How not to become comfortable being single?

[mango387]

I HATE/AM TIRED OF DATING!!! I want to get married, and I know that marriage is a lot of work. (Most of the people in my family have been married for over twenty years. Even my relatives in my peer group have stayed married for at least five years). Truth be told, the work that I know that it takes to stay married scares me a bit.

At the same time, I am not sure that I am ready for marriage. My concern is that I am going to become to comfortable as a singleton. How do you avoid that? (BTW, most days I am okay being single, but sometimes I really want the companionship that marriage can bring).

FYI: I am a friendly loner who enjoys people from time to time, so that's how I can handle being single relatively well most days.

I won't be able to respond tonight. If anyone understands what I mean, then please post. I promise that I will read.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

You know what? I've learned that whether youre comfortable being single or not, it doesn't really matter TOO much.

I've known friends who were at one time perpetually single, and who actually were pro singledom for life.....who are now happily married to wonderful men! Then I know some friends who are single and miserable about it. Some were miserable and now married, but most are still single and feeling miserable about it.

My take on it is this: You can either enjoy the rollercoaster ride of singledom while it lasts, OR you can be fighting and cursing the whole way through and be miserable. Personally, I prefer to be happy, positive, upbeat and "comfortable" no matter which state I find myself in (ie. single or married). If you had to live your life a certain way, wouldn't you want to live it the happiest way possible?

So, if I were you I would try hard to feel comfortable no matter if you're still sinlge or not. Because your life can change in an instant. Not only that, but you're right....marriage is hard work! Someimes you don't realize how good something can be until you don't have it anymore, so....while being married or in a relationship can be wonderful, try to enjoy your singleness while you still can. . That's what I'm trying to do.

Plus, I know a lot of people say that men tend to gravitate towards women who seem happy with their lives whether single or not.

 

[nathansgirl1908]

I think the point is to be comfortable in whatever stage brings you the most happiness and peace. I also think that there is a myth hanging out there in the air that if you relish your single status, it will somehow ward off potential suitors. It won't. And it won't make you anti-marriage. But also realize that if you do get "too comfortable being single" then it is for good reason. I think you should relax and just see where life takes you.

 

[hopeful]

I think it is best to be as happy as possible but be careful to not become too set in your ways.

 

[mango387]

^^^Thanks. IMHO, I am still kind of young to become too set in my ways, but I am actually happy. This weekend, I went to a function where a lot of people had dates, and only one person asked where my date was. For the first time in a long time, I wasn't hurt by that. I had fun at the event and played social butterfly which is pretty good for a self-described loner.

Anyway, thanks ladies!!!

 

[mischka]

The hyper awareness of the biological clock ticking and being married for the sake of being married is probably going to be counter productive. Saying "I want to be married" and the same time you're saying "I'm scared of marriage" comes off as desperation. My advice: relax.

 

[Makenzie]

I have been married and now I am single. I would like to remarry one day, but for now I enjoy the freedom I have that I did not have when married. I enjoy not having to cook everyday, unless I want to. Not having extra laundry to do, extra bills to pay and decorating and shopping the way I want to.

My two cents, enjoy your single state. Marriage can be wonderful, but it is a whole different experience that has its own highs and lows.

 

[CarLiTa]

What aspects of dating do you hate?

Just trying to understand so that I can give advice.

 

[Maracujá]

BUMP BUMP BUMP

 

[Maracujá]

I know exactly what the OP is talking about and I'm surprised this thread isn't longer cause this is def one of the things that concerns me the most. I've practically been single my entire life so I wonder what it will be like to be in a relationship, will I be able to cope and have all these characteristics that make a rlp successful and fun?