How have family and friends reacted to you?

[brittanynic16]

I have a friend and she is natural but her hair is dry and so it does not grow well. She has the nerve to complain about it and then she asks my why I am taking so many suppliments. When my hair is blowing in the wind then she will understand.

 

[sabie19]

my cousins think I'm crazy. My mom and dad support me. Since I am only 15 they are the ones that buy my suplements and hair products. My mom is proud of me for taking care of my hair because one year ago I could care less about my hair but my mom still tryed to fix up my damaged hair. I love her for that.

 

[katie]

My mom doesn't know of this board but she is really positive about everything I am doing since she is seeing the results.
My sister kept giving me the white girl comments but she recently called me about recs to help get her hair on track.

My boyfriend is completely supportive.Last night I was testing him and pretended I wasn't going to sleep in my scarf and he got soo worried and was begging me to wear it.He was like"But what if your hair breaks off in the night!"

 

[asummertyme]

when i get to see my mom, she is very supportive, and is happy my hair is growing and my boy friend is loving it...he really loves to see my progress, and gives me raves, but my older sister is hating hard!!she is actually getting on my nerves, she keeps telling me" take it from someone who had long hair, it's not all it is cracked up to be", i just ignore her, and she also says , those people on those hair boards are crazy, they are obsessed, we cant do those type of things to our hair...she is a former member of the black hair super growout...so when she says that, i say to her, well we may be crazy but these are the same crazy women wih some of the healhiest and longest hair i have ever seen on AA women, so they must be doing somehing right...she used to have inbetween shoulder length hair, and her hair was bla k and thick, but due to dying it blond in the summer and neglect, it all fell out, it is growing back but she flat irons her hair everyday, and does not even cover her hair at night, it looks pretty good for someone who doesnt cover her head at night..i wonder how she does that? but anyways, i hate talkin to her about hair, b/c she satrs getting that hater type attitude and gets on my nerves with her negative comments...

 

[keke]

I dont say too much to people either, though a few folx i have talked to about this board and hair period have been very well receptive(sp). So far i've linked 2 people to this board, one has joined, the other i dunno. One of the 3 i told the baggy technique about and she got soo excited she was really wanting something for her hair on the ends, i havent checked w/her about it but im going to try 2 remember to ask her and c. I dont say much to folx cause of exactly what u all are talkin about. I'd rather let my hair actions talk for me and when they ask i'll tell them and if they think that my regimen of washing every week and moisturizing it as i have been doing is only JUST for me, then i'll direct them to this board and a few others and more importantly show them pics of some of yall who are FULLY black w/LONG hair. Then they'll c

 

[keke]

and also my hair hasn't been in a pressed/permed out, down look since early april. later on in that month i found out this board and have been gettin my hair done in cornrows, styling my own hair in bantu knot outs and when permed out i put it in an updo and now i have it in a bun(im doing that lil challenge) w/a piece on it till im ready to have it pressed all out to really show length. maaan i am SO happy at the length i got from those braids, beautiful. I plan on maybe gettin them again next month or so.

 

[Allandra]

My family and friends seem to be more 'amazed' with my hair than I am (guess cause I don't wear it down often). Howver, they're cool about it though. Besides, they don't know anything about me visiting web sites like this.

 

[ms_kenesha]

[ QUOTE ]
asummertyme said:
when i get to see my mom, she is very supportive, and is happy my hair is growing and my boy friend is loving it...he really loves to see my progress, and gives me raves, but my older sister is hating hard!!she is actually getting on my nerves, she keeps telling me" take it from someone who had long hair, it's not all it is cracked up to be", i just ignore her, and she also says , those people on those hair boards are crazy, they are obsessed, we cant do those type of things to our hair...she is a former member of the black hair super growout...so when she says that, i say to her, well we may be crazy but these are the same crazy women wih some of the healhiest and longest hair i have ever seen on AA women, so they must be doing somehing right...she used to have inbetween shoulder length hair, and her hair was bla k and thick, but due to dying it blond in the summer and neglect, it all fell out, it is growing back but she flat irons her hair everyday, and does not even cover her hair at night, it looks pretty good for someone who doesnt cover her head at night..i wonder how she does that? but anyways, i hate talkin to her about hair, b/c she satrs getting that hater type attitude and gets on my nerves with her negative comments...

[/ QUOTE ]

Your sister is tripping, esp. if she is a former member of BHSGO to just turn around like this makes it seem like she is seriously hating. And to say " take it from someone who had long hair, it's not all it is cracked up to be", just sounds like she wants to be the only one with long hair (or that had long hair). Keep your head up and your hair growing the proof is most definitely in the pudding. I used to get "trying to be white" comments and hate as well, but since my hair has been growing so well and becoming so healthy I get ZILCH in negative comments! I am glad that my fiance is supportive, I've got my best friend to join the board and my other close friend is very encouraging as well and doesn't think I'm crazy for talking hair all the time!

