Hubby hates my protective styles!!! Whatever

[simplyhair]

My Husband wouldn't leave me over a hair style....That's extreme.

I just enjoy HIM when he at lost of words b/c he thinks I'm drop dead beautiful at the moment ...I love the way he can't keep his hands out of my hair b/c its so soft..
Just like how he shaves his head b/c I think its sexy...

I want to be appealing in his eyes.... Maybe I'm the strange one for wanting to keep it HOT

ITA with this.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

My Husband wouldn't leave me over a hair style....That's extreme.

I just enjoy HIM when he at lost of words b/c he thinks I'm drop dead beautiful at the moment ...I love the way he can't keep his hands out of my hair b/c its so soft..

Just like how he shaves his head b/c I think its sexy...

I want to be appealing in his eyes.... Maybe I'm the strange one for wanting to keep it HOT

Soooo well said...you have to be considerate in a marriage....and when he makes such a simple request because he finds you sexy while wearing your own hair...thats actually a great compliment...because that means he prefers the genuine you.

Imagine it was the other way around and he was like I want you to stay weaved up with that Indian Remy because thats the only way you can look gorgeous.....that would be really triflin.....but your man is saying he loves you with no additional weave or anything....thats a beautiful thing.

Sometimes you have to put things in perspective imo.

Just my single, lookin forward to being married opinion

 

[GodivaChocolate]

My husband is happy with whatever makes me happy for the most part. He doesn't care about wigs, weaves, ect..as long as they are not excessively long and as long as I leave my hair alone and let it grow. If I cut it he would have a fit but he understands that I am achieving my hair goal and he supports me in that effort.

 

[Lady S]

Well, I see their are some really nice wives on this thread. I just do whatever I want to my hair whether or not my husband likes it. But, my husband learn a long time ago not to tell me what to do with my hair. I cook, clean, wash his clothes, and take good care of him. So my hair is my thing.

I think I'd be the same way if I ever get married. I'd imagine it would go both ways, hubby doesn't nag about hair and wife doesn't nag about *insert random thing here*

I'd imagine it would also depend on what type of personalities are involved.

Just my single butt rambling.

I have a feeling the first day I have with the guy I marry, I'll probably be sporting a half wig. He'll know what he's getting into.

 

[JustSimplyTish]

Ok I think a lot of this has been taken out of content.....

My husband does not personally care what I do if it makes me happy....He dislikes wigs and weave.....I do not wear wigs and weaves...merely because I personally don't like them and if I did I wouldn't because just as he goes out of his way to make me happy...I go out of my way to do the same for him because I love him

I doubt that anyone's man will leave them because of their hair choice...I don't think the OP or anyone else said that for that matter...it's about compromise and commitment to your union

I don't have to do anything...My husband provides me with everything...from the house, to the car, to my shopping sprees ...without limits...because he knows that is what I like... in return, I know what turns my husband on appearance wise and call me crazy but I give him what he likes the majority of the time...Why?? Because he is spoiled as am I, and I like turning my husband on...and he likes turning me on...he works out and keeps his appearance pleasing to me...and we Got each other in that manner...

It Does not make it wrong that a woman wants to please her man above hair goals.....Just as it does not make it wrong if a woman feels the way others do about not compromising with your man....I personally just choose NOT to take that route because I like a happy home filled with love and not resentment.

But if you had weaves and wigs when you met him...then he should be all good with it...But springing all that on him down the road can be an adjustment...just like if my husband gets sloppy fat down the road...I will 100% love him but I will 100% let him know this is NOT working for me and it is a turn off ....Lets get the weight off

 

[*CherryPie*]

Great post!!

Beautiful marriage!

Ok I think a lot of this has been taken out of content.....

My husband does not personally care what I do if it makes me happy....He dislikes wigs and weave.....I do not wear wigs and weaves...merely because I personally don't like them and if I did I wouldn't because just as he goes out of his way to make me happy...I go out of my way to do the same for him because I love him

I doubt that anyone's man will leave them because of their hair choice...I don't think the OP or anyone else said that for that matter...it's about compromise and commitment to your union

I don't have to do anything...My husband provides me with everything...from the house, to the car, to my shopping sprees ...without limits...because he knows that is what I like... in return, I know what turns my husband on appearance wise and call me crazy but I give him what he likes the majority of the time...Why?? Because he is spoiled as am I, and I like turning my husband on...and he likes turning me on...he works out and keeps his appearance pleasing to me...and we Got each other in that manner...

