How Do You Know You're in a Good Relationship?!

[Syrah]

We talk so much about bad ones, "should I stay or should I go" "why do men ______" etc, I'm starting to think we're more primed and on the lookout for bad relationships but aren't so primed for the good ones. And so I ask, beyond "it just feels right", how do you know when you're in a good relationship - not just with a good man - but in a good overall relationship?

My girl said "its effortless". And I don't know that I agree with that. I think good ones often times require the most conscious effort. The difference is the effort doesn't seem taxing or time consuming, which is what I think she meant.

One of the fellas said "she approaches me for sex". And we laughed. But then we thought about it a little further and I actually think there's some truth to that statement. I know that when I'm not feeling emotionally connected to someone, I'm less apt to initiate physical activity - so maybe there's some truth to that.

Another of the fellas said "she encourages me to go hang out with the boys, without her". Another valid point IMO.

Another said "she doesn't pick up my cell phone" at which point we all shook our heads and laughed.

What about you? How do you know when you're in a good relationship? Or what are you looking for in that good relationship?

 

[caltron]

There's little or no drama and you're happy most of the time. You have to put work into any relationship, but in a good relationship, you get an immediate return on your investment.

 

[cdawnlewis]

I am currently in what I feel is a good relationship. We have a strong friendship and that is our foundation. We have each other's back. There is a lot of trust, a lot of love, and we each make sure that we let one another know how much we truly appreciate eachother. Our hearts are in it together, and we don't keep tabs or hold grudges. In my opinion, a good relationship is when you can both depend on one another truly.

 

[dlewis]

You know I worried, wondered and was concerned about my marriage for a long time before I stopped. (did I marry the right person, what have I done, now I have these kids, maybe its better......?????) A while after I stopped I thought this is good, this is what I need and want, thank you Jesus.

I can't explain it. I knew I could be with this person and not wonder, worry and I knew he would do whatever I needed him to do and I was willing to do almost anything for him, what's when I knew.

I believe I always had a good relationship. But overtime if you continue to work and give to it, it becomes something really really good. Not just average good.

 

[gabulldawg]

I like the response of, "it's effortless." I do agree that any relationship takes work, but it doesn't have to FEEL like work. With my DH I know we both are working at our relationship, but we have fun while doing it. I don't dread coming home to him and I don't think he dreads coming home to me. We have FUN together. We connect with each other. We communicate with each other. We don't feel the need to check up on each other.

Just a few thoughts...

 

[Whimsy]

It just feels good.

 

[nikolite]

In the beginning, you're ecstatic and happy nearly all the time.

Later on, you are happy more often than you're not, accompanied with occasional moments of extreme happiness that take you back to those earlier times.