Help! Perfect Man...but doesn't speak English!

[pink gator]

Have any of you dated a man who doesn't speak your language?

Was it successful? How did you handle it?

Here's my story; sorry that it's kinda long:

On my way back from France a couple weeks ago, I met this FOINE brother at Charles De Gaulle airport.

I saw him scoping me when I was checking into my flight but didn't think much about it.

A few minutes later, he approached me in a gift shop.

He asked if I spoke French...I replied yes, but not fluently.

I asked if he spoke English...nope. France, born and raised.

So he introduced himself, 6-3, 28, semi-pro soccer player, lingerie designer (wow), with athletic/model looks--think Terrell Owens (I know him personally and can attest to his fine-ness), but with a cuter mug, and has a 5-year-old daughter. Capricorn...and wanted to holla; he didn't believe or care that I was 41.

Wanted to get to know me better, even though I was heading back to ATL and he was flying to London for business. We talked some more until we had to board our flights and exchanged contact info.

I'm thinking he would be totally perfect if he only spoke more English and if I had kept up with my French hadn't been used in nearly 20 years.

He texts every morning and tells me in French that he enjoyed meeting me...can't wait to see me again...I am beautiful...how is my day going...how he can't get me out of his mind...blah-blah. I reply back but I get frustrated because I REALLY wanna get to know him better and that means that he needs to learn more English!

I recently started my French refresher lessons--not only for him, but for a couple business ventures--and am doing my part.

He will be here at the end of the month to visit for a few days and I'm wringing my hands because we might have a hard time communicating--and I'm a talker!

What should I do? Should I tell him to take English lessons (even his cousin told him that he should have BEEN taking them, as it's a good thing to know in this global/cultural market) or am I being selfish?

 

[Bunny77]

Yeah, I dated a Spaniard when I was studying abroad back in the day in Spain.

He spoke no English. So we had to do everything in Spanish.

I guess it coulda worked, but when I got mad at him, I automatically switched into black-inflected English and he couldn't understand a word I was saying.

Oh well, it was fun... memories....

My Spanish did get real good though!

 

[pink gator]

Yeah, I dated a Spaniard when I was studying abroad back in the day in Spain.

He spoke no English. So we had to do everything in Spanish.

I guess it coulda worked, but when I got mad at him, I automatically switched into black-inflected English and he couldn't understand a word I was saying.

Oh well, it was fun... memories....

My Spanish did get real good though!

That's what's up!

What I've learned that a LOT of black European men want to date (American/Caribbean) sistahs because of our "flava", but they gotta meet us halfway and learn some English! LOL!

 

[tilati]

I don't think you are beeing selfish... he could learn a little english and you could step up your french lessons...
BTW, there is nobody under 40 in France who speak NO english at all ladies. We have to study english from 11 years old to at least 16 y/o, so eveybody knows the basics, but we are often ashamed to speak because our accent is not so good

 

[pink gator]

I don't think you are beeing selfish... he could learn a little english and you could step up your french lessons...
BTW, there is nobody under 40 in France who speak NO english at all ladies. We have to study english from 11 years old to at least 16 y/o, so eveybody knows the basics, but we are often ashamed to speak because our accent is not so good

For real???

He speaks a LITTLE...like Hello... I love you...I miss you... no problem...but nothing too deep.

But you're right: I need to step up my French lessons! I started back a couple days ago, hoping to resume my former fluency in six months.

 

[tilati]

For real???

He speaks a LITTLE...like Hello... I love you...I miss you... no problem...but nothing too deep.

But you're right: I need to step up my French lessons! I started back a couple days ago, hoping to resume my former fluency in six months.

Yeah that's what happen when you don't practise on the regular, but give him a little more time and I'm sure you 'll see that he knows more that you thought

I'm glad you started back your french lessons, feel free to ask me if you need help

 

[Keen]

I don't think you are beeing selfish... he could learn a little english and you could step up your french lessons...
BTW, there is nobody under 40 in France who speak NO english at all ladies. We have to study english from 11 years old to at least 16 y/o, so eveybody knows the basics, but we are often ashamed to speak because our accent is not so good

That's what I think but my roommate and some friends swear it's because French are arrogant and want you to speak their language.

 

[pink gator]

Merci! Merci! Merci beaucoup! on the offer, Tilati!

Yeah, I've been entrenched in Ebonic/Sistah-Speak Land after I graduated college; nobody spoke French in my circle LOL! So I lost it all.

Being in France for two weeks really gave me an immersion course, although my host spoke fluent English, he'd flip the script on me sometimes and ask me stuff in French or give me me his film scripts to translate. If my tongue can keep up with my fingers and my brains, I think I'll be really good!

He's a really awesome guy--from what I gather thus far. He's worth it.

 

[pink gator]

That's what I think but my roommate and some friends swear it's because French are arrogant and want you to speak their language.[/quote]

I've heard that too!

But on the other hand, I personally think that we Americans should step up to the plate and learn other languages, too! Our country is international in itself!

 

[natural2008]

my cousins husband lives in African and speaks many languages, but French is their main language. she knew French already but had to get better and he is learning English. go for it girl .

 

[oldcrayons]

Be careful. American women are known for being very easy to bed in Europe. Make sure his intentions are genuine.

 

[Bunny77]

Be careful. American women are known for being very easy to bed in Europe. Make sure his intentions are genuine.

Oh yeah, I remember that idea!

Czech Republic eh? Cool! Are you native to the country?

 

[pink gator]

Be careful. American women are known for being very easy to bed in Europe. Make sure his intentions are genuine.

For real? I didn't know that!

Well, it ain't gonna be THAT kind of party, I'll say! LOL!

I could get silly game like that run on me in the United States.

