I do NOT want another TRIM! (rant)

[Crackers Phinn]

Here's my strategy. I get a trim every 2-3 relaxers. Me and my stylist agree that if she does a mini trim that catches the majority of the splits then so-what if I have a few scraggles that may or may not travel up the shaft. You're never going to catch them all unless you shave your head.

 

[hillytmj]

Here's my strategy. I get a trim every 2-3 relaxers. Me and my stylist agree that if she does a mini trim that catches the majority of the splits then so-what if I have a few scraggles that may or may not travel up the shaft. You're never going to catch them all unless you shave your head.

I love your photos! Every stylist in the world needs to see these photos to get the message. Your hair looks great by the way.

 

[sheba1]

I'm reading this great article about curly hair and this is what it has to say about split ends:

* SPLIT ENDS: Every mane-curly, straight, short, long-is susceptible to split ends. Strands become dry and "empty" from a variety of assaults, including the environment, frequent heat styling, and harsh cleansers. In this condition, the cuticle remains open and feathery. These tiny raised layers are actually split ends, also called flyaways. They are weightless and lift away from the cuticle, creating that halo of frizz. Contrary to popular belief, split ends are found all over the hair and cannot be fixed with cutting. The best treatment for split ends is to feed your hair, just like your skin. A nourished hair shaft will have enough internal weight to keep the cuticle closed so that each curl is smooth. Clearly, trimming split ends is not an option-you might as well shave your head. Since split ends can appear anywhere, frequent deep conditioning is the only way to prevent them. Note: You'll see the most flyaways in the winter, when the hair is prone to extreme dryness. For a quick fix, spray your tresses with a leave-in conditioner to quench their thirst.

Click here to read the article in it's entirety.

 

[SmartyPants]

See, now you've had two people recommend the Supercuts, TGF Haircutters, Costcutters route. The earlier poster is right: those people are afraid to jack you up and will do exactly what you tell them too.

In terms of feeling like you're cheating on your stylist, he will get over it. Especially if you start doing your own haircare between relaxers. He won't be able to refrain from saying positive comments about your growth and progress. If he still badmouths the situation month after month and you still feel uncomfortable, you may need to move on to someone else.

The bolded especially.... I see my stylist every 9-11 weeks for a relaxer. My hair is seriously growing out (I did a BC in February 2007 now my hair is SL when it's soaking wet). This woman brags about my hair as if she had something to do with it growing! She's lucky I've proven to be completely incompetent in doing my own relaxers, otherwise I'd be a complete DIY'er!

 

[titan]

What is causing your split ends?

 

[LivingDol1]

Here's my strategy. I get a trim every 2-3 relaxers. Me and my stylist agree that if she does a mini trim that catches the majority of the splits then so-what if I have a few scraggles that may or may not travel up the shaft. You're never going to catch them all unless you shave your head.

so true. your hair does look great!

 

[ShiShiPooPoo]

I am soooo anti-stylist right now so I might be the wrong person to even reply. Honestly, it sounds like he is trying to cut your hair. Two inches is not a trim...that's a cut! Come on now, what is so wrong with taking it slow? What's the rush in it? He wants to keep cutting and cutting...sounds like S.H.S syndrome.

I need a trim right now and like someone else said, I will probably go to the Haircuttery and have one of these clear women do it. I am almost APL and I'll be DAMN if I let someone steal my progress!

Don't let him do it anymore!

 

[ShiShiPooPoo]

I'm reading this great article about curly hair and this is what it has to say about split ends:



Click here to read the article in it's entirety.

Makes sense!

And this is why those who deep condition/PS/dunk their ends like there is no tomorrow have wonderful ends...

So an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Or a two or three inch "cure" for that matter.

 

[LivingDol1]

What is causing your split ends?

i wore braids for 7 years and did not moisturize consistently i guess. i used oil, never a moisturizer. i'd get a trim every 6 to 9 months at the beginning in between getting new braids. i didn't really care since nobody was seeing my hair. i can't honestly say when was the last time i had a trim prior to taking out the braids b/c it was so long ago. so i imagine that is the cause for the damage.

like it's been said, splits cannot be cured by cutting off the dead hair alone otherwise i'd have to shave my head and start over. 2 inches is enough! as long as my ends look good. and they do. now with all of my megatekking and vitamin pill popping, i should have my BSL hair back by Sept 09... I hope...

