago even used his brothers poetry too pose.....I thought he was the bomb until an associate saw me talkin to him and then out of concern spilled the beans so I had to cut him....with another guy I knew he was out of jail and didnt mind cause he was honest and seemed alright UNTIL we were going out and he bought a huge amount of weed.....(like the B&B 6 oz jar of Mayo and Honey strengthening conditoner that Im lookin at right now).....Im like GOD whats really good... I mean I had/have a guy that looks good on paper but he isnt the best in the emmotional department (but thats a WHOLE nother thread).....can I get some bug a boo repelent dang

 

[envybeauty]

girl I mean I know they want pretty women too BUT its like GOSH...back up....when Im in Charlotte I do go to open mic nights and I hang on campus ...one dude I met ages ago even used his brothers poetry too pose.....I thought he was the bomb until an associate saw me talkin to him and then out of concern spilled the beans so I had to cut him....with another guy I knew he was out of jail and didnt mind cause he was honest and seemed alright UNTIL we were going out and he bought a huge amount of weed.....(like the B&B 6 oz jar of Mayo and Honey strengthening conditoner that Im lookin at right now).....Im like GOD whats really good... I mean I had/have a guy that looks good on paper but he isnt the best in the emmotional department (but thats a WHOLE nother thread).....can I get some bug a boo repelent dang

You already think it is alright to date guys who had been in jail. Drama comes with the territory. If you cut them off prior to getting into any kind of relationship with them, then you won't have such problems.

 

[Joanna721]

it's on you. who do you hang with? who do you stop to talk to? even when i lived on the other side of the tracks, brothas would holla but i kept walking. i never gave them the time of day to find out if/and/or when they got out of jail, had baby mama drama, etc.

if you are in school and working, why are you not meeting people in school or on the job? how are you not meeting brothas doing something with themselves and in sync with you on education/employment but yet you are getting to know those other lowlifes?

sometimes we have to ask ourselves these kinds of questions. my brother always said that i would only be approached by a certain type of guy and he was right. deadbeats don't really approach me even if they are attracted to me.

i meet guys at school but they arent attracted to me...they are after the skinny ones and thats kool wit me they seem to be better brothers than anything BUT I do work at the mall which is part of my problem I think....

Im alot better at peepin game now than I was before

 

[Joanna721]

You already think it is alright to date guys who had been in jail. Drama comes with the territory. If you cut them off prior to getting into any kind of relationship with them, then you won't have such problems.

I mean I know its not kool for him to just be out of jail....I dont want a jailbird as a husband or even a SO but I did let him know that he and I just held a convo while I was waiting for my ride and seemes to hit it off ( I believe everyone deserves a lil bit of a chance )and I have seen him a couple of times since then and he is a kool guy but he knows that he isnt even an option

 

[envybeauty]

I mean I know its not kool for him to just be out of jail....I dont want a jailbird as a husband or even a SO but I did let him know that he and I just held a convo while I was waiting for my ride and seemes to hit it off ( I believe everyone deserves a lil bit of a chance )and I have seen him a couple of times since then and he is a kool guy but he knows that he isnt even an option

let your actions speak for themselves. you can't hang out with a guy like that and "hit it off" adn see him several times since then but then tell him that there will be nothing between the two of you. mixed signals. let your actions say that you aren't interested to back up your words.

also say what you mean and mean what you say. if everyone deserves a chance, then fine, pick and choose accordingly. but then you say you don't want to date a jailbird ever.........

again. mixed. signals. to. me. IMO.

 

[Bunny77]

let your actions speak for themselves. you can't hang out with a guy like that and "hit it off" adn see him several times since then but then tell him that there will be nothing between the two of you. mixed signals. let your actions say that you aren't interested to back up your words.

also say what you mean and mean what you say. if everyone deserves a chance, then fine, pick and choose accordingly. but then you say you don't want to date a jailbird ever.........

again. mixed. signals. to. me. IMO.

Agree completely, especially with the bolded.

And I'll take it a step further. No, not everyone deserves a chance. I am a valuable person and my time is valuable, so you better be coming correct if you want me to GIVE YOU A CHANCE.

If a man has been in jail, 99.9% of the time he doesn't get a chance with me. Do not pass go, do not collect $200, etc. etc.

 

[Joanna721]

let your actions speak for themselves. you can't hang out with a guy like that and "hit it off" adn see him several times since then but then tell him that there will be nothing between the two of you. mixed signals. let your actions say that you aren't interested to back up your words.

also say what you mean and mean what you say. if everyone deserves a chance, then fine, pick and choose accordingly. but then you say you don't want to date a jailbird ever.........

again. mixed. signals. to. me. IMO.

not seen him like went out wit him i mean ran into him...but nevertheless i get ur opinion and i value it....im adding that to my list of things to work on....i really do apppreciate the honesty