How do u get guys to approach you?
- Thread starter chickle
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Katherina
Well-Known Member
You smile. You are approachable (in face - includes not wearing scary makeup - and dress). Men are still little boys inside in many ways. They still fear rejection (don't we all), especially from the ladies.
If you (regardless of your rank 1-10) look like you will not stomp their ego for trying, they will come over and introduce themselves to you.
Please drop the granny act if u are looking for a boo under 75. If modesty is your thing, there are plenty of modest clothes that don't look like a sack. You want the design of your clothes to accentuate the female form. You don't need to be overly revealing for that. U just need a pencil skirt and form fitting sweater; a sundress; jeans and a form-fitting tee. If you're feeling it, add heels. It's easy peasy
Smiling with your eyes:
Men like this:
This:
This:
ETA: See below for fashion made without straight men in mind. Some women wear a shorter version of this without the hat, which is totally fine if they like it. It's just that most men I know don't find it alluring because it hides the female form:
If you (regardless of your rank 1-10) look like you will not stomp their ego for trying, they will come over and introduce themselves to you.
Please drop the granny act if u are looking for a boo under 75. If modesty is your thing, there are plenty of modest clothes that don't look like a sack. You want the design of your clothes to accentuate the female form. You don't need to be overly revealing for that. U just need a pencil skirt and form fitting sweater; a sundress; jeans and a form-fitting tee. If you're feeling it, add heels. It's easy peasy
Smiling with your eyes:
Men like this:
This:
This:
ETA: See below for fashion made without straight men in mind. Some women wear a shorter version of this without the hat, which is totally fine if they like it. It's just that most men I know don't find it alluring because it hides the female form:
Last edited:
aribell
formerly nicola.kirwan
I would say don't allow those comparisons to enter your mind. Dress, accessorize and carry yourself to be your best, and the man that is attracted to that will approach. It's a lot more about highlighting what is unique about yourself rather than trying to be prettier than the next one. The same goes for personality.
So before you leave the house, ask, "Do I look my best?" If you're at an event, ask yourself if your personality is open or if its hidden. Etc...
So before you leave the house, ask, "Do I look my best?" If you're at an event, ask yourself if your personality is open or if its hidden. Etc...
Katherina
Well-Known Member
Yeah, many of the others were a bit low cut, but even a fitted turtleneck more does the trick. They enjoy imagining what you look like naked
The weirdest things turn men on, I swear. In middle school, I read an adolescent boy's journal-turned-novel. He felt a rising pickle after his classmate covered her (sweatered) chest with her schoolbooks, because in his mind, he wanted to be the books
cinnespice
Hello is me your looking for?
Not to be rude but you believe that? I will never get plastic surgery to attract a man. If you do that you will do anything to attract a man and will never change to suit a man. Plus I like my face and if they don't like it well i can't help them. You can be beautiful but after awhile they will get tired of that you have to have more substance to you.
Smiling is something i do need to work on. I have perfected the nyc leave me the pluck alone look.
Kinkyhairlady
Well-Known Member
I smize all the time and only the knuckleheads approach. I've come to the realization either you approach yourself or just go about your business. If a man is interested enough he will approach by any means necessary.
Eta: oh yeah I do have a solution! Be as feminine as possible. I notice I get attention when wearing a dress or skirt. Men approach me A lot at church cause that is the only place you'll see me in a skirt. Unfortunately they're never my type.
Eta: oh yeah I do have a solution! Be as feminine as possible. I notice I get attention when wearing a dress or skirt. Men approach me A lot at church cause that is the only place you'll see me in a skirt. Unfortunately they're never my type.
Renewed1
Well-Known Member
@ the bold. My brother confirmed what these two ladies are saying.
tropical-punch
Well-Known Member
I try to think happy thoughts so I appear approachable.
Doesn't seem to be working :/
Doesn't seem to be working :/
delitefulmane
Well-Known Member
What is your self-esteem like? If you really don't feel attractive it will show to others. If you feel like you are the most beautiful woman in the room, others will take notice.
How do you walk? Do you walk like you OWN every room you enter?
IMHO, beauty is about presence. Guys notice the way we, as women, carry ourselves and that, aside from just physical attributes, is what attracts most men.
How do you walk? Do you walk like you OWN every room you enter?
IMHO, beauty is about presence. Guys notice the way we, as women, carry ourselves and that, aside from just physical attributes, is what attracts most men.
rattlermale
New Member
1. Being approachable i.e. the appearance of being happy and accepting of conversation.
2. The look of a lady(dresses, crossed legs, well manicured, well mannered, etc.) is very attractive and will draw positive attention to yourself.
3. Engaging a man, in any situation(bar, seminar, conference, restaurant), in stimulating conversation about sports or the topic of the day will elevate his mind from thoughts of you in bed to "do you have a man" AND when is the next time you all can get together and do this again.
4. Being consistent in your look. I understand that some days are better than others, but we always remember that really bad day, esp. if you are a really high maintenance woman and you look a lot different without going through your daily processes.
