How do u get guys to approach you?

CarLiTa said:
Hey rattlermale, thanks for your perspective.

Question: why should a woman talk about sports to intrigue a guy? if she herself isn't too into into sports, for example, or into sports, but doesn't follow teams.
Wouldn't it make more sense to discuss a topic that gets both of them excited? any topic?

I also agree with you about having a consistent look. I have heard that before. I remember once in college hearing this guy differentiating between the girls at his school (co-ed) and the girls at mine (single-sex). He said he liked that we always looked nice, blah blah, and that he would often see the girls at his college look extra frumpy to class and then try to show out on the weekend.

I remember chuckling inside and thinking: Hm, that's because you only come to my campus on weekends:lol: or when we know we'll be seeing the opposite sex, we clean up a little more:lol:

I remember being intrigued by what he said bc I didn't imagine guys cared so much... especially once they can tell that a girl "cleans up nicely":look: But I guess if girls are seeing "cleaning up nicely" as putting on a clown-like face, then that's a double negative.
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in stimulating conversation about sports or the topic of the day

It doesn't have to be about sports. However, the topic of sports work so well because a.)most men are heavily interested in sports b.) most men have had at least one relationship in which their love of sports has been a point of contention within their relationship so it is refreshing to meet a lady that shares that same passion. It does not have to be sports though. Any topic of the day that you are well versed in and can articulate your thoughts will do. Crystalicequeen123 is deadon when she states, "men may LIKE the outer package, but I think they end up dating and marrying the woman who stimulates their mind more than their.....well....you know..... "
 
lushcoils said:
I understand this, but I thought this thread was about getting men to approach you first, not women approaching men first.
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Oh. I knew that :look: :lachen:jk I saw other people posting about that and forgot.

Well in that case I don't see much u can do besides smiling, being in places with lots of men, and having a confident demeanor.
 
ThickHair said:
I agree smile and eye contact.

Even if you are not interested in a guy who approaches you, just be cordial. You never know, your dream man may be watching.

Being friendly isn't a sign of a weak person nor a pushover.
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GOOD point! :yep: :yep: You just never know who else is watching, and I think guys pick up on whether or not you are a jerk to other people or are "selective" in how you treat others. :yep:

lushcoils said:
I think it's mostly luck. I can smile, look my best, make eye contact with people who aren't trying to make contact, think I'm pretty and not get approached. Many women here state that they get approached several times a day while mean mugging and looking a hot mess. Some say they have low self esteem as well. Having big boobs seems to help as well and cancel the importance of any of the above "requirements."
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LOL! :lachen:

Sometimes I feel this way too. I think part of it IS just being at the right place at the right time I guess. Some days I'll be looking and feeling like crap, but will end up getting the most play. I'm like: "What the??" :confused: But when I'm dressed to the nines, I just get a bunch of stares mainly....nobody trying to talk to me. :ohwell:

What's up with that?? :confused:
 
I wore heels today and tried to look confident and I still got the usual strange men (ppl that look homeless/like kidnappers) trying to approach me. :(

I swear I only get hit on by probably 3 or 4 eligible men a year
 
chickle said:
I wore heels today and tried to look confident and I still got the usual strange men (ppl that look homeless/like kidnappers) trying to approach me. :(

I swear I only get hit on by probably 3 or 4 eligible men a year
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It's just one day. Ignore the losers and keep an eye out for your prince :)
 
chickle

If it makes you feel better, my stats are a lot worse than yours. :grin:

Keep trying. At least you're getting some bites, which means you'll soon be getting approached a million times a day like everyone else. Hang in there.
 
Dacia38 said:
It's not just about being a dime. I consider myself to be an average attractive woman, but I tend to get tons of play. I don't approach guys as that's not my way. I find that a lot of men really want to be the aggressor or the one to approach the female. You'd be surprised at how much a guy would say it's a bit of a turn off to have a woman approach them.

