How have family and friends reacted to you?

[LavenderDutchess]

Well, when I first started my hair quest, nobody really paid any attention to my hair or what I was doing, except to say "Oh, well thats nice...have fun" or "UGH...I would never go with out a relaxer, but to each his own!!"

BUT.....
Now that people are seeing results, I am starting to get really strong reactions from people, ranging from sweet "Wow, your hair is so pretty" to mean "SOMEONE thinks they are white today" and "You really need to quit trying to act like all that mess looks cute"


My hair isnt even that long( a bit above shoulder), so I can only imagine that people will have more and more to say once I get it to my goal length

So my question to everyone is how have your family and friends reacted to your hair....and if it has been negatively, how do you deal??

 

[Ennyaa]

Well at first I kept it kind of a secret. Then when my sister found out she was like. "I don't have time for all that." Then when she saw my growth she was like. "Wow your hair is growing, take me to the beauty supply to shop with you. But I STILL don't have time to do all that." Then just the other night she actually got mad at me because she tried to make me go to the doctor about the supplements I'm taking and I said I wasn't worried." If I've been taking them since like October with NO problem get off my case. I know my body. I'm still not exactly sure what she was trying to prove there.

Bottom line she likes ths results but doesn't want to invest the time to get them. *shrug* I just help her where I can and go about my routine as I see fit.

 

[sassygirl125]

That's too bad. I'm kind of in the same situation. With the exception of a few people, everyone who knows I'm transitioning to natural hair thinks I'm crazy. They all believe that unless your curl pattern is type 3 or looser that you "need a perm".

I deal with it by not talking about hair with them anymore. It's funny--they are usually the ones to bring it up by saying something like, "What did you buy at the bss this time?" or "Did you get a perm yet?"

And one of them has a jheri curl! Not a nice one, either--the old greasy, drippy, Souuuul Gloooo! type curl!

I don't bite. I just sit there and think to myself, "When my hair is looking good, I'm going to make them pay for my advice."

"What conditioner is good for shedding hair? Hmmm...

Make me some banana pudding and we'll talk."

 

[Country gal]

I learned to not tell me about my hair quest. Especially my family. They jsut don't understand. My grandmother thinks I am taking diet pills which I allow her to think. She doesn't realize I take vitamins for health and hair reasons. My grandmother thinks I wash my hair too often. She always uses my aunt as an example on why I should wash my hair every two weeks. My aunt hair falls below her shoulders.

 

[SweetNic_JA]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
"SOMEONE thinks they are white today"

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm so tired of these comments. it seems like ignant people think that only white people can have long hair. There are plenty other races that commonly have long hair. I never hear someone say, "ughh, she thinks she's Indian" or "ugghh, she's trying to be Asian" and they never once stop to think that there are plenty of black people with long hair. Why are white people the only ones associated with good things? I am TIRED OF IT!!!


and yeah,

congratulations on your progress

 

[HoneyRockette]

I don't want anyone to know. Only one of my friends know about my obsession and he found out by accident, (and he makes fun of me

). You should see me at work. I damn near dive in front of the screen anytime someone walks by to prevent them from looking. I am just so ashamed to admit that I spend this much time on something so superficial. I'm not saying that hair is superficial, but my friends would never understand. Most non-blacks don't get the big idea with us and our hair. I would feel weird. My family would think it is a waste of time. So far, it has been so I definitely don't want them to know. They would throw it in my face too often like "Gee I don't see your hair getting any longer."I don't want to tell anyone that I am doing anything to make my hair healthier. I just want them to notice one day. Then I can play it off like I didn't do anything special at all.

 

[NYCchild]

SweetNic you done said it. im tired of that too and my hair isnt even long, just at shoulder.
No one even paid any attention till it started to look healthy and was growing, then it was like - "What yu doing? huh well dont keep it to yaself". You know i'll be like - "Lata for ya'll"!

so call me white, showoff or whateva. Its my time and money so - whats da problem?

