Well, I finally registered on this forum after weeks of observation and finally, a lot of self disgust. 
Less than 1 year ago I had thick, shoulder length, 4a hair that had been relaxed for 5 years. Before that I was all natural and only pressed my hair. Well, during and after college I began doing my own perms (boxes) and made the mistake of consistently overlapping my perms, not shampooing/conditioning & moisturizing like I should and using heat every other day. I ended up with 4 inches of split ends.
After moving to Philadelphia in June, I found a hairstylist in September 2004. She talked me into chopping 5 inches of my hair off for a "new start." In tears, I remember leaving the hair salon with hair that barely reached my earlobes and was cut into an angled bob hairstyle. From this point on, my hair nightmare begins. From the period of October 2004 until March 2005 I wore sew-in weaves for 1-2 months at a time to try and get back some of my length. This was to NO AVAIL because my hairstylist made it her mission to cut my hair every time (even when I said only a trim) and I could never retain any growth.
From reading this forum, I found out that I was not washing/co-washing & moisturizing my hair enough. I did not do enough protein reconstructors or protective styles. And when my hair was "breathing" for the weaves for a month or so at a time, I used heat almost every day because I did not know how to wrap my hair.
I am now at my breaking point. I got my last relaxer last week after having a sew-in for 5 weeks. While in the bowl at the shop, the water turned FREEZING COLD and the stylist had trouble getting the perm out. The owner ended up bringing hot water to the bowl from the bathroom!!!!!!!!! Although I thought that it was okay after my touchup, yesterday, as I was combing my hair, I noticed large white flakes in my hair. This could not be from dandruff, my hair was washed 1 week to the day!!! I'm thinking that it has to be from the perm not getting washed out properly. So far I haven't had any noticeable hair loss but as soon as I get home from the gym today, I must wash my hair with neutralizing shampoo and begin my regimen (if you could call it a regimen). MY hair is short and the ends are damaged-- even with all of the trimming. I don't know what to do at this point. The crown is 5 inces, the sides are 4 inches and some parts are uneven. Most of my hair reaches beneath my earlobes but a couple of inches shy of my collarbone/shoulders. Should I buy and try Surge? Any product recommendations? I am willing to try anything, including transitioning, but I need to know how to take care of my 4A hair so this never happens again. To tell the truth I feel lost without a stylist but I don't trust her. With my last relaxer, she pulled it though to the ends of my (already damaged) hair and when I yelled and asked what she was doing she replied "Girl, you NEED it!"
Someone help!!!!!! Please!
*cupcake*
Less than 1 year ago I had thick, shoulder length, 4a hair that had been relaxed for 5 years. Before that I was all natural and only pressed my hair. Well, during and after college I began doing my own perms (boxes) and made the mistake of consistently overlapping my perms, not shampooing/conditioning & moisturizing like I should and using heat every other day. I ended up with 4 inches of split ends.
After moving to Philadelphia in June, I found a hairstylist in September 2004. She talked me into chopping 5 inches of my hair off for a "new start." In tears, I remember leaving the hair salon with hair that barely reached my earlobes and was cut into an angled bob hairstyle. From this point on, my hair nightmare begins. From the period of October 2004 until March 2005 I wore sew-in weaves for 1-2 months at a time to try and get back some of my length. This was to NO AVAIL because my hairstylist made it her mission to cut my hair every time (even when I said only a trim) and I could never retain any growth.
From reading this forum, I found out that I was not washing/co-washing & moisturizing my hair enough. I did not do enough protein reconstructors or protective styles. And when my hair was "breathing" for the weaves for a month or so at a time, I used heat almost every day because I did not know how to wrap my hair.
I am now at my breaking point. I got my last relaxer last week after having a sew-in for 5 weeks. While in the bowl at the shop, the water turned FREEZING COLD and the stylist had trouble getting the perm out. The owner ended up bringing hot water to the bowl from the bathroom!!!!!!!!! Although I thought that it was okay after my touchup, yesterday, as I was combing my hair, I noticed large white flakes in my hair. This could not be from dandruff, my hair was washed 1 week to the day!!! I'm thinking that it has to be from the perm not getting washed out properly. So far I haven't had any noticeable hair loss but as soon as I get home from the gym today, I must wash my hair with neutralizing shampoo and begin my regimen (if you could call it a regimen). MY hair is short and the ends are damaged-- even with all of the trimming. I don't know what to do at this point. The crown is 5 inces, the sides are 4 inches and some parts are uneven. Most of my hair reaches beneath my earlobes but a couple of inches shy of my collarbone/shoulders. Should I buy and try Surge? Any product recommendations? I am willing to try anything, including transitioning, but I need to know how to take care of my 4A hair so this never happens again. To tell the truth I feel lost without a stylist but I don't trust her. With my last relaxer, she pulled it though to the ends of my (already damaged) hair and when I yelled and asked what she was doing she replied "Girl, you NEED it!"
Someone help!!!!!! Please!
*cupcake*
Also, I only have shedding now, NOT breakage!! So, breathe a sigh of relief, 'cause you can save your own hair with this site!! 
. It will be okay! Don't give up! second thing to do...find another stylist Asap...don't pay someone your hard earned money if SHE does not listen to your concerns...big no no! I think that you should try an Aphogee treatment, follow the instructions precisely as it says on the box. follow up with a moisturizing treatment like silk elements afterwards. Do Aphogee treatments once every 6 weeks but alternate between conditioning and protein treatments every week. I also think that you should try doing co-washes at least once a week and find a good moisturizer that works for you. I personally like oils and butters but Elasta makes a really good moisturizer called recovery...it's light not greasy and is very affordable, elasta also makes mango butter which smells heavenly. I think that you should stay away from weaves for a minute and try protective styles such as buns (not tight!), braidouts/twistouts...they really help...and if all else fails go to this site you will find a knowledge of info here to get your hair back on track 
Right now, I HAVE NO REGIMEN. Please give me some ideas on products and styles that I can wear in the meantime. These are the products that I've purchased so that I can get on track to learning how to do my own hair:
Anystylists who doesn't listen to the conserns of their client & at least know the basics of chemicals then they shouldn't be doing your hair.
wallbash
Make sure that you know what they are using on your head. This is not as easy as it sounds. Another thread on this board concerned a stylist who did a switcheroo.)
! I would use these products 
