How to ask my stylist to use less heat?

[Polyesterdiva]

Okay. Sooo my stylist is a much older black lady, very sweet and generally a good at what she does. I have a hard time asking for certain things from her though, because she's set in her ways and I'm a lot younger (don't wanna be disrespectful).

I'm getting fed up though, and I'm trying to figure out a respectful way to ask her to use less heat on my hair. The reason: My hair is so flat on my head afterward and "bone straight." I'm used to braid outs so such straight hair is unnecessary and looks weird to me. Also, I'm sure my locks could spare the 400 degree flat iron, and looks MORE than sleek and straight enough when I flat iron it at 280 degrees (and still has body). Finally she clamps the flat iron down hard and pulls from root to tip to get the hair super straight and I feel like she's pulling too hard on the strands (especially those vulnerable ends!)

How can I bring all this up without sounding like I'm questioning how she does her job?

 

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

Just ask her respectfully and tell her the reasons why you want her to. If she's offended and gets angry, then maybe you should find someone else. Regardless of her age, you're paying for a service and the customer is always right.

 

[Miss*Tress]

Ask her to leave more texture and body in your hair. If she complies, this should result in her using less heat and pressure. Alternatively, tell her you want to change up your look a bit and ask her to use a marcel curling iron instead of a flat iron or pressing comb - I don't think you can pull the hair as hard and straight with it. Good luck!

 

[Grand Prix]

Simply tell her that you would like to give that a try. As long as you don't bring this as critisism, why wouldn't that be reasonable?

Your stylist might even think you love the sleek look. If you won't say anything, she can't know.

 

[NikStarrr]

Simply tell her that you would like to give that a try. As long as you don't bring this as critisism, why wouldn't that be reasonable?

Your stylist might even think you love the sleek look. If you won't say anything, she can't know.

I agree. If you ask in a polite manner, how could that be disrespectful? Simply asking is not--and if you feel like it would be taken that way...maybe that's not the best stylist for you. She is working for YOU.

 

[beans4reezy]

Explain to her why you'd like her to tone down the temp on the flat iron. If you are not looking for a bone straight look, then you shouldn't be paying for one. A hairdresser is there to acheive the look YOU want. Unfortunately, these hairdressers get this twisted all the time; they want to give you what they like, not what you want.

 

[ThickHair]

I would say time to find a new or become a DIY'r.

Not throwing stones at you but IMO 200 degree heat is the same as 400 degree heat. Heat is heat and it isn't usually good for hair, but some don't mind heat.

 

[theprototype]

Tell her you want to wear it curly/wavy, and ask for a rollerset?

 

[SistaSista]

Before you sit in the chair, I would tell her that you want to try something different. Explain to her that you don't want to have the bone straight look this time just to see how it comes out. I would explain this in detail as far as the flat iron technique goes. I'm sure she will comply because you are not necessarily criticizing her technique but suggesting that you want something different.

 

[Keen]

Just ask her respectfully and tell her the reasons why you want her to. If she's offended and gets angry, then maybe you should find someone else. Regardless of her age, you're paying for a service and the customer is always right.

And if she doesn't agree, you need to find yourself a new stylist.

 

[Polyesterdiva]

Before you sit in the chair, I would tell her that you want to try something different. Explain to her that you don't want to have the bone straight look this time just to see how it comes out. I would explain this in detail as far as the flat iron technique goes. I'm sure she will comply because you are not necessarily criticizing her technique but suggesting that you want something different.

Thanks! Everyone's advice has given me courage. It's not that big of a deal, and she is there to make me happy in the end. I like the idea of talking to her before we start because once I'm in the chair I feel weirdly "trapped" and at her mercy.

So in the 5 or so minutes I usually wait before the chair I'm gonna tell her I've been styling my hair with less heat and ask her if she could rollerset my hair, or flat iron it at a lower heat and not as straight.

 

[fattyfatfat]

that sounds like a good idea. if she doesnt want to, then you should find somewhere else to go. Im continuing my search for a stylist that listens to ME.

So in the 5 or so minutes I usually wait before the chair I'm gonna tell her I've been styling my hair with less heat and ask her if she could rollerset my hair, or flat iron it at a lower heat and not as straight.

 

[Tee]

I know exactly what you are going through. PolyDiva, if you want to keep your hair and not hinder your progress by heat abuse, you will have to:

A) Tell her exactly what you want before she puts a finger in your hair
B) Find a new stylist who has no problem doing what you want them to do.
C) Only let her give your rollersets

I use to wonder why my hair wouldn't grow. Helz, it was growing; she was burning it out though.