It Does not make it wrong that a woman wants to please her man above hair goals.....Just as it does not make it wrong if a woman feels the way others do about not compromising with your man....I personally just choose NOT to take that route because I like a happy home filled with love and not resentment.

But if you had weaves and wigs when you met him...then he should be all good with it...But springing all that on him down the road can be an adjustment...just like if my husband gets sloppy fat down the road...I will 100% love him but I will 100% let him know this is NOT working for me and it is a turn off ....Lets get the weight off

 

[Dogmd]

My husband is one that also dislike weaves and wigs with a passion. Talks about people who wear them and all. I feel that if I want to keep my husband from wandering off and finding the next woman with a head of hair that he finds attractive, i will make sure that i keep my head of hair and body just the way he likes it... pretty! I would much rather go to bed with a warm husband than go to bed without my husband and some fake hair. JMHO

 

[mezzogirl]

I showed my DH the first post. He too dislikes wigs, weaves etc. (if they look fake). He likes me in up do's and buns. He doesn't like the shiney synthetic looking stuff. If I have on a wig that looks natural he will tell me it looks nice because it looks like my own hair. For a long time my DH would wear his hair in a style that I found unattractive. He finally started wearing it how I like it and I think he looks sexy. I love looking at him. I don't want to consistently wear what is unattractive to him.

 

[Mommynikki772]

My husband is the same way...he despises anything that has to do with weaves, wigs etc....He has five sisters and I think he has some deep rooted Wig/Weave Horror stories that he has not gotten over

he would prefer I shaved my head bald than wear either or

That made me laugh my SO is so not into my wigs he would for sure prefer the bald look to weaves lol! Just had to laugh..

 

[Mommynikki772]

Thanks for all the input ladies.. I do realize at the end of the day its my hair,my head so what lol! I am sure he wont leave if I wear a weave but I do like to mix it up a bit.
I am gonna try more protective styles using my hair like more buns and roller sets like you ladies suggested.
Thanks to all and continued Blessings in all our hair journeys ladies!!!! FYI...I LOVE LHCF!!

 

[Sade']

Do you , it's only hair...good Lord.

 

[happycakes]

What happens when you're married and your husband wants you to relax the natural hair that you've been growing for 5+ years? He wants your hair to be straighten at all times and doesn't want you spending time twisting, fro-ing and so on. He says you could be making better use of your time and doesn't think natural hair is attractive on you/ or looks unkept. He just doesn't like any of your natural styles and is affecting your sex life.

Or if he wants you to go natural because he does not like relaxers. He wants his wife to wear her hair natural without chemicals. He even says he is not attracted to women who relaxes their hair anymore.

Would everyone here still have the same response?

Where do you draw the line?

 

[*CherryPie*]

He just want to see her wear her hair sometimes. He's not trying to change her. You're reaching too far.

What happens when you're married and your husband wants you to relax the natural hair that you've been growing for 5+ years? He wants your hair to be straighten at all times and doesn't want you spending time twisting, fro-ing and so on. He says you could be making better use of your time and doesn't think natural hair is attractive on you/ or looks unkept. He just doesn't like any of your natural styles and is affecting your sex life.

Or if he wants you to go natural because he does not like relaxers. He wants his wife to wear her hair natural without chemicals. He even says he is not attracted to women who relaxes their hair anymore.

Would everyone here still have the same response?

Where do you draw the line?

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

What happens when you're married and your husband wants you to relax the natural hair that you've been growing for 5+ years? He wants your hair to be straighten at all times and doesn't want you spending time twisting, fro-ing and so on. He says you could be making better use of your time and doesn't think natural hair is attractive on you/ or looks unkept. He just doesn't like any of your natural styles and is affecting your sex life.

Well thats assuming the woman spends alot of time on her natural hair which isn't always the case. Thats totally different from the OP's dillemma its a huge issue and he's saying he wants you to change what you are naturally. That requires a serious talk and step by step explanation. OP's husband said he prefers her with no additional weave, wearing her own hair.....and didn't make any demands beyond that....its actually a good thing because he is saying she doesn't need anything artificial to look good.

Or if he wants you to go natural because he does not like relaxers. He wants his wife to wear her hair natural without chemicals. He even says he is not attracted to women who relaxes their hair anymore.

Would everyone here still have the same response?

Where do you draw the line?

Well first off we'd have to determine weather he's being controlling or weather he's geniunely expressing a preference in a respectful manner....if he is....I would see that as another positive because that would mean that he sees you as beautiful without any alterations and has managed to have a concept of beauty that hasn't been poisoned by the media/advertising/videos.