5. Since this is a hair forum, unless he ask don't tell him that your hair is not real. 95% of us can't tell the difference and really don't care as long as you look good.
2. The look of a lady(dresses, crossed legs, well manicured, well mannered, etc.) is very attractive and will draw positive attention to yourself.
3. Engaging a man, in any situation(bar, seminar, conference, restaurant), in stimulating conversation about sports or the topic of the day will elevate his mind from thoughts of you in bed to "do you have a man" AND when is the next time you all can get together and do this again.
4. Being consistent in your look. I understand that some days are better than others, but we always remember that really bad day, esp. if you are a really high maintenance woman and you look a lot different without going through your daily processes.
5. Since this is a hair forum, unless he ask don't tell him that your hair is not real. 95% of us can't tell the difference and really don't care as long as you look good.
i have a cute walk, but i guess i always have an "i am miserable" look on my face.
FemmeCreole
Island Gyal
Not to sound snotty but I don't know about being a nickel...
delitefulmane
Well-Known Member
chickle,I didnt mean a "cute" walk but COMMANDING walk. You should have a feminine walk, yes, but I am not talking about how much your hips sway. I am referring to the "alignment" of your walk. Do you walk with your head lowered? Do you slump your shoulders? All of these combine to make your "walk" and also how people perceive you. Yeah, get rid of the "miserable look" too!
CarLiTa
Well-Known Member
Hey rattlermale, thanks for your perspective.
Question: why should a woman talk about sports to intrigue a guy? if she herself isn't too into into sports, for example, or into sports, but doesn't follow teams.
Wouldn't it make more sense to discuss a topic that gets both of them excited? any topic?
I also agree with you about having a consistent look. I have heard that before. I remember once in college hearing this guy differentiating between the girls at his school (co-ed) and the girls at mine (single-sex). He said he liked that we always looked nice, blah blah, and that he would often see the girls at his college look extra frumpy to class and then try to show out on the weekend.
I remember chuckling inside and thinking: Hm, that's because you only come to my campus on weekends
or when we know we'll be seeing the opposite sex, we clean up a little moreI remember being intrigued by what he said bc I didn't imagine guys cared so much... especially once they can tell that a girl "cleans up nicely"
But I guess if girls are seeing "cleaning up nicely" as putting on a clown-like face, then that's a double negative.
Crystalicequeen123
Well-Known Member
rattlermale Thanks for the input!
It's always nice to get the male perspective on this board every once in a while. 
I think engaging a guy in any type of LIGHT stimulating conversation is always a PLUS.
I've noticed this myself. It shows a man that you have more than just a "pretty face" in other words. Plus, if you think about it....men may LIKE the outer package, but I think they end up dating and marrying the woman who stimulates their mind more than their.....well....you know..... I always say, looks will get you in the door, but personality will keep you in the house.
So, make sure that you have a GREAT personality to go along with those "alluring eyes", that "come hither" smile, and that new dress you're wearing.
And when he approaches, if he's asking you questions and trying to get to know you, make sure you have something to talk about. You can still be "mysterious" without coming across as boring or socially inept. 
Just make sure to keep the conversation kind of light...no guy wants to be in a huge heated debate w/a woman about politics, religion or "relaxed vs. natural" on a first chance meeting.
Keep the convo light, friendly, and slightly flirtatious and he will more than likely want to get your number if he is single and available. I think it's mostly luck. I can smile, look my best, make eye contact with people who aren't trying to make contact, think I'm pretty and not get approached. Many women here state that they get approached several times a day while mean mugging and looking a hot mess. Some say they have low self esteem as well. Having big boobs seems to help as well and cancel the importance of any of the above "requirements."
Lucie
Dancin' on sunshine!
By being happy. Happy people draw others unto themselves. It makes a man want to approach you. So how do you look happy? No, you don't have to sit there looking like an escaped Bellevue patient smiling to no one in particular but does your face look approachable? Make eye contact with those that are speaking to you. Ask questions. I do not approach men but sometimes a genuine compliment or comment can break the ice. If you saw yourself on the street, would you want to approach yourself? Why or why not?
ETA: I know this sounds cheesy but do you expect men to approach you? Time and time again, I cannot stress you get EXACTLY what you expect? When I go out, I always expect to meet the nicest, most helpful people. I know I am a friendly woman and that I am a people-person. Guess what? I always meet men and women.
ETA: I know this sounds cheesy but do you expect men to approach you? Time and time again, I cannot stress you get EXACTLY what you expect? When I go out, I always expect to meet the nicest, most helpful people. I know I am a friendly woman and that I am a people-person. Guess what? I always meet men and women.
Theo
New Member
chickle, you should probably change up your style of dress. For guys, most of them don't really know what's in style or not...the most important thing is wearing something that flatters your face and figure. Guys are very visual. You can walk out in sweats but still be wearing something that highlights your figure, especially if you've got a good work out bod.... a ponytail showing off your length.... a bare face showing that you're fresh-faced without makeup etc.
