How do you handle the negative people in your (dating) life?

[MissMariee]

A little background: I'll be 21 next month. I have a two year old, his dad & I split up in October. I dont go out much without my son so I'm fairly new in the dating scene.

Now, my stepmom and dad split up over a year ago. Shes been in my life since I was two, we're very close. But it seems as if she downs every guy I go on a date with. Wenesday night I went out for dinner with this guy. He seems great, involved in church, working, going to school etc.. This morning Im telling her about how much I enjoyed my time with him & rather than be happy for me, Shes grilling me about if he has a gf, hes probably looking for "one thing" oh "just be careful" in a condescending way.. I know alot of this comes from her relationship with my dad because he didnt treat her great. But I mean I'm still young.. Im trying to stay open minded that all men arent the same.

How do you deal with these "negative nancys" in your life?

 

[Hairsnob]

Sometimes family memers really mean well but can come off as just straight negative. You just have to show them that you're making better choices and they will start trusting your judgment better. Not sure if you made bad choices but I'm assuming your aunt doesn't trust that you can pick a good one.

Honestly, if I had a daughter I'd tell her the same things she's telling you. But maybe the way she's doing it isn't supportive. You can always keep the details to yourself until you've really got to know the person so you won't have to go through the grilling if it doesn't work out. If he turns out fine and she meets him then she'll see the same good guy you did.

Just keep their advice in your back pocket and use your own judgment as you date and learn. They're really just looking out for you but they don't realize how negative it comes off. We all are going to do what we want to do anyway, right? I know I do

 

[MissMariee]

Oh I deff understand her concern. My family has always had my best interest in mind no matter how harsh it may sound. But coming from her its weird because she always been the one preaching to "do what I want" regardless of other peoples opinions. Her & I are like best friends, shes admitted that her view on men has been tampered due to my dads infidelity. I honestly just dont want to end up like her and always assuming everyone is out to hurt me. I obviously am not going to be naive about the situation, Im young but I do have a fairly clear vision on what I want now, and want to be able to give the right person a chance and keep an open mind.

I probably will have to start keeping things to myself, which sucks because we spend soo much tome together. And thank you for your input!

 

[Mai Tai]

I think you should stop telling your step mom all of your business if she can't or wont be happy for you.

I understand her general concern and I also understand that a lot of her negativity probably stems from her breakup with your dad, but to shoot down every man you choose to date instead of mentoring you through this process is neither healthy or helpful to you.

 

[Ayesha81]

Just dont tell them.....anything.