Home Bound First Dates

[LadyBugsy]

You meet a cute guy and you hit it off. After several phone/text conversations, he asks if you want to come over and watch a movie.

To me, this screams "broke/cheap/trying to get laid". I try to avoid it at all costs. Am I taking it too seriously?

 

[MzLady78]

You meet a cute guy and you hit it off. After several phone/text conversations, he asks if you want to come over and watch a movie.

To me, this screams "broke/cheap/trying to get laid". I try to avoid it at all costs. Am I taking it too seriously?

No, no and hell no. Chillin' at your house is not a date, buddy, you need to come harder.

 

[natural_one]

Have that man take you out...He needs to put some effort into the first date, and if you dont establish that now you may end up always having home dates.

 

[Keshieshimmer]

You meet a cute guy and you hit it off. After several phone/text conversations, he asks if you want to come over and watch a movie.

To me, this screams "broke/cheap/trying to get laid". I try to avoid it at all costs. Am I taking it too seriously?

In my day ( all 27 years old lol) watch a movie at my place = make out/ sex. He seems cheap or maybe not looking for anything serious. If he is strapped for cash why not a coffee or park date?

 

[Ediese]

You're absolutely correct. Don't do it.

I hate when guys try to run that game, or they invite themselves over for you to cook for them, or for them to cook for you. Uh uh! Cheap arse! I don't trust it one bit, at least not in the very beginning when he's suppose to be courting you.

 

[NaturalRed]

You meet a cute guy and you hit it off. After several phone/text conversations, he asks if you want to come over and watch a movie.

To me, this screams "broke/cheap/trying to get laid". I try to avoid it at all costs. Am I taking it too seriously?

No, you're not taking it too seriously. Most of the time "trying to get laid" is exactly what they are trying to do. I haven't had a "house date" yet where the guy didn't try. That's why I avoid them now. For a first or second date, if we're not going out (even if it's just for coffee or dessert), then we're not going.

 

[faithVA]

If you like him and want something serious, make him take you out SEVERAL times. Leave the house dates for later. For a guy house dates do equal getting some but it also screams you are just my friend, I'm not really that into you.

Unless you are cooking me dinner, after we have gone out more than a month I don't really have a lot of reasons to be at your house for more than 15 minutes. Let's go.

 

[ThickHair]

Check out this old thread. What counts as a date. http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=513733&highlight=dutch

 

[Do_Si_Dos]

You meet a cute guy and you hit it off. After several phone/text conversations, he asks if you want to come over and watch a movie.

To me, this screams "broke/cheap/trying to get laid". I try to avoid it at all costs. Am I taking it too seriously?

Alex, I'll take "trying to get laid" for $500.00 please!

 

[meesch]

You meet a cute guy and you hit it off. After several phone/text conversations, he asks if you want to come over and watch a movie.

To me, this screams "broke/cheap/trying to get laid". I try to avoid it at all costs. Am I taking it too seriously?

If a woman agrees to this, this is the problem that's going to come up over and over again in her relationship: you can't expect him to do something to keep you that he didn't do to get you. So why would he ever treat her with any greater caliber of respect and consideration than he did to start out with? Then the woman is going to complain "you never take me anywhere, you never have no money, you never spend me anything, you don't do anything to make me feel special" and he's like "well you never cared in the first place so why do you care now?" And honestly, it isn't fair to expect a guy to suddenly start treating you with different standards than your initial ones because you didn't understand that they were too low.

 

[Evolving78]

make his arse take you out!

 

[JayAnn0513]

Don't do it!!!! No house dates until you are exclusive. Make these men court you properly!!!!!!!

 

[LadyBugsy]

Wow! Thanks ladies. I was having this debate with a guy last night. He quickly suggested that we go do something else but it still rubbed me the wrong way.

OT: that link was great- thank you. It even had some replies from LHCF Royalty dlewis.

 

[bluediamond0829]

OMG I have to tell my best friend this all the time. It is not a date for you to go over to his house and chill and watch movies. That is called BORING/CHEAP/and trying to get some. I could do that at my house.

Now if you have been with this individual for a VERY long time then I could see it or even boyfriend/girlfriend the whole relationship thing then ok. But not when your getting to know someone.

 

[likewtr4chklit]

You meet a cute guy and you hit it off. After several phone/text conversations, he asks if you want to come over and watch a movie.

To me, this screams "broke/cheap/trying to get laid". I try to avoid it at all costs. Am I taking it too seriously?

I don't do it unless I'm ready for a one night stand. If I plan to date the dude we're gonna have to hang out in public, at the very least a local cafe.

 

[LadyBugsy]

Ladies, this was a first encounter since the initial meeting. Now he has his boxing draws in a bunch and called me superficial. Womp womp

 

[likewtr4chklit]

Ladies, this was a first encounter since the initial meeting. Now he has his boxing draws in a bunch and called me superficial. Womp womp

Superficial?? How so?

 

[Syrah]

I dunno - I wouldn't do that for safety reasons either. Fool, I don't know you. Lets be out somewhere in case I gotta scream and pepper-spray your behind.

Plus, dude, where is your pride? Take me out and wow me.

 

[natural_one]

Ladies, this was a first encounter since the initial meeting. Now he has his boxing draws in a bunch and called me superficial. Womp womp

The fact that he responded like that lets you know what his intentions were.

