songbyrd517
Member
Okay so, I am having quite the hair dilemma!
I am VERY close to getting a relaxer and I am debating on whether or not I should. I am a 4a/3c natural with a decent amount of hair. It is almost a little past armpit length stretched. I transitioned beginning on Dec. 9, 2004 (my very last relaxer), and got my relaxed ends cut off on Nov. 12, 2005. I have been natural since then (close to two years). I love my natural hair, and I have grown used to not relaxing, however I am becoming very worried about the health of my hair and the look I want to achieve
I take very good care of my hair, and I am very gentle with it. I do not use heat a lot, and I only comb when there's conditioner or lots of shower water present. However, It seems that no matter what I do, I am getting dry, brittle, split ends. I deep condition, don't comb or manipulate much and when I do I am very gentle, I treat my ends very well, and still my hair looks like hell on wheels. It looks pretty decent while curly, but the ends are still dry, and don't even get me started on what happens when I try to straighten. I have dry hair anyway, but it seems that it is drier now that I don't have a relaxer (I don't know if that's possible, but that's how it seems). I have tried lots of things, and I am beginning to think that my ends are getting so splity and dry because the oils I do have are not able to get to the ends well enough to seal in moisture while my hair is curly. My hair is suffering being curly. I have tried baggying, and I ALWAYS put extra moisturizers on them, and nothing. Not a fracking thing
!!!! And I could try to wear it straight more often to let the oils be able to travel down my shaft, but that would require entirely too much heat. That would REALLY kill my ends. I am at a loss!
My hair was growing well and I even got really close to BSL before I decided to transition, and it was very healthy. I started using Affirm Mild Lye Relaxer, and not making my hair bone straight anymore, and also rollersetting and doing wet wraps and my hair was thriving. It was so soft and silky and bouncy, and my ends were in really good shape. I just thought that maybe going completely natural would be even better, but I don't know anymore. I also wanted to remember what my natural hair was like.
I did not get relaxers when I was a little girl, up until I was about 11 (which was WAY too young). My mom either braided, did braid-outs, or pressed out mine and my sisters hair on a regular basis, and both of our hair was very long. I didn't remember what my hair was like, I just knew it was long, and thought that maybe I needed to go back to that to achieve length. But now, I don't know. I am really considering relaxing with mild relaxer and going back to my rollersets to save my hair and achieve the length I want. My hair grows both relaxed and natural, but it will never get too far past my shoulders if my ends keep being like this! I am so fed up! And it take me ENTIRELY too long to do anything to my hair other than wear a poof and I am growing very tired of it. It's cute and all, but I am sick of looking the same way all the time. Day in, day out, poof Poof POOF! I am tired of looking like a sheep! At least with a relaxer I could change up my style, and since I don't do bone straight, I can mousse it some days and wear it wavy/curly still with half the hassle!
My goal is to get my hair to brastrap straightened, preferably by June of '08 (for my wedding). My ultimate goal is waistlength. How can I get there if my curls don't allow my ends to be nourished and protected? I am truly tired and fed up with this. Do you all think I should relax, or no? Which is healthier? What sounds better for me? What are your sugesstions? Help me please, I am confused and frustrated
(Sorry this is so long )
I am VERY close to getting a relaxer and I am debating on whether or not I should. I am a 4a/3c natural with a decent amount of hair. It is almost a little past armpit length stretched. I transitioned beginning on Dec. 9, 2004 (my very last relaxer), and got my relaxed ends cut off on Nov. 12, 2005. I have been natural since then (close to two years). I love my natural hair, and I have grown used to not relaxing, however I am becoming very worried about the health of my hair and the look I want to achieve
I take very good care of my hair, and I am very gentle with it. I do not use heat a lot, and I only comb when there's conditioner or lots of shower water present. However, It seems that no matter what I do, I am getting dry, brittle, split ends. I deep condition, don't comb or manipulate much and when I do I am very gentle, I treat my ends very well, and still my hair looks like hell on wheels. It looks pretty decent while curly, but the ends are still dry, and don't even get me started on what happens when I try to straighten. I have dry hair anyway, but it seems that it is drier now that I don't have a relaxer (I don't know if that's possible, but that's how it seems). I have tried lots of things, and I am beginning to think that my ends are getting so splity and dry because the oils I do have are not able to get to the ends well enough to seal in moisture while my hair is curly. My hair is suffering being curly. I have tried baggying, and I ALWAYS put extra moisturizers on them, and nothing. Not a fracking thing
!!!! And I could try to wear it straight more often to let the oils be able to travel down my shaft, but that would require entirely too much heat. That would REALLY kill my ends. I am at a loss!My hair was growing well and I even got really close to BSL before I decided to transition, and it was very healthy. I started using Affirm Mild Lye Relaxer, and not making my hair bone straight anymore, and also rollersetting and doing wet wraps and my hair was thriving. It was so soft and silky and bouncy, and my ends were in really good shape. I just thought that maybe going completely natural would be even better, but I don't know anymore. I also wanted to remember what my natural hair was like.