 

[LivingDol1]

I'm reading this great article about curly hair and this is what it has to say about split ends:



Click here to read the article in it's entirety.

great article! thanks for posting this!

 

[pri]

OK.....this is my opinion, well for starters don't get a trim, do a little dusting(IF U NEED IT), but honesty, I went years without trimming my hair, and I don't understand how can your ends split all the way to the hair shaft, that would mean(only my opinion) that you would have to shave your WHOLE head and start over again....that just don't seem right to me, I'm not against trimming, but I feel you shouldn't have to trim as much as they claim unless you want to stay at that length......so don't trim IMO.....I know it's hard and my stylist ask me all the time if I want to trim, and sometimes I say no very politely and sometimes I say yes, but ONLY a little, she knows I'm trying to grow my hair out........so I know those stylists try to do what's best, BUT U need to do what's best for u, it's your hair and your are paying him......

You couldn't have said it better! Exactly my point when it comes to trimming. For years I've always wondered why my hair wasn't going past a certain length..my husband would say stop trimming your hair it will never grow like that and I never listened..I would always say it needed it listening to every stylist. I'm finally starting to see length progress b/c I haven't trimmed since August and don't plan on trimming until I reach my short term goal length and that will only be very light dusting only. Every salon I go to they want to trim your hair...even if you tell them that you just got one a few weeks ago they'll say oh well they didn't do a good job...that's a lie! So, SlantedEyez I'll glad you mentioned this...this just puts me more at ease that I'm not the only one.

 

[lonelysky]

So he can slip that extra $10.00 into your bill...

That's $50, not $10... Did I read that right? $50 for a TRIM? I can get my hair trimmed and relaxed for that much...

 

[LongiLox]

Hi there, if your gut instinct is saying no, especially if you already agreed to one trim, ABSOLUTELY DON'T DO IT! If you really like this guy, you're gonna have to train him not to ask you anymore. My stylist only sees me for relaxers now, and she is very scissor happy. After telling her, "no thank you" for more than a year now when she asks if I want a trim, she finally gets the point. Now she even tells me, you're doing a really good job taking care of your hair, and it's getting so long. I want to be ugly and say, "yeah, that's cause I don't let you near me with those scissors!" But my point is, don't let them decide what's best for your hair. You know your hair, and you know how it should look, feel, maintain curl, etc. Don't let his "pressuring" make you doubt yourself and end up unhappy. I've done that too many times in the salon.

I'm a DIYer for weekly maintenance, but I still go to the salon for relaxers and TGF Haircutters for trims. A friend recommended those inexpensive haircutting places because they specialize in precision cuts and cut hair all day long. It's not like many of our stylists who rarely encounter long hair or have had enough practice with trimming and maintaining length. I had my first trim in four months this week, and this was my conversation with the stylist:

*Are you comfortable working with longer, African American hair? Yes
*Okay, I will pay you a big tip if you do exactly what I'm asking you to do:
-I want a trim, not a haircut. I know my ends are not bad because I regularly take care of them, but they are starting to get tangled a bit.
-A trim to me is minor. I've evaluated my own ends and probably don't need more than a 1/4 inch cut in some areas (dusting).
-I don't want to get out of this chair and look like I've had a haircut. My boyfriend should not look at me when I get home and ask, "why did you let them cut your hair!"
-Finally, before you trim anything, show me in the mirror how much you plan to cut.

The lady passed all these tests and did a great job. My ends are cleaner, and I don't feel like I lost anything. (Remember, the whole point of protecting ends is so you don't have to get a major trim). My SO didn't even notice the trim until I mentioned it to him. She also got her $20 tip.

How much was the trim?

 

[hillytmj]

How much was the trim?

It was $16.95. Also, if you register on the TGF website you can get a $2 off coupon and they have discount days on certain days of the week. I didn't mind tipping more than the cut because she did exactly what I asked for. IMO, it was totally worth it rather than getting someone who went against my wishes.

 

[LivingDol1]

That's $50, not $10... Did I read that right? $50 for a TRIM? I can get my hair trimmed and relaxed for that much...

ugh, for crying out loud, i live in manhattan. that's why it's 50 bucks. 45 bucks at other places. i don't trek to queens or brooklyn or whatever for the cheapest bargain. the cost is not the issue. the issue is the man cutting 2 inches off my hair! do you know how long it took me to find a stylist i can tolerate?!

