He Recently Ended His Relationship....

[MissLawyerLady]

Rebound relationships are bad news. Even though the guy may seem eager to be with you early on, you may notice that he is distracted and starting to pull away. The reason is because he never really took time to get over the breakup.

THIS IS SO TRUE!!!!!

 

[SpiritJunkie]

i've done it. I found that our relationship happened so quickly. everything moved so fast. hanging out almost daily, he was practically living with me. it was a real whirlwind relationship. ended a year and a bit later. he had a lot of unresolved issues and time alone would have helped him

if i were to do it again we would have to take it REAL slow.

 

[song_of_serenity]

I've done it and it didn't turn out good. They got back together.

This just happened to me. We got along amazingly, but sadly I had to come back to N.Y after Christmas break (he lives in Florida)...he said long distance was hard. And we maintained a friendship after the fact. During my time back, she came asking for another chance. He decided to give it one more go...but asked if we could stay friends since we did get along well and the like. She told him not to talk to me at all and he just cut me off, just like that. No explainations, just "Sorry, I can't talk to you anymore." (I'm not one to be a stumbling block or have my name raised up when things go wrong, so I just left)

He just spoke to me yesterday, two weeks later, that he's "getting what he deserved" for how he treated me because as soon as they got back together, she started showing her tail again...ex's are usually ex's for a reason, but at least no one could blame me for it. I told him he did what he felt was best for his relationship. He's hurting right now. But what can you do?
it usually isn't a good idea. Their heart is usually still not on the mend.
~*Janelle~*

 

[Irresistible]

Welp in my relationship woes, we both ran out and to others in the pain, him first, then me, we both ran right back

it sucked for the ones that got involved with two wounded lost angry hurting confused souls trying to run away from what was really in our hearts

only to run back with a quickness

 

[MissJ]

It won't end well, speaking from experience.

 

[MissJ]

This just happened to me. We got along amazingly, but sadly I had to come back to N.Y after Christmas break (he lives in Florida)...he said long distance was hard. And we maintained a friendship after the fact. During my time back, she came asking for another chance. He decided to give it one more go...but asked if we could stay friends since we did get along well and the like. She told him not to talk to me at all and he just cut me off, just like that. No explainations, just "Sorry, I can't talk to you anymore." (I'm not one to be a stumbling block or have my name raised up when things go wrong, so I just left)

He just spoke to me yesterday, two weeks later, that he's "getting what he deserved" for how he treated me because as soon as they got back together, she started showing her tail again...ex's are usually ex's for a reason, but at least no one could blame me for it. I told him he did what he felt was best for his relationship. He's hurting right now. But what can you do?
it usually isn't a good idea. Their heart is usually still not on the mend.
~*Janelle~*

I thought you were engaged.

 

[DragonPearl]

If it was the woman who ended the relationship, I wouldn't touch him until he sorts things out emotionally. If he was the one who ended the relationship, he is probably over her, because men don't end relationships when they still have feelings for a woman. Not every man is holding on to past relationships. I don't think you need to run away, but you need to take things slow either way because you don't want to be the rebound partner.

 

[Spongie Bloom]

I did i felt like i never had his full attention and he was like a moouse always scared..i always wanted to tell him to MAN Up i also ended up insecure cause i was thinking maybe im just the rebound girl, it didnt last very long not doing that again

 

[MissJ]

If it was the woman who ended the relationship, I wouldn't touch him until he sorts things out emotionally. If he was the one who ended the relationship, he is probably over her, because men don't end relationships when they still have feelings for a woman. Not every man is holding on to past relationships. I don't think you need to run away, but you need to take things slow either way because you don't want to be the rebound partner.

My ex ended our relationship, and he still went on the rebound. Then he moved heaven and earth trying to get back with me, but I was through with him. He moved in with the girl, proposed to her, and ended up having to break the engagement to come back America looking for me. Heck, he called me over Christmas break asking for a meeting. We broke up in 2003! Generally speaking, just because he ended it doesn't necessarily mean he's over it.

 

[DragonPearl]

My ex ended our relationship, and he still went on the rebound. Then he moved heaven and earth trying to get back with me, but I was through with him. He moved in with the girl, proposed to her, and ended up having to break the engagement to come back America looking for me. Heck, he called me over Christmas break asking for a meeting. We broke up in 2003! Generally speaking, just because he ended it doesn't necessarily mean he's over it.

Okay, but your ex sounds like he is just messed up, period. Even if he waited 1 year to date someone else, he would still mess things up. My ex husband was messed up, and waited 2 years after I left him to date someone else, and he still messed up his new relationship. Last I heard about him, he is still messing up relationships years later.

 

[GoingNatural]

^^I agree messed up guys are a diff situation. My last 2 exes broke up with me, but that's only because I didn't know how to leave them (I was college aged). One cheated and one was just a hot mess. They begggged to come back to me because they realized I was the best thing on earth, they just got too comfortable and wanted to see if anything better was out there.

The guy I'm currently dealing with dated his ex for about 3 years and the last year they've been on and off. He broke up with her "for good" because they were having the same fight and he was tired of being insane for dealing with it. She relocated for him in 07, they have some financial ties so he feels bad because he does/did love her but he doesn't really like her any more.

 

[MissJ]

Whatever you decide, good luck.

 

[song_of_serenity]

I thought you were engaged.

Not since November of last year. We'll say October, actually, since that's when he went back to Missouri.
I didn't make a fuss about it but search my posts and you'll see a mention about it.
Let's just say God was watching out for me.
~*Janelle~*

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Co-signing Phynestone...

Also, even if they aren't necessarily pushing for sex immediately, I find that most men (unlike women) don't believe in taking time to "heal." They instantly move to the next woman, get a "high" off the attention and feeling of being "loved" again, but once things start getting too serious, they FREAK.

And it makes sense that they'd freak, because they jumped into something too soon, and they're reminded of what they lost.

So I say RUN quickly from a man just out of a relationship. Most times, he