How do you position yourself to be found?

[*SkolarStar*]

ETA: In response to the Steve Harvey thread.

Let's face it, chasing men is NOT what we're going to do. Positioning though?

I explained the concept of positioning to one of my good friends and at the beginning of the conversation she was like, . By the end of the conversation she was like, "teach me grand master."

Now, I am no expert like other posters here who go on multiple dates per week, or even per day. I've just been paying attention to the right posts and acting upon them. If you're not familiar with the concept of positioning, it's putting yourself in the right atmospheres to be approached men. Location. Location. Location. I could tell when I was getting better at it based on the men that I would meet. Now it's to the point that I'm meeting men who (just about) fit what I want and we go further based on compatibility.

I don't remember who said this, but she said that dating is a numbers game. The more men you meet, the higher chance you have of finding the one for you.

How are you positioning yourself to meet high amounts of men? No matter how obscure, list it.

ETA: Time to edit this list!
I don't have a lot, but I'll start:
~No matter where I go, I'm dolled up.
~Places I go on a regular: church, the grocery store, the car wash, sorority chapter meetings at the Y, work, Urban League events and meetings, social outings that are not at a club, target
~I wrote a list of what I wanted and stuck to it (not superficial)
~I focus on myself (the best thing)

Threads that help me:
~That Girl 2015 Challenge
~Sensuality thread

 

[FemmeFatale]

I think looking your best, being confident, and going to where the men are is a good start. Next is looking approachable which is all about body language and demeanor. Men look for a green light before approaching so your demeanor is everything after your look.

 

[tibb1908]

I agree with what you ladies said especially always looking your best where ever you go.

I've been to get togethers and everyone had to invite a single person (opposite sex) and my sorority did it too. We had game night, valentines, Super Bowl etc., you get the idea and there were quite a few matches made.

 

[PretteePlease]

Put your phone down and look up

Go out dolled up or not

Smile

If you see something you like give him the stare down

Put the word out that you are looking and available

 

[*SkolarStar*]

PretteePlease How do you do the last one? Who do you tell?

 

[PretteePlease]

Girl tell erbody. I have been. I told a complete stranger at happy hour. She offered up her son. He was too young but he was an engineer and sounded like a nice guy. Of course he would to his mother but I literally tell everyone I'm single and looking to be married.

 

[CurlyMoo]

Put your phone down and look up

Go out dolled up or not

Smile

If you see something you like give him the stare down

Put the word out that you are looking and available

I don't think I want his reaction though.

 

[Britt]

Put your phone down and look up

Go out dolled up or not

Smile

If you see something you like give him the stare down

Put the word out that you are looking and available

I agree with the stare. The rare times I see a dude I find attractive, I will look. Now that I'm single, I have no problem making some real eye contact with someone that looks like they might be interested in me. Even if it's a coy look. Hell, all the time ni99as I ain't interested in come talk to me, compliment me, try to get my attention... I'm ready for the ones I find attractive I think it's a great idea to make eye contact and seem approachable if you see something you like.

 

[AyannaDivine]

How's Tinder working for you? I thought it was strictly for hooking up and one night stands.

 

[*SkolarStar*]

How's Tinder working for you? I thought it was strictly for hooking up and one night stands.

AyannaDivine Tinder is a hit or miss. I just think of dating as a numbers game so I'm not picky about how I get their numbers up. Also, there will always be diamonds in a rough. Just depends on your patience. And it's free, what's there to lose?

 

[CaraWalker]

tinder is gross.

 

[scarcity21]

I agree with the stare. The rare times I see a dude I find attractive, I will look. Now that I'm single, I have no problem making some real eye contact with someone that looks like they might be interested in me. Even if it's a coy look. Hell, all the time ni99as I ain't interested in come talk to me, compliment me, try to get my attention... I'm ready for the ones I find attractive I think it's a great idea to make eye contact and seem approachable if you see something you like.

This is what I need to work on in the new year...I get so shy and look away so I look unapproachable!!!

 

[Skyfall]

...

 

[Always~Wear~Joy]

This is what I need to work on in the new year...I get so shy and look away so I look unapproachable!!!

I'm still learning this too!! I tried it recently at the gym with this guy that constantly stares. When I caught him looking I held his gaze for a few seconds, smiled and that's when he approached. Before I just ignored him because I was in the zone or shy? But it works!

 

[SpiritJunkie]

I've Been saying yes to a lot more invites since you can't meet anyone staying at home. I also travel a lot to open the pool a bit. Looking good anytime you leave the house I agree with as well.

Keeping my options open!!!

 

[foxxymami]

Put your phone down and look up ...... If you see something you like give him the stare down

Yes to this advice. "The eyes" really work ladies, don't sleep on it. If you do it, they will come! We chatted about how to do it in this thread....

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=313905

 

[Holla]

I agree with holding his gaze. Not staring like he's meat but holding his gaze by making eye contact and keeping it for at least 5 seconds while smiling. The first time I tried it was years ago in a club in NYC. I saw a guy I liked on the dance floor and I could tell the woman he was with was not his girlfriend. Caught his eye, held his gaze, smiled, and as soon as the song was over and he was done dancing with her, he walked straight over to me. He was a doctor from AK doing a fellowship in NY. Felt like I struck gold that night bc who says you can't meet a great guy in a club!!!!?

