I can't understand my SO's mother

[PopLife]

literally...

My boyfriend is from Belize but has been in the states since he was a child, so his Belizean accent is pretty much nonexistent....but his mother still has a very strong accent.

I can make out what she's saying when we're in person but lately as we have grown closer, she will call me on the phone to chit chat and I am completely lost in the conversation half the time. I just basically say uh-huh and laugh a lot. Last night I held a 30 minute conversation with her and I couldn't tell you what half of the convo was about.

Has anyone ever dealt with a language/accent barrier with their SO's family..how did you deal with it without coming across as a ding bat? Did it improve over time?

 

[melophone13]

I just basically say uh-huh and laugh a lot. Last night I held a 30 minute conversation with her and I couldn't tell you what half of the convo was about.

That's probably why she likes you! People really just want to be listened to. I just hope you don't wind up agreeing to something outlandish by accident!

Sorry for having no actual advice for you, lol

 

[PopLife]

That's probably why she likes you! People really just want to be listened to. I just hope you don't wind up agreeing to something outlandish by accident!

Sorry for having no actual advice for you, lol

You have a point...but I feel so silly not being able to understand her (since we are both speaking english) or really contribute to the conversation. I think she invited me over for dinner on Wednesday but I'm going to confirm with my SO.

 

[Windsy]

Nope but my ex had to deal with it from my mom...smdh.....he used to look at me for help and I'd just smh and laugh.

 

[PopLife]

Nope but my ex had to deal with it from my mom...smdh.....he used to look at me for help and I'd just smh and laugh.

Lmao, poor guy...my SO has done that to me before too!

 

[greight]

You have a point...but I feel so silly not being able to understand her (since we are both speaking english) or really contribute to the conversation. I think she invited me over for dinner on Wednesday but I'm going to confirm with my SO.

One possible technique is trying to repeat what she says (the important stuff, not everything). She can try to correct you if you are wrong. It might make you look hella stupid if she is the type to get frustrated.

You'll get used to her accent, though... Does she speak quickly?

 

[PopLife]

One possible technique is trying to repeat what she says (the important stuff, not everything). She can try to correct you if you are wrong. It might make you look hella stupid if she is the type to get frustrated.

You'll get used to her accent, though... Does she speak quickly?

Yes, she talks pretty fast too which doesn't help...

Sent from my Droid using Droid

 

[KPH]

literally...

My boyfriend is from Belize but has been in the states since he was a child, so his Belizean accent is pretty much nonexistent....but his mother still has a very strong accent.

I can make out what she's saying when we're in person but lately as we have grown closer, she will call me on the phone to chit chat and I am completely lost in the conversation half the time. I just basically say uh-huh and laugh a lot. Last night I held a 30 minute conversation with her and I couldn't tell you what half of the convo was about.

Has anyone ever dealt with a language/accent barrier with their SO's family..how did you deal with it without coming across as a ding bat? Did it improve over time?

This is my story. My ex was from Belize and was raised in the states with no accent but his mother's was ULTRA STRONG and the only thing I would understand was "nevermind kph". I didn't understand a word and he'd look at me knowing good and well I needed a translator and just laugh. He'd even say "KPH my mother is calling you" I didn't even understand my name coming out of her mouth and mind you my first name has only 4 funky letters No, it never improved but she treated me extremely nice.

 

[KPH]

Nope but my ex had to deal with it from my mom...smdh.....he used to look at me for help and I'd just smh and laugh.

My ex did the same thing to me and I was trying my darnest to understand his mom.

 

[msdeevee]

I have the same prob with my Jamaican MIL.

Thank goodness for caller ID.

When she calls sometimes I just let voicemail get it & then when DH gets home I say your Mother called call her back to see what she wants.

 

[PopLife]

This is my story. My ex was from Belize and was raised in the states with no accent but his mother's was ULTRA STRONG and the only thing I would understand was "nevermind kph". I didn't understand a word and he'd look at me knowing good and well I needed a translator and just laugh. He'd even say "KPH my mother is calling you" I didn't even understand my name coming out of her mouth and mind you my first name has only 4 funky letters No, it never improved but she treated me extremely nice.

OMG...hilarious!
I was just on the phone with my SO and he was like my mom said she talked to you last night, what were ya'll talking about (jokingly)...I wanted to say hell if I know.

 

[PopLife]

I have the same prob with my Jamaican MIL.

Thank goodness for caller ID.

When she calls sometimes I just let voicemail get it & then when DH gets home I say your Mother called call her back to see what she wants.

I have even tried that...she called me earlier yesterday and I didn't answer hoping she would leave a voicemail, but she just hung up called me again later. I really hope it gets better, lol.

 

[aribell]

You meant literally...I was expecting some deep relational issue.

I think you'll learn her accent over time. I had this issue with a South African woman I would talk to over the phone. At first I honestly couldn't make out a lot of what was being said. But I did my darndest to at least pick up key words and make an educated guess about the context. After a few weeks, I didn't have that problem anymore.

 

[melissa-bee]

LOL, you've brought back memories. I have experienced this before with my friend's mum and even some family members. Sorry I can't help, lmao
You could probably hint that she talks a bit too fast, I know that's only a bit of the problem but I might help her enunciate her words more.

 

[ThickHair]

Has anyone ever dealt with a language/accent barrier with their SO's family..how did you deal with it without coming across as a ding bat? Did it improve over time?

The guy I WAS seeing was from Ghana, but has been in the US for about 20 years and to speak with him on the phone, you would think he just got off the plane to go to University. It is easier to understand him in person, but on the phone, oh my. I have told him after he has rambled off something, "I didn't understand one word you said". So our phone calls were limited, much better in person.

Not much you can do, it isn't like she can change her accent.

 

[Krullete]

literally...

My boyfriend is from Belize but has been in the states since he was a child, so his Belizean accent is pretty much nonexistent....but his mother still has a very strong accent.

I can make out what she's saying when we're in person but lately as we have grown closer, she will call me on the phone to chit chat and I am completely lost in the conversation half the time. I just basically say uh-huh and laugh a lot. Last night I held a 30 minute conversation with her and I couldn't tell you what half of the convo was about.

Has anyone ever dealt with a language/accent barrier with their SO's family..how did you deal with it without coming across as a ding bat? Did it improve over time?

PopLife

You might try to learn her language. Even partial acquisition of her native tongue -- the vowels and consonants, for instance -- might help to increase your understanding: enabling you to decipher the way that her pronunciation English morphs under the influence of her native phones.

 

[LiftedUp]

I had to deal with it with my ex's mom. I just nodded and smiled. Sometimes when he or one of his siblings were around they would translate. Like they instinctively knew that their mother was not speaking English (we are all from the same country).

Anyway, I'd just continue conversing with her and if I realise that she paused, waiting for a response or answer, I'd just ask her to please repeat slower.