How Men Fall In Love

movingforward13

I do what I want...
I was googling how men fall in love to understand the differences between men and women in this area... This "7 steps" came up a few times so I looked more into it and I wish I knew this years ago. I mean I heard about playing hard to get, making him wait, etc. but this really put things into perspective.

"When a man is asked what love feels like to him, more than likely his response would be that it relates to sexual passion and desire that is also possibly tinged with a touch of obsession for the woman. So what does a man experience is it love or lust or both. To understand the psychology in love where men are concerned makes it easier for any woman to understand her man better.

When women do fall in love they will experience moments of happiness and many great mixed feelings, where as men when they fall in love it is completely different to women. For love to hit initially there has to be some sort of attraction which will help to get the ball rolling for love to blossom. So how do you really know if a man is falling in love with you and what are the phases he will go through to get there. To make it easier for you to understand the psychology in love for men we have listed the phases for you to explore.


1. Tarzan likes Jane

A man has to have that instant physical attraction for you and this is based upon your physical appearance. It is true that men will initially become attracted to a part of the female anatomy and as men are all different they will no doubt like different things about a woman. There are men that get attracted to a curvy behind and for some the bigger the better and there are others that prefer the small behind. When men get older they will become attracted to the smaller things such as her lips, eyes, nose or how feminine and graceful she is within a mans presence. Therefore it has nothing to do with the whole package rather there has to be a specific appeal in a woman this is where he will start to like you.


2. The Hunter on the prowl

Men will basically hunt around to see which female will actually respond to any of there advances from the females that they do like, so if a woman does give him a signal that she does like him, this is when a man will stop his hunting and start to focus solely on his prey. Any advances that are made initially are very discreet and you would not call it obvious flirting, the man is looking for confirmation that if they do start to pursue you that something will happen. Therefore at this stage, if a man does like a woman he is not really bothered about the outcome, so if the female does reject him or does not respond to his advances then it makes it easy for him to move on to another woman, no doubt there are exceptions but this is usually the norm for what men would think at this point in time.


3. The Chase is on

When a man receives a positive response to his advances from a female that he really does like, then he will start the chase. This is where you will find that some signs will not be that obvious but the man will automatically assume that you do and he will pursue the woman and he will do this by showing her attention and will do his best to win her over, so the name of the game here is I am trying to get your attention. Once he has established that he has got your attention this is where things will move into the next phase of attraction.


4. The “I’m Going To Impress You”

By this stage women are falling in love, but for men they are no where near that point. All they are trying to do is impress you big time, they are doing this to prove to you that they are a worthy mate. They will plan dates, of course flood you with gifts, and they will also try and make you happy and in that same moment they hope they are making you happy and that they have also impressed you. No doubt the woman has held back but she will now succumb to his advances.


5. The“I Want You To Love Me”

So if a man knows that he is actually winning you over and that you are falling in love with him, this is the feel good factor and he knows more than ever that he has succeeded in what he set out to do and that was to get you to fall in love with him. No doubt he has also impressed you with his relationship skills this is all to prove to you that he does indeed make for a great lifelong partner for you. So at this stage he is waiting to hear the phrase “I love you” from your lips. Once he hears these words he knows he has got the trophy.


6. The Decision Phase

So once it gets to this stage a man knows that you have expressed your feelings and that they also know that they have got your love and commitment, so what will now unfold for both is that right up until this time he was only trying to prove to you that he is exactly what you were looking for in a man to love. This is where the problems will come out as he shows you his true colors which he hid from you while he was being the man of your dreams. Therefore he never was being his true self so the man you actually fell in love with is not the exact man you really think he is. A man will not wonder if you were right for them as his focus was in impressing you and it all was based on their initial physical attraction to you.


It is at this very phase that a man will wonder if a real relationship will blossom from this point. This is the stage where a man will really start to observe you as a real person and will see if they really do like you. Also at this particular stage is when a man will decide if you are worth trying for a long term relationship with them. In this phase a man will start to ask himself questions such as do I love her? Do I really want to be with her? Will I really be happy with her? Is she really the woman that I want? It is at this stage where it is also easy for a man to let go of a woman and it could be for pointless reasons. Men are genetically engineered to spread their seed, so when a man does eventually decide to love a woman that they want to be with she will have to be perfect in his perspectives but it is also the same for the woman the only big difference is that you made up your mind much sooner.


7. The “I Love You” from him

So if at this point if it does not feel right for a man then he will leave you for good, or he will start to ignore you if it was only a fling. In the case where a man does want to give love a go he will be ready for it, he will no doubt succumb to his feelings and will also become overwhelmed with feelings of love for you, this is where you will see that he will start to take care of you, and he will act jealous, and will do all the other things that do come with love. To true men do make a decision on whether to fall in love or not and the reason behind this is that men do not want to get hurt and their defence mechanisms do kick in to protect them.


