how do I cope???

:bighug::hugxplode::hugxplode: I agree about finding a new therapist. <<<HUGS>>>

I think you will be find. You are thinking straight.
 
Keen said:
:bighug::hugxplode::hugxplode: I agree about finding a new therapist. <<<HUGS>>>

I think you will be find. You are thinking straight.
Click to expand...

Thanks...this makes me feel better and gives me a little more confidence
 
Find a new therapist
Get yourself a support system now. Is mom the supportive type? If so, why not tell her you're preggo? Can you move back home with her for a bit so that maybe you'll have a bit of help when the baby arrives?
I would put my support system in place now so they have time to get things in order (even just mentally) so they can help out.

Keep tabs on where the fiance lives and make sure you make him pay child support!
Don't beat yourself up about the relationship and all of the things you shoulda, coulda, woulda did. What's done is done...no need to live in the past.
Your focus should be on staying stress free for your new bundle of joy.
I'm not sure if you're a Christian or not, but this is definitely the time to get your relationship right with Christ. Especially because you'll need to have inner peace to deal with all of this.

I pray that God grants you the resources to be able to live without worry.

Blessings, love, and positive energy your way!
 
ZLUVSNEWZEE said:
Im opening up here because I'm starting to feel the weight of my world, please respond with words of encouragement and positive advice as I'm not really in the right place to accept tough love or criticism.
So I'm 6 Weeks pregnant and my fiancee walked out on me three Weeks ago. I have a four year old already and now I have to figure out how to take care of two kids on my own. He and I have had a tumultuous relationship off and on for years but I really believed in us this time. He proposed, changed up his act, did everything right and then I find out that he's been walkng a female coworker home every night after work and lying about it. I also found a prescription pill in my daughters stuff and when I confronted him about he laughed and walked out and has not reached out to me since. I'm at home with mom now who has no idea that I'm preggo and I know I have to move. I had an interview for a Better paying job but don't know if I'm going to Get it as I haven't heard anything. I have Been seeing a therapist but she seems intent on not discussing the relationship any longer. I know this man can't be mine but I'm just wondering how do I cope with all this without going crazy. I want to be happy about my new baby and feel confident that I'll be alright but it's tough, any kind words or advice on what kind of plan I should be working on? You guys always have good advice so I'm taking my chances
Click to expand...

I know it seems like a heavy load right now. Try to stay busy and work out a plan. Definitely check out another therapist. I hope you get the new job opportunity. Get out in the air, read some encouraging books and get as much rest as you can. Fight off stress anyway that you positively can. I know its hard to turn your mind off when you are going thru heavy stuff so staying busy is a must.
 
Find a new therapist. (S)he is human and is probably "tired" of giving advice about him that you wouldn't take. Which is fine, but a referral to a new therapist would have been professional.

His laughing was a defense mechanism. He knows he was wrong, but that doesn't matter now. Hopefully by now you've realized that this relationship cannot be healthy and you are ready to move on.

I would tell my mother I was pregnant without going into detail. "Mom, I'm 6 weeks pregnant. Todd left me 3 weeks ago. I dont wanna talk about it. I just wanna move on and get my s**t together, mmkay..."

You have 2 months before you start really showing in which employers become disinterested. Consider improvements you can make to make yourself more marketable. Can you get a certification by exam or take a 1 week class? Do it now. Put it on your resume. Move, move, move!!!

Have backup/a plan if you're financially disadvantaged. What if you can't move? Look into your state laws for tenant/ landlord. Can u pay your half and stay while the landlord goes after him for rest of the rent? Can you apply for a stay?

You have plenty of time to make a better environment to bring your baby into this world. Take a deep breath and use your time. GET A NEW THERAPIST.

Sent from my Inspire HD using LHCF
 
kweenameena said:
Find a new therapist
Get yourself a support system now. Is mom the supportive type? If so, why not tell her you're preggo? Can you move back home with her for a bit so that maybe you'll have a bit of help when the baby arrives?
I would put my support system in place now so they have time to get things in order (even just mentally) so they can help out.

Keep tabs on where the fiance lives and make sure you make him pay child support!
Don't beat yourself up about the relationship and all of the things you shoulda, coulda, woulda did. What's done is done...no need to live in the past.
Your focus should be on staying stress free for your new bundle of joy.
I'm not sure if you're a Christian or not, but this is definitely the time to get your relationship right with Christ. Especially because you'll need to have inner peace to deal with all of this.

I pray that God grants you the resources to be able to live without worry.

Blessings, love, and positive energy your way!
Click to expand...

My mom is not the supportive type, she doesn't really know how to be. I appreciate your advice, it sounds right on. Thank you for your well wishes. I believe that strengthening my relationship with God is a must right now.
 
firecracker said:
I know it seems like a heavy load right now. Try to stay busy and work out a plan. Definitely check out another therapist. I hope you get the new job opportunity. Get out in the air, read some encouraging books and get as much rest as you can. Fight off stress anyway that you positively can. I know its hard to turn your mind off when you are going thru heavy stuff so staying busy is a must.
Click to expand...

Thank you, I am trying to Keep positive
 
JeterCrazed said:
Find a new therapist. (S)he is human and is probably "tired" of giving advice about him that you wouldn't take. Which is fine, but a referral to a new therapist would have been professional.