 

[oldcrayons]

For real? I didn't know that!

Well, it ain't gonna be THAT kind of party, I'll say! LOL!

I could get silly game like that run on me in the United States.

The problem is that when American women go overseas and a man speaks with his ~accent they kinda jump in bed with them because they think they're romantic. They're just playing them. I remember an American men was visiting one of the countries in Western Europe and the Inn owner told him that he can sleep with his girlfriend because she's an American and in the other room. So, don't be so willing to drop yo pants )

I'm not a native of Czech Republic, I just go to school in Olomouc.

 

[Belle Creole]

Be careful. American women are known for being very easy to bed in Europe. Make sure his intentions are genuine.

I was just thinking this. They also for some reason find us generous/wealthy so sometimes the intentions aren't always pure. Remember Americans are targeted for a variety of reasons. Take your time in getting to know him BTW, communication is key in building a relationship and getting to know the person [including their intentions] so think hard on this.

HTH

 

[pink gator]

I was just thinking this. They also for some reason find us generous/wealthy so sometimes the intentions aren't always pure. Remember Americans are targeted for a variety of reasons. Take your time in getting to know him BTW, communication is key in building a relationship and getting to know the person [including their intentions] so think hard on this.

HTH

Duly noted.

So...Belle Creole and Old Crayons: Are black American women are viewed the same as white American women as far as values? Of course we're not the same--ideal-wise, among MANY other things.

I was just wondering.

 

[drasgrl]

Yeah. I had sort of a FWB situation with a Japanese guy when I lived in Taiwan. He spoke English but it wasn't great. His Chinese was a lot better than his English. Sometimes he didn't know what I was talking about but he did ok. It was barely just enough.

 

[pink gator]

Yeah. I had sort of a FWB situation with a Japanese guy when I lived in Taiwan. He spoke English but it wasn't great. His Chinese was a lot better than his English. Sometimes he didn't know what I was talking about but he did ok. It was barely just enough.

Forgive me, but what does "FWB" mean?

 

[lovely008]

Forgive me, but what does "FWB" mean?

Friend with Benefits!

 

[pink gator]

Ahhh! Thank you!!!

Far more classy than saying "jump-off"!

 

[Belle Creole]

Duly noted.

So...Belle Creole and Old Crayons: Are black American women are viewed the same as white American women as far as values? Of course we're not the same--ideal-wise, among MANY other things.

I was just wondering.

Well...The curious thing to me is that in "Europe" especially the western part i.e. France Black men typically date white women. Black women are viewed by black men as a last resort. Sorry my experience. I got a lot of stares and "note worthy" glances, the type that says "ummm your a cutie", but I only date white women . The truth behind that is that the women they date make it impossible for them (blk men) to do otherwise. Women over there a very generous and desperate acting. I believe that Black American women are under estimated and Americans in general are looked at as gullible laking depth. I encountered this several times. What are your experiences oldcrayons ?

 

[Belle Creole]

Ahhh! Thank you!!!

Far more classy than saying "jump-off"!

LOLOLOLOLOLOL

 

[Ballerina_Bun]

I've dated a Swede that barely spoke english. I've dated a German too that knew english very well, but we only spoke german and swedish together. I haven't had any experience with french men. Have fun ....

 

[oldcrayons]

Well...The curious thing to me is that in "Europe" especially the western part i.e. France Black men typically date white women. Black women are viewed by black men as a last resort. Sorry my experience. I got a lot of stares and "note worthy" glances, the type that says "ummm your a cutie", but I only date white women . The truth behind that is that the women they date make it impossible for them (blk men) to do otherwise. Women over there a very generous and desperate acting. I believe that Black American women are under estimated and Americans in general are looked at as gullible laking depth. I encountered this several times. What are your experiences oldcrayons ?

Well, I don't date Black men They're usually Asian or Slavic

 

[oldcrayons]

Oh yeah, I remember that idea!

Czech Republic eh? Cool! Are you native to the country?

I'm American

Duly noted.

So...Belle Creole and Old Crayons: Are black American women are viewed the same as white American women as far as values? Of course we're not the same--ideal-wise, among MANY other things.

I was just wondering.

Actually, European men love Black women from my experience. I think they probably view us in a better light than White American women, but that is just my opinion. A lot of times European guys have told me they hate how Americans treat Black people.

 

[Bunny77]

double post!

 

[Bunny77]

I'm American

Cool! So what took you to the Czech Republic? Are you in a study abroad program? I always love to hear about black American women living and studying abroad!

 

[pink gator]

Well...The curious thing to me is that in "Europe" especially the western part i.e. France Black men typically date white women. Black women are viewed by black men as a last resort.

Hmmm... my French friend (not the one who's visiting next week) told me that he hasn't dated any French black women since 2001 because he says that they are "difficult"; so all of his subsequent women have been white. But he swears that he and his friends would give their right arm for a black American woman, but they're so few over there and the ones who are there are dating white men.

 

[rdm]

Yeah that's what happen when you don't practise on the regular, but give him a little more time and I'm sure you 'll see that he knows more that you thought

I'm glad you started back your french lessons, feel free to ask me if you need help

That is really nice of you to help out!!!

 

[Belle Creole]

Hmmm... my French friend (not the one who's visiting next week) told me that he hasn't dated any French black women since 2001 because he says that they are "difficult"; so all of his subsequent women have been white. But he swears that he and his friends would give their right arm for a black American woman, but they're so few over there and the ones who are there are dating white men.

Mmmmm....I'm not sure if he is being completely honest. French black women are "difficult"? That is typically the complaint that American Blk men here use. I would ask him whom does he find more generous, then you'll get closer to the truth. I've dated black and white and now I've decided I will date neither.