HELP!! I am losing motivation.......Who is 4a/4b?

[Dyzne]

DON'T LET THE LENGTH OF THIS POST DETER YOU..... PLEASE KEEP READING I NEED YOUR HELP.....
I am 4a/4b and I am new to the site and I've made my decision to grow my hair healthy, long and strong. But I am losing my motivation. Can I really grow my hair (4a/4b texture)to great lenghths without being multiracial. Please don't take this wrong I love those out there that are mutiracial (I wish I was) and you are my inspiration I envy you (probably too much), even my son is multiracial. I just want it so bad and I can't seem to find or even know what the right combination is. Please give me guidance if you are a 4a/4b what is your length and if you don't mind please include your regimen and / or photo so that I know its possible. What is the longest this hair type can grow. It seems that 3's and below have the best outcomes. I want this so bad I'm sick.

I could never admit this to anyone except you guys because only you really understand. And I know (or at least hope) that a year from now I will be laughing about how I feel right now. Please help me you are the ones I trust. PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T WANT TO WEAR WIGS ANYMORE.

 

[DahomeyAhosi]

If you need some inspiration just look at my sister's hair a couple of years ago before she cut it all off(pic link below). We are both 4a/b and pure West Africans. My hair is relaxed, about 3 inches above brastrap, and very strong because it's been through a lot. I use curl products for ultimate moisture, take a bunch of vitamins, and wear protective styles most of the time. There are plenty of 4a/b ladies with long hair on here. I think Den1 and Supergirl are 4 a/b and they have gorgeous, long hair.

 

[Dyzne]

thank you so much for taking the time you are an absolute ANGEL. the vitamins are the toughest (bargello) I put it all in a protein shake, mix and drink in the mornings. so hard to do but i guess i'll keep going. thanks again.

 

[katie]

I used to feel like that too.I never saw anyone with my hairtype get very long hair.My hair has at its longest been nape length even when I was natural.Through better hair practices I am now an inch from shoulder length.This is a huge,huge deal for me.I seriously thought it impossible esp since my entire family on both sides is 4a/b with very short hair.
I think it is important to find the right products for you.When I joined this board and started taking care of my hair I was having bad breakage still no matter what I did.I blamed it on my hair type just being impossible to take care of.Then I switched shampoos and bought a shower comb.That completely turned around my hair.My hair is healthy and no longer breaking and I can definitely see myself reaching bra strap or beyond someday.
Anyway,the point is you just need to experiment a bit to find the right combination of stuff that works for you.It is really trial and error.And always stick with what works.HTH

 

[dontspeakdefeat]

I can be done and we have several ladies on here with 4a hair that have done it.

Just go through and check out some of the members pics. You will be pleasantly suprised!

 

[fine_beauty]

I am 4a/b ... don't know my true hair length but if I bend my head backwards, the tip of my hair can almost reach the horizontal hook of my bra (don't know if this makes sense). We are capable of having very long hair. My own challenge is growing my scanty edges out.
Good luck Dzyne and don't give up... you're the boss lady of your hair

 

[Dyzne]

Thank you so much for taking the time. You ladies are just like sisters I wish I had (sorry to be so mushy) I really appreciate you taking the time. This is so important to me and I knew you would understand. thank you thank you thank you

 

[HotCoCoGurl130]

Dont give up. I am your hair type and my hair is coming along fine. I think we just need love and patience for our hair. I wash 3-5 times a week with creme of nature and I condition with infusium. I do all this in sections. I also have recent pics below. The main thing is just finding out what regime is right for you.

 

[jainygirl]

Aweee Dyzne you're tugging at my heart strings

Yes you CAN grow your hair out to great lengths

I am DEFINITELY 4a/4b and my family has always told me that i'm lucky because whenever i'm not chopping off my hair it grows really fast. And i'm a little cocoapuff in my family (chocolate one in the group

)don't worry about having to be biracial or having a certain hairtype

My husband is jamaican with very curly fine hair and he is always going on and on about how he likes my hair and how thick and pretty it is. (i hate to ruin his fun by telling him that my family has already spoiled me into knowing i'm cute

) so i bask in his attention

Just continue taking care of your hair and coming here for lots of friendly advice and you will be just fine

--jainygirl

 

[Nanyanika]

I'm 4a/4b natural and two inches from waist length when stretched. Please don't give up, you can achieve your goals just look at all the beautiful heads on this forum

Take at look at my hair regime and photos, below HTH. Send me a PM if you need any more advice

 

[soulchild]

Hang in there Dzyne! I understand what you're going through and we're here for you. Keep reading everything on this board, it's been a big help for me. And continue posting questions you have and about your problem areas, you'll get a lot of support. PM me anytime.

