loolalooh
Well-Known Member
DEFINITELY WORTH THE READ FOR THOSE WANTING TO RECOGNIZE A GODLY HUSBAND-TO-BE:
From Urbanbushbabes - http://urbanbushbabes.com/2013/09/h...w-if-hes-marriage-material-finding-your-boaz/
From Urbanbushbabes - http://urbanbushbabes.com/2013/09/h...w-if-hes-marriage-material-finding-your-boaz/
I receive many emails and I am frequently asked these three questions: How did you know Carl was the one? How do you maintain a healthy relationship? How do you know if he is marriage material? So I wanted to share some of my own personal experience along with a great Biblical based article I found about how to find your Boaz. It’s quite long so bare with me please .
I grew up with dysfunctional relationships all around me and never saw what a healthy one looked like. So my compass for being in a healthy relationship was way off and I was actually not attracted to anything that was healthy. My major relationships were always unhealthy and dysfunctional and I was tired of going around the same mountain. I came to the end of myself and realized this tough woman I thought I was because I fought back whenever I was disrespected by my man, was just delusional and needed healing. I needed a new perspective on how I looked at relationships. I knew I couldn’t look to myself, T.V., movies, books, or a person’s opinions. Everything was too all over the place, everyone had a different perception and different standards at which they would put up with something or not put up with something. I heard everything from: “all men cheat, no one’s perfect, I see his potential, no one can define love because everyone’s definition is different, people change, he’s my soulmate”, I heard it all and I’ve said many of them myself. I asked myself would I want my son to be like any of the men who were my boyfriends? And the answer smacked me in the face like a ton of bricks! No…! I don’t ever want Jaden smoking weed, drinking, hanging in the clubs/lounges, talking to a bunch of women. I want Jaden to be disciplined in areas of life like attending church, reading the Bible, going to school, career, money, health, etc. I want him to know how to communicate in a healthy and loving way, I want him to get help when he needs it. I don’t want him to think it’s ever ok to put his hands on a woman, or curse at her, or put her down, even if she attacks him first. I don’t want him to think cheating is ok, and that looking at or treating women like sexual objects instead of living souls is ok. I want him to take responsibility for all his actions and not to make excuses. I want Jaden to know that he has to answer to God for whatever choices he makes. I knew the person God had for me wouldn’t just be potential. He would already be the man I would want Jaden to be like. Potential is the worst thing to hold onto with a person because it’s a picture we paint ourselves. It has our skewed view because we paint the person as another version of what we want them to be. But the truth is the person in front of you is who they really are and that future potential doesn’t exist. We have to be willing to accept them for who they are today. So how is anyone suppose to know what true love is? What is it suppose to look like? What makes a guy marriage material? Why would God leave us with no definition, no model to look at? That’s when I surrendered, I admitted that my feelings had failed me, that I had no idea what real healthy love looked like. I prayed, and I cried, and I prayed more. And God told me, to stop looking to other people and to myself for answers and pointed me to this verse in His Word… The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?(Jeremiah 17:9 (KJV)