 

[sheba1]

ugh, for crying out loud, i live in manhattan. that's why it's 50 bucks. 45 bucks at other places. i don't trek to queens or brooklyn or whatever for the cheapest bargain. the cost is not the issue. the issue is the man cutting 2 inches off my hair! do you know how long it took me to find a stylist i can tolerate?!

Even though he's convenient, can you really tolerate him consistently cutting your progress? He sounds like the kind of stylist that makes your hair look lovely and healthy and EVEN. Those types can be dangerous because often times the hair appears thinner at the longest layers as your hair fills in, according to Chicoro. Check out her article and her waist length, drool-worthy mane here.

Just like finding the right man, you may have to keep looking.

 

[1Aleeesha]

Grow a little dust a little grow a little dust a little...

I do not like stylists... You know your hair best.

 

[LivingDol1]

Even though he's convenient, can you really tolerate him consistently cutting your progress? He sounds like the kind of stylist that makes your hair look lovely and healthy and EVEN. Those types can be dangerous because often times the hair appears thinner at the longest layers as your hair fills in, according to Chicoro. Check out her article and her waist length, drool-worthy mane here.

Just like finding the right man, you may have to keep looking.

well i'm obviously not going to let him trim my hair anymore but that doesn't mean i can't go to the salon. one trim is enough and i'm happy with fuller looking, EVEN ends. i just don't think it's appropriate for him to suggest another trim 2 weeks later. that's stupid.

everything else they do is totally fine. it's not like he's going to come at me with the scissors against my own will. sheesh.

 

[sheba1]

well i'm obviously not going to let him trim my hair anymore but that doesn't mean i can't go to the salon. one trim is enough and i'm happy with fuller looking, EVEN ends. i just don't think it's appropriate for him to suggest another trim 2 weeks later. that's stupid.

everything else they do is totally fine. it's not like he's going to come at me with the scissors against my own will. sheesh.

It is certainly your choice to do what you want with your hair. That's what this whole thread has been about. No one's trying to force you to go to a different salon or even stop going to this stylist. Just trying to give you a heads up that since he is a "perfectionist", as he calls it, he will probably continue to pressure you as he thinks he knows best for your hair.

I was trying to offer condolence and insight, as you posted your situation here. But I feel you bit my head off a bit? I dunno... wish you good luck, though.

 

[LivingDol1]

It is certainly your choice to do what you want with your hair. That's what this whole thread has been about. No one's trying to force you to go to a different salon or even stop going to this stylist. Just trying to give you a heads up that since he is a "perfectionist", as he calls it, he will probably continue to pressure you as he thinks he knows best for your hair.

I was trying to offer condolence and insight, as you posted your situation here. But I feel you bit my head off a bit? I dunno... wish you good luck, though.

thank you for your concern and insight. i do appreciate it and i was not aiming to bite off your head. i apologize if it came off like that as that was so not my intention!

obviously we are all very passionate about our hair in here and there are some that are extremely anti-stylist or don't want to spend a certain amount on their hair... and when i see things like, "be a DIY" or "I only pay $50 for a relaxer" "maybe you should find another stylist." etc etc........ c'mon.

not everyone's hair situations can apply to everyone else's. i am someone who can't do everything and i prefer to go to a salon to get my relaxer done and the occasional trim or style before an event. i always do my own roller sets, DCs, etc etc at home in between relaxers b/c i know i can do a good job in those areas for my hair.

all i wanted to know is that i'm not crazy for not wanting to get my hair trimmed 2 weeks after a big trim. i wanted to know that my hair won't just keep splitting and splitting and become thinner and thinner if i didn't cut off more hair. he really had me freaked out about my hair when i left the salon!

i appreciate all of the tips you and other posters have provided. really, i do. the article posted and the trimming video, etc etc have all been very helpful.

 

[sheba1]

Oh ok, well I hope those fears have been laid to rest. You're definitely not crazy for not wanting another trim after an already big trim. I also think you're safe from splitting all the way up the shaft, at this time, because you just had a trim and you're doing roller sets, dc's and refraining from heat. You should be able to dust from here out unless you have some sort of set back that causes damage. Happy Growing!