 

[brittanynic16]

I think the first thing that you should do it love and appreciate yourself and who you are. If you do not do that then you can not better yourself. If you look at your hair and race in a negative light then you will never be happy with what you have, hair or other wise. I believe your hair reflexes the attitude you have about it. I have never seen a person who truly hates their hair will beautiful hair. Love and appreciate what God gave you because it is a beautiful thing. Yes, people of other races and multi races have beautiful hair but that does not mean that it is more beautiful than yours, just different. I conclusion, look around the board and you will find inspiring stories. I hope here you can find the right tools and outlook to make your hair dreams come true.

 

[adrienne0914]

dzyne, i know exactly how you feel. i struggled for almost 20 years with my hair at the same length. the thing that determined my making progress was not my hair type but mostly changing some bad habits.

i know it can be frustrating, but i'm here to tell you that it CAN be done! the only thing that beats a failure is a try... don't give up!

 

[Stylepink]

I have 4a/b hair and I remember feeling just like you when I came to this board exactly one year ago. I was frustrated and in tears and felt I would never have the long beautiful hair I wanted so badly. But, I stuck with this and grew 8 inches of hair this year! The best advise I can give you is to condition and moisturize like crazy! Keep your ends moist and soft to retain length and you will see results. It will be a challenge, but anything worth having is worth the challenge. Good luck and we're behind you all the way!

 

[douglala]

I also have type 4a/b hair. And in my opinion it is one of the hardest hair types to manage. I have been on this board for 6 months and I have turned my hair around completly with all the advice that I have received from everyone on this board. The key is to keep your hair moisturized. Your hair is going to grow. The question is how much of it can you retain without it breaking. Remember(as someone else on this board said). "Hair is like money, it is not what you make it is how much you keep"

 

[Zoe]

I think you should be more concerned with growing HEALTHY hair then growing LONG hair...

What would be the point of having long hair to your bottom and the ends are raggedy and its damaged...

Having Long hair isn't the end of the world

 

[AJamericanDiva]

Hey! I am 4a/4b... If I could get my scanner up and running, I'd show you pics of my natural hair so you'd believe me. (I've long since returned to a relaxer.)Moisture, strenghtening and deep conditioning are key. TLC is a must!!! I am happy with the progress my hair is making. I am gaining length because I've learned the proper way to care for my hair. My photos probably aren't helpful as they haven't been updated, but here's a friend of mine who's also 4a.... Goldie's Album I hope this helps!!!

 

[ms_kenesha]

Hi

I'm a 4A/B with collarbone length hair and I too once thought my hair would never be really long, but since "meeting" all of the great women on this site I am convinced that I can.

I do think that it may take a little bit more work in helping your hair to grow to it's full potential than soeone with a less dry or less tight curl pattern, but it is not impossible.

If you look at my picture album my hair basically stayed the same length from age 2-12!!! But as I got older and began taking care of my own hair it's been growing even better and now with this forum my hair is the longest it's ever been. Though it's not currently to bra-strap I know that I'll make it their within a year with the healthy hair habits I've learned from this site!

 

[loverofnaps71]

Hey, I'm giving you a HUGE

! Most of us have struggled with notions of beauty, and even I, as a nappy-head, have faced a tremendous amount of grief from family, friends, and strangers about my hair. It's very interesting because Europeans created the same standards of beauty that dictated that 1, 2, 3's are beautiful and 4's are substandard; yet, those SAME people seem most fascinated about our hair and give the most compliments. I have 3c/4a with some 4b mixed in at the base. I receive the most compliments and awe from 1, 2, 3's. The lesson is that no one is wholly satisfied with what God has given them...their God-given beauty. The challenge is to learn to love that beauty, to embrace it fully! I used to think as you do--that type 4 hair would just not grow. Since I've been natural, I've seen my hair grow an amazing 8 inches *UNPRESSED* since I did the BIG CHOP this time last year. So, now if you calculate this, along with a drastic change in diet, exercise, vitamin regimen, water intake, etc., I can expect to have at least 16" by this time next year [emphasis on 'AT LEAST']. So, in other words, the fallacy that type 4 hair will not grow is disproved by beautiful natural sisters, such as Den1, who is a true inspiration for all naturals and Type 4's who believe that they will never grow long hair. My hats off to all of you amazing women who have remained faithful and patient. Hang in there, Dzyne! Your dream of beautiful and HEALTHY long hair WILL become a reality with discipline and patience. You're going to be just fine, girl! Keep you head up! ALWAYS!

