His E-mail to me{A little guidance, please.}

[BrooklynSouth]

Goodness, I feel really out of practice, last date was years ago.

His e-mail:
"Do you want to meet...or talk on the phone?
I'm not much of an e-mailer..takes forever to get to know how you feel over e-mail...phone is a little better."

My reply.
"Phone sounds fine." I did not give my phone number nor request his...just those three words. Local guy, about 5 years older than me. We've exchanged about four e-mails so far.

 

[kandake]

Why didn't you give him your number? Email him back and include your phone number if you want to continue talking.

 

[DarkHair]

LOL, girl give that man your number. I agree with him, it is hard to get to know someone over email. I wouldn't know anything about an emailship, we had dial-up back when I was dating

 

[Bunny77]

Yep, I'd say pass on your phone number.

And this is just me, but I like to meet ASAP as well. Sometimes you can get caught up in an e-romance and then you get a big letdown in person because you built him up to be more based on e-mails, IMs and phone calls.

But if you're not ready for that, definitely give him your number so he can call!

 

[sky_blu]

If anything I would give my number, if I felt comfortable enough to do so.

 

[BrooklynSouth]

Why didn't you give him your number? Email him back and include your phone number if you want to continue talking.

No number given because I was hoping he'd give me his #. I am so rusty so unsure about the internet dating protocol.

Yep, I'd say pass on your phone number.

And this is just me, but I like to meet ASAP as well. Sometimes you can get caught up in an e-romance and then you get a big letdown in person because you built him up to be more based on e-mails, IMs and phone calls.

But if you're not ready for that, definitely give him your number so he can call!

I know sadly all about that "Caught up in an e-romance" thing-nearly 2 years of phone and e-mail before the meetup. I am still a good phone/e-mail pal with someone from a long distance thing but you are right..it never turned into anything lasting romantically after a few meetings.

If anything I would give my number, if I felt comfortable enough to do so.

Considering giving him the cell #.

 

[Flavia]

Yep, I'd say pass on your phone number.

And this is just me, but I like to meet ASAP as well. Sometimes you can get caught up in an e-romance and then you get a big letdown in person because you built him up to be more based on e-mails, IMs and phone calls.

But if you're not ready for that, definitely give him your number so he can call!

Thats funny you said that. I know a "couple" that have been doing this for almost 5 years

I just stopped questioning it.

 

[Bunny77]

Thats funny you said that. I know a "couple" that have been doing this for almost 5 years

I just stopped questioning it.

5 years, OMG!!!!!

In five years, you could have met, dated a year or two, gotten engaged, married and had a baby or have one on the way.

Hecks naw to a five-year e-romance... please. Ole girl needs to WAKE UP!!!

 

[Bunny77]

No number given because I was hoping he'd give me his #. I am so rusty so unsure about the internet dating protocol.



I know sadly all about that "Caught up in an e-romance" thing-nearly 2 years of phone and e-mail before the meetup. I am still a good phone/e-mail pal with someone from a long distance thing but you are right..it never turned into anything lasting romantically after a few meetings.



Considering giving him the cell #.

Well, I'd say do what feels comfortable. If you'd prefer to call him, tell him so.

I like a man to call me, but you do what feels safe and best for you. I understand the concern about giving him your number, so you could ask for his and make the call first.

 

[BrooklynSouth]

Thats funny you said that. I know a "couple" that have been doing this for almost 5 years

I just stopped questioning it.

Five years? Looks as though one or both is not ready yet for the real thing. I knew I wasn't so was quite 'satisfied' with my make believe boyfriend for a while.[ I'm sure the one you know personally constantly tells you.."You don't understand." Been there[/B].FONT]

 

[kayte]

No number given because I was hoping he'd give me his #. I am so rusty so unsure about the internet dating protocol.

Emails like that irritate me as he's suggesting the phone
but then leaving it to you ..to figure out how to coordinate that.....

In a case like this..where..you prefer to get his number first and that is my usual practice...though sometimes there are exceptions
you might have to actually say that..but your first answer was a good lead-in..
it put the ball back in his court to ask or give the number

you can help it along..if need be

Here was an email convo I had
the guy had asked virtually the same thing!
he said something like after 2/3 emails

so what's the next step ...meeting or phone?

here's how it went down


Phone sounds cool~~~
..if you wanna leave a number
Sure,it'd be fun to chat
~~K

Hey K,
Give me a call, if I am busy I will call you back.
J
222-222-2222


I was like ...oh yeahhhhhhhhhh?
really?

here's what I said

J-thanks for the heads-up..
I don't give out my phone number right away
sorry if that wasn't clear..when I asked for yours.

I'll try you on your weekend..
and if you're busy....ah..well.
lol...
K



Hey,
No worries!
Just give me more than 1 chance in case I miss you!
J





Hope that helped...
but everyone is different!

 

[ThatJerseyGirl]

Ok..so his question was do you want to meet or over the phone.


I would opt for Meet up. Over the phone is way to easy. I mean really...

let him take you out to dinner and get to know you that way. Let him make the effort, this way you can watch his mannerism, responses, etc. Dayum da phone. He gave you an option, so choose wisely.

