How do you slow down a rush relationship?

[**SaSSy**]

So my friend was telling me she reunited with an old flame, and feels she rushed into the coloring situation too fast (which she feels is not the problem) but now she said she spoke to him about slowing down the relationship and he's no longer allowed in her house until they get to know each other. I ask her does this include not messing around without the actual coloring and she said no they will still mess around but she will not bring her to her house anymore. He said he really wants to be with her and prove his self to her, and is willing to slow down with her. Is this mess repairable?

 

[Spiffy]

I believe it's kind of hard to go backwards with guys once they've already compartmentalized you, especially if that's the convenient box.

I don't see how not allowing him to come over to her house, but still messing around will serve anything. I'm assuming they 'color' at his place, that just spells convenience. This just seems like a setup to make it harder to see this guys true intentions because I think he will play the part as long as he gets what he wants.

I dunno, maybe I'm just a newb, never been in this 'situatish' before, so hopefully someone who has more insight will weigh in.

 

[mscocoface]

If I am reading correctly. Slow down in this situation means that she just doesn't want to color in her house but other places are okay?!?!?!?

I am confused, where is the slowing down part? The only thing that has changed here is the venue for coloring and messing around.

 

[**SaSSy**]

Well she told me he calls her everyday multiple times just to talk about nothing and it's really irritating her. So today she told me she's not answering any of his calls, but he called already once day. She think he's getting too emotion and physically attached. I told her to just ignore him until you are ready to talk to him. I didn't ask her about the change in sex location.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Well she told me he calls her everyday multiple times just to talk about nothing and it's really irritating her. So today she told me she's not answering any of his calls, but he called already once day. She think he's getting too emotion and physically attached. I told her to just ignore him until you are ready to talk to him. I didn't ask her about the change in sex location.

I've sort of been where your friend has been before (minus the messing around part) and honestly, I'm getting the feeling that maybe your friend isn't really that into him.

I mean, I may be going off on a limb here, but anytime in the past when I have felt that a man is contacting me "too much", or I'm ignoring his phone calls trying to dodge him, it's USUALLY because I'm Just Not That Into Him. I may like the attention, but I'm either not attracted to him, or there's not a lot of chemistry w/him. Because if it were a guy she REALLY liked, I don't think his phone calls would be "excessive". She'd be glad and would feel giddy and secure that he is connecting with her often....especially in the beginning stage.


HOWEVER....I will also say this, some guys can actually ruin their chances with a woman by being too eager. Especially if the woman is still feeling him out and is letting him pursue her. Even if the woman is genuinely INTO the man, if the woman feels like he's TOO into her much more than she is into him, then she will eventually start to worry about hurting his feelings, and her attraction for him will start to go way down because a woman doesn't want to feel like she has to worry about a man like she does a child (especially in the initial stages). It just seems to take away a bit of his masculinity and makes the man appear "soft"...even if he really isn't. This is a turn-off for ANY woman...even if she really does like the man.

Just a thought.....

 

[**SaSSy**]

I've sort of been where your friend has been before (minus the messing around part) and honestly, I'm getting the feeling that maybe your friend isn't really that into him.

I mean, I may be going off on a limb here, but anytime in the past when I have felt that a man is contacting me "too much", or I'm ignoring his phone calls trying to dodge him, it's USUALLY because I'm Just Not That Into Him. I may like the attention, but I'm either not attracted to him, or there's not a lot of chemistry w/him. Because if it were a guy she REALLY liked, I don't think his phone calls would be "excessive". She'd be glad and would feel giddy and secure that he is connecting with her often....especially in the beginning stage.


HOWEVER....I will also say this, some guys can actually ruin their chances with a woman by being too eager. Especially if the woman is still feeling him out and is letting him pursue her. Even if the woman is genuinely INTO the man, if the woman feels like he's TOO into her much more than she is into him, then she will eventually start to worry about hurting his feelings, and her attraction for him will start to go way down because a woman doesn't want to feel like she has to worry about a man like she does a child (especially in the initial stages). It just seems to take away a bit of his masculinity and makes the man appear "soft"...even if he really isn't. This is a turn-off for ANY woman...even if she really does like the man.

Just a thought.....

So I just asked about the sex location she said she likes him, but she thinks he needs way too much emotion support than what she is ready to give so she will not be having sex with him anymore until she gets to knows him better. I never heard of a guy getting all emotional after sex and calls several times to talk about his feeling and about her with him.

 

[Jazala]

Guys who try to move the relationship forward quickly are either a) genuinely head-over-heels in love because they feel they have finally met the woman of their dreams Or b) they have a hidden agenda and need to convince you so you will be easier to manipulate.

I'm fairly certain that b happens much more often than a.

 

[ThickHair]

If she wouldn't have rushed into sex with him, she would have found out all the sappy stuff. Was she just horny and he was the closest\warmest thing out?

In all honesty it sounds like she just isn't into him.

 

[Latomian]

If she wouldn't have rushed into sex with him, she would have found out all the sappy stuff. Was she just horny and he was the closest\warmest thing out?

In all honesty it sounds like she just isn't into him.

ITA with this.

 

[Glib Gurl]

So I just asked about the sex location she said she likes him, but she thinks he needs way too much emotion support than what she is ready to give so she will not be having sex with him anymore until she gets to knows him better. I never heard of a guy getting all emotional after sex and calls several times to talk about his feeling and about her with him.

Can you say role reversal? *lol*

 

[gn1g]

Is this your girlfriend?