 

[Mariaat40]

Be encouraged. I've got 4A type hair. When I first started reading the hair boards (before this wonderful board was in existence) my hair was a few inches above my shoulders (at the longest,half of that length at the crown) and breaking. Now it is just above my shoulder blades, even, healthy, and growing. It takes patience and care but the rewards are definitely worth it. As a side benefit, the healthy foods I began eating and the supplements I take have improved my health overall. Lawd knows why it took my "hair" to encourage me to make healthy changes.

 

[miss_brown]

DITTO, Zoe and loverofnaps71.

My first advice would to exercise self-love. I'm a little puzzled by the comment about the fascination with multiracial people, but moreover, God made you beautiful AS IS, not less beautiful with less beautiful hair because you are not mixed.

Secondly, this board will definitely help you with hair love.

There are a number of sisters on here with long healthy hair that I believe is 4a (give or take) like Den1, adrienne0914, Supergirl, and Peachtree, and I'm sure there are others I can't think of right now. Their albums are inspirations to naturals and relaxed heads and contain lots of amazing pics and good tips. Check them out and good luck.

 

[candycane]

I, too, was a bit concerned about the comment regarding biracial people as well.

Candycane

 

[perfectpeace]

[ QUOTE ]
Dyzne said:
Please don't take this wrong I love those out there that are mutiracial (I wish I was) and you are my inspiration I envy you (probably too much) . . .

[/ QUOTE ]

Hey Dyzne. Haven't yah heard? God don't make no mistakes. I am a short lady. Under 5 feet tall. Over the years people have asked me "have you ever wanted to be taller?" My honest answer to that is "No." I honestly have never wanted to be taller. Never considered it. Of course I realize my life journey was different then yours. And I also know that people can be cruel and make you wish you were somebody else. But basically, I want to challenge you to consider this . . . if you were any different then how God made you (I'm talking about the things we cannot change such as race, who our parents are, etc.) you would not, could not, be able to fulfill the purpose God created you for. I know all this sounds cliche-ish but it's true, dear. You are fearfully and wonderfully made! OKAY, END OF SERMON.

Now on to the hair thang. . . Girrrrrl, my sister has 4a/4b hair had it has reached all with way down to her butt. I kid you not! My hair has been bra length and even a few inches from waist length. As a matter of fact, at the church I go to, there are a lot of ladies with shoulder blade and bra strap hair who are 4a/4b. It definately can be done. Like the ladies here stated, learn quickly what your hair weaknesses are. Focus on moisture, build the strands up with protein conds.--but not too often, minimize wet combing, moisten and oil-seal the ends every morning and night (check out the "vasoline change" that's on right now) and reduce all forms of direct heat (put away the blow dryer and turn down the temperature on the hooded dryer and the curling iron), sleep in a silk scarf at night. A good multivitamin is also a good idea. You will definately learn a lot from these ladies, as I have . . .

 

[foxybronx]

Girl DO NOT GIVE up! All your goals are attainable seriously. I have very coarse thick 4a/b and My hair was stuck at shoulder length for a long time. An now I aman inch, inch and a half from midback. What these ladies were saYing is absolutely true! Once you can figure out what u doing wrong or lacking and develop a regime to fix it, it gets ALOT easier to see some growth. Did u say what your regime is?
i am going to put up my regime in a second..
My pics can be found at that link below....

 

[foxybronx]

My Regime

Wash anywhere from 1-4x a week. If I was 2x a week one of those washes are condition only wash. If I was 4x a week (2 washes are Condition washes)

Pretreatment:
-If hair is dry use Apretadora, or Hot oil (Queen Helene Jojoba Oil, Olive oil or Castor Oil).
-If hair is normal coat ends with cholesterol before I shampoo.