Also, I think if you're not being approached, approach men. Make deliberate eye contact with a guy THEN give him a nice smile. He'll be flattered that you're smiling at him.
Starting a conversation about nothing works too. For example, if you're in the supermarket and you see a cute guy, comment/tease him about what's in his cart. "Oh Yum... Gatorade." or "Oh you're just gonna walk past honey bunches of oats?"
Also, I think if you're not being approached, approach men. Make deliberate eye contact with a guy THEN give him a nice smile. He'll be flattered that you're smiling at him.
Starting a conversation about nothing works too. For example, if you're in the supermarket and you see a cute guy, comment/tease him about what's in his cart. "Oh Yum... Gatorade." or "Oh you're just gonna walk past honey bunches of oats?"
Dacia38
New Member
It's not just about being a dime. I consider myself to be an average attractive woman, but I tend to get tons of play. I don't approach guys as that's not my way. I find that a lot of men really want to be the aggressor or the one to approach the female. You'd be surprised at how much a guy would say it's a bit of a turn off to have a woman approach them.
As far as being unapproachable or making yourself more approachable. Think body language. What are you putting out there? If you have a bored or disinterested look on your face then most men will think you're not interested and won't even bother. Also, take a look at what you are doing with the rest of your body. I was once told long ago by a guy that he was hesitant about approaching me becuase I had my arms crossed in front of me. I had no idea...I was cold and just trying to warm up a bit. He said it sent the message that I don't want to be bothered so don't even think about it. Who knew!
~Dacia
As far as being unapproachable or making yourself more approachable. Think body language. What are you putting out there? If you have a bored or disinterested look on your face then most men will think you're not interested and won't even bother. Also, take a look at what you are doing with the rest of your body. I was once told long ago by a guy that he was hesitant about approaching me becuase I had my arms crossed in front of me. I had no idea...I was cold and just trying to warm up a bit. He said it sent the message that I don't want to be bothered so don't even think about it. Who knew!
~Dacia
ZeeontheGrow
New Member
I'm constantly approached by men, and can tell you it's not about whether ur a nickle/dime (although ur looks may affect who approaches u) or what you have on. Its having confidence and being comfortable & happy in ur own skin.
I'm happily involved now... so on a night out with the girls, my only goal is to enjoy myself. My style of dress is cute, but comfortable, so most nights u'll find me in a fitted pair of jeans, a white tshirt and a cute pair of shoes/boots. Sometimes I'd be considered underdressed since the majority of women r glammed up in short tight dresses n high heels.. But I'd still be approached by a TON of guys throughout the night. I'm not looking, but I still dance, chat (even with the ug mugs) and turn them away with a smile.
When I was dating, I'd do more flirting, and if a guy was checking on me, I'd give em a friendly "come hither" smile lol. But kept it moving... I'd never approach a man or come on too strong. Always a lady ;-)
I'm happily involved now... so on a night out with the girls, my only goal is to enjoy myself. My style of dress is cute, but comfortable, so most nights u'll find me in a fitted pair of jeans, a white tshirt and a cute pair of shoes/boots. Sometimes I'd be considered underdressed since the majority of women r glammed up in short tight dresses n high heels.. But I'd still be approached by a TON of guys throughout the night. I'm not looking, but I still dance, chat (even with the ug mugs) and turn them away with a smile.
When I was dating, I'd do more flirting, and if a guy was checking on me, I'd give em a friendly "come hither" smile lol. But kept it moving... I'd never approach a man or come on too strong. Always a lady ;-)
Katherina
Well-Known Member
Yeah, this works. So many ladies are TOO shy. Just say HI! Or make a stupid comment about something like the weather or his shirt!
Not to sound snotty but I don't know about being a nickel...
You're out.I know you're not addressing this at me, but think about it. I bet you'd be surprised at the number of men who have approached you with things they're not interested in, just to make conversation. If you're seeing someone for the first time, you don't know what you have in common, so u just say something! It's not being fake.
It's not mostly luck, lushcoils. You can make your own destiny, even in dating. If you approach a guy you're interested in (Hello!
), it doesn't mean u like him. It just means you're a friendly person (in his mind). He then decides if you're cute. If he thinks you're cute and friendly, he's gonna probably be interested in you. You're not asking him on a date! I've heard men complain about angry faced women, but never about a woman being friendly or saying hi.
lilanie
New Member
I engage men in stimulating (of the nonsexual variety) all the time; but here in Los Angeles they seem to prefer the idiots or women who think RedLobster is fine dining...
I know plenty of women that are either highly apathetic or downright pathetic and are boyfriended up... Maybe it's indicative of the fact that it's not something for me.
Sometimes I wonder why, and others I do my homework... lol
I know plenty of women that are either highly apathetic or downright pathetic and are boyfriended up... Maybe it's indicative of the fact that it's not something for me.
Sometimes I wonder why, and others I do my homework... lol
It's not mostly luck, lushcoils. You can make your own destiny, even in dating. If you approach a guy you're interested in (Hello!
I understand this, but I thought this thread was about getting men to approach you first, not women approaching men first.