I did not get relaxers when I was a little girl, up until I was about 11 (which was WAY too young). My mom either braided, did braid-outs, or pressed out mine and my sisters hair on a regular basis, and both of our hair was very long. I didn't remember what my hair was like, I just knew it was long, and thought that maybe I needed to go back to that to achieve length. But now, I don't know. I am really considering relaxing with mild relaxer and going back to my rollersets to save my hair and achieve the length I want. My hair grows both relaxed and natural, but it will never get too far past my shoulders if my ends keep being like this! I am so fed up! And it take me ENTIRELY too long to do anything to my hair other than wear a poof and I am growing very tired of it. It's cute and all, but I am sick of looking the same way all the time. Day in, day out, poof Poof POOF! I am tired of looking like a sheep! At least with a relaxer I could change up my style, and since I don't do bone straight, I can mousse it some days and wear it wavy/curly still with half the hassle!
My goal is to get my hair to brastrap straightened, preferably by June of '08 (for my wedding). My ultimate goal is waistlength. How can I get there if my curls don't allow my ends to be nourished and protected? I am truly tired and fed up with this. Do you all think I should relax, or no? Which is healthier? What sounds better for me? What are your sugesstions? Help me please, I am confused and frustrated
(Sorry this is so long )
I know you said your hair was fine when it was relaxed, but if your hair is suffering from dryness right now, relaxing again sounds like the last thing you should do. How often do you wear protective styles? I can see why wearing a puff every day would dry out your hair because your ends are constantly being exposed. Why don't you braid it up for a while and give yourself some time to find better products for your hair. When you take your braids down you can get a really nice trim and try out a new regimine with better products for your hair and see if that helps. Then if after a certain amount of time, say a few months, if it isn't working out, maybe you could take the plunge then. 
), started deep conditioning after every wash and eliminated heat completely (this was hard because the blow dryer was my friend 
). HTH. Btw, how often are you trimming or dusting?
Okay, I know I should be beaten because I have not responded to this thread in over a year, 
but I apologize, and there's a reason! I had a very interesting and rough year, and on top of it, I started law school. I have been in law school for a while now, so since I am over the initial shock of beginning law school, I am able to have some free-time. Also, since some other issues have cleared up, I am now in the right state of mind to talk. 
I am still having pretty much the same dryness issues with my hair. I ended up clipping my ends and using a reconstructor, with good results, but most recently, even with the added strength from the protein, I am having a recurring dryness problem!!!! My hair is like the Sahara, and the protein makes it feel hard and dryer. I don't get it. It has grown some over the past year, and it was doing well for a while, but now its going back into dry mode. I dyed my hair red for a while, then ended up dying it black when I got tired of it. In addition, I began using a mild lye relaxer, but only 3 times per year (don't hit me!). I do not relax it straight by any means - it is definitely still curly and big - it just helped my hair to be a little more manageable and easier to comb, hence less breakage. I know the dye was horrible, but I won't do that again on my own. I will try some more of your suggestions. I am currently washing once a week with Creme of Nature Kiwi and Citrus Moisturizing Shampoo, Deep Conditioning once a week with Atria, Naturals "protein pure" conditioner mixed with EVOO, and using Hollywood Beauty Olive Oil Creme (no petroleum or mineral oil) as a moisturizer. I use Suave Tropical Coconut for conditioner rinses, usually once or twice a week, and when I flat iron, I blow dry then use a CHI ceramic iron. I use Fantasia IC heat protectant, and CHI Smoothing Serum. When I am not flat ironing, I wear my hair in a bun or a puff.
