How long do you give a guy to call before writing him off?

[MzLady78]

I met this guy who was working security at my bar about 3 weeks ago. Almost a week and a half ago, I gave him my number, he insisted he was gonna call. Hasn't happened yet. So I'm pretty much like "f--- it". I'm kind of disappointed cause it seemed like he was really feeling me. Even my girl who was with me and witnessed our interactions was really suprised that he hasn't called.

I think I gave him a pretty decent time frame to show his interest. What do ya'll think?

 

[Ms Red]

I agree with you! KIM

 

[Britt]

I agree with you! KIM

Most definetely...
I think if he was realing feeling you, nothing in the world would stop him from calling you for at least 5 minutes, men like to chase and newness of someone they just met...

 

[Taliah]

Most definetely...
I think if he was realing feeling you, nothing in the world would stop him from calling you for at least 5 minutes, men like to chase and newness of someone they just met...

True, for most, but his job puts him in the face of MANY woman...why didn't you get his number?

 

[Lilakoi’s_Sister]

forget him. if he called me now, i would not take the call.

 

[bluediamond0829]

I usually give them by the end of the week---example if i meet a guy say on a Saturday i will give him until the next Saturday for him to call. If i dont get a call or a text message. Then i erase the number.

The same thing happened to me. I met a guy around oh wow i think it was the beginning of December thats crazy because i know i met him around Mayweather's last fight. So it was December 8th. After that night I didnt hear from him anymore. No texting or anything. Of course i deleted his phone number when i did my usual phone contact list sweep. He just texted me this weekend wanting to hook up. He's like dang you already erased my phone number. Yea i told him straight up since i hadnt heard from him that thats what i do. I didnt call or text him after we talked.

 

[CurliDiva]

I met this guy who was working security at my bar about 3 weeks ago. Almost a week and a half ago, I gave him my number, he insisted he was gonna call. Hasn't happened yet. So I'm pretty much like "f--- it". I'm kind of disappointed cause it seemed like he was really feeling me. Even my girl who was with me and witnessed our interactions was really suprised that he hasn't called.

I think I gave him a pretty decent time frame to show his interest. What do ya'll think?

IMO, lot of service employees (working at resturants/ bars/ clubs) will "talk/flirt" with cutomers to just pass the time.

How often do you go to this bar?

Has he seen you "talking" to different guys? He may not have thought you were being "serious".

 

[MzLady78]

IMO, lot of service employees (working at resturants/ bars/ clubs) will "talk/flirt" with cutomers to just pass the time.

How often do you go to this bar?

Has he seen you "talking" to different guys? He may not have thought you were being "serious".

Often. Probably too often, lol.

Too be honest, because I'm there so much and I help out (going to the store, cleaning up at closing time), I really almost forget that I am, in fact, a customer. So maybe you're right.

My friends that know him kept saying what a nice guy he was and they know I'm not having any luck in that area so I figured what the hell?

And I don't know if he knows this, but I am actually very popular among the guys there so yeah, that could be another thing.

Oh well.

 

[MzLady78]

True, for most, but his job puts him in the face of MANY woman...why didn't you get his number?

Okay, the last time I did that everyone was like "oh, I never take a guys number, I let him call me".

This dating thing got too many rules and regulations for me.

 

[MzLady78]

Well, thanks for the input ladies. I figured I'd given him a good window.

Next......................

 

[Bublin]

I can relate and i think if a week goes by then he should be written off. If he does call then just hear what he has to say then assess from there.

I went on a date 2 weeks ago - a mutal friend set us up. After the date he told the friend he really liked me and when he got back from his business trip he wanted to see me again.

Well he hasn't been in touch and that mutual friend has not heard from him either. Noone knows how long he was supposed to be on this trip for.

I refuse to call him cus if he picks up all i'm gonna hear is that he was busy at work blah blah blah. My ego wouldn't beable to handle that!!!

I didn't really fancy him at that much but we got on well. I just find it sooo rude for him not to call.

 

[sky_blu]

You gave him a good window period. He sounds old enough to know better.

 

[Belle Du Jour]

I just remember that episode from SATC when Jack Berger was like, if a man likes you, he's making the call. He's coming up for coffee. If not, "he's just not that into you." I know some guys want to act like they're not pressed but I think a week is a good amount of time to act cool. It's definitely his loss.