 

[elite_chiq]

To cut along story short. My fam THINK im insane, because 4a/b's "cannot grow long hair"

watch when im walking around with long mid-back hair. Ima love to here what there comments are then

 

[Faith]

My family doesn't really say anything. They ask for advice when it suits them....they listen to what they want to hear and ignore the rest..which is cool...I do that sometimes on other matters. My sis doesn't say anything but I know I sense an eye rolling

My mom thinks I spend lots of time on my hair boards but oh well

I fulfill my daily responsiblities so I'm not hurting anybody

They think my washing my hair 1x/week is too "white". But guess what they will be soooo shocked when they see my hair in July, noone has really seen it straightened properly..I haven't..

(it'll be past bra strap....I can't wait to see their faces

). And all I'll say is well, I speak but noone listens...so what can I tell you.

 

[sweetcocoa]

They used to tease me....till they saw how fast my hair is growing. I'll wear it natural for a while then about once a month I show up to work after doing a doobie...and they are like wow...you hair is growing so fast.

 

[ny2atl]

I guess you have to treat your family and friends like your hair stylist... Tell them on a need to know basis. You can tell if someone is going to be receptive based on their initial interest. Proceed from there.

 

[JenJen2721]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
sassygirl125 said:

"What conditioner is good for shedding hair? Hmmm...

Make me some banana pudding and we'll talk."

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL! Sassygirl you are cracking me up!

 

[butterfly7]

Well, I found out about this board from an ex coworker and now friend of mine that was trying to keep her hair quest on the d/l. She was afraid to tell me because of what I might think, but her hair is beautiful and I would always ask her a million questions. One day she brought me a bag full of products and then she spilled her guts. I love her for it! I am now keeping it a secret from most people. I told my mom and she was like... Yeah, whatever. Until she braided my hair last friday, that is. Now she is all over it! She made me write down everything I am doing. She keeps saying how thick and healthy it is. (She and I generally have fine, limp, weak hair) My sister and my neice have witnessed my regimen, but they just look at me like I am crazy and keep going. Other people comment on my ponytail and tell me I need to take it down so my hair can breath and stuff like that. I can tell a lot of people think I have lost my mind because I usually have my hair down and this ponytail thing is killin' 'em. I too make a mad dash to minimize my screen when someone walks into my office at work, but a couple of people sort of have an idea that I am reading "stuff about hair", but they have no idea the depth. I am just going to keep my mouth shut and like HR said, when I finally take down my braids or ponytail or whatever and they are like Whoa, I will act like I didn't do anything special. It really gets to me that people don't think we can have long hair. Just wait.

 

[LavenderDutchess]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
SweetNic_JA said:
</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
"SOMEONE thinks they are white today"

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm so tired of these comments. it seems like ignant people think that only white people can have long hair. There are plenty other races that commonly have long hair. I never hear someone say, "ughh, she thinks she's Indian" or "ugghh, she's trying to be Asian" and they never once stop to think that there are plenty of black people with long hair. Why are white people the only ones associated with good things? I am TIRED OF IT!!!


and yeah,

congratulations on your progress

[/ QUOTE ]

I feel you on that!
Black women CAN and DO have long hair(all people need to see the ladies on this board)Long hair isnt some exclusive, untouchable realm!
Good mentioning of other races too

AWW, thanks so much...and happy progress to you!

 

[LavenderDutchess]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
sassygirl125 said:


And one of them has a jheri curl! Not a nice one, either--the old greasy, drippy, Souuuul Gloooo! type curl!

[/ QUOTE ]

Thats what gets me!!
The people who have the most evil comments, are the ones who need to get to these boards PRONTO...because their hair needs some TLC!

 

[legs71]

when I first began my hair regimen with the excessive washing and the vitamins my mother kept telling me I was taking too many things and I need to be careful. Well, when she hot combed my hair for me and witnessed how long and thick it had gotten she jumped on the bandwagon and guess what! She's now a faithful vitamin taker and has me ordering L'anza products for her hair. Otherwise, I keep my obsession to myself so that when the braids are gone maybe I'll let people in on my "ancient chinese secret".

 

[Laela]

Oh, Lavenderdutchess, they're just exhibiting some jealousy.. it's something I see only as complimentary!

 

[jada1111]

I only talk about hair and the products I use to people on the boards. You are the only people who "understand" the need for healthy beautiful, long hair. Sometimes I'll slip up and talk about hairtypes (3b,4a, etc.) and people give me this wide-eyed look and ask me "what do you mean by 4a?", then I have to change the subject, because it's too long to go into. All of my friends and family are happy using the products they've been using.

