HOW CAN A SISTAH GET A DATE...

[amara11]

I know it may be scary.....but DUMP YOUR GIRL FRIENDS!
Ok ..........don't DUMP them per say.......but don't hang out in a big group of women!
Men find it really hard to approach you when he knows that your five other friends are looking him up and down and listening to the conversation blow-by-blow.
Even if you go to an event with girlfriends (there is safety in numbers), try to seperate and mingle alone or with only one other friend at a time.
Believe me this one tip will increase the conservations you will have with the opposite sex!
Good luck!
CD

Really great advice as well. The big gang of 10 girls infamously known as the 'freshman crew' that rolls deep EVERYwhere is not the business! Not saying you're a freshman- but upperclassmen still do it too. Post college, my 'night out' crew is rarely over four, and we're not afraid to split up and mingle to enjoy the scene (whatever it may be).

 

[Determined22]

Ok, how are yall meeting folks on Facebook?

I'm a Facebook junkie but I generally just talk to the folks that I already have on my friend's list.

 

[spelmanlocks]

I'd actually say I found college to be difficult, especially if you go to a predominately white school, because brothers are like $5 bills on Halloween on these campuses. Brothers weren't checking for smart, have-it-together sisters because entire white sororities were throwing around panties like it was nothing. BUT, don't give up hope - stay in touch, because all of that changes AFTER graduation, if you can get over the awareness of their slutty undergraduate behavior. Some of my male friends I wouldn't go NEAR in college, graduated and 2 years later are now on the "I need to find a nice girl and settle down - it's time to start having kids" tip.

I can see that being true, I went to an HBCU, right next to all male HBCU so men were everywhere

 

[*5+5]

Yes I go to state and I didn't know anything about it (I think I live in a bubble) .. I got invited to a party on Saturday night!! So Imma try and talk my girls into going!!! lol

Wow times must of changed since I was there. I did cross-registration at N.C. State due to the curriculum at my school being a new program. I met tons of guys between classes or at the Wolf Den where I had lunch. Dating was SUPER easy during college. I'm not sure I'll agree w/the posters that said get rid of your crew when hanging out b/c it was about 5 of us and we had tons of options and guys trying to be down w/us. Guys like girls that have friends also. Just remain confident, well-rounded, look-good and keep your head in the books and they'll seek you out. I wasn't looking for guys in college, I just wanted to have fun. Good luck tho.

 

[Syrah]

I know it may be scary.....but DUMP YOUR GIRL FRIENDS!

Ok ..........don't DUMP them per say.......but don't hang out in a big group of women!

Men find it really hard to approach you when he knows that your five other friends are looking him up and down and listening to the conversation blow-by-blow.

Even if you go to an event with girlfriends (there is safety in numbers), try to seperate and mingle alone or with only one other friend at a time.

Believe me this one tip will increase the conservations you will have with the opposite sex!

Good luck!
CD

I'd actually take this a step further and question those who don't feel comfortable without their entourage. I'm learning that a big part of who you attract is the vibe you exude about yourself. Sure you may walk around with "I'm queen of the earth" confidence but if you're exuding "i dunno about any of this, include me" insecurities, you're going to attract that - and I think constantly being in a HUGE group with entourage in tow is evidence of that.

And there are ways to flirt without saying a word OR making the first move. Don't avoid eye contact. Let eye contact linger. Smile and say hello. Maintain eye contact when he's talking until HE looks away. When standing alone, don't have your arms crossed in front of your body - its a closed body position.

And damnit, HAVE FUN! Laugh, joke, giggle, be silly. It's appealing. Just this past weekend my girls and I were at the bar (local low key spot, flip flops and tank tops) acting a fool and low and behold three brothers walk up "we heard ya'll laughing - and we want to laugh to". Needless to say my girl and one of the dudes are going out tomorrow night.

 

[smwrigh3]

I'd actually take this a step further and question those who don't feel comfortable without their entourage. I'm learning that a big part of who you attract is the vibe you exude about yourself. Sure you may walk around with "I'm queen of the earth" confidence but if you're exuding "i dunno about any of this, include me" insecurities, you're going to attract that - and I think constantly being in a HUGE group with entourage in tow is evidence of that.

And there are ways to flirt without saying a word OR making the first move. Don't avoid eye contact. Let eye contact linger. Smile and say hello. Maintain eye contact when he's talking until HE looks away. When standing alone, don't have your arms crossed in front of your body - its a closed body position.

And damnit, HAVE FUN! Laugh, joke, giggle, be silly. It's appealing. Just this past weekend my girls and I were at the bar (local low key spot, flip flops and tank tops) acting a fool and low and behold three brothers walk up "we heard ya'll laughing - and we want to laugh to". Needless to say my girl and one of the dudes are going out tomorrow night.

Great advice!!!

 

[runwaydream]

Ok, how are yall meeting folks on Facebook?

I'm a Facebook junkie but I generally just talk to the folks that I already have on my friend's list.

its easy. what i used to do is since you can see a persons page if you're at the same school, i would just read their profile and spark up a convo about their interests.

i met a TON of ppl doing that. or if you can't find too much to talk about but find them attractive and want to get to kno them, try poking them.

