How many have said ENOUGH to a relationship and not looked back?

[Bmack]

I am just wondering and I think it would be a good empowering thread. I have a friend that is going through it right now. I have been through it and from the looks of it, some of you have too. I know there are women that have just said bump this and walked without looking for advise and it made them all the more better.

maybe I am just down now since my friend called me yet again with another sad story about her boyfriend...erplexed

I am married so I have not been through anything in years, but I remember playing myself lol...not really funny, but I can laugh now.

 

[Bunny77]

I am just wondering and I think it would be a good empowering thread. I have a friend that is going through it right now. I have been through it and from the looks of it, some of you have too. I know there are women that have just said bump this and walked without looking for advise and it made them all the more better.

maybe I am just down now since my friend called me yet again with another sad story about her boyfriend...erplexed

I am married so I have not been through anything in years, but I remember playing myself lol...not really funny, but I can laugh now.

Girl, I am the queen of saying "bump this."

Maybe that's why I'm not friends with any exes... I tell them to cease contacting me when I decide I'm done, and I say it with such authority that they agree.

(Well, a few check in down the road because they said they never forgot about me and wanted to see how I was... but it takes them a long time to get the courage to do that.)

I don't even know if the man I dated for six months in 2008 is even alive. That's how little contact we've had since then.


It works better for me that way.

 

[JustKiya]

I've walked away from all of my relationships with very little angst or looking back - but then, I was also a serial monogamist, soooooooooooo.

I know for certain that the longer you've been with someone, the harder it is. The more of your life you've merged, the harder it is.

 

[antisocial]

You don't even want to know how many men think I just fell off the face of the earth.

No argument, no explaining...I just disappeared

 

[Bmack]

You don't even want to know how many men think I just fell off the face of the earth.

No argument, no explaining...I just disappeared

Someone else on this board said something yesterday in another thread, and it was that saying something sometimes is the best thing. I so agree.

 

[locabouthair]

Girl, I am the queen of saying "bump this."

Maybe that's why I'm not friends with any exes... I tell them to cease contacting me when I decide I'm done, and I say it with such authority that they agree.

(Well, a few check in down the road because they said they never forgot about me and wanted to see how I was... but it takes them a long time to get the courage to do that.)

I don't even know if the man I dated for six months in 2008 is even alive. That's how little contact we've had since then.


It works better for me that way.

And thats how it should be done. When you're fed up and read to move on, you just need to cut off all contact.

 

[Nina_deF]

I only NOT done this one time and ended up wasting another 5 yrs (we were together 9yrs and 364 days) of my life. He convinced me that one always had to "work on the relationship", although it turned out that I was the only one working on anything.

Never again. My guttfeeling now rules over my "logical" brain.

 

[Ltown]

Girl, I am the queen of saying "bump this."

Maybe that's why I'm not friends with any exes... I tell them to cease contacting me when I decide I'm done, and I say it with such authority that they agree.

(Well, a few check in down the road because they said they never forgot about me and wanted to see how I was... but it takes them a long time to get the courage to do that.)

I don't even know if the man I dated for six months in 2008 is even alive. That's how little contact we've had since then.


It works better for me that way.

Me too to the bold and my girlfriends say I'm mean! Whatever

 

[ChasingBliss]

I'm in the process of saying "enough". I'm still hurting but my two feet keep moving forward.

 

[Bmack]

I'm in the process of saying "enough". I'm still hurting but my two feet keep moving forward.

Great, I wish you luck...slowly surely.

 

[Filmatic]

I do it so quick now. I've been called mean and I just say mmhmm and thank you. I also learned to drop the scrubs before they even step in the door. Phuck seeing the good in them. They need to let it shine from jump.

 

[LivinMyLifeLikeItsGolden]

I need to take some tips from you ladies... I have been broken up with my ex for over 6 months and I still can't tell him to "go straight to hell" as my sister encourages me too. why don't i have the guts

 

[Bunny77]

I need to take some tips from you ladies... I have been broken up with my ex for over 6 months and I still can't tell him to "go straight to hell" as my sister encourages me too. why don't i have the guts

One day at a time.

First step... don't take his calls... or don't call him. If you feel tempted to call him, call your sister instead and have her help you through it.