As far as being unapproachable or making yourself more approachable. Think body language. What are you putting out there? If you have a bored or disinterested look on your face then most men will think you're not interested and won't even bother. Also, take a look at what you are doing with the rest of your body. I was once told long ago by a guy that he was hesitant about approaching me becuase I had my arms crossed in front of me. I had no idea...I was cold and just trying to warm up a bit. He said it sent the message that I don't want to be bothered so don't even think about it. Who knew!

~Dacia
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I don't believe that at all. I've never heard of a guy not talking to a chick that they liked if she came to him first. I think its some more I'm a man insecure stuff but since most women are scared to approach anyway it works. The only thing I don't really like about being scared to approach somebody you like is sometimes it feels like going to a 75% off sale at a popular store on the last day of the sale. :lol: You don't have to do it like a guy but I see no problem with jumpstarting the process.
 
This is a really cute topic!
I honestly think it depends on the person. This is going to sound a little repetative, but I've found that a complete self-examination is the key to comfortability and happiness. Men can sense this and they are naturally attracted to this because you generate this aura.
Also, never be afraid to approach a guy. You've got one life to live, so live it up. This is also coming from personal experience. I approached my SO in a crowed train, with all the people watching. LOL We are going on 3 years very soon.
You have to remember you are on a mission! If he doesn't "see" you, grab his attention real quick! LOL
 
I can honestly say I've never had trouble attracting men. This seems odd to me because I have been extremely shy all my life. My kindergarten teacher thought I was retarded. My mom had to beat me to get me to talk. Lol damn that is hilarious now. So anyhooo my mom always had a saying " if ya gonna get seen ya gonna get seen". Those are words I live by. I walk with confidence no matter what I am feeling. I am articulate, smart and I was born with sexy. I live and breathe that attitude. I don't try, I let it happen.


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chickle said:
I wore heels today and tried to look confident and I still got the usual strange men (ppl that look homeless/like kidnappers) trying to approach me. :(

I swear I only get hit on by probably 3 or 4 eligible men a year
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Maybe that is the thing. "trying to look" instead of "being". I know one has to fake it to make it, but nothing tops raw confidence.
 
It's not about "getting" guys to approach you. Just be yourself. I'm usually a plain jane and guys have approached me without me even noticing them.
 
You have to see who's seeing you... If someone you're interested in appears to be interested, eye contact and a smile are always a step in the right direction. :yep: Outside of that (and I'm only speaking from MY experience), since the characteristic or behavior that makes one guy :lovedrool: another :yawn: and yet another :perplexed, reciprocating interest is all I got. :look:
 
Poohbear said:
It's not about "getting" guys to approach you. Just be yourself. I'm usually a plain jane and guys have approached me without me even noticing them.
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:yep: Plus, if nothing else, that will save both of you a lot of frustration in the long run. If you're :dork: but become :gorgeous: or :whipgirl: for the purpose of getting a man to be interested (or act on his interest), what happens when you go back to being you? Suggestions are great, but since the things we do to attract someone really should be the same things we do to keep them, I don't advocate starting anything the person isn't prepared finish.
 
im a very happy-go-lucky person, i smile all the time,im always laughing, im confident and i have a really "positive energy" and guys tend to notice that so they always approach me. when a guy approaches me i always try to engage in a nice conversation and 99.589% of the time theyll end up asking if i have a man or if they can get my number so we can hang out because they love my personality.
i also try to make sure i always look good. if i were you i would drop the whole granny ensemble like another poster said you can look cute without being too revealing.guys like girls who look well put together, you dont have to be super stylish but at the same time dont be so... "basic"
a little makeup doesnt hurt either, i wear makeup almost evryday but its not that much i only put mascara,eyeliner,and foundation/blush.if i feel like it i'll wear eyeshadow.

basicly its about confidence, being yourself, and looking cute/decent
 
apparently the way to get them to notice is to talk to them for 10 minutes and then ignore them and flirt in front of them with other guys. i swear to god, the only guys who approach me these days are guys i have NO attraction to whatsoever!
 
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