I can't believe he said that!!!!!!(Kinda long Vent)

[HairQueen]

I just went to a hair shop to buy an afro phony pony and the asian man selling them asked me if I had a job. When I replied yes, he said oh no don't get that one if you have a job. Basically saying that I should not get an afro hair piece because white people at work would not like it.

Well I was fuming and said to him that I found what he said very offensive because an afro represents how my hair looks in its natual state. Ok so I am relaxed but I'm not afraid to wear an afro pony incase white people at work won't like it!!

Its sad, because it reminded me of a friend of mine who used to work with me at my old job, she was relaxed and decided to cut the relaxer out and go natural with twists. When she got them she told me that she was afraid to get them at first because she was afraid that she would not be allowed to wear her hair like that at work!!

Ok so maybe I am being a little over-sensitive about the whole thing but it all just goes to show that our hair always seems to be such a big issue to both black people (not all of course) and to some other people - in a negative way. I just can't understand it. erplexed

 

[Daughter]

It's fear of the napp!

Like you said, sadly many black people feel that way about natural textured hair as well as some people from other backgrounds (though I've not personally heard any negative comments from those who are not black).

 

[Poohbear]

As long as your hair is neat, clean, and decent looking, it should be fine in a work environment. And I believe natural hair can be that way whether it's worn out with the actual texture (curly/kinky/wiry/coily/etc.) or if it's straightened. I agree that our hair doesn't have to satisfy the "whiteness" ideology that is still conditioned in the minds of most people today. We should be free to wear our hair anyway whether natural, relaxed, curly, straight, short, or long, and the list goes on...

 

[Chinagem]

I rock my afro at my job ANY day of the week and I wish somebody would say something to me about it. Honestly though, everybody's been saying how cute it looks and how young I look with my puff or afro. I've never even entertained the idea that somebody at work would have a problem with my hair being nappy or unprofessional because as soon as somebody comes out their mouth with it, I'll threaten them with a little thing I call racism and another little thing I call a civil suit and see how quickly their opinion changes. On another note, that guy was WAY out of line. He should have just kept his mouth closed instead of risking the chance of losing a customer.

 

[PretteePlease]

i think we black folks have more of a problem with natural hair than whites. i never had anyone white tell me i need a perm. i never heard anyone white say i cant believe she came out like that etc. maybe he was trying to be helpful, maybe his own prejudices were showing. i think maybe he was trying to be helpful. there was just a big fight about this on the poc forum on craigslist. very entertaining. what it boiled down to was that natural hair is more accepted in certian parts of the country than others. well at least thats where i left the argument.

 

[bellydancer]

I used to feel that way. i was afraid to wear my natural during interviews so I'd straighten the top layer of hair and put it into a bun. Once I got the job I would let it fro, but I now realize that it really doesn't matter. As long as you don't have bright blue or neon green hair, it's your personality and intelligence that they are interested in. I would have been HEATED at the asian guy though. That wasn't right at all. My sister is boycotting the lil asian beauty supplies, because of soooooooo many crazy comments that have been made. We shop at Sally's!!!

 

[mahoganee]

I had this problem when I first started wearing braids at work. I was told by a white girl that I should wear my hair like this other black lady who has a perm. I wear my hair whatever way I want to wear it. Nobody tells them how to wear there hair. My youngest sister has this problem where she works also. When getting her braids last week she had to make sure that they didn't look too "ethnic" or she could get fired. It's part of their rules. If that ain't discrimination...

 

[Poohbear]

i think we black folks have more of a problem with natural hair than whites. i never had anyone white tell me i need a perm. i never heard anyone white say i cant believe she came out like that etc.

I agree! I've noticed this too!

 

[NAY007]

He was absolutely wrong for saying that but when I think of the situation I think it's kinda funny. I'm sure he was honest and didn't try to offend you but tried to be helpful you know? I was cracking up at first when I read your post but then I thought about it and I'd be on fire too.