 

[Highly Favored8]

When the guy I was with told me

"You will NEVER be nothing without me"!

I bounced and never looked back when he sees me nothing but regret. Oh well .

 

[Ms Red]

Yes and it wasn't easy. Take it one day (or minute/second) at a time and pray.

 

[barbiesocialite]

I have NEVER backtracked with a serious ex.

I can't stand females that stay holding on to nothing but hopes, dreams and memories of the good times. I refuse to ever be one of those strung along women that stay with someone & puttin up with their selfish shenanigans for years on end if we are not in a legally binding marriage.

Furthermore, not only do I live by Maya Angelou's saying that if someone shows you who they are, believe them, but an ex is an ex for a reason. I honestly could care less about people's reasons for f*ckin up. I can't be bothered. They shoulda done right by me the first time. I don't expect people to change and I am not in the business of changing other people. I K.I.M.

I also take these sentiments to heart in every other aspect of my life as well, including friendships and business associates.

EVERYONE--except parents & children-- can be replaced.

 

[laCriolla]

Me too to the bold and my girlfriends say I'm mean! Whatever

you're not mean by dropping them At all.
quite the opposite.

when you string people along and don't really cut them off, or you string yourself along by not cutting it off- to me that is mean. lol. it's really a favor to cut all ties nice and clean.

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

I thought I was being mean last year when a dude grown *** 40yr old dude starting coming with nonsense 48 hrs before I first lil coffee date..I politely emailed him and that was that ...I got a ugly email saying don't pray for me..what happend to the sweet fallen angel I was chatting with..no idiots no more..I m too old for this it..

 

[LivinMyLifeLikeItsGolden]

Thanks for the advice. I told him tonight that I can't do this anymore and I just ended the conversation there. Got together my support team to help me get through the initial rough hump!

One day at a time.

First step... don't take his calls... or don't call him. If you feel tempted to call him, call your sister instead and have her help you through it.

 

[ThatJerseyGirl]

I am just wondering and I think it would be a good empowering thread. I have a friend that is going through it right now. I have been through it and from the looks of it, some of you have too. I know there are women that have just said bump this and walked without looking for advise and it made them all the more better.

maybe I am just down now since my friend called me yet again with another sad story about her boyfriend...erplexed

I am married so I have not been through anything in years, but I remember playing myself lol...not really funny, but I can laugh now.

wassup Joiseygirl!!

is this da same chick who kept blowin up da boyfriend's phone while he was outta town?erplexed

 

[Bunny77]

Thanks for the advice. I told him tonight that I can't do this anymore and I just ended the conversation there. Got together my support team to help me get through the initial rough hump!

GREAT first step!!!


And it's okay if it feels difficult. It's not going to be easy at first, so you will have some rough spots and some hesitation. That's normal, and you should embrace those feelings as being part of the process of moving on.

But know that this too shall pass, and prolonging it will just make it worse... not better! Deal with all the pain now instead of letting it drag on and on and on and on and on...


Now watch though... he is going to try harder. He might come at you with a bunch of apologies, say he wants to try again, wants another chance... men don't like it sometimes when it seems that THEY have lost the power. So he's going to chase you.

DON'T FALL FOR IT!!!!

This is the time when you might start thinking, "Maybe he's for real this time. Maybe I should try again." But remember, he's only doing it because YOU are moving on... he had six months when he could have tried to make things work... so you can't let that suck you back in if you know he's not right for you.

Good luck!

 

[Bmack]

wassup Joiseygirl!!

is this da same chick who kept blowin up da boyfriend's phone while he was outta town?erplexed

Hey!!!

Yes, and she is stilll going back and forth with her feelings. She stopped calling him and that negro is blowing up her phone now. I don't understand him. I just hope she can continue to be strong. erplexed

 

[ChasingBliss]

I have NEVER backtracked with a serious ex.

I can't stand females that stay holding on to nothing but hopes, dreams and memories of the good times. I refuse to ever be one of those strung along women that stay with someone & puttin up with their selfish shenanigans for years on end if we are not in a legally binding marriage.