When I was transitioning, I had my junkie status under control, but now that I'm fully natural, I'm on the quest to find products that will give me curl definition and not make my hair feel or look dry for wash-n-go.

 

[adrienne0914]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
ny2atl said:
I guess you have to treat your family and friends like your hair stylist... Tell them on a need to know basis. You can tell if someone is going to be receptive based on their initial interest. Proceed from there.

[/ QUOTE ]
that is EXACTLY right! i'll say some of my more unusual tips (usually the baggie trick) and see the response. if they laugh, i don't elaborate. if their ears perk up, i might go into detail. most of the time, i don't even waste my breath though. now that i've seen alot of results, everyone wants to know what i'm doing... over and over again... but i'll see them a couple of months later, and they're still abusing their hair.

i don't have time for that sh*t!

 

[happylocks]

I enjoy taking the time to be with my hair,

, I want it too look its best, I am tried of seeing poor haired look AfroA.

, dry, jellyed, bad ends, fake hair:The fake hair, hurts me the most, cause they are not taking care of their really hair

oo:, They are leting it sit there, and trying so hard to have long beautiful hair but let that go to waste

, I hate to see them trying to hold on the that damage hair, just cut and start over, plz

, My sister is give me and this board a hard time, she see that I am here and wants to know why all these ppl want to grow long hair," If Black ppl were meant to have long hair, they would have it", I made a comment about her weave

, which was long by the way

que?, I really dont care, I will have my long hair, ppl will love it and be envious and life will go on

, "get off Me"

 

[Paris Belle]

I've always been into hair care, but I must say that I'm much better at it now. I am seeing results I haven't seen in such a long time...It's really a miracle...

My mother has always thought I was obssessed and that I could focus my energy on other things. Although long hair "runs in the family" their textures are a little different from mine: 1/2/3a..I guess she felt that it was impossible for me to get it waistlength again (it was when I was a little girl).

Friends think I'm obssessed and since they believe that their hair can't grow, then I must be crazy too. Some have even made snide remarks that there were girls with longer hair than mine..And I'm like "duh! why do you think that I know I can grow my hair out..!!" But yet and still, when they see the hair flowing looking good and healthy..They're like this:

It is quite hysterical..

Now, my mother is getting into it. She's starting to understand since she's seen my hair grow fast and without having to cut off a lot during trims. She started taking my advice, the board's advice, and her hair is looking and feeling great. The other day, she saw me from the back in the supermarket and didn't think it was me because she couldn't believe my hair "was growing that long!!"

She doesn't understand the PJism though...

But, now I'm starting to keep it to myself...Let them see the length and then if they're interested, so be it..I also no longer worry about others not thinking our hair can grow long..Screw em all!!

 

[Lucia]

Well one of my cousins "found me out" cause I was checking the boards and she saw. She had below BS length hair, mine just below shoulder. She said I was crazy obssesed

with my hair but in a joking way.
Later when I reached BS guess who came a calling

asking me what to use and can I take her to the beauty suppply and Indian store with me

Well now her hair is nearly at waist, I guess I'm not crazy anymore , I'm laughing all the way to waist length

 

[Brownie]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
SweetNic_JA said:
</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
"SOMEONE thinks they are white today"

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm so tired of these comments. it seems like ignant people think that only white people can have long hair. There are plenty other races that commonly have long hair. I never hear someone say, "ughh, she thinks she's Indian" or "ugghh, she's trying to be Asian" and they never once stop to think that there are plenty of black people with long hair. Why are white people the only ones associated with good things? I am TIRED OF IT!!!


and yeah,

congratulations on your progress

[/ QUOTE ]

Amen and ditto to the above comment. As for me, with the exeption of my husband, my family doesn't know how long my hair is yet. The last time I got a touch up, I had it blow dried and lightly flat ironed. My hair goes a little past the top of my arm-pit. The last time my family saw my hair down (Thanksgiving) my hair was maybe at the round part of my shoulder. I got a touch up 5 weeks ago, so I don't know how long it is now because it shrinks a lot, but I won't be wearing my hair down until X-mas, and I know there will be a lot of dropped jaws and questions. I can't wait!!!!!!!!But I don't think I'll tell any of my secrets because I don't think the women in my family will listen anyway. So what's the use? They only wash their natural/pressed hair every 2 weeks; they don't like vitamins too much; they like to plaster their scalps with grease; they like to sleep on cotton pillow cases and they love using hot combs. They think relaxers will make your hair fall out, but they don't realize that constant heat on natural hair can and will cause it to break.