His laughing was a defense mechanism. He knows he was wrong, but that doesn't matter now. Hopefully by now you've realized that this relationship cannot be healthy and you are ready to move on.

I would tell my mother I was pregnant without going into detail. "Mom, I'm 6 weeks pregnant. Todd left me 3 weeks ago. I dont wanna talk about it. I just wanna move on and get my s**t together, mmkay..."

You have 2 months before you start really showing in which employers become disinterested. Consider improvements you can make to make yourself more marketable. Can you get a certification by exam or take a 1 week class? Do it now. Put it on your resume. Move, move, move!!!

Have backup/a plan if you're financially disadvantaged. What if you can't move? Look into your state laws for tenant/ landlord. Can u pay your half and stay while the landlord goes after him for rest of the rent? Can you apply for a stay?

You have plenty of time to make a better environment to bring your baby into this world. Take a deep breath and use your time. GET A NEW THERAPIST.

Sent from my Inspire HD using LHCF
Click to expand...

I'm definitely not going to continue with this therapist, I'm wondering if they have therapy that is based off of christianity. I thank you for reminding me that I have time to make things better, I feel motivated to make some moves.
 
Be encouraged. You will get through this and I agree with everyone here, please get a new therapist. Develop a plan A, B, and C and get yourself settled so you can be emotionally and physically healthy for the precious life growing inside you. God bless you and my prayers are with you. (((((hugs)))))
 
huge hugs
#1 He will be back you must decide if you want to proceed with that type of man in your live and your kids lives

2-have a moment--cry it out--and then pull yourself together getting a plan of action together is key

3-stay positive about the new job...take a walk with you lil one and be strong for her

4-get dolled up...do your hair makeup and etc--spray on your smell good perfume..hold your head up high and get back to the fab lady you are!

and most of all your grown now--your not a lil girl anymore--you have two lives that will be depending on you---def seek a new therapist and just know god doesnt give you anything you cant handle..maybe some time in church would also help

good luck and god bless...
 
I don't really have any advice. However, I'm sorry you're hurting and I hope it gets better. This is a tough situation but I'm sure it'll work out in the end. Be encouraged. Hugs to you.
 
perfect28 said:
huge hugs
#1 He will be back you must decide if you want to proceed with that type of man in your live and your kids lives

2-have a moment--cry it out--and then pull yourself together getting a plan of action together is key

3-stay positive about the new job...take a walk with you lil one and be strong for her

4-get dolled up...do your hair makeup and etc--spray on your smell good perfume..hold your head up high and get back to the fab lady you are!

and most of all your grown now--your not a lil girl anymore--you have two lives that will be depending on you---def seek a new therapist and just know god doesnt give you anything you cant handle..maybe some time in church would also help

good luck and god bless...
Click to expand...

Thank you, this post made me smile. I think church may be good for me and I'm planning on putting in extensions soon to feel prettier. I know with all my heart that God will not give me more than I can take...I have to keep this in the fore front of my mind
 
-Get a new therapist. The one you have sounds like an ***-clown
-Get a good support system. If you have people, then it's time for you to go to them for help.
-You need to focus on your growing bundle of joy. Consider prayer/meditation. Start participating in activities you find enjoyable. You can't control your ex-fiancee's behavior but you can control how you respond. You will be okay. You have to will yourself to think of the positive and know that the negative is only temporary.
-Consider joining a support group that focuses on women in similar situations.
 
If you are set on keeping this baby... and you currently do not have a place of your own nor the money to have a place of your own: you should start to look into your local women's shelters. Especially since you say that your mother isn't supportive. Many times getting into a shelter will help expedite the process for at the very least, getting your own apartment on a low income scale.
 
Last edited:
ZLUVSNEWZEE said:
I'm definitely not going to continue with this therapist, I'm wondering if they have therapy that is based off of christianity. I thank you for reminding me that I have time to make things better, I feel motivated to make some moves.
Click to expand...

*lights up a newport one hunnit*

Go in a room all by yourself and have a good long talk with Jesus Christ. HE is your therapist. When things are above and beyond your means/reach, give it to HIM.

*puts newport out*
 
Browndilocks said:
If you are set on keeping this baby... and you currently do not have a place of your own nor the money to have a place of your own: you should start to look into your local women's shelters. Especially since you say that your mother isn't supportive. Many times getting into a shelter will help expedite the process for at the very least, getting your own apartment on a low income scale.
Click to expand...

I can afford to mine into a cheap apartment across the bridge, id just have a commute to deal with. I think I would go to my mom before I went to a shelter.
 
ZLUVSNEWZEE said:
I can afford to mine into a cheap apartment across the bridge, id just have a commute to deal with. I think I would go to my mom before I went to a shelter.
Click to expand...

I think she only mentioned the shelter because you could possibly qualify for emergency housing vouchers and financial assistance move in/childcare etc. If it came to the point where you needed outsourced housing assistance. At least you have other options for now. I don't know how they do it in your area in regards to shelters and emergency housing assistance.

My lil cousin just got a voucher for her and her two kids. WLCAC is paying all her move in cost plus helping with household items. Now she will also get discount childcare to get on her feet. I know she didn't want to go to a shelter but the waiting list for subsidized housing vouchers is hella long.
 
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