Furthermore, not only do I live by Maya Angelou's saying that if someone shows you who they are, believe them, but an ex is an ex for a reason. I honestly could care less about people's reasons for f*ckin up. I can't be bothered. They shoulda done right by me the first time. I don't expect people to change and I am not in the business of changing other people. I K.I.M.

I also take these sentiments to heart in every other aspect of my life as well, including friendships and business associates.

EVERYONE--except parents & children-- can be replaced.

Thank you...Thank you....Thank you ((((HUGS))))

GREAT first step!!!




And it's okay if it feels difficult. It's not going to be easy at first, so you will have some rough spots and some hesitation. That's normal, and you should embrace those feelings as being part of the process of moving on.

But know that this too shall pass, and prolonging it will just make it worse... not better! Deal with all the pain now instead of letting it drag on and on and on and on and on...


Now watch though... he is going to try harder. He might come at you with a bunch of apologies, say he wants to try again, wants another chance... men don't like it sometimes when it seems that THEY have lost the power. So he's going to chase you.

DON'T FALL FOR IT!!!!

This is the time when you might start thinking, "Maybe he's for real this time. Maybe I should try again." But remember, he's only doing it because YOU are moving on... he had six months when he could have tried to make things work... so you can't let that suck you back in if you know he's not right for you.

Good luck!

Great post. Needed to read this too. Thank you!

 

[mrselle]

Yeah, I’ve walked away before and never looked back and it was one of the best things I could have done for myself at the time. Long story short, I was in my early 20’s and he was 30. We both had baggage, but with him being older and having more life experiences he had a lot more baggage than I was willing to deal with. In the beginning I thought I could handle his baggage, but I couldn’t. I tried to end it many times, but each time he begged me to be patient just a little while longer. Each time I took him back. Eventually, I got tired and I realized that he wasn’t “the one” so it didn’t make sense for me to waste my time “being patient” while he got his life together. So…..I stopped calling him. I stopped calling him and I stopped returning his phone calls. About a month into letting him go, he left me a message saying he wanted to talk to me and that even if I wanted out of the relationship he at least wanted us to discuss letting go. I deleted the message, never returned his phone call and didn’t look back.

 

[Bmack]

Yeah, I’ve walked away before and never looked back and it was one of the best things I could have done for myself at the time. Long story short, I was in my early 20’s and he was 30. We both had baggage, but with him being older and having more life experiences he had a lot more baggage than I was willing to deal with. In the beginning I thought I could handle his baggage, but I couldn’t. I tried to end it many times, but each time he begged me to be patient just a little while longer. Each time I took him back. Eventually, I got tired and I realized that he wasn’t “the one” so it didn’t make sense for me to waste my time “being patient” while he got his life together. So…..I stopped calling him. I stopped calling him and I stopped returning his phone calls. About a month into letting him go, he left me a message saying he wanted to talk to me and that even if I wanted out of the relationship he at least wanted us to discuss letting go. I deleted the message, never returned his phone call and didn’t look back.

Wow, super. I say this because I know that joker would have tried to convince you to come back...

 

[moore.1506]

*Raises hand pick me pick me*

Yeah I have but for me it was more of an epiphany situation, I dated him off and on for like 4 years. When we first started talking he randomly stopped talking to me for like 2 months at this point we were nothing more than f budies,

then we started talking agian an made it "official" during this time he was doing football so he only called at 7 in the morning no more calls throughout the day and this whole time we did not go on any dates he never claimed me to friends I never even hung out with his friends the only time I saw him out was when we went to clubs. I knew he cheated on me and excepted his lame excuse.

Then we stopped talking for about a year. Then we started talking agian, this time he finally took me out actually called me once a day but he still had excuses for why he didn't want to be offically bf and gf. So while listening to a random song about making love I realized I want to make love not just f**k and I wanted to go on dates and I wanted someone I could depend on when I called. I still talked to him but I stopped having sex with him. Then finally I told him I couldn't do it anymore I wanted a real relationship and felt like I deserved it, that was it. We didn't speak for a good year and a half.