On to the next!

ETA: How did you tell him that you would rather go out?

 

[JayAnn0513]

Ladies, this was a first encounter since the initial meeting. Now he has his boxing draws in a bunch and called me superficial. Womp womp

He's cheap
Or
Broke
Or
trying to cluck

Either way I'd stop wasting my time and move on.

 

[MzLady78]

Ladies, this was a first encounter since the initial meeting. Now he has his boxing draws in a bunch and called me superficial. Womp womp

What a loser.

But it's always good when they show their a**** early and you don't waste too much time.

 

[LadyBugsy]

I told him I didn't know that they had re-released Love Jones at the movie theater and wanted to know where we were going to see it. He said I wanted you to come here and watch it. I told him I think it would be inappropriate. He asked Why? I said because I don't really know you like that. He said Well, what would be appropriate? I said Anywhere in public, like a movie theatre or park. He said So you just want me to spend some money? And it went haywire from there.

 

[growinghealthyhair]

So what do you ladies say to guys that suggest this??

 

[growinghealthyhair]

I told him I didn't know that they had re-released Love Jones at the movie theater and wanted to know where we were going to see it. He said I wanted you to come here and watch it. I told him I think it would be inappropriate. He asked Why? I said because I don't really know you like that. He said Well, what would be appropriate? I said Anywhere in public, like a movie theatre or park. He said So you just want me to spend some money? And it went haywire from there.

You spend money at a park?? You deserve a "dodged a bullet" party. I think you were really nice about it.

 

[LadyBugsy]

Response from friend 1:

I agree, but if you know the guy is broke or cheap and still like him than you have to just take that.

Response from friend 2:

The question is, where is he at in his plan of life? What is his plan, can you see yourself in that plan?


Again, this is a first encounter since the initial meeting. Roughly, 4 days ago. Should I even know his plan in life 4 days in? Am I really going at this dating thing all wrong because I feel slightly disrespected and my girls are acting like I did something wrong. Maybe it really is me but ... Ugggh

 

[MzLady78]

I told him I didn't know that they had re-released Love Jones at the movie theater and wanted to know where we were going to see it. He said I wanted you to come here and watch it. I told him I think it would be inappropriate. He asked Why? I said because I don't really know you like that. He said Well, what would be appropriate? I said Anywhere in public, like a movie theatre or park. He said So you just want me to spend some money? And it went haywire from there.

Girl, delete his number and keep it moving.

 

[MizAvalon]

Nope, nope, and more NOPE. I don't play that foolishness. Not on a second, third, fourth, or fifth date either.

If his funds are low then we will figure out a low cost date but there will be no chilling on a couch watching tv.

 

[JayAnn0513]

Response from friend 1:

I agree, but if you know the guy is broke or cheap and still like him than you have to just take that.

Response from friend 2:

The question is, where is he at in his plan of life? What is his plan, can you see yourself in that plan?


Again, this is a first encounter since the initial meeting. Roughly, 4 days ago. Should I even know his plan in life 4 days in? Am I really going at this dating thing all wrong because I feel slightly disrespected and my girls are acting like I did something wrong. Maybe it really is me but ... Ugggh

And what kind of men does friend 1 date?

 

[faithVA]

Response from friend 1:

I agree, but if you know the guy is broke or cheap and still like him than you have to just take that.

Response from friend 2:

The question is, where is he at in his plan of life? What is his plan, can you see yourself in that plan?


Again, this is a first encounter since the initial meeting. Roughly, 4 days ago. Should I even know his plan in life 4 days in? Am I really going at this dating thing all wrong because I feel slightly disrespected and my girls are acting like I did something wrong. Maybe it really is me but ... Ugggh

Trust yourself LadyBugsy. Your girlfriends don't know what they are talking about. If friend 1 is cool with it then pass him off to her. There is nothing you can do with a broke, cheap, uncreative man. And knowing someone's life plan this early on is way too much.

I agree with the others just let him go. Enjoy the few conversations you have had and move on. He is already speaking to you in a way that is not appropriate.

 

[hopeful]

I told him I didn't know that they had re-released Love Jones at the movie theater and wanted to know where we were going to see it. He said I wanted you to come here and watch it. I told him I think it would be inappropriate. He asked Why? I said because I don't really know you like that. He said Well, what would be appropriate? I said Anywhere in public, like a movie theatre or park. He said So you just want me to spend some money? And it went haywire from there.

What a jerk!

Response from friend 1:

I agree, but if you know the guy is broke or cheap and still like him than you have to just take that.

Response from friend 2:

The question is, where is he at in his plan of life? What is his plan, can you see yourself in that plan?

Again, this is a first encounter since the initial meeting. Roughly, 4 days ago. Should I even know his plan in life 4 days in? Am I really going at this dating thing all wrong because I feel slightly disrespected and my girls are acting like I did something wrong. Maybe it really is me but ... Ugggh

Girl, I'm glad you got LHCF cause your friends sound a little cray cray. I'm sure they are nice and all but really now. The thing is that if people have low standards for themselves they will have low standards for you as well. You were polite and honest with the guy and he showed his true colors: cheap and selfish. He can so keep it moving. And no it is not you, he and your friends are trippin'.