 

[miss_brown]

I haven't really told any of my family or friends. Frankly, I just don't feel like explaining myself, and that's basically where such a conversation would lead. I just give advice when asked.

My boyfriend, however, is very supportive. He jokes me for spending all my time on "longhaircaredaretobareforum" (he can never remember the name exactly so he just makes stuff up

), but he always makes a conscious effort to remind me about wearing my scarf to bed, etc. He's so cute...

 

[Michelle79]

[ QUOTE ]
katie said:
My boyfriend is completely supportive.Last night I was testing him and pretended I wasn't going to sleep in my scarf and he got soo worried and was begging me to wear it.He was like"But what if your hair breaks off in the night!"

[/ QUOTE ]

Awwww....that is so sweet!

My friends truly don't get it. They wonder why in the heck would I spend $80 to get my hair relaxed. I try to explain to them that because my stylist is the reason that my hair is the healthiest that it has ever been & she has me out in less than 2 hours.

I would never tell them about this board or that I spend over $2.99 for most of my hair products.

It is so true about the people who make the most snide comments are the ones who need the most help. I don't think I have ever seen one of my friends hair w/o bonding glue.

 

[HotCoCoGurl130]

I dont even bother to talk to anyone about my hair unless they ask. People have always asked me what I have dont to have such thick hair and when I tell them they want the same results but are too lazy to do the work. I say if you want it so bad and will hate on a person so much then why dont you get off your butt and do the work. I dont even try no more. :-(

 

[WaterMoccasin]

[ QUOTE ]
HoneyRockette said:
I am just so ashamed to admit that I spend this much time on something so superficial. I'm not saying that hair is superficial, but my friends would never understand. Most non-blacks don't get the big idea with us and our hair. I would feel weird. My family would think it is a waste of time. So far, it has been so I definitely don't want them to know. They would throw it in my face too often like "Gee I don't see your hair getting any longer."I don't want to tell anyone that I am doing anything to make my hair healthier. I just want them to notice one day. Then I can play it off like I didn't do anything special at all.

[/ QUOTE ]

Girrl, I feel you on that one!!!
I haven't told a SOUl about my journey to longer hair. Only my boyfriend knows and it's because he's seen me on this site so often- he even knows it by name. And he knows about the supplements- he just doesn't know that they're all for hair. He always shakes his head at all my hair purchases. He doesn't appreciate my efforts now, but he sure will!!

As for friends/family, they knew about me going natural but they didn't have much time to comment/make me feel bad since I did the whole transition away at college. Only on summer/x-mas breaks when I went home, one of my cousins would always threaten to relax my hair while I was sleeping. But they all saw I was serious, didn't care about their opinions, an I went through with it and they have nothing to say about it.

Even one of my aunts who came up in May to my graduation, asked me if my hair was still natural (I had pressed my hair for the occasion), I told her yes, then she said how well my hair was growing, then said: "I guess you're not turning back now." I told her no.

The thing is, the vast majority of my family members have type 2 or 3 hair and have always or at some point had long hair, ranging from bra-strap to butt-length. I am one of the very few in the family who they have never seen with 'long' hair. It's always been shoulder-length, or a couple of inches past shoulder, never bra-strap or beyond. So you better believe I'm not telling my family I'm going for longer hair. The ridicule I would bring upon myself by doing that...

I once told my mom and a cousin of mine that I believed I could grow waist-length hair-goodness why did I say that... I believe my cousin is still laughing. She said that would take beyond 80 years if ever.
My mom was skeptical as well. So I never said anything about it again (this was about 4 years ago).

I just decided to consciously try to grow my hair in February of this year so...we'll see who's laughing in the end.
My lips are sealed until my hair speaks for itself!

 

[Aerie17]

My mother is thrilled and asks for advice about her hair. She has always hated it when I have had my hair cut. I wrote out a list of products and a regimen for her when she was here last week and she is going straight to Sally's and JCP to stock up! My friends, who never seem to gripe about hair care I have not said a word to and won't, unless they ask.

 

[Isis]

They don't really know yet, especially my family who doesn't see me that often. I'm just letting it happen, letting my hair grow as long and healthy as it wants to. If someone asks for assistance with their hair, I would be more than happy to give advice.

 

[MissMarie23]

My mother is receptive to the products and things that I have tried, and she's using some of those things on my little sisters (who are 9).

I haven't told most of my friends. My best friend (who is white, and just chopped off waist length hair) knows about my quest, and she is supportive, and encouraging.

I shared hair care boards with another friend, and she's growing her hair out, too.

