He was ripping her hair ouf

[rosie]

Okay, so I let my youngest dd's hair go longer than I should b/c tomorrow is her birthday and I know she wants a special birthday hair style.

So, last night, I gather all of my hair utensils so that I could take her hair loose. I get the stool and we get ready to get down to business.

But wait, I left some clips upstairs. You know to clip the loose hair out of the way.

When I got back, there he was sitting in my spot taking her hair loose. My DH. Bless his heart.

Except...

He was using the fine toothed rattail comb to comb the braids and plaits out of the child's head. He's laughing and she's just laughing and my oldest daughter is videtaping it all. Everybody is having a good old time , except me!!!!!

He's ripping the hair loose and if he comes to a knot in the hair (a knot that he creates with the comb), he just rips it out!!!!!!!

I wanted to strangle him. I tried to give him some pointers, like I only use the tail end to pick loose the knots and plaits. I use my hands to take the braids down. His repsonse was, "That's why it takes you so long to get it done!"

And the kids were loving it. The oldest wanted daddy to do her hair too. I said no. ( I just did it on SUnday and it looked fine. Plus she went swimming today so it will have to be done tonight.)

So he gets up to go to the bathroom. I know it's gonna be at least 15-20 minutes. so while he is gone I get started on the rest of her head. Do you know that traitor got up from my lap and went to him when he came out of the bathroom. Just a smiling. But I couldn't believe it.

When he was through, there was a pile of hair on the side table, and tiny bits of hair all over the front of his shirt and the back of her shirt. I never have that much hair anywhere especially when I do her head. It's the easiest one in the house to do.

Now he says that he wants to take their hair loose from now on. My heart can't stand it. The girls are begging to let daddy do the hair.

I am resigned to give them big plaits for the rest of the summer so that he can't rip too much out.

What can I do?

Any advice?

 

[Sascha]

Hmmm...This is hard because it is soooo sweet that he wants to do it and your daughters are enjoying their daddy time. I'm going to have to think about this one for awhile.

 

[WomanlyCharm]

Oh man, that's a tough one!

Girl I feel you...but I also remember when I was a little girl, I WORSHIPED my dad. (and I still know he's one of the best men on the planet!)

I remember him doing my hair on some days...sure the braids were all crooked and lopsided, and unraveling, but I loved it. I refused to let my mom touch my head for days (and she was STEAMING MAD!!! )

Let them have this bonding time together. Believe me it wil be a very precious memory for your girls (and daddy too) when they get older.

You're a lucky woman, to have a husband willing to spend that kind of time on his kids. Enjoy it. And laugh along with them.
(but don't forget to hide that rattail comb...)

 

[Poohbear]

He was using the fine toothed rattail comb to comb the braids and plaits out of the child's head. He's laughing and she's just laughing and my oldest daughter is videtaping it all. Everybody is having a good old time , except me!!!!!

He's ripping the hair loose and if he comes to a knot in the hair (a knot that he creates with the comb), he just rips it out!!!!!!!

LMBO!!!!

I'm sorry but when I was reading through your story and read this part that I bolded, I couldn't help but laugh!!!! I can just see them both laughing as he rips knot out of her hair!!!

 

[remnant]

sorry, I don't have any advice !
.....but you make me seriously think about it (for my future) !

 

[KiniKakes]

*YIKES* I feel your pain. Its hard to stand by and just watch that. Well.... im sure your husband know how into hair care you are, so perhaps you can just REALLY tactfully (because we know how defensive they can get when they sense criticism) that he is putting undue stress on her hair and pulling out too much (you can indicate the ball of hair as evidence). I would just be very honest and frank, but make sure to also state that you really appreciate how much he wants to help, but if he is going to do so then he needs to be gentle with their hair, so that they dont end up with damaged, broken off ends. Just be certain to say this very sweetly and stress how you sincerely appreciate his help.

 

[Wildchild453]

Thats so sweet but next time get him a bigger comb

 

[Phoenix]

I think it's great! That will take some responsibility off of you.

BUT maybe you can talk to him (alone) about why it's important to be gentle with your daughter's hair and teach him the correct way to do it. I'm sure that he wants your daughter to have attractive, healthy hair as much as you do. I doubt that he was TRYING to snatch her bald-headed, he just didn't know any better.

 

[RootPunch]

I think giving bigger braids was a wise solution; esp. if you don't want to mention anything.

 

[Arcadian]

Only advice I can give you is to hide all the rat tail combs.

-A

 

[hopeful]

Only advice I can give you is to hide all the rat tail combs.

-A

Yep, co-signing. I wouldn't say a word for a little while anyway. If he's like most men this "phase" will pass and he'll be (sheepishly) handing the girls back over to you. Or they will be running back to you when the newness of this experience wears off. The more they all think this gets you steamed lol the more they will enjoy it. In the meantime hand him a wide tooth comb and have a cup of tea or read your favorite magazine.

My husband has tried to approach my daughters a couple of times and they are like Nooooo!

 

[DDTexlaxed]

Wow, that is soo sweet! Big plaits would be the way to go. ...and hide the rat tail combs!

 

[calliope]

Oh man, that's a tough one!

Girl I feel you...but I also remember when I was a little girl, I WORSHIPED my dad. (and I still know he's one of the best men on the planet!)