Shampoo: Softsheen Breakthru or Creme of Nature, lather 2x

Deep Condition with a heat cap for 30-60 minutes, after every wash with a Moisturizing conditioner. I use Humecto, Elucence moisture balancing conditioner, Motions Moisture Plus, , etc.

I do a last rinse with Suave Humectant, Awaphuhi, Biobasics, Coconut Conditioner or Pantene Smooth N sleek, Relaxed and Natural Intensive Moisturizer and rinse out with EXTREMELY COLD water to close my cuticles
Note: Those are the same conditoners I use for condition only washing.

I then use Razac leave in (a must) plus Keracare leave-in and comb thru

-If hair is freshly permed and I want to wear it straight, I apply Keracare wrap-set foam + Elasta QP design foam and then I wrap and airdry.. It is important for me to put 3 rollers at the crown of my head.

-If there is new growth present an I want to wear my hair straight, I use the Carolyn Gray ponytail method of airdrying…I apply a castor and wildgro oil on my wet hair and put it into a low ponytail to dry..and then I use Caruso rollers.

-If I want to wear a braidout, I apply s curl + oil and kiehls silk groom and braid in four plaits.

As needed I use Affirm 5 N1, Dudleys Hair rebuilder, or Aubrey Gpb for a protein treatment

Daily: I moisturize 2x-3x a day. I alternate between S-Curl no drip, profectiv anti-breakage megamoisturizer, dudleys pca, wildgro+castor oil, profectiv breakthru, keihls silkgroom, shea butter and ors carrot oil
My hair really loves the s-curl no drip followed by some pure castor oil OR hollywood beauty castor oil.

Perm every 3 months with Affirm Lye in mild, or Affirm Fiberguard
One week before a perm, and one week after I use Affirm 5n1

I trim when needed. I am experimenting with trimming according to the Lunar cycles.

I added two shakes as of this week, to supplement the vitamins I no longer take. I take optimum whey protein shake ,and natures plus ultra thick hair shake.

When I comb my hair I either use the jilbere shower comb or a seamless comb.

 

[ms_kenesha]

Thanks for the regime Foxybronx!

 

[AJamericanDiva]

Dyzne!!! How could I have forgotten dear ole Foxybronx!!!

Thanks, Foxy for jumping in the the thread and sharing your regimen.

Just for the record, I've seen Foxy's hair in person and she has a lovely head of hair.

 

[DahomeyAhosi]

You have gorgeous hair Foxy. Thanks for sharing your regime.

 

[foxybronx]

Thanks Diva

right back atcha

LOL

Thanks for the compliment Dahomey

u guys are too sweet!

 

[Dyzne]

Hi There Ladies : I just wanted to take a moment to thank each of you personally for taking the time in my own time of desperate need. I guess from my own experience and those I see I was losing perspective. I appreciate all of your kind words and blessings and believe me I see every word and will keep every word just as a day to day inspiration in my journal. It definitely makes me feel better to know that I am not the only one that has felt the way that I do. It just feels that way. Every single one of you are an inspiration and I hope that a year from now I will laugh at this moment or even feel a little embarrassed for letting my desperation get the best of me. So...

DahomeyAhosi
Katie
dontspeakdefeat
myhairSOS
hotcocoGurl130
jainygirl
den1
soulchild
brittanyic16
adrienne0914
stylepink
douglala
zoe
AjamericanDiva
Ms_Kenesha
loverofnaps71
mariaat40
Miss_Brown
CandyCane
perfectpeace
Foxybronx

I THANK EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU MANY BLESSINGS TO YOU. YOU ARE MY INSPIRATION AND EVERYONE'S WORDS, CONFIDENCE AND PHOTOS ARE KNOWN, UNDERSTOOD AND CHERISHED. I CANNOT THANK ANY OF YOU ENOUGH. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.

Please keep posting you never know who else may be feeling the way I do or the way all of you use to do. Slowly but surely I am going to get through this and make it work. sorry to be so mushy. thanks again. And please keep posting your experiences, regimen with hair and vitamins. I may need to tweak my own and your information is definitely a help also. Thank you Thank you Thank you my LHCF family.