 

[lkg4healthyhair]

I remember wearing braids etc was really taboo in corporate america, but now I see men and women with locks, natural hair (afro puffs too) , braids etc. I got braids (micro) while pregnant and I was a little hesitant...My manager looked at me and complimented me on how nice it looked....I realized how silly I was....BUT on another note I have a friend who keeps her hair cornrowed (transitioning to natural hair) but when she goes on job interviews she wears wigs.....

 

[CharUK]

I must admit, I'm worried that my hair might not be deemed as 'appropriate' if I wanna wear a puff or whatever to work.

But I know it will, work colleagues/managment are so relaxed and not stuck up like that, so I'm going to be fine, but it is scary initially.

x

 

[HairQueen]

Thanks ladies for all your replies so far. At first I thought I was being silly about the whole thing, but I always go with my gut feelings and initial emotional reaction that I get inside about things and when he said it I immediately felt no u did NOT just say that!!!

Seems like most of you have backed up what I said about this whole problem with our hair. Its def because we live in the west :blondboob , if we lived in Africa I am pretty sure we would hear people say no such things.

 

[Daughter]

Its def because we live in the west :blondboob , if we lived in Africa I am pretty sure we would hear people say no such things.

I don't know about that, I have a friend who's Nigerian and she says when she goes back there on holiday some friends and family question her as to why she wears her hair naturally, to them, straight hair was like a status symbol, like only poorer folk wore natural hair because they have little choice. She had a battle to tell them not to relax her hair for a wedding she was attending!

Of course, I could be completely wrong as those viewpoints may not be widespread and pertain to those that she knows?

 

[Nyambura]

I've actually heard negative comments from white people about Type 4 hair. One of them was recently, from a fellow attorney, who happens to be a white woman. She was saying how this famous athelete looked like those little Monchichi trolls when he wore his afro picked out. I immediately told her that the texture and look that she was ridiculing was the way Afro hair naturally grew out of the scalp. She tried to back pedal and say that she liked dreds and braids but she just couldn't get with the Afro. Basically, she found Type 4 hair in its natural, unmanipulated state offensive. The sad thing is that she is not the only ignorant one I've encountered up here.

HairQueen, I agree with you. Although everyone's experience is different, and not all African peoples/nations have the same outlook towards tightly-curled hair, my experiences in Kenya, Zimbabwe and South Africa were that natural hair, usually closely-cropped, was an acceptable style for professional African women (lawyers, professors, etc.). The BSS salesman may have thought that he was being helpful but perhaps after your reaction, he might reconsider what he says. Sorry that happened to you.

 

[ThickHair]

I guess I will be the lone person who wants to disagree to say it was a little silly. Why should you really give a gosh darn what some asian man would have to say about your hair? Plus your hair is relaxed, he may have thought that it would look a little funny to have straight hair with an afro puff attached. Personally I think it looks just as funny as having natural hair with a silky ponytail.

All of the above is just my personal opionion, which I know may not be popular.

 

[HairQueen]

:scratchch

I guess I will be the lone person who wants to disagree to say it was a little silly. Why should you really give a gosh darn what some asian man would have to say about your hair? Plus your hair is relaxed, he may have thought that it would look a little funny to have straight hair with an afro puff attached. Personally I think it looks just as funny as having natural hair with a silky ponytail.

All of the above is just my personal opionion, which I know may not be popular.

Hi Thickhair,

Its just the principal of the matter thats all , the point is that he was trying to say that afro hair is not appropriate for work. Why the hell not? Every other race wears their hair how they please to work! As long as its not bright pink or blue or something then there should be no issue!

Plus I have cornrows in the front right now so it would not look funny at all with the afro puff at the back. I was just trying to make a point that our hair (again) seems to be an issue for some yet no other race's hair seems to be an issue.

Maybe my frustration is more around the fact that I thought to myself if he thinks that way about our hair I wonder who else does as well? So If I go to a job interview do I have to wonder if my hairstyle is "too black" ?