How Can You Tell When Hair Compliments are Genuine?

[SND411]

Or can you never tell?

One a popular hair blog, there was a question about why non-blacks tend to give more compliments to our natural hair then black persons and whether our apprehensive about natural hair in the workplace/society is all in our insecure heads. But there was a question whether some of these compliments were genuine or just examples of curiosity. Some comments read:

"Personally, I take complements with a grain of salt. I received a complement from a white coworker once and then a week later when I changed my style, the same coworker admitted that they did not really like the previous style but they loooovvvve the new one! This lets me know that most comments/complements are not genuine."

or

"I also think it’s easier for whites and other races to superficially compliment from “a far” when in reality, most would not find “black hair” acceptable for themselves if it is not part of a Halloween costume."


This is not just a question of when non-blacks compliment, but compliments IN GENERAL. How do you tell if they are superficial or not? Or can you never tell?

 

[chrisanddonniesmommy]

For me, it depends on the vibe of the person and who the person is. If it's someone I may not jive with well, I'm more likely to question it than someone I do jive well with. Does that make any sense? It works for me.

 

[Nonie]

Girl, if anyone gives me a compliment, I take it and run with it. I don't second guess or worry about whether they meant it or not. Why? Coz I believe it.

I don't ever go out the door into the world unless I feel very good about how I look, so if you compliment me, you're just basically agreeing with what I already know, so thank you for noticing!

 

[10WordzOrLess]

Compliments in general, I agree, its a VIBE thing. Sometimes you can just tell when someone is being insincere. The lilt of their smile, How they conduct themselves, and what they say when others aren't around.


Ratchet Opinion Below

There are PLENTY of people in my own family (From the front to the back, WE BLACK), who will go to church and tell the Head Deaconess, "OoooooH Chile, that hat! Now that's nice right there. That. Is. Nice." and then sit around the Sunday dinner, that same evening, telling the whole Fam how the Head Deaconess had a turkey "nestin' upside her head".

Being insincere with compliments is not race exclusive phenomena IMO. Bull-SHIFTERS come in all forms and colors.

 

[Mook's hair]

Yeah, Bull Shifters do come in all forms and colors.

I don't think you have to find a hairstyle acceptable for yourself in order for you to genuinely like the way it looks on another person.

That comment could easily be flipped on me because I and a few of my friends admittedly would not find “white hair” acceptable for ourselves if it is not part of a Halloween costume.

But that doesn't mean that we cannot truely admire and like how some of their hair looks in a given style.

Seriously if I had type1 hair I'd be miserable! Wouldn't want it but that doesn't make me hate it on others.

I don't have any concerns for whether compliments are genuine or not. It doesn't phase me.

If you decided to compliment me falsely then there is something very wrong with you. And if I don't actually get the point that you were being facetious then all you did was brighten my day with your phony remark that I thought was real. So I WIN! You lose.

 

[EMJazzy]

Girl, if anyone gives me a compliment, I take it and run with it. I don't second guess or worry about whether they meant it or not. Why? Coz I believe it.

I don't ever go out the door into the world unless I feel very good about how I look, so if you compliment me, you're just basically agreeing with what I already know, so thank you for noticing!

^^^^what she said

Sent from my DROIDX using Long Hair Care Forum App

 

[ART11]

When I did my BC I got soooooooooo many compliments. Oh look at how STUNNING you are! You look just like a model! Etc... But a few years later when I saw some of the same people and I had long hair again, I was told, "Don't you EVER do that again!" Now, I take them with a grain of salt. I am sure no malice was intended. They just wanted to make me feel good about myself but personally, I would rather they skip the insincerity and be silent.

 

[Mz.MoMo5235]

i say a compliment whether genuine or snide is still a compliment...

if someone is going out of their way to approach me and say something to me about my hair means i'm doing something right. either you're a hater or you realize how awesome i am, either way, i'm cool beans yo lol