Her hair makes me want to cry

[brg240]

Help with my Mom's Hair 2.0

Relaxed ladies, a few months ago I made a thread about the state of my mom's hair and I'm back again.

This morning my mom said she was going to relax her hair because her edges weren't straight. (.5" of new growth) I tried to tell her I could make it straight without the relaxer and that she did promise that she'd let me do her hair but she refused. She wouldn't even let me comb her hair.

Anyway she relaxed and unlike last time where it felt very waxy this time it feels a bit hard or in the very least not soft. I also noticed that it has broke off quite a bit. (It used to be all the same length)

Can any of you ladies help? Why would her hair be hard? I don't know what to do at all. Does she need to deep condition, protein treatment? :/ What would you all do?

 

[song_of_serenity]

Not sure but BUMPING for you!! The hardness sounds like she may need moisture. Did they wash the relaxer out properly??!

 

[Nonie]

@brg240, I don't know how old your mom is but there could be other things like changes in her body that occur during menopause and after that can lead to thinning hair. Thinning hair implies hair loss which could be from poor health care or really some alopecia that can happen with aging or due to hereditary factors. I agree with song_of_serenity that hardness could be from lacking moisture which means DCing may help. Aveda Damage Remedy is not cheap but DCing with it can turn around hair in a major way. I believe Roux PC can help too in adding moisture to hair.

I know how you feel coz it'd hurt me to see someone I cared for looking so bad and if she won't let me help, I'd feel really hopeless. But perhaps she'll have to see for herself how bad things are to want to make a change. She may not realize how thin her hair is because she doesn't see LHCF-like full heads of hair in real life. Maybe the day you wear your hair straight, it'll wake her up? In the meantime, short of praying that she may listen to you, I don't know how you will be able to get through to her.

My mom is pretty stubborn but I was lucky that when I saw her abusing her hair by raking a comb through it dry with only grease in it and cringed, she was open to hear my suggestion. She has no patience when it comes to vanity if it takes more than 5 minutes so I was surprised she agreed to DC and then to airdry in Curlformers. And now she's a juicer and no longer uses heat to dry or straighten her hair.

So you may have to use some psychology--you know your mom and how to make her come around--to get her to "try something you just saw being raved about"...and wondered if it worked. Or you may have to consider something like Diva Smooth which has to be better than relaxing too often. Those who used it said it really left their hair feeling moisturized. And those who actually looked into the product said it was similar to the caramal treatment people use to soften their hair. Not sure about the accuracy of those statements but you can read about it in several threads on the forum like this one:
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/forum6/thread323919-2.html

Also BlackHairDiva recently posted a review about it here.

 

[brg240]

Not sure but BUMPING for you!! The hardness sounds like she may need moisture. Did they wash the relaxer out properly??!

Aww thanks, she later told me that it was the setting lotion that made it hard. So I prematurely freaked out. It's no longer hard though but it's not soft either. I definitely think she needs some type of deep moisturizing treatment.

@brg240, I don't know how old your mom is but there could be other things like changes in her body that occur during menopause and after that can lead to thinning hair. Thinning hair implies hair loss which could be from poor health care or really some alopecia that can happen with aging or due to hereditary factors. I agree with song_of_serenity that hardness could be from lacking moisture which means DCing may help. Aveda Damage Remedy is not cheap but DCing with it can turn around hair in a major way. I believe Roux PC can help too in adding moisture to hair.

I know how you feel coz it'd hurt me to see someone I cared for looking so bad and if she won't let me help, I'd feel really hopeless. But perhaps she'll have to see for herself how bad things are to want to make a change. She may not realize how thin her hair is because she doesn't see LHCF-like full heads of hair in real life. Maybe the day you wear your hair straight, it'll wake her up? In the meantime, short of praying that she may listen to you, I don't know how you will be able to get through to her.

My mom is pretty stubborn but I was lucky that when I saw her abusing her hair by raking a comb through it dry with only grease in it and cringed, she was open to hear my suggestion. She has no patience when it comes to vanity if it takes more than 5 minutes so I was surprised she agreed to DC and then to airdry in Curlformers. And now she's a juicer and no longer uses heat to dry or straighten her hair.

So you may have to use some psychology--you know your mom and how to make her come around--to get her to "try something you just saw being raved about"...and wondered if it worked. Or you may have to consider something like Diva Smooth which has to be better than relaxing too often. Those who used it said it really left their hair feeling moisturized. And those who actually looked into the product said it was similar to the caramal treatment people use to soften their hair. Not sure about the accuracy of those statements but you can read about it in several threads on the forum like this one:
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/forum6/thread323919-2.html

Also BlackHairDiva recently posted a review about it here.

Thanks so much nonie
I think I may have freaked out a little much before because the thinness I saw didn't pick up on camera and her ponytail isn't so tiny anymore. Though I think your right about it needing moisture it still feels off. I sadly can't afford Aveda (and I'm not actually sure what Roux PC is) but I'm going to go search through some of the relaxed threads on products they use for moisturizing.

That's great about your mom, my mom says my hair is my idol and I take way to long on it so she's not exactly interested in my advice. If I can find something that's quick I might be able to convince her to give it a try.

I'm going to check out the Diva Smooth, I hadn't heard of it before.

 

[Solitude]

Girl, good luck. I've been trying to work with my mama forever. She loves my hair, but still doesn't take my advice. The first step is her cooperation.

Back on topic, is KeraCare in your budget? I find that if I buy my mom products, she will at least use them.

 

[brg240]

Girl, good luck. I've been trying to work with my mama forever. She loves my hair, but still doesn't take my advice. The first step is her cooperation.

Back on topic, is KeraCare in your budget? I find that if I buy my mom products, she will at least use them.

thanks, she thinks I spend too much time on my hair and isn't interested in that but really that's really only detangling time, she wouldn't have to deal with that.
haha not really, I'm about to buy school books. I can't buy my burt's bees for myself right now But I guess I could make an investment if I can't find anything else.

Also, your hair is gorgeous

 

[Solitude]

thanks, she thinks I spend too much time on my hair and isn't interested in that but really that's really only detangling time, she wouldn't have to deal with that.
haha not really, I'm about to buy school books. I can't buy my burt's bees for myself right now But I guess I could make an investment if I can't find anything else.

Also, your hair is gorgeous

Awwww, thank you!