 

[JustSimplyTish]

I mean surely we can deal in what if's all day....But the OP gave a specific scenario and that was what my response was based off...Not what if's ....That could go on all day ...because we as women and men like an array of different things...Just because we liked something 10 years ago does not mean we still like it....Times are different ...and that brings on change...that is why so many women are embracing their natural hair because things are not the same as they were 5 or even 10 years ago

 

[happycakes]

You are incorrect - he wants her to wear her own hair all the time. No weaves, protective styles, nada.

I am simply asking questions, not directed at anyone. There are several opinions on here that are not directly addressing the issue of "He just want to see her wear her hair sometimes." Just my opinion - it's not wrong or right. My opinion/questions is not directed at anyone in particular. We should all be able to post our individual opinions/interpretations without someone else telling us that we are reaching too far. You don't have to agree with me. Press the skip botton and keep moving.

I'm allowed to express my opinion / ask questions without being told that I reaching too far. PERIOD

He just want to see her wear her hair sometimes. He's not trying to change her. You're reaching too far.

 

[lilsparkle825]

Well thats assuming the woman spends alot of time on her natural hair which isn't always the case. Thats totally different from the OP's dillemma its a huge issue and he's saying he wants you to change what you are naturally. That requires a serious talk and step by step explanation. OP's husband said he prefers her with no additional weave, wearing her own hair.....and didn't make any demands beyond that....its actually a good thing because he is saying she doesn't need anything artificial to look good.

Not necessarily true. It could be because that's what he was exposed to growing up -- the good hair/bad hair mentality that, after 30 years, has little chance of changing....at least not without some serious coaching, which he may not be willing to undergo.

This thread has made me realize that my two years on LHCF have seriously changed my views on relationships and marriage (maybe for the better).....when I first got here, I definitely would have been crossing the line, answering as if I was married myself, and saying "he has no jurisdiction over my hair or anything else on my body" -- but as I have grown (and done a helluva lot of reading), I find myself realizing that some sort of physical compromise MIGHT be necessary to keep a marriage happy and hot, especially after the newlywed phase ends.

 

[slt54321]

Believe me men have things they will not comprise about either and to me that's okay, just like its ok for women to have things they will not compromise about, just depends on the people involved.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

Not necessarily true. It could be because that's what he was exposed to growing up -- the good hair/bad hair mentality that, after 30 years, has little chance of changing....at least not without some serious coaching, which he may not be willing to undergo.

This thread has made me realize that my two years on LHCF have seriously changed my views on relationships and marriage (maybe for the better).....when I first got here, I definitely would have been crossing the line, answering as if I was married myself, and saying "he has no jurisdiction over my hair or anything else on my body" -- but as I have grown (and done a helluva lot of reading), I find myself realizing that some sort of physical compromise MIGHT be necessary to keep a marriage happy and hot, especially after the newlywed phase ends.

The portion of my post that you highlighted and your response don't coincide so I'm confused as to what you're saying "isn't necessarily true"

 

[supermodelsonya]

Call me stubborn (and I tend to be), but if my DH wants to leave b/c I'm doing what I need to do for my hair (PS), then I say to him......Goodbye.

Oh my god thank you! It's just HAIR!!!!!

 

[Simply_elle]

IMHO it's "not just hair"

At the end of the day I want to keep my man happy. Period. We want our guys to go on a limb most of the time for our sake, but a simple hair style is too much? I think it takes a stronger woman to fulfill her SO's wants and desires. If its all done in the name of love and compromise... I see no issue!!!! I needed to work on my rollerset anyway!

D

 

[meecee]

Well, I see their are some really nice wives on this thread. I just do whatever I want to my hair whether or not my husband likes it. But, my husband learn a long time ago not to tell me what to do with my hair. I cook, clean, wash his clothes, and take good care of him. So my hair is my thing.

THANK YOU!!!!

My DH doesn't like my protective styles either, but he's smart enough not to make a big deal about it. He knows its a battle he wouldn't win. On the other hand, he has watched my hair grow and remain at MBL and trusts my judgement.

In marriage we also have to pick our battles. Hair shouldn't be a major battle.

 

[Mommynikki772]

THANK YOU!!!!

My DH doesn't like my protective styles either, but he's smart enough not to make a big deal about it. He knows its a battle he wouldn't win. On the other hand, he has watched my hair grow and remain at MBL and trusts my judgement.

In marriage we also have to pick our battles. Hair shouldn't be a major battle.