 

[daniemoy]

I had a situation but it was the other way around. I met a guy who was super fine, educated, good job, and really nice. I called him once almost 3 weeks after I met him. Then I started feeling like I didn't want to get to know any new guys at that time so I didn't call again...after a month of no communication, I got a text out of the blue "are you ever going to call me again". I felt bad because I did tell him that I was going to call him so we could get together the next day..Long story, short I think sometimes your life dictates if you decide to pursue someone.

 

[glamazon386]

I'd say if I don't hear from you in a week or two (Two weeks is a stretch) then you really weren't that interested. Which means you're not worth my time anyway.

 

[NewYorkgyrl]

Maybe a week.

But then after that first phone call and we are in the "getting to know u stage" if I don't have any kind of communication with the guy either by phone, email, or text messaging after 3-5 days I automatically put the guy in the don't take him to seruous category.

A guy that is actively pursuing you will not want more than 3 days to go by without talking or communicating with you...

 

[NewYorkgyrl]

I had a situation but it was the other way around. I met a guy who was super fine, educated, good job, and really nice. I called him once almost 3 weeks after I met him. Then I started feeling like I didn't want to get to know any new guys at that time so I didn't call again...after a month of no communication, I got a text out of the blue "are you ever going to call me again". I felt bad because I did tell him that I was going to call him so we could get together the next day..Long story, short I think sometimes your life dictates if you decide to pursue someone.

Why couldn't he call you???

 

[MzLady78]

I can relate and i think if a week goes by then he should be written off. If he does call then just hear what he has to say then assess from there.

I went on a date 2 weeks ago - a mutal friend set us up. After the date he told the friend he really liked me and when he got back from his business trip he wanted to see me again.

Well he hasn't been in touch and that mutual friend has not heard from him either. Noone knows how long he was supposed to be on this trip for.

I refuse to call him cus if he picks up all i'm gonna hear is that he was busy at work blah blah blah. My ego wouldn't beable to handle that!!!

I didn't really fancy him at that much but we got on well. I just find it sooo rude for him not to call.

I just don't get it. I really don't.

 

[MzLady78]

You gave him a good window period. He sounds old enough to know better.

Absolutely............

 

[MzLady78]

I just remember that episode from SATC when Jack Berger was like, if a man likes you, he's making the call. He's coming up for coffee. If not, "he's just not that into you." I know some guys want to act like they're not pressed but I think a week is a good amount of time to act cool. It's definitely his loss.

Ok, then if you're "not really that into me" then keep it movin'! Why waste my time and your breath talking about "yeah, I'm gonna call you"?

It's really not that difficult.

 

[MzLady78]

I'd say if I don't hear from you in a week or two (Two weeks is a stretch) then you really weren't that interested. Which means you're not worth my time anyway.

You got that right.

 

[MzLady78]

I had a situation but it was the other way around. I met a guy who was super fine, educated, good job, and really nice. I called him once almost 3 weeks after I met him. Then I started feeling like I didn't want to get to know any new guys at that time so I didn't call again...after a month of no communication, I got a text out of the blue "are you ever going to call me again". I felt bad because I did tell him that I was going to call him so we could get together the next day..Long story, short I think sometimes your life dictates if you decide to pursue someone.

True.

Well, I'm not gonna sweat it. It was a nice little reminder of why I said I wasn't gonna bother with trying to date, etc. this year. Everytime I give somebody a shot, they disappoint. I'm all set.

 

[MzLady78]

Maybe a week.

But then after that first phone call and we are in the "getting to know u stage" if I don't have any kind of communication with the guy either by phone, email, or text messaging after 3-5 days I automatically put the guy in the don't take him to seruous category.

A guy that is actively pursuing you will not want more than 3 days to go by without talking or communicating with you...

That's about the timeframe I was expecting to hear from him in.

 

[Kiadodie]

You know it's funny..I just met this great guy (or so he seems) on Friday and he hadn't called all weekend. My cousin was pressing me to call him but I told her I DON"T do that meaning I believe in the man pursuing me. I was ready to throw out his number and then he called yesterday so it took him 3 days.

I think if the guy is really interested, he WILL call. My cousin on the other hand believes in pursuing. I just don't believe the woman should.

 

[meia]

I met this guy who was working security at my bar about 3 weeks ago. Almost a week and a half ago, I gave him my number, he insisted he was gonna call. Hasn't happened yet. So I'm pretty much like "f--- it". I'm kind of disappointed cause it seemed like he was really feeling me. Even my girl who was with me and witnessed our interactions was really suprised that he hasn't called.

I think I gave him a pretty decent time frame to show his interest. What do ya'll think?