In conclusion

Now that you know how men fall in love then be a wise woman and do not give in to all of their advances, so if you really want a particular man do not give in to his advances and do not say “I love you” when he wants you to say it, so do go ahead and turn his world upside down and what you will find is a man falling helplessly in love with you and not being able to control his own emotions for you. So with matters of the heart, be wise do show the man that you do like him, but let him pursue you, but in the same instance help to bring out the real man that he is, you do want someone that is showing their real self to you, so be smart let a man tell you that he loves you first, as in this way it will show you that you have won him over.

But to keep any relationship alive it does require effort on both parts as a relationship is about having a job that you love doing, so do put into it as it will contribute to any happiness that you can share with each other."


http://made2shine.com/psychology-in-love-understanding-the-way-men-fall-in-love/
http://elitedaily.com/dating/gentlemen/the-brutally-honest-phases-of-a-man-falling-in-love/
http://www.lovepanky.com/women/dating-men-tips-for-women/how-men-fall-in-love-stages-of-love
 
Am i the only one that wishes we could just be open and honest about our feelings and not play these "games" where I have to decline your advances/invitations when I really want to accept and must conceal how i feel when i really wanna express my like or love? I feel like this is why a lot of gurus may encourage women to date men they arent 100% into or why some women end up marrying a guy they wouldnt normally check for... it is easier for us to exhibit these behaviors when we arent really invested in a dude, but its super hard if you are. :cry3:
 
Am i the only one that wishes we could just be open and honest about our feelings and not play these "games" where I have to decline your advances/invitations when I really want to accept and must conceal how i feel when i really wanna express my like or love? I feel like this is why a lot of gurus may encourage women to date men they arent 100% into or why some women end up marrying a guy they wouldnt normally check for... it is easier for us to exhibit these behaviors when we arent really invested in a dude, but its super hard if you are. :cry3:
This 100% and I hate the games. So annoying.
 
Am i the only one that wishes we could just be open and honest about our feelings and not play these "games" where I have to decline your advances/invitations when I really want to accept and must conceal how i feel when i really wanna express my like or love? I feel like this is why a lot of gurus may encourage women to date men they arent 100% into or why some women end up marrying a guy they wouldnt normally check for... it is easier for us to exhibit these behaviors when we arent really invested in a dude, but its super hard if you are. :cry3:

I feel you. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. So, this isn't me at all. I actually have a problem showing emotion/showing I'm invested/showing I care/wanting to always be around the person showing them how I care vs. being by myself and doing me. And it's not because I don't like them, I just like ME...a gazillion times more than I could ever like anybody. And I am self entertained 99% of the time.

However, I don't think most people, let alone women, are like that. Especially women. It seems to me like the relationship advice to women is counter...idk..intuitive? to how most women are wired. "Act like you're the prize by not acting hard up for his love and attention. Do you. Fall back. Be eazy, G" And if I look around...not just at romantic relationships, but any type of relationship/life setting...it looks like women want to do the complete opposite of that lol. Whereas men have the opposite 'problem'. A lot/most of them seem to care too little....but they're supposed to be the ones who care the most.

What's wrong with everyone? :lol: it's quite sad actually.
 
I feel you. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. So, this isn't me at all. I actually have a problem showing emotion/showing I'm invested/showing I care/wanting to always be around the person showing them how I care vs. being by myself and doing me. And it's not because I don't like them, I just like ME...a gazillion times more than I could ever like anybody. And I am self entertained 99% of the time.

However, I don't think most people, let alone women, are like that. Especially women. It seems to me like the relationship advice to women is counter...idk..intuitive? to how most women are wired. "Act like you're the prize by not acting hard up for his love and attention. Do you. Fall back. Be eazy, G" And if I look around...not just at romantic relationships, but any type of relationship/life setting...it looks like women want to do the complete opposite of that lol. Whereas men have the opposite 'problem'. A lot/most of them seem to care too little....but they're supposed to be the ones who care the most.

What's wrong with everyone? :lol: it's quite sad actually.
It always seems backwards to me too, this article in particular. It makes sense to me to get the commitment from the other person first then decide what to do with it, especially if you're a woman. But I fully understand that I operate differently from most. I'm strategic but I'm also lazy. :sad: :lol:
 
This whole article screams: "basic ***** propaganda" to me. It's full of weak btch thoughts. Who wrote it anyway? Say I love you first without knowing where he stands? You betta slap yourself honey. Nah son. YOU need to figure if he's worthy of the "I love you" and commitment, not the other way around. Why risk commiting to a dud? Anyone considering the advice in the article should head on over to the "men don't love women like you" thread. It'll be worth your while. :yep:
 
This whole article screams: "basic ***** propaganda" to me. It's full of weak btch thoughts. Who wrote it anyway? Say I love you first without knowing where he stands? You betta slap yourself honey. Nah son. YOU need to figure if he's worthy of the "I love you" and commitment, not the other way around. Why risk commiting to a dud? Anyone considering the advice in the article should head on over to the "men don't love women like you" thread. It'll be worth your while. :yep:
Are we reading the same article?
This article is saying don't say I love you first. Actually, it is saying don't give in to him and make him work for it (refer to the bolded at the bottom of the first post)- that way he will fall first and you will have the power to make the decision if you want him or not. I really like this article because the science was given behind it and shows us as women where in the process we get f&cked up at.
 