I decided I wanted to work on my self and not date, but sometimes love happens... I started talking to a former friend a guy I knew since I first started college, he is sweet intellegent and our senses of humor are a perfect match. We have been together more than a year and we are talking marriage. Sometimes saying ENOUGH to a relationship is the best thing for your next one

 

[LivinMyLifeLikeItsGolden]

thank you thank you. i feel so empowered by your message. today was a sad day, but my friends told me to get my butt out of bed and hang out with them and keep living. i know everything is going to be ok, just waiting for my emotions to settle down.

Thank you for your encouragement, it really has helped, and made me feel better!!!

GREAT first step!!!


And it's okay if it feels difficult. It's not going to be easy at first, so you will have some rough spots and some hesitation. That's normal, and you should embrace those feelings as being part of the process of moving on.

But know that this too shall pass, and prolonging it will just make it worse... not better! Deal with all the pain now instead of letting it drag on and on and on and on and on...


Now watch though... he is going to try harder. He might come at you with a bunch of apologies, say he wants to try again, wants another chance... men don't like it sometimes when it seems that THEY have lost the power. So he's going to chase you.

DON'T FALL FOR IT!!!!

This is the time when you might start thinking, "Maybe he's for real this time. Maybe I should try again." But remember, he's only doing it because YOU are moving on... he had six months when he could have tried to make things work... so you can't let that suck you back in if you know he's not right for you.

Good luck!

 

[Bmack]

*Raises hand pick me pick me*

Yeah I have but for me it was more of an epiphany situation, I dated him off and on for like 4 years. When we first started talking he randomly stopped talking to me for like 2 months at this point we were nothing more than f budies,

then we started talking agian an made it "official" during this time he was doing football so he only called at 7 in the morning no more calls throughout the day and this whole time we did not go on any dates he never claimed me to friends I never even hung out with his friends the only time I saw him out was when we went to clubs. I knew he cheated on me and excepted his lame excuse.

Then we stopped talking for about a year. Then we started talking agian, this time he finally took me out actually called me once a day but he still had excuses for why he didn't want to be offically bf and gf. So while listening to a random song about making love I realized I want to make love not just f**k and I wanted to go on dates and I wanted someone I could depend on when I called. I still talked to him but I stopped having sex with him. Then finally I told him I couldn't do it anymore I wanted a real relationship and felt like I deserved it, that was it. We didn't speak for a good year and a half.

I decided I wanted to work on my self and not date, but sometimes love happens... I started talking to a former friend a guy I knew since I first started college, he is sweet intellegent and our senses of humor are a perfect match. We have been together more than a year and we are talking marriage. Sometimes saying ENOUGH to a relationship is the best thing for your next one

This is what I am talking about!!! Just finally saying enough and being strong. I know it is tough, but its worth it when you deserve so much better.

 

[Bmack]

thank you thank you. i feel so empowered by your message. today was a sad day, but my friends told me to get my butt out of bed and hang out with them and keep living. i know everything is going to be ok, just waiting for my emotions to settle down.

Thank you for your encouragement, it really has helped, and made me feel better!!!

I am so happy to hear that she encouraged you. You are going to be just fine. Focus on you, the things you want to do for yourself.

Make sure you always look good too. It helps, I know because when you look good you feel good. Keep going out with your friends and live your life!

One thing I notice with us women is that when we hurt if feels like our world is crumbling, but what does not kill us only makes us stronger. I use to say to myself when ever I was upset over something "Hey, your not dead, this ish did not kill you-you still have life."


Ladies this is one of the main reasons I posted this thread. I think it helps when we hear other womens stories about how they were strong-it empowers us in a way to take the same steps....thanks ladies. Please keep the post coming.

 

[ChasingBliss]

I am so happy to hear that she encouraged you. You are going to be just fine. Focus on you, the things you want to do for yourself.

Make sure you always look good too. It helps, I know because when you look good you feel good. Keep going out with your friends and live your life!

One thing I notice with us women is that when we hurt if feels like our world is crumbling, but what does not kill us only makes us stronger. I use to say to myself when ever I was upset over something "Hey, your not dead, this ish did not kill you-you still have life."


Ladies this is one of the main reasons I posted this thread. I think it helps when we hear other womens stories about how they were strong-it empowers us in a way to take the same steps....thanks ladies. Please keep the post coming.

I am so glad you started this thread too. Thank you. I feel so empowered by the responses.