 

[Lucia]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
adrienne0914 said:
</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
ny2atl said:
I guess you have to treat your family and friends like your hair stylist... Tell them on a need to know basis. You can tell if someone is going to be receptive based on their initial interest. Proceed from there.

[/ QUOTE ]
that is EXACTLY right! i'll say some of my more unusual tips (usually the baggie trick) and see the response. if they laugh, i don't elaborate. if their ears perk up, i might go into detail. most of the time, i don't even waste my breath though. now that i've seen alot of results, everyone wants to know what i'm doing... over and over again... but i'll see them a couple of months later, and they're still abusing their hair.

i don't have time for that sh*t!

[/ QUOTE ]

you're so right

 

[Daughter]

Sorry to hear so many of you had such negative responses, especially from family

Thankfully my family have been ok or neutral at worst about my hair, especially since I went natural. I get questions about how I look after it, even before I really stared to care for my hair! Some did threaten to slap a relaxer in my hair in my sleep. But then they knew revenge would take place

No one knows about my taking MSM, but then that's something I don't think I'll bother mentioning unless I think they're gonna actually listen to the advice they ask for.

 

[RabiaElaine]

When I started my hair journey last summer, my family thought I was crazy taking all those vitamins. My aunt who is a nurse said that she didn't think it was healthy to take all those supplements. They have always called me a product junkie and still do. My mother says, "I can't even afford a conditioner that costs $30."
Unfortunately, I fell off of the haircare and vitamin wagon last october

But, I'm back on again, and this time I'm not getting off

The one person that is really supportive is my boyfriend. He is happy that I want to really grow my hair. He said he didn't understand why I never thought of doing it before. So he knows about the hair boards and my vitamins.
I'm probably not going to really tell people what I'm doing this time. As soon as I get back to the New York (May 9, I can't wait) I'm going right out to get me some more vitamins, that I have learned about from you wonderful ladies

.
Don't worry about what other people think, just let them marvel later

 

[LavenderDutchess]

See, I should have known I wasnt the only one!
Thank you, every single one of you for sharing your stories, making me laugh and giving advice...I apprieciate it!!!

Its really nice to know that I am not the only person who has such an intense love for healthy hair!

 

[happylocks]

I think the supplements are what get my family the most now that I am working and spending my money on more vit and I am some what of a PJ, but now they can see more improvement in my hair, and I hope with my Amino acids they will see more growth , by next year, I just need to find the right protective style to wear, Friends think I am crazy throught I only let one of them know, I am not telling the rest since they dont any problems growing and cutting thier hair, They all have long hair or have no problem growing it back

 

[Leshia]

[ QUOTE ]
LavenderDutchess said:

Well, when I first started my hair quest, nobody really paid any attention to my hair or what I was doing, except to say "Oh, well thats nice...have fun" or "UGH...I would never go with out a relaxer, but to each his own!!"

BUT.....
Now that people are seeing results, I am starting to get really strong reactions from people, ranging from sweet "Wow, your hair is so pretty" to mean "SOMEONE thinks they are white today" and "You really need to quit trying to act like all that mess looks cute"




[/ QUOTE ]

Gosh, women sure can be catty....that seems a bit uncalled for...

 

[jainygirl]

My mom is so happy i'm letting my hair grow. In my family i've always been known for "my hair" because when i was younger it was long,thick and pretty. I'm 4a/b what alot of ppl are brainwashed to think is "bad hair". But fortunately my family knows (aunt's uncles and cousins) that"good hair" is healthy hair. My hair was only a little over my shoulders last Mardi Gras when i went home to visit and my uncle was like,"there goes(myname)with all that pretty hair" They make me feel really nice about myself. Even when i cut it short, they would make comments like,"(myname)can cut her hair like that because it grows back so fast" They always say things like"girl you will never be bald" and "she gets all that hair from her daddy" I can't wait to go home to show my grandma my hair since i've actually started growing it. She will be so happy

I like it better longer too, but i have to admit, i do like the additional comments from my family