 

[Determined22]

its easy. what i used to do is since you can see a persons page if you're at the same school, i would just read their profile and spark up a convo about their interests.

i met a TON of ppl doing that. or if you can't find too much to talk about but find them attractive and want to get to kno them, try poking them.

Ahh ok. I'm out of school now and I know a lot of folks have their pages on lockdown. I know I do, only my friends can see my page, I don't want everyone in my network being able to see all my info.

But I may try poking a few guys that I see.

 

[DragonPearl]

I know it may be scary.....but DUMP YOUR GIRL FRIENDS!

Ok ..........don't DUMP them per say.......but don't hang out in a big group of women!

Men find it really hard to approach you when he knows that your five other friends are looking him up and down and listening to the conversation blow-by-blow.

Even if you go to an event with girlfriends (there is safety in numbers), try to seperate and mingle alone or with only one other friend at a time.

Believe me this one tip will increase the conservations you will have with the opposite sex!

Good luck!
CD

That I have to co-sign.

 

[Kamilah]

Be in the places the type of man you want to attract would be! When I started golf, I met men on the course and at the driving range all the time. Just being a woman there gives you an advantage, and the Black men will certainly give notice (whether they get down with Black women may be a different story!). Golfing is relatively cheap once you "start up" too. Get a cheapo set from Target for $200-300, plus the cost of lessons (which can be as little as 6 for $120) and then about $5 a bucket when you go to the driving range. Once you make that initial $300-400 investment, to pay $5 on the weekend is way cheaper than the movies OR going to the mall. It's good for networking too. You meet lots of interesting people.

Also, every city has a performing arts center. Depending on the crowd it draws in your town it may be a good place to meet men who are into the arts. If not, it's so much fun once a month to get dressed up and go to dinner and a show with your girls!

Lastly, try to get a pulse on the ellusive art scene. Theres usually young, fun, people at gallery openings and shows. The city puts on a program called Art After Dark here where theres a DJ and Starbucks and cool modern-interactive exhibits once a month. Look for stuff like that. Poetry clubs and coffee houses are equally chill.

This time of year, haunted houses, hayrides, etc are fun things to do to get out. Maybe a group of you should get together to go camping. Just be open to meeting people while you're out and don't be flaky. When you meet people you like don't be afraid to suggest to get together again....and really follow-up to do it!

Hope this helps! All the best!

 

[oldcrayons]

Show them your boobs.

 

[Theo]

Any HBCU's nearby? I never went without a boo in college. To the detriment of my academics unfortunately....

 

[sunshinebeautiful]

Naw, for real, if ya'll are still in college, you need to join some orgs and get active on campus.

College is the BEST place to meet a going-somewhere Black man. Don't leave and then look back in regret like I know a LOT of us did.

 

[prettypuff1]

Naw, for real, if ya'll are still in college, you need to join some orgs and get active on campus.

College is the BEST place to meet a going-somewhere Black man. Don't leave and then look back in regret like I know a LOT of us did.

Man, most of the dudes at my school are YOUNG and FRESH. The school events are geared towards the crowd that live on campus, and they are all young...

 

[smwrigh3]

Naw, for real, if ya'll are still in college, you need to join some orgs and get active on campus.

College is the BEST place to meet a going-somewhere Black man. Don't leave and then look back in regret like I know a LOT of us did.

oh believe me I am involved!! I had a club meeting today and ONLY 2 MALES SHOWED UP!!!! AND THIS IS THE SOCIETY OF AFRIKAN AMERICAN CULTURE!!!! AND TODAY WAS A BRING A BROTHA TO S.A.A.C !!!

 

[cocopuff]

What about men that have graduated from college? I'm 23 and most of the guys i'm meeting are really focused on the club thing right now. That's now where I'm trying to be? I'm not seeing too many men at church either.
Basically I'm getting the sense that men my age:
- go to the club
- Bar
- Play video games
- watch espn
- work out at the gym
At work 30 year old men approach men and their perverts cause I look younger then I really am.

55-60 year old men approach me and I am nowhere near that age (I'm in my 20s). Most guys I have attracted are "throw-backs". The guys I meet at work do show some potential though.

 

[MissNina]

Well. . .the college life you see in the movies is all about nightclubs, joining some organization, going to games. . .etc. etc.

I go to a PWI as well and we have a lot more black women than men (well the ones we want especially ) and I have had absolutely NO PROBLEM meeting guys. None at all.

I'm pretty involved in about 5 different organizations with about 3 being "black specific", volunteer a lot, and was generally "on the scene". I don't have time to do ALL those things anymore (I'm a grad student now) but in undergrad I did it up!!!! I still make time to do some things and show my face here/there. I suggest you ladies do the same. . .esp. the college club nights, house parties and stuff.

I've made tons of people (aka GUYS) just having fun at the little the "black" events (u know what I mean, my fellow PWI attendee ). You might think you don't wanna get to know certain types of guys there dancing all , but trust you probably will find some of the same guys at the political forums on campus or find out they have 3.6 gpas. Never underestimate!

If you want to meet guys outside of the university system, go to lounges and poetry nights. Things like that with a grown and sexy vibe. Also, think of joining a youth urban league or get into some church activity. IDK about your school but ours has a church that some us go to on campus and more of a regular church not too far that a lot of us go to as well. If you can go there and get involved that would be good

Maybe you're looking too hard or something? IDK. You're in college. Live it up and they'll find you.