How Do You Keep Your Man Interested Mentally?

[tapioca_pudding]

Hi ladies,

I see a lot of articles and posts (not just here) about keeping your man interested physically (staying fit, tricks in bed etc). But I often think about how to keep your man interested mentally. I know that as the relationship gets older, you settle into a routine, things become "day to day" and you can kinda get into a rut. How do you ladies keep your man mentally intrigued or stimulated, so the conversation is still interesting and exciting? I hope I'm making sense here.

Basically I guess I'm wondering how do you keep him in love with your mind.

 

[nlamr2013]

Read current events that way you'll always have something current to talk about.
Read a few things in each others industry so that you can mention one thing and his passion will take over and he'll be basically talking to himself but in his mind he had an awesome conversation with you lol and appreciates your interest in his interests.

 

[CaraWalker]

thats the one problem i never have unfortunately. erplexed

 

[caltron]

I think that is easy if a couple are compatible to begin with. When you enjoy each other's company, that just comes naturally and grows over time. It's the other stuff that is easy to let slide especially when you have lots of other demands on your time--like children. But those seemingly superficial things go a long way toward keeping a relationship fresh so it's worth it to keep at it.

 

[PeaceFlow]

I've been with SO for 2.5 years and we still lose hours chatting about various things.

I agree with keeping on top of current affairs, latest studies, controversial issues etc.. Sometimes we go into more social phenomena like changes in the dating world, families, cultural differences and whatnot. Start a hot button topic and keep rolling

 

[Mane Event]

Read current events that way you'll always have something current to talk about.
Read a few things in each others industry so that you can mention one thing and his passion will take over and he'll be basically talking to himself but in his mind he had an awesome conversation with you lol and appreciates your interest in his interests.

This! I love sports and can go toe-to-toe with him on draft selections, baseball stats, nba playoffs, etc. I also send updates when I know he can't catch a game.

 

[chronicity]

Somehow my BF and I find ways to talk for hours about random topics. He is always forwarding me articles from NPR and I will bring up things that I come across on the various sites I visit, like reddit. I also often share with him interesting insights from whatever nonfiction I'm reading at the moment. Our jobs continually give us stuff to talk about as well. Mental stimulation is not something we've had to work at yet, and hopefully it will stay that way.

But here are some things that help, judging from past relationships:

- Have mutual friends that you regularly hang out with. Odds are there are things going on in their lives you can talk about. Seeing your SO through the eyes of others also can re-kindle their mystique and reawaken your curiosity in them.

-Share experiences together. This means sometimes breaking out of your routine. Travel, go to a new restaurant, throw a party together, scuba dive. A sense of adventure gets the creative juices flowing, and gives you memories to discuss later.

-Spend some time apart from one another. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. The more you exist as a pleasant memory, the more intriguing you become to another. When you're apart, odds are you'll also have new experiences worth sharing.

 

[Aviah]

We're the type that loves learning, so there is always something new to discuss. He or I will bring up something that we've been looking into and it just gets the ball rolling. It's even better when we have differing views on a topic because we try and understand the other's side. I do agree that a lot of it has to do with compatibility in the first place though.

 

[awhyley]

Subscribing

 

[pearcey]

Hi ladies,

I see a lot of articles and posts (not just here) about keeping your man interested physically (staying fit, tricks in bed etc). But I often think about how to keep your man interested mentally. I know that as the relationship gets older, you settle into a routine, things become "day to day" and you can kinda get into a rut. How do you ladies keep your man mentally intrigued or stimulated, so the conversation is still interesting and exciting? I hope I'm making sense here.

Basically I guess I'm wondering how do you keep him in love with your mind.

We have opposite views on everything and one of the joys of our union is debate.

And I have a very compartmentalized brain. there is always "something" going on up there.

sometimes it goes from interest to trying to flee to coup and find shelter with the less manic.

 

[1QTPie]

This is easy. I just tell him what to think.

 

[CarLiTa]

I think if you have interests in the first place, then you'll be interesting... to SOMEbody. And having interests that are cross-gender makes you more interesting to more people. Because there's only so much a guy can talk about shopping and pampering and cooking or whatever.

I agree with the poster who said you have to be compatible. You need to have interests in the first place, but it is compatibility that makes the person actually want to engage with you over time.

 

[Prettymetty]

I relieve his stress, allow him to vent, give him his space... I am also a big reader so I always have something interesting to talk about. My reading stimulates his mind and benefits him too

 

[Jace032000]

My husband and I can chat for hours about absolutely nothing and still be thoroughly entertained! Although we don't always enjoy the same things (he's a pilot and loves flying and extreme sports while I'm deathly afraid of heights), we capitalize on our differences and grow from there. We've been married 8 years this August and are always stimulated…..MENTALLY (I know where ya'll minds were going lol).

 

[Farida]

If you find that you are struggling so much to keep the mental connection with someone you are dating then maybe you are not very compatible to begin with.