Aggie, this is the second time today that I posted directly under you. Hmmmm...interesting.
I do pray that you find what you need on this board and that the Lord is guiding you very clearly.
I have a story. Can I share?:bouncegre
I became a single parent in 1997, and left my daughter's father. It was so hard because I CHOSE to be single instead of just marrying him or trying to work it out when the relationship had been so bad for me in every area. When I left him, I prayed that God would bring the man HE had designed for me into my life. It took some time for me to learn to submit to the Lord, but finally, in 2001, I stopped dating and stayed single. I asked the Lord to lock up my heart until my husband came and unlocked it again. I did not want to have ANY emotional encounters again until the man God chose for me came for me.
By 2001, I had a few male friends, all of whom were platonic, and all of whom helped me to learn how to interact with a man. One was my dh, and I could not STAND him!!! He was silly, younger than me, shorter than me, and he had pimples, and he was COUNTREEEEE!!! But...he was my closest male friend. As a matter of fact, he told me 3 weeks after meeting me in 1999 that he believed that the Lord had told him I was his wife. I did not agree then or later.
We both moved on in our personal lives, dating other people, and he was a military man deployed to Korea. In 2004, I moved back home and he was just back from Korea. We picked up where we left off the last time I had hung out with him, going to movies, hanging out...and I did not like him at all...didn't even think of it. By then, he was just my brother in the Lord. But...one night, we came back to the house, and started talking about the Word. We never really did that because...well, I just didn't feel like having a bunch of religious discussions with men. Most of the men I knew felt intimidated by a woman who studies and has something to say and actually understands what she is talking about. Well...this man and I had a long conversation, laughed and talked and then at the end of the conversation, I realized that he had taught me a few things without even coming across as a teacher. He just did it and I naturally received. I felt kind of funny the rest of the night...and when he got home, he called to ask me if I would consider courting him. I told him no. I was not attracted.
After praying for a while (3 weeks), I realized that I had just gotten accustomed to saying, "No," to a man. I didn't even pray about whether or not a man could be my husband. So...I prayed, and (I know this is over the top, but the ord had to do this for me) one night while I was working out to CeCe Winans' song "Without Love," the Lord laid me out in the floor, crying and weeping. I knew in my heart that this man was to be my husband. This was December 2004. I think God moved that powerfully because He knew what was coming and how much faith I would need.
Here is the reason this post is so long. January 2005, he went to Afghanistan. June 2005, I met his family. Our wedding date was set for December 2005. In mid-June 2005, he broke up with me and began to date another woman....in our church!!! In August 2005, he left for Britain.
For an entire year, I felt like I had lost my entire heart. But God taught me so much about rejection and acceptance, and what real friendship looks like. I did NOT refuse his calls when he wanted to talk. I allowed him to be broken and scared of commitment, and I held onto what I believed the Lord had told me. I always prayed, "Lord, I believe ____ is my husband, and if he is, then I also believe You will bring him back to me; however, if I am wrong, I trust You NO MATTER WHAT! I can be wrong, and I will let you correct me. I thank you for my engagement and my marriage to the man You have chosen for me."
EVERYONE thought I was crazy. They also thought he was crazy...but he was just a man who had never been in a real relationship, and more than he needed a wife, he first needed a friend...and I am probably the only one who would have put up with all the mess we went through just to walk with him for the rest of our lives here on earth, Lord willing.
So....it took me 5 years to know...and one additional year to see it come to pass. I never let go of him in my heart when we were apart...and just when I when I did consider opening myself to the possibility that he was not the one, God beat him down and brought him back.
In June 2006, we got back together, and we married October 27, 2006 when he came home for a surprise visit.
If God can get us through all of that, He can do the same for you...hopefully, with a lot less drama, though. lol
It's ALL PEACE now...and while I can recall some details, I recall NONE of the heartache. We have a blissful marriage.
www.myspace.com/christibradford (look at our pics if you have time.)
(Sorry so long!)
Blessings,
Christi J.