How young is too young for a relaxer?

My mom relaxed my hair when I was 5 or 6 years old. I had a healthy head of relaxed hair as a child with no breakage. The longest it grew was midback but it usually hovered around shoulder/apl length. I went to the salon most of the time to get my hair done. When I was in 4th and 5th grade I wore braid extensions a lot. After that it was just periodically. Or whenever my mom decided to put some in for me. I don't think it's a problem to relax a school aged child's hair if the hair is going to be well taken care of. If they aren't willing to devote the time to take care of the hair then no they shouldn't relax it. Anything younger than that is ridiculous. If the parent isn't going to take the time out to properly care for the childs relaxed hair they should wait until the child can take care of it themselves and let them decide. I'm guessing around middle school aged is old enough to wash and blowdry your own hair. That's why we have so many young girls walking around with tiny broken off ponytails. I hate seeing girls out in public with their hair like that. I don't plan to relax my daughters hair. I plan to wait until they're old enough to decide for themselves.
 
I agree with most of the opinions here - no real cut off but not before the child is mature enough mentally and physically.

I was 14 and I had to prove to my mother that I was mature enough to take care of it. So before my mom decided I had to out to do research on relaxers. Decide on which type was right for me, get curlers to set my hair etc. I practically had to do a presentation for my mother.

I did not have any kind of electrical appliance and did not get any until I started college.

Same thing for all the other things I did -including getting my ears pierced.

I dont have any kids but I imagine if someone relaxed my child's head without my explicit permission that would be grounds for immediate dismissal of relations.
 
I was relaxed on my 12th birthday. I think anyone under 13 is too young, simply because I didn't even know what to do with my hair at that age. I thought I did, so you know that was a mess!
 
I commented earlier on how my mom felt that the relaxer was the quick fix and easiest way to go with my hair. Even though I had long hair back in my younger days, my hair was still overprocessed because my Mom would relax from root to tip. Even when I first got to college, I still relaxed from root to tip because I thought that's how it was supposed to be done. I didn't start relaxing the "right" way (roots only) until January 06. Think about it....first relaxer at about 6yrs (approx 1992), relaxing root-to-tip until the end of December 2005...13 years of root-to-tip relaxing!!! Let's say I got a relaxer, on average, every 7 weeks...that's about 7 relaxers a year (52 divided by 7). Now multiply that 7 X 13...WHOA, 91 overprocessing root-to-tip relaxers! When I think about that, it scares me. I'm surprised my hair didn't fall out. If ever my future daughter decides to get a relaxer, she will be educated to the highest extent about haircare, even if she were to stay natural. Thank goodness for hair boards. I love you guys.
 
I have a son. But if I had a daughter, she wouldn't get relaxed until past high school age, if that's her decision.
 
I was 16 when chemicals were first introduced to my hair (jheri curl) I didn't take care of it properly hence my hair broke off badly :( after that I transitioned to perms....TSUprincess04 brought back (bad) memories of me relaxing root to tip for years also :eek: ...my hair looked HORRIBLE....I transitioned quite by accident...I learned how to braid my hair and kept it in braids (redoing them every 6 to 8 weeks) til all of my perm grew out (this was back in 1996....I've been natural every since)

I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter, I have already started talking to her about how to handle her natural hair, I talk to her about moisturizing, DC, styling. She watches me closely when I'm doing my hair..... one morning she walked into the bathroom while I was bent over the tub she said "washing you hair momma?" I said 'yep' (I was actually CW but she doesn't know the difference yet)

When she gets older and has a job if she still wants a perm then she can do her own hair or go to a stylist and pay for it herself.
 
I got my first relaxer around 5th grade. My mom just got tired of combing through it and I always had it pressed. Well, I asked my mom why she relaxed it and she said it was just too thick. (Thanks alot mom) But like everyone else said, don't relax unless you know what your doing and wait for it to be your pre-teen's decision. I will not relax my daughter's hair until she is of age to decide for herself. That means 14, and hopefully she will love her natural hair and not want to.
 
Ok I have this question, I have seen so many little girls of color under the age of 10 who hair is relaxed not pressed? I know the difference, I do see some pressed and braids but more relaxed and this makes me wonder how many feel the same, and I do believe it is on the hair.

My daughter no relaxing if not ever needed, I am not sure how her hair will be when she gets older, but if she would like a relaxer at 10 and her hair needs one I may think texterizing again.

But believe me I have seen some littler girls, cornrows cannot help them. Hot comb please...
 
BeautifulWideEyes said:
3 is entirely too young and I'm not even gonna talk about 18months :eek: that's the worst/youngest I've ever heard of besides 3.
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And the worst part is that she does it every 6-7 weeks, relaxing root to tip. :confused: They baby is just barely over 2 now, but she already is starting to losing hair at the nape do to the damage and overprocessing.
 