I remember him doing my hair on some days...sure the braids were all crooked and lopsided, and unraveling, but I loved it. I refused to let my mom touch my head for days (and she was STEAMING MAD!!! )

Let them have this bonding time together. Believe me it wil be a very precious memory for your girls (and daddy too) when they get older.

You're a lucky woman, to have a husband willing to spend that kind of time on his kids. Enjoy it. And laugh along with them.
(but don't forget to hide that rattail comb...)

I totally agree- he's not out to mess up their hair, they'll be fine and I'm sure that they love the time together.

 

[BabeinChrist]

Ouch! Sounds painful. I personally would have been crying. Glad to hear it didn't traumatize your little girl.

 

[caribeandiva]

i say let him do their hair. since they love that's all that matters. if they complain about their hair never growing then explain to them that it's all their father's fault!

 

[sunnyjohn]

Hid the rat tooth comb. If he can't find it, he can't use it and won't make the knots he has to rip out.

 

[jackie1277]

okay I have the solution!!

You do their hair first and get all the knots out and then let your husband do the "easy" part. You'll be happy, the kids get to keep their hair, and your husband and kids still get their bonding time!

you story is just too cute!

 

[Vshanell]

How about instead of letting him take down the braids let him do something else simple to their hair like brush it a little, put some moisturizer in, conditioner, etc (maybe he can give them a pre-poo, he he). That way daddy will still be doing something to their hair and they will still have that bonding time.

 

[Allandra]

It sounds like he needs to sit down and watch you before he attempts this again. There's no way I would allow him (or anyone else) to rip their hair out like that.

 

[S-A]

My dad would do my hair for me for school at times whilst I was growing up and now im grown up we laugh about it and look back on those days with fond memories. My mum and I laugh with him now about the crooked parts and overelaborate hair decoration but its all fun. At first he used to rake through my hair with the afro pick , but my mum taught him how to be more careful and gentle and he learnt from it. I cherish those memories.

I say if he is taught the right methods to handle their hair and not hinder growth and progres or given a simple task to do instead of the styling, there isnt anything wrong with him helping out now and again. And as others have said, its a great bonding experience.

oh and yes hide all the rat tail combs

 

[dannie]

I thinks it's so adorable that he takes an interest in doing his baby girls hair. I agree with the suggestion to hide the rat-tail comb. Maybe buy a K- cutter or afro pick so the damage won't be as horrific?

 

[rosie]

Okay,

Thanks for the advice ladies. I called mysister on this and my dad. He used to do our hair when y mom was bedridden for a year. I was about 8 years old. He just laughed, cause my mom was like I am. She cringed the entire time. I loved it.

My sis laughed too, 'cause we remember dad pressing our hair. He did a great job, but then again, he raised his 5 sisters, so he kneew what he was doing. He had them growing hands. Our hair grew like weeds.

I'm gonna leave dh alone and try to enjoythe time he spends witht he girls. I will do my part on makig sure the hair is well lubricated before he starts to comb and that I use large parts and hide the rattail comb.

I believe the bonding part is very important with the girls. He loves them dearly and spends a lot of time with them. Dates them indidvidually. They each have one weekend a month and I have one myself. They spend the day together alone doing stuff out of the house. He takes them to lunch, museaums, a play, the park, skating, etc.

He wants them to see what a real man is like. One that is involved in their life, that enjoys spending time with them, treating them like a gentleman treats a woman (with manners, etc.)

I think it is sweet. The girls love it and hopefully they will use some of this criteria when choosing the men in their life. I did. My father was great role model of the type of man I wanted in my life. And because of him, I have dodged plenty of bullet-headed boys (not men) and got a great one to spend my life with.

SOrry, I on my soapbox again.

I think if I just adjust a few things, we will all be happy. I have a rattail where the comb part broke off. If I have to pull out a rattal to undo braids, then this willbe it, so that he can't comb through anything.

Thanks again ladies.

 

[jackie1277]

Wow. My mouth was literally hanging open hearing about you and your husband's relationship with your daughters.

I think b/c I've never seen or experienced anything like that.

Thank you for sharing, it's good to know of families like that.

Your daughters are very fortunate to have the kind of mother and father they have! (but i'm sure you know that).

 

[rosie]

Wow. My mouth was literally hanging open hearing about you and your husband's relationship with your daughters.

I think b/c I've never seen or experienced anything like that.

Thank you for sharing, it's good to know of families like that.

Your daughters are very fortunate to have the kind of mother and father they have! (but i'm sure you know that).

Girl, we are regular folks. We have issues like everybody else. DH is just very adamant about his girls and teaching them about society and what to expect and reject. (Especially today). He doesn't want them to grow up thinking that video ho is the way to go.

 

[Arcadian]

Girl, we are regular folks. We have issues like everybody else. DH is just very adamant about his girls and teaching them about society and what to expect and reject. (Especially today). He doesn't want them to grow up thinking that video ho is the way to go.

Good for your husband! its so good that he's spending time with them while they're young. I think its great that he's bonding with them this way.

I'm a daddy's girl so I had no problem with my dad doing my hair. I remember quite clearly when my father would rake through my hair with the pick. Lucky for me he also used afrosheen beforehand (and do you know he still uses that stuff? ) It was a little rough, but it was DAD doing it so it was ok!

With my mother it was terrible. She would have to put a towel around my neck and shoes on my ears because I feared being burned. (dad didn't mess around with no pressing comb)



-A