Help for my friend please

[FemmeCreole]

I have this friend whose whole nape is gone and has been for a very long time. I gave her products, and told her techniques that I've learned here...... she doesn't listen or she will do something for 2 weeks then fall off. Now her nape is still jacked up and she has breakage in various parts of her hair. I really don't know what to tell her now. She has very thick hair and she can hide the breakage when she combs it. I only really got so see how bad it was one time when she asked me to relax her hair. I refused to when I saw how bad it was. I told her to give her hair a break....so she put braids. Since then she went to the islands on vacation so I haven't seen her in a month. I spoke to her and she's still lamenting about her hair.

What do I tell her?

 

[locabouthair]

your friends hair sounds like mine.

Here is the thread I made about my nape progress.

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=312231&highlight=

Not relaxing it for awhile really helped.

Did you relax her nape? I think she should relax it every other relaxer or relax it last. I ddint relax mine for almost a year. And tell her to keep is moist. Dotn let it get dry. She cna also try massaging it.

 

[lexi84]

Sounds like you've already told her everything I would have said. She just seems like she doesn’t want to listen. You can lead a horse to water, but you cant make it drink. When she's ready to get serious about her breakage, she'll be more receptive and persistent with trying to fix her problem.

 

[lexi84]

your friends hair sounds like mine.

Here is the thread I made about my nape progress.

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=312231&highlight=

Not relaxing it for awhile really helped.

Did you relax her nape? I think she should relax it every other relaxer or relax it last. I ddint relax mine for almost a year. And tell her to keep is moist. Dotn let it get dry. She cna also try massaging it.

Very good point. I've had nape problems in the past, and letting up on relaxing back there REEEALLY helped me.

 

[FemmeCreole]

your friends hair sounds like mine.

Here is the thread I made about my nape progress.

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=312231&highlight=

Not relaxing it for awhile really helped.

Did you relax her nape? I think she should relax it every other relaxer or relax it last. I ddint relax mine for almost a year. And tell her to keep is moist. Dotn let it get dry. She cna also try massaging it.

I didn't relax her hair period!

I remember you gave me advice about my nape. It's started to grow in and I haven't relaxed in 3.5 months

 

[FemmeCreole]

bumping...

 

[mscocoface]

It sounds like this is not bothering her enough to adjust her mind or attitude about putting the time and effort in getting her nape back.

Anytime you have an area that is severe for whatever reason you will need to put the time and effort into getting it back healthy. That requires you changing your mind about your routine, time and care.

Ask her if she really wants to fix this and give an example of a wound on her body if she had a wound on her body what would she need to do to make it healthy again? It is the same thing for trying to get healthy hair in a sick spot on her head which is her nape.

If she changes her mind the rest will follow. You can give her all the advice you want and even give her the products but unless she is committed to doing what needs to be done she will not get that nape area back in shape.

 

[FemmeCreole]

It sounds like this is not bothering her enough to adjust her mind or attitude about putting the time and effort in getting her nape back.

Anytime you have an area that is severe for whatever reason you will need to put the time and effort into getting it back healthy. That requires you changing your mind about your routine, time and care.

Ask her if she really wants to fix this and give an example of a wound on her body if she had a wound on her body what would she need to do to make it healthy again? It is the same thing for trying to get healthy hair in a sick spot on her head which is her nape.

If she changes her mind the rest will follow. You can give her all the advice you want and even give her the products but unless she is committed to doing what needs to be done she will not get that nape area back in shape.

I suppose....it seems like it bothers me more than it does her

 

[mscocoface]

I know it is very difficult to sit and watch someone do something you know is not good for them and yet they complain about it.

You have to be okay with whatever she does, even though you know what she is doing is wrong or it will drive you crazy.

You have been a great friend, you educated, showed her products and how to help it grow now it is in her hands to apply the knowledge as well as the product.

Hang in there, she may get sick and tired of it one day and decide to make the mental adjustment.

You are a real true friend. I have read on this board where some know people who won't even tell what they are doing to make their hair grow or be healthy.

 

[Cassandra1975]

It sounds like this is not bothering her enough to adjust her mind or attitude about putting the time and effort in getting her nape back.

Anytime you have an area that is severe for whatever reason you will need to put the time and effort into getting it back healthy. That requires you changing your mind about your routine, time and care.

Ask her if she really wants to fix this and give an example of a wound on her body if she had a wound on her body what would she need to do to make it healthy again? It is the same thing for trying to get healthy hair in a sick spot on her head which is her nape.

If she changes her mind the rest will follow. You can give her all the advice you want and even give her the products but unless she is committed to doing what needs to be done she will not get that nape area back in shape.

I totally agree. Anything worth having takes effort. It's just like when people say they want to lose weight. I have friends who are constantly saying this...but they don't make any effort. They come with 101 excuses why they can't work out (and I'm not talking about going to the gym, I'm talking about simply walking around the block or something), etc. Something has to click for them, and then they realize they need to make changes.

People talk a good game. But when they really, really want something, they will make an effort to get it done. Clearly, this is not priority for her. You can talk to her until you're blue in the face, but she's not going to stick with a routine until she gets good and ready. Maybe she has to look in the mirror and see herself bald, and then it will kick in.