Thats very true you have to pick your battles. Hair isnt a huge one at all and my hubby is far far far from controlling he knows I am my own woman and will not be controlled.
I was just asking what else could I do besides weaving it up to protect my hair and keep hubby happy is all. This has turned into a huge debate but hey whats life without a little debate every now and then.
Most women married or not want to be attractive to the opposite sex and if wearing less weaves attracts your man that do you or vice versa whatever at the end of the day makes us happy

 

[JustSimplyTish]

IMHO it's "not just hair"

At the end of the day I want to keep my man happy. Period. We want our guys to go on a limb most of the time for our sake, but a simple hair style is too much? I think it takes a stronger woman to fulfill her SO's wants and desires. If its all done in the name of love and compromise... I see no issue!!!! I needed to work on my rollerset anyway!

D

I agree...and if "It's Just Hair" why the big deal about compromising....Why not do things with it that pleases both you and the man...If again it's Just hair...it should not be a issue....Anything that is considered a "It's Just or Only" people should have no problem changing, getting rid of, compromising with or doing without....

 

[Boujoichic]

Op stated that her husband hates all of her protective styles she didnt state just weaves. I cant really say what I would do for sure because Im not married and Ive only had one SO who had a problem with my hair he didnt like my braids but I wasnt about to take them out and he just accpeted it after a while. I kinda have to wonder though you ladies who have been on your journeys for a while would you sacrifice your progress because your hubby made comments about not liking your hair styles? I have heard of ladies suffering setbacks from wearing their hair out and no longer Psing like they were previously.

 

[*CherryPie*]

You were reaching too far and that's my opinion.

You are incorrect - he wants her to wear her own hair all the time. No weaves, protective styles, nada.

I am simply asking questions, not directed at anyone. There are several opinions on here that are not directly addressing the issue of "He just want to see her wear her hair sometimes." Just my opinion - it's not wrong or right. My opinion/questions is not directed at anyone in particular. We should all be able to post our individual opinions/interpretations without someone else telling us that we are reaching too far. You don't have to agree with me. Press the skip botton and keep moving.

I'm allowed to express my opinion / ask questions without being told that I reaching too far. PERIOD

 

[Cisselette]

Well, I'm not married yet but here's what I think.

I don't wear wigs or weaves but I do braid my hair with extensions. I wouldn't like anybody telling me what I should do with hair that grows on my own head.

My future husband might suggest other options but definitely not tell me he hates my hairstyle as if I'm doing it to bother him...

Anyway, the way I see it, I'm gonna spend about half of one of the many decades we're hopefully gonna share together doing protective styles, just until I reach my goal length...

So why does it matter so much? If I can explain to him that it is a means to an (not so far) end, he should be able understand and support me.

 

[Simply_elle]

Hmm...Maybe i'm missing the point

The key word is: compromise

PSing doesn't always= Braids or weaves.... However bunning or updos may have to be the styling option....

 

[kbragg]

My DH also hates weaves, braids, phony ponies etc. because according to him "It just doesn't look like you, and you don't need all that stuff."

Plus with my issues with my temples I need to avoid all tension anyway. I hate how wigs feel and the buns and ponies have been thinning my edges so I'm going to try roller sets for a while keeping the back pinned up off my shoulders and down when DH is home.

I don't see what's so hard about compromising to some women. I mean what if you DH wanted to rock a Kid (Kid N Play) style box, or perm his hair and wear a long ponytail. What if he wanted Jermaine Jackson's hairdo or decided colored courderoy pants were his new style?

Surely you would want him to compromise on that right? Shoot I let DH know when he needs to get a hair cut for sure cuz as I told him "bangs are for girls

 

[kbragg]

Well, I'm not married yet but here's what I think.

I don't wear wigs or weaves but I do braid my hair with extensions. I wouldn't like anybody telling me what I should do with hair that grows on my own head.

My future husband might suggest other options but definitely not tell me he hates my hairstyle as if I'm doing it to bother him...

Anyway, the way I see it, I'm gonna spend about half of one of the many decades we're hopefully gonna share together doing protective styles, just until I reach my goal length...

So why does it matter so much? If I can explain to him that it is a means to an (not so far) end, he should be able understand and support me.

But what would you rather he do, pretend he likes it? What if you decided to do a Rihanna hair do complete with the blonde.....the peacock style and that look totally turned him off. Would you not want to know? Maybe him saying he doesn't like it is not suggesting you are somehow doing it to get at him but rather him just not finding that particular look attractive?

Like Janet's new look. I think it's pretty when it's styled but makes her look old and nearly bald when she gel's it down. It's not me thinking she gels it to piss me off, I just don't find it attractive.