Hmmmm....
I'd say no more than 3 or 4 days...
-Generally its believed people who call the night of or the next night are "desperate"
-Its also believed that if you call on night two you're "obviously interested"
(which you'd never want a woman to know that....right?)
-Night three and four are better for most men cos it makes them sweat it out a little bit (is he going to call me/ is he not going to call me?) and builds anticipation

A week and half is ignorant, negligent, and is unreasonable especially if he showed definite interest and does in fact your number. I'd say screw it too (although I think the only lingering question is if he lost your number or not? Thats happened to me before and I didn't call cos I lost it...)- If he does still call, gauge how he sounds on the phone and see if he sounds genuinely sorry. I'd forgive and forget if he sounded like it was an honest mistake.

 

[meia]

You know it's funny..I just met this great guy (or so he seems) on Friday and he hadn't called all weekend. My cousin was pressing me to call him but I told her I DON"T do that meaning I believe in the man pursuing me. I was ready to throw out his number and then he called yesterday so it took him 3 days.

I think if the guy is really interested, he WILL call. My cousin on the other hand believes in pursuing. I just don't believe the woman should.

I agree! Pursuing is cute (in like 3rd grade....) but to be honest most men (i've found) don't appreciate and think its off-putting....generally like the man to take initiative...and I think men should respect that fact. I WILL NOT PAY ON THE FIRST DATE , I WILL NOT CALL YOU FIRST , I WILL NOT STALK YOU ....I think with some men if they see "too much" initiative I think it stops them from even wanting to try after a while to be honest (since they know they don't have to, you always will...)

 

[Bublin]

I just don't get it. I really don't.

ha ha - neither do I nor anyone else i tell about it. Trying to make sense of it is a waste of time. I guess he could be hurt and all alone in gutter somewhere.......

 

[MzLady78]

Hmmmm....
I'd say no more than 3 or 4 days...
-Generally its believed people who call the night of or the next night are "desperate"
-Its also believed that if you call on night two you're "obviously interested"
(which you'd never want a woman to know that....right?)
-Night three and four are better for most men cos it makes them sweat it out a little bit (is he going to call me/ is he not going to call me?) and builds anticipation

A week and half is ignorant, negligent, and is unreasonable especially if he showed definite interest and does in fact your number. I'd say screw it too (although I think the only lingering question is if he lost your number or not? Thats happened to me before and I didn't call cos I lost it...)- If he does still call, gauge how he sounds on the phone and see if he sounds genuinely sorry. I'd forgive and forget if he sounded like it was an honest mistake.

I watched him store it in his phone.

It really doesn't even matter at this point. I definitely think it would've taken him less than a week to call if he was really interested and now we're going on two.

 

[foxxymami]

Sometimes I think of men as such confusing creatures but then I realize all I have to do is let his actions speak for themselves and sooner rather than later they'll prove that he just wasn't all that into me.

True story. This guy and I were flirting all summer in summer session during college. He finally asks to take me out to the movies. The night of, he calls me and says he's still coming to pick me up but because he has family in town, he'd be running late. I told him that since he had family in town, I wold understand if he wanted to postpone for another day. He says "Heck no! We all had family time earlier." I say OK. He picks me at 7:30pm, and on the ride to the movie theater we're talking and getting to know each other. He asked me if I was from a different city because I wasn't like the females he was used to meeting. We pull up into the theater parking lot when he circles around then says, ya know what let's go to a coffee shop...I want to get to know you better. In my head I'm like " :scratchch" but I say OK. Tell me why next thing I know we're pulling up into my driveway. I say to him "I thought you suggested going to a coffee shop". His response, "Oh well I wanted to but it's gotten late and I'm thinking how early I have to get up for work in the morning." I look at the clock, it was all of 8:02pm.erplexed I roll my eyes and tell him later! .

So errrm yeah, he was just not all that into me. At first I was trying to figure out what that was about but my the next day I was over it. I'm just mad I put all that effort into getting dressed from head to toe only to be dropped back off at home 30 minutes later

 

[meia]

I watched him store it in his phone.

It really doesn't even matter at this point. I definitely think it would've taken him less than a week to call if he was really interested and now we're going on two.

What an a**....
Who just stores someone's number like that and DOESN'T call besides an a**?
Here's to hoping he'll see you in there SOON grin looking your beautiful self with a gorgeous, sexy, intelligent man and he'll quickly recount all of his actions and kick himself! I live for those moments....