Other people have noticed growth, but I haven't told them that I'm doing anything differently.

 

[26INCHHAIR]

I'm really starting to get compliments now. I roller set my hair and am 3.35 months post relaxer and I am still getting compliments. Even random people I dont kn ow would come up to me and ask if I had a weave and my hair wasnt that long only 16-17 inches from scalp to ends, but im really excited!!! I love you guys!!

 

[asummertyme]

[ QUOTE ]
ms_kenesha said:
[ QUOTE ]
asummertyme said:
when i get to see my mom, she is very supportive, and is happy my hair is growing and my boy friend is loving it...he really loves to see my progress, and gives me raves, but my older sister is hating hard!!she is actually getting on my nerves, she keeps telling me" take it from someone who had long hair, it's not all it is cracked up to be", i just ignore her, and she also says , those people on those hair boards are crazy, they are obsessed, we cant do those type of things to our hair...she is a former member of the black hair super growout...so when she says that, i say to her, well we may be crazy but these are the same crazy women wih some of the healhiest and longest hair i have ever seen on AA women, so they must be doing somehing right...she used to have inbetween shoulder length hair, and her hair was bla k and thick, but due to dying it blond in the summer and neglect, it all fell out, it is growing back but she flat irons her hair everyday, and does not even cover her hair at night, it looks pretty good for someone who doesnt cover her head at night..i wonder how she does that? but anyways, i hate talkin to her about hair, b/c she satrs getting that hater type attitude and gets on my nerves with her negative comments...

[/ QUOTE ]

Your sister is tripping, esp. if she is a former member of BHSGO to just turn around like this makes it seem like she is seriously hating. And to say " take it from someone who had long hair, it's not all it is cracked up to be", just sounds like she wants to be the only one with long hair (or that had long hair). Keep your head up and your hair growing the proof is most definitely in the pudding. I used to get "trying to be white" comments and hate as well, but since my hair has been growing so well and becoming so healthy I get ZILCH in negative comments! I am glad that my fiance is supportive, I've got my best friend to join the board and my other close friend is very encouraging as well and doesn't think I'm crazy for talking hair all the time!

[/ QUOTE ]
ms kenesha, i am sure she is hating, she doesnt want to see me with my hair long, no one in my family is used to seeing my with long hair, they are used o seeing me with weaves and braids, but like u said i just continue with my hair regimne and keep growing....that's her own personal problem....i just really talk to my younger sister who is growing her hair as well, so she asks me questions abouot what she can do...besides that i wont talk about it any more..
to much negative energy!!

 

[jainygirl]

When people ask my mom about my hair (they sure don't ask me

) she always tells them it's genes. She said she got tired of people asking herand then looking disgusted like she was lying when she would tell them that i wore wigs and cornrows for like a year and a half and let my hair rest. They would still be like, "But no what does she use???" like they wanted the name of the "miracle" product. She says alot of people are just lazy, just like when it comes to making money, everyone wants to be rich but not everyone wants to do what it takes.

 

[Nyambura]

My mom is so supportive! She has been since I gave her some advice I got about natural hair from one of the natural-haired sistahs over at Yahoo's Black Hair Care & Body board. Made a world of difference for her hair (is it did mine).

My husband, who is white, is really supportive too. He was even considering driving me up to where you are, Bahama Mama, just to get my hair cornrowed! (I think I can find someone down here, though

.) He's such a sweetie.

As for the frequent washing = white, I guess my immediate family was different because they washed their hair daily (they sported naturals). My hair was considerably longer and BUSHY!

so my hair washing was limited to weekly washings.

...or if Dad tried to do it (

), bi-weekly/monthly attempts at washings.

One of my friends knows and she teases me. :shrug: It's all in good fun.

Friends of the family or extended family have, in the past, asked "What do you need all that hair for?" At that point, I change the subject.

 

[WaterMoccasin]

[ QUOTE ]
Nyambura said:
My husband, who is white, is really supportive too. He was even considering driving me up to where you are, Bahama Mama, just to get my hair cornrowed! (I think I can find someone down here, though

.) He's such a sweetie.

[/ QUOTE ]

 

[cabogirl]

at first i didn't know anything about this board until i saw my sister check it out every day (she's a member as well).and i kept saying to her how silly she was for reading all of your posts

and change her hair regime until i started reading on this board and it all made sense so i joined.

up to a year ago,my hair was waist length but due to breakage

my hair is about 65 cm (i don't know how many inches that is since we don't use this term in europe) it's until my armpits.anyway, i hope to get my orignal length with all the great advice i can get on this board.

I was shocked

by the fact that a lot of you guys have mean (sorry if i offend someone by saying this) sisters.Sisters have to stick together even if it is about hair. I know that if it wasn't for my sister i would continue abusing my hair like i did ,she saved my hair!