 

[Poohbear]

I would say meet first (during the day on a weekend) before giving out your phone number. Once you two meet and see how he is in person, then exchange numbers if you want further contact with each other.

 

[BrooklynSouth]

I know giving a "THANKS" is not going to put any coin in your pockets but I appreciate the replies-many have viewed but no comments-I want those comments!! I have not heard from him since the reply in my original post-only been a day or so. I really do not want to make a mistake with this one. He is literate, educated and I love that he has had a career in book publishing, has a recent career in NYC schools education; likes many of the low key activities which match mine-auctions, museums, books, loves being in a crowd but not the center of attention. I'm staying optimistic but not thinking HE IS THE ONE-new for me..usually thinking is he the one! Would love to meet him but want to see how we vibe over the phone first.Dang, seriously..I just want to go hang out with a MAN.

 

[Filmatic]

Since you already told him you wanted the phone you can have one quick phone call to set up the first date. Don't wait too long if you aren't far from each other. I think having long phonemances is a waste of time if you are within 45 mins of each other.

If not send an email and tell him you want to meet when he sends you one back. He'd probably trying to figure you out since you didn't send your number.

 

[BrooklynSouth]

He sent his #!! Just looked on my 'disposable' e-mail address to discover he mailed it last night. I'll call him tomorrow for around a 10 minute call{-almost 10pm now}to hear his speaking voice and see how it goes.

 

[kayte]

Would love to meet him but want to see how we vibe over the phone first.Dang, seriously..I just want to go hang out with a MAN.

I do the same thing if it's internet dating....I screen by phone with HIS number...and
depending how it goes...then give him my number and then meet

He sent his #!!

oooooooohh

Just looked on my 'disposable' e-mail address to discover he mailed it last night. I'll call him tomorrow for around a 10 minute call{-almost 10pm now}to hear his speaking voice and see how it goes.

G'one w/ya bad self!

 

[hopeful]

Good luck OP. I'm glad he e-mailed back.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Wow...hope everything works out!!

I would have given him MY number, so that if he wanted to call me, he could have. That way, you always leave the ball in HIS court from the get-go...at least in the beginning.

But go ahead girl and call that dude if he's as great as you say. But from here on out, I would let him initiate most (if not all) of the calls in the first few weeks/or beginning stages.

 

[BrooklynSouth]

Wow...hope everything works out!!

I would have given him MY number, so that if he wanted to call me, he could have. That way, you always leave the ball in HIS court from the get-go...at least in the beginning.

But go ahead girl and call that dude if he's as great as you say. But from here on out, I would let him initiate most (if not all) of the calls in the first few weeks/or beginning stages.

Exactly my plan. Once I make the initial call, feel him out over the phone, determine he is fairly 'normal' I will give him my cell phone number so he will be the caller.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

I wanna hear how it goes over the phone, and if y'all make a date. Keep us posted!

 

[PittiPat]

Ummmm............ am I back too early? [checking for updates lol]

 

[BrooklynSouth]

Called him, not available, left my cell#. He called me back on Friday. We spoke for 20 minutes instead of 10-both a bit nervous-he 'seemed' normal. Talked about the weather, his home town, biking, our general locations in Brooklyn, our careers. Conversation was nice, light, no intense inquiries...I did not want to initiate a meeting although I was hoping he'd do so. Eventually comfortable conversation ended by my saying how nice it was that he'd called with an enjoyable conversation. Should he call again, cool..if not also OK.

 

[BrooklynSouth]

A little update:
His e-mail to me:

"Anyway, I'm interested in getting to know you better if you're still interested, but be warned, I'm a great procrastinator and don't jump into the getting to know process readily...I like to take things slow. For example: I often will buy new clothes and not wear them for months because I don't want to get to "know" them. My tendency is to resist rushing in."

My response to him:
"Procrastination is like mast**bation {self pleasure}, feels good until you realize you are just screwing yourself!" Comparing me to new clothing . Besides that nonsense, he heard Puppygurl bark then said he is 'allergic' to dogs...evn though I told him Westies are non-allergenic. NEXT!!!!

 

[Bunny77]

Ugh, what an idiot. Glad you kicked him to the curb!!!!

No, I would NOT be interested in getting to know him better under those circumstances!

 

[laCriolla]

A little update:
His e-mail to me:

"Anyway, I'm interested in getting to know you better if you're still interested, but be warned, I'm a great procrastinator and don't jump into the getting to know process readily...I like to take things slow. For example: I often will buy new clothes and not wear them for months because I don't want to get to "know" them. My tendency is to resist rushing in."

My response to him:
"Procrastination is like mast**bation {self pleasure}, feels good until you realize you are just screwing yourself!" Comparing me to new clothing . Besides that nonsense, he heard Puppygurl bark then said he is 'allergic' to dogs...evn though I told him Westies are non-allergenic. NEXT!!!!

ugh and he started out so promising. Sounds like he got scared and then shot himself in the foot.

anyway any westie-hater HAS TO GO! how can you hate a westie?

 

[vevster]

Wow, that was a strange(but not surprising) turn out. He dumped all his ISH on you to see if you would pick it up.

 

[ThickHair]

................NM