B_Phlyy said:
And the worst part is that she does it every 6-7 weeks, relaxing root to tip. :confused: They baby is just barely over 2 now, but she already is starting to losing hair at the nape do to the damage and overprocessing.
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That is a damn shame! :(
 
3? Poor baby. I was 18 when I first got a relaxer. My Mom refused to put one in my hair. I don't have children yet, but any daughter of mine can't think about getting relaxer until she is at least 16 years of age.
 
Blackbird77 said:
I knew a lady who relaxed her daughter's hair at 4 mos.
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As f**ked up as it sounds, I know quite a few women who relaxed their daughters' hair before their first birthdays.
 
Blackbird77 said:
I knew a lady who relaxed her daughter's hair at 4 mos.
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:eek: OMG.. THAT POOR BABY!! this makes me want to cry... or slap the hell out of that mother. THAT'S STRAIGHT UP CHILD ABUSE!!!
 
caribeandiva said:
:eek: OMG.. THAT POOR BABY!! this makes me want to cry... or slap the hell out of that mother. THAT'S STRAIGHT UP CHILD ABUSE!!!
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yes it is straight up child abuse:mad:

I think you should relax after the soft spot in the skull heals.
I'm not going to put a relaxer in my lil one hair.
If she wants a relaxer she is going to have to be an adult and out of the house and I will still try to talk her out of it.:D
 
When I went to Beauty school in '86 we were told that a child should be at least 12 before their first relaxer. I was 14 when I got mine. As a teacher in a black school I can see the damage what putting perms in these young girls hair. I begged my friend not to put a perm in her daughter's apl 3b/4a? hair. She did it anyway and it looked so lifeless. :(
 
Blackbird77 said:
I knew a lady who relaxed her daughter's hair at 4 mos.
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I could not believe your post but once I saw you're from Charleston( I'm here too) I could believe it. We got an issue with putting perms in little girls hair, however, 4 mos. is puredee rediculous!!!!!!:perplexed
 
tonia682 said:
I could not believe your post but once I saw you're from Charleston( I'm here too) I could believe it. We got an issue with putting perms in little girls hair, however, 4 mos. is puredee rediculous!!!!!!:perplexed
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Damn her true texture ain't even came in yet!!!
 
When I worked at the beauty supply, I used to see a lot of three year old girls getting relaxers. One time a woman came in with a 14 month old in her arms and asked me whether or not we had something mild enough for her hair. Of course I said "No ma'am we do not, nobody does." and proceeded to give her some tips on how to deal with her daughters coily hair.

Never mind the fact that it only needed some moisture, she couldn't put it in a ponytail and she thought the child's hair looked nappy.

I personally think putting a relaxer on anyone younger than 10 should be considered child abuse...but that's just me.
 
My daughter is six years old with very long texturized hair. It's healthy and is good condition. If I had it to do over I would have done the same thing. I agree it not for everyone but for me, yes me (as the mother combing her hair everyday), it was the best thing (for me). But just as I do my hair it is texturized so that if she decides she wants to wear it natural at 15 she has that choice.:)

I do think 4 month and 18 months is to young.
 
My daughter is nine and she is natural.I haven't even considered a relaxer for her hair I had too many burns from them as an adult I can't even imagine what it would do to her scalp!!!:eek: I want to share this email that I received a while back from Braids by Breslin I subscribe to their mailing list. I usually keep my daughters hair braided or in ponytails.
---- Original Message -----
From: Marquetta Breslin
Sent: Thursday, August 03, 2006 8:27 PM
Subject: This Child Screamed In Pain...


Hi ,

A sweet lady contacted me. She needed help
for her 18-month-old daughter.

Why?

The lady had put a relaxer in her daughter's
hair. Not only was she in pain, but her hair
was in risk of falling out because of scalp
damage.

I felt bad for the mother and the child. Of
course, the mother never intended to hurt her
child. She just didn't know how sensitive a
child's scalp and hair are.

The bottom line regarding the use of chemical
products on your child's hair is simply this:
Don't do it!

Over-processing delicate hair is a sure way
to deplete it of natural minerals and
vitamins, both of which promote good health.

Use a gentle shampoo for your children's
hair. Look for a product that won't sting
their eyes.

After shampooing and conditioning your
child's hair, you may want to use a
detangling product, but take care not to get
it in the eyes.

While arranging the hair, keep spray and
other products at a minimum. Use only what is
truly necessary and no more.

Your child is precious, and so is her hair.
Help her learn to treat it with respect...
and she will reap the beautiful rewards for
years to come.

Have a Blessed Day,
Marquetta Breslin

*********************************
 
Just remember ladies, what about children of other races dying frying and who knows what to their daughters hair. For example beauty pageants. I do not want to say relaxing you childs hair is right, but I know when I was young I beg for a perm (relaxer) then and the salon had no age limit my mom took great care of my hair, it was long and lushious. Until I was 18 and I cut it all of, I got tired of it.
 
i say seven but i believe relaxers are more for the "parent" than the child. i can't think of another reason to relax so young. i'm gonna hold out as long as i can with my daughter. she's four, so i'm thinking maybe 12 or 13. even longer if she's down for it :lol:
 
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