How have you and/or dh changed since marriage?

[Glib Gurl]

I love this one episode of "Mad About You" where the wife, Jamie (Helen Hunt), complains to the husband that he stopped doing something (don't remember what!) he used to do before they get married. His response? "Well, I was wooing you."

"And now?"

"Now I got ya."



What things did you used to do that you no longer do? What about dh? Also, what new things do you do now that you're married that you didn't do before?

 

[Tinky]

I am interested in hearing some responses so I can see what I am in for when I get married next year.

 

[Glib Gurl]

BUMPING!

 

[Starian]

We are still relatively young (23 this year) and have only been married for a year. We're still learning, actually.

So far we've learned that we have to pick our battles. Him leaving socks on the floor when the washroom is .5mm away is annoying, but is it worth an argument? Not really. Now him leaving trash in the house for 5 days when he CLEARLY sees it when he leaves for work and comes back? And that's the ONLY chore he has? Yeah, he got cussed out for that. No excuses, I don't ask him to do a lot.

He's a gamer, and he's realizing that hanging out playing Tekken and Street Fighter till 5AM 4 nights out of the week is inconsiderate when you have a wife at home. We are adults now, life no longer revolves around games. You have responsibility. He's getting better.

I'm learning that the world does not revolve around my needs. I'm sensitive and easily hurt, and I tend to be myopic when it comes to my faults. I do portray him as a bad guy sometimes, when I also have my faults.

He has struggled with verbal abuse, I have struggled with ignoring improper advances from another man during a period I was furious with him and felt neglected. Your baggage cannot come with you in a marriage. We have talked and been counseled, nearly divorced twice, but we are here.

I did not grow up in a household where outward displays of affection were shown. I tend to be generally unromantic, despise being touched, and I don't like kissing. He touches too much and it makes me uncomfortable. I am more sexual where he is more romantic. We had to work on that.

I do love my husband. I know he loves me. We are young but we are trying. Through both of our faults I'm realizing that deep down we really are the only people who will put up with each other's ****.

And really, isn't that all you need? A partner who is there in spite of everything?

 

[carcajada]

1) We are hermits now. Even when we were engaged and living together, we went out to lots of black tie events city/state wide and gatherings. Now we're just...home bodies.

2) We don't take as many risks as we did before. (finacially and otherwise)

3) We enjoy 'old folks' stuff A LOT more. We love going to buy patio furniture, plants/grass/flowers, spending time in the yard chilling on our laptops..etc.

4) His sex drive increased as mine decreased - probably due to all the things I have to do and the fewer things he has to do plus a better flexible job he got. He has more time to think about it and plot against my goodies.

We still surprise each other with gifts and gestures. We still call each other during the day at work and joke around like we have no sense. None of that changed.

 

[Charlotte]

Very, very good topic... Unfortunatly I don't have much to contribute as I am not yet married.......

Where are all da married ladies at????

 

[Ms. Plain Jane]

This is a really good topic... Maybe you should post this in OT.

 

[Ms Red]

Bump!! More posts, please!!

 

[carcajada]

This is a really good topic... Maybe you should post this in OT.

That didn't go too well.

 

[jamiss]

I've been married for almost 7 years (5-09-08). We loved each other very much when we got married, but we were so immature that we argued a lot. He liked to yell, and I liked to pout and threaten to go home to my parents. It did not help that when we met he was stationed in my hometown for the army, and soon after we married we moved far from my home. I had a child from a previous relationship who was ready to start school, and I swear she adjusted to the move better than I did!

Now he doesn't yell, I don't pout, we seldom argue about anything, our bond is stronger than ever! We have definitely grown and matured so much.

 

[20Pearls_Girl]

Here's what I said in the other thread....

These are not my experience per se, but some have experienced

more cooking (if the SO likes that)

more eating out (my cousin and his wife go out a lot - she was a country bumpkin prior to their marriage)

Cousin's wife - she's a house wife now and so is my uncle's wife (both women worked @ first).

Lots of folx both men and women experience weight gain .... from getting "too comfortable".

Wild sex lives (swinging or swaping - heard about a lot of this when I moved to Atlanta )

Sports fans

Interest in pursuing an education or higher ed

Interest in various hobbies or spirituality

 

[PinkPeony]

This sounds really wierd but I started to become comfortable with myself,my body and see myself as pretty.
I think it has to do with being loved for who you are.

I've also become more relaxed,DH is sooo different then me and even tough I'm a pretty laid back person already being with him taught me to be more leaned back about certain things.

We both influenced each other,he's a neatfreak and I helped him loosen up and I'm getting more organized thx to him.

 

[MissScarlett]

I'll be married nine years this May I've changed alot. I got married at 23.

I'm alot more comfortable in myself and my thoughts, my opinions and my needs and wants. When I was younger, I was controlled by my parents, then stepped into a married to someone who is several years older than me. Dh didnt control me but that age difference did impact my thoughts on alot of things, I'm much more comfortable with who I am now

I don't get twisted about small things, little things used to set me off but now I just go with the flow, I know what the big picture is.

We are closer. If you think you are in love when you first get married, that friendship and love deepens..its hard to describe...it just gets better and better.

We eat out less, eat in more. Our activities are family based, around our kids, holidays. When I first met dh he didn't have ONE family tradition when he was growing up, now he is the one that asks me about what we're doing for X holiday...he looks forward to it and expects it.

I feel younger than I did 9 years ago.

 

[Ms. Plain Jane]

That didn't go too well.

I know. I was there. Check the time stamps

 

[Ms. Plain Jane]

I'll be married nine years this May I've changed alot. I got married at 23.

I'm alot more comfortable in myself and my thoughts, my opinions and my needs and wants. When I was younger, I was controlled by my parents, then stepped into a married to someone who is several years older than me. Dh didnt control me but that age difference did impact my thoughts on alot of things, I'm much more comfortable with who I am now

I don't get twisted about small things, little things used to set me off but now I just go with the flow, I know what the big picture is.

We are closer. If you think you are in love when you first get married, that friendship and love deepens..its hard to describe...it just gets better and better.

We eat out less, eat in more. Our activities are family based, around our kids, holidays. When I first met dh he didn't have ONE family tradition when he was growing up, now he is the one that asks me about what we're doing for X holiday...he looks forward to it and expects it.

I feel younger than I did 9 years ago.

This is heart warming, especially the bolded.