Love ya sis

 

[candycane]

[ QUOTE ]
.Sisters have to stick together even if it is about hair.

[/ QUOTE ]

I like that quote!

Candycane

 

[DatJerseyDyme]

How have friends and family reacted to my hair, mostly they haven't, I always wear my hair up. Once when I took my hair down to moisturize it, my aunt commented on how it had grown. Over the summer, my sister (who has bra-strap length hair) always made sure to tell me how thin my hair is.

 

[soslychic]

[ QUOTE ]

I was shocked

by the fact that a lot of you guys have mean (sorry if i offend someone by saying this) sisters.Sisters have to stick together even if it is about hair. I know that if it wasn't for my sister i would continue abusing my hair like i did ,she saved my hair!

Love ya sis

[/ QUOTE ]

Aww, that's so cute

It's sounds like you all have a great relationship.

 

[ChocoKitty]

My mother said the funniest thing to me the other day. I was sitting at the kitchen counter with my hair down and she came over to touch it. After running her hands through it she said "Your hair it too soft!"--like it was a bad thing or somethin'! She was about to say "You flatironed it too hard!" but could not complete her sentence because of the look of shock on my face! Or maybe she realized what she said. I was about to defend my hair but then decided to bite my tounge. I don't think softness is a bad thing when it comes to hair! I don't think that she accustomed to my hair being this soft and moisturized.

 

[Marseeya]

Since being part of the forum, I have taken my vitamins FAITHFULLY and my brother, who's only visiting (though he thinks he's moving in) noticed the pill popping and said Dang, you addicted ..I said I take my biotin, msm, and amino acids twice a day, you just happen to see me ..morning and nite! Then once a month I blowdry and press, so he caught me after it was freshly pressed, and tugged at my hair pretty darn hard, asking IS THIS ALL YOUR HAIR.. after i shouted in pain and shock, I smiled and said yes, It's all MINE

 

[joemerald]

I am so glad this thread is here cause i was going to post on this topic. I went home to Barbados for a few days and I visted my sister. My hair was in a french roll and looking thick so she asked if it was allmine. I said yeas and proceeded to take it down and she was amazed. My hair has never been so long. She asked what I was putting in it to make it grow and I said it is a miracle product (LCHF) because she won't understand. We then turned tomy five month daughter's hair and she asked what type of hair she had and I responded that it should be manageable but in any case it didn't matter because I know how to take care of hair now. Sha said "Joanne, you didn't know how to take care of hair all the time". I said no. and she repeated it exactly (try a Bajan accent). Anyhow I did not continue but changed the subject because she just won't understand. Thanks to all of you ladies, I now know how to do hair.

 

[asummertyme]

i asked my boyfriend the other day, how would u feel about ne getting a short cut? and he said no way after all the attention you put into growing your hair???all the vitamins you take and the hours on your site...dont cut it you put so much effort into it....and i thought he did not pay attention...lol...men u gotta luv em!!
i wish i had that knida support from everyone but unfortunatly some people just get jelous, so i just will enjoy talking to my younger sister and her friend who also enjoy's hair care, and besisdes that keep it to myself....

 

[CocoaCure]

My parents are soooooo happy I'm growing it out long again and have a relaxer!!! They are so stuck in a time warp!! I thought I was going to have to call 911 when I cut ALL my hair off in 1998 and went totally natural!!! I was natural for 3 years and it grew well past my shoulders but never hit bra strap. I relaxed it and it took several relaxers and several trimmings/cuttings before I could even have a real relaxer again! Then they were freaking because I was cutting all that long natural hair off! I'm like, dang!!!! Why is it that my hair can spark so much emotion and reaction in other people - my parents! My brother doesn't care. He always has something positive to say about my hair whether long, short, natural, relaxed.........it's my parents who have a lot to say! Right now, they are just thrilled that it's 1. Relaxed and 2. long and 3. that I'm growing it out longer than it's every been!! You'd think they had something to do with it the way their all gushing over my hair now! IT's very very strange!!!! Maybe it's because all my cousins are type 2's and NOBODY except me and one other cousin every even got a relaxer..........so maybe their like, look our daughter can have long hair too!!! I don't know but it's like their "extra proud" of me with it long and straight or something! Man! Black folks and all our mental shackles!!!! My closest cousin has always had hair down to her butt, then she'll cut it and before you can blink it's grown back! She's a type 2 something but she has ALWAYS been sooooooo supportive of whatever look I choose so that's nice! The rest of them have always had long hair so it's nothing they even work toward. She would really love this site too!

 

[earthtones]

My family is supportive but the one friend who knows I'm growing it always says"for someone who spends so much time on their hair, it doesn't look that great" :rolling eyes: sheesh thanks alot.