Are we reading the same article?
This article is saying don't say I love you first. Actually, it is saying don't give in to him and make him work for it (refer to the bolded at the bottom of the first post)- that way he will fall first and you will have the power to make the decision if you want him or not. I really like this article because the science was given behind it and shows us as women where in the process we get f&cked up at.
Oh I see. I might need to reread this article then cuz that's NOT what I understood from it AT ALL.
 
This is scary:

"This is where the problems will come out as he shows you his true colors which he hid from you while he was being the man of your dreams. Therefore he never was being his true self so the man you actually fell in love with is not the exact man you really think he is."
 
This is scary:

"This is where the problems will come out as he shows you his true colors which he hid from you while he was being the man of your dreams. Therefore he never was being his true self so the man you actually fell in love with is not the exact man you really think he is."
It is. I believe they call this the "representative", which is why they say you should know someone past the infatuation phase before you make permanent/ life changing decisions. Most people usually get engaged/ married in the infatuation phase and they have YET to see who this person really is. And then even after the infatuation phase, life can change someone too- or reveal other sides to them that originally was suppressed 10, 15, even 20 years. Love is really starting to look like a crap shoot to me.
C'est l'amour.
 
Oh I see. I might need to reread this article then cuz that's NOT what I understood from it AT ALL.
So a lot of you are reading that "Men Don't Love Women Like You" book and the author wrote this article, which directly matches what the articles I posted above, he just has cussing and urban terminology. I am on my phone and can't copy the exactly parts (too long) but check with the part that says
"No matter if a girl is borderline ugly, average, or a super dime he reacts the same way—with pressure to attain her. Let’s break down what “attain” means. He doesn’t want to make you his girlfriend, marry you, or even **** you right away. He wants to chase, get you, and then he will decide after you’re in his clutches what he actually wants."
http://blackgirlsareeasy.com/2016/06/do-men-make-too-many-excuses.html

Interesting stuff ladies- please share with the younger women- the 25s and younger group. Not excluding our mature women but I think these young girls really need it in an age where Netflix and chill is "exciting" to most. If we give them these secrets- maybe they can avoid some "stupid" mistakes.
And we should also encourage women not to fight over a man but work together on teaching him a lesson. We need to rebuild our sisterhood.
 
I told a guy I may or may not be seeing that it's annoying that I can't be real with him, that I have to play all these games and what not. He told me he doesn't want me to be real, he wants me to be a fantasy. Not sure how serious he was, but there you go. Men are stupid and like fakeness.
This reminds me of something that @Chicoro posted. I read it 8 months ago and I still remember it because it's great info. It's post # 47 at https://longhaircareforum.com/threa...h-got-a-serena-lookalike-new-baby-girl.809017 and here's part of it:
.....this Chinese girl said once," I don't know why a man asks me if I love him or not. Like I am really going to tell him if I do not."
- Lesson: Only tell them what they want to hear.

A man told me he wants a woman to smile all the time and be quiet and subservient. He said it did not matter if her smile or subservience was genuine or not.
-Lesson: Fake-ness is acceptable and encouraged especially if it strokes the man's ego.

I saw a study in men's magazine once that said men would overwhelming choose and would rather make love with a beautiful transgendered (former man), than choose and make love to a fat, natural woman.
-Lesson: Superficial beauty reigns supreme when it comes to [some men], even if it isn't real from the walls to the balls. Walls can be defined here as uterus walls and balls can be...as those on the bottom of one's feet.
 
I told a guy I may or may not be seeing that it's annoying that I can't be real with him, that I have to play all these games and what not. He told me he doesn't want me to be real, he wants me to be a fantasy. Not sure how serious he was, but there you go. Men are stupid and like fakeness.
I had a grown arse man tell me this before. Another one stated "you're too grounded to make this a fantasy." tf?! instantly dumped.

Some men purposely try to drag women into lala land for nefarious purposes...

anyway... carry on...
 
Dang guys, is it that bad?? :lachen::lachen::lachen:

I took it mostly as a joke at the time. I thought he was saying that he appreciated the effort I made to always look good and sexy. I don't feel like I can't be real with him, just not too real and not all the time.
 
Interesting as to the comment about men with trans women. I read something recently about why more Black men are starting to prefer trans women. I just SMH. Some Black men lack standards more now than before and won't ever get it together.

This reminds me of something that @Chicoro posted. I read it 8 months ago and I still remember it because it's great info. It's post # 47 at https://longhaircareforum.com/threa...h-got-a-serena-lookalike-new-baby-girl.809017 and here's part of it:
 
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