 

[Xavier]

I would like to add do not be afraid to go out on your own. This was one of my goals for 2014 and it works ladies. The following has worked for me as far as meeting quality men:

-Going out to eat alone...and make sure you sit at the bar.
-Go to a lounge and listen to music
- Dancing! I would recommend a place that has partnered dancing. The men will ask you to dance left and right.

 

[Nayna]

For me it depends. If someone is already staring me down or I'm in a setting to give him the eye then I will, and then allow him to approach. But if it's a party/club setting; then I'm a bit more flirty. For example I met my bf at a pool party. The women outnumbered the men and they were all half nekkid. He caught my eye because he didn't seem thirsty, but the problem was he wasn't catching anyone's eye. He was just drinking chilling. He was just so unbothered that I wanted to bother him, lmao. So I made him notice me. I approached him(by myself), whispered in his ear about coming to dance with me before the night is over and then I walked off. I think it worked because I left it up to him to find me and because I didn't put myself in a position to be rejected since I didn't hang around to wait for a reaction. I used to be super shy, but I get bolder as I age, lol.

 

[PlainJane]

I would like to add do not be afraid to go out on your own. This was one of my goals for 2014 and it works ladies. The following has worked for me as far as meeting quality men: -Going out to eat alone...and make sure you sit at the bar. -Go to a lounge and listen to music - Dancing! I would recommend a place that has partnered dancing. The men will ask you to dance left and right.

I'm going to try going out to eat this weekend. I hope I don't stare at my phone too much...

 

[Briabiggles]

I'm going to try going out to eat this weekend. I hope I don't stare at my phone too much...

Take a book instead and put your phone away.

Sent from my iPad mini mini.

 

[hunnychile]

I'm still learning this too!! I tried it recently at the gym with this guy that constantly stares. When I caught him looking I held his gaze for a few seconds, smiled and that's when he approached. Before I just ignored him because I was in the zone or shy? But it works!

I work in a gym part-time and some of the trainers there... I find myself constantly making eye contact with one and I immediately look away to keep myself out of trouble. I look away and chant, I love my man, I love my man, I love my man

 

[CaraWalker]

if a guy makes eye contact with you and you let it linger 9 times out of 10 hes going to come over and talk to you.

eye contact is my primary means of meeting new men.

 

[bluediamond0829]

---I've been doing more events and accepting the invites to events on meet up.com groups, Church, taking trips and going to my homecoming(I haven't been since 2002), and just being open to being more active.
---Hitting the online site and weeding out ALOT. After my last experience with online dating I said I wouldn't EVER do online dating. I've hidden my profile for now but the ones that were getting on my nerves, bs'ing around, or that I could see by reading their profile of even making it a point to meeting I've put them on block. I also don't hold my tongue and hold back how I feel. I have one dude I gave my number to before the holidays and he hits me up always at the last minute to invite me out to breakfast, lunch or dinner. I told him in a smart way that my answer may have been yes to his invite just IF he didn't wait to the last minute and I had already made prior arrangements. I have no time to waste and I'm being VERY picky. I'm taking my time and if I feel comfortable then I will meet that person in a very public atmosphere. So far I had my first date yesterday and it went very well. He has very good potential but I can't put my all in one basket until I know its official.
--- I like the idea that its about numbers. I like that but I don't want to waste my time either so I screen people like I'm interviewing them for an CEO, CFO or VP position in my life.

 

[Shiks]

I went to a place with lots of men(rugby club house) with a dress on. I was waiting for a friend who was 3 hours late and was on my phone but got a date. Don't underestimate the power of a good dress.

I missed the eye contact thing at a wedding. A guy smiled at me multiple times and I frowned in return.

 

[Always~Wear~Joy]

Possible places to position yourself in 2015

 

[ckisland]

I'm glad I peeked in this thread because I really need to be found this year. By this year, I mean before Valentine's Day, I usually don't have a sweetie or date, and it would be a nice change .

I smile a lot, but I don't hold gazes. I'll chat with a guy, and be too busy being amused or thinking about something else to flirt back. Like last week, one of the engineering guys was trying his hardest to keep my attention, but I just brushed him off. After I got home, I was like, why did I do that?!!! . I literally forget that I want to be in a relationship as I go about my day, and that's how I've ended up perpetually single .

 

[ambergirl]

A lot of the women I know who have been "found" were found at Tae Kwon Do classes, auto shows, tech conferences or seminars, tennis or sailing clubs, the free weight room at the gym...if you're serious about going where the men are you have to be willing to go to uber masculine things while looking ultra cute and feminine.

 

[PretteePlease]

^^I had a friend of a friend ask me to walk with her around a sports bar. We went downstairs to the patio. We both saw a guy that we thought was attractive read well dressed tall nice body. She told me which guy I told her I was looking at the same one. She was all giddy and said what do I do.

I walked her in front of him about 10 ft away and told her to STARE. They caught eyes and she waved. He motioned her to come to his section. I told her she bet not move, make him come to her. He came out they exchanged info the rest is unknown. I'll ask but the thing is she did the stare down.

I did the stare down that night too but I knew him he didn't know me (new wig) I'm not interested in him but I just did it to do it.

Ladies pull up your cities convention and tourism bureau website. If you see a male oriented show you might want to go (guns, boats, RV's, sports, etc) I met so many men at CES technology show. Auto shows are good too.

 

[Kookookiwi]

Possible places to position yourself in 2015

Always~Wear~Joy how did you find this list of you don't mind me asking? Finances aren't where they need to be for me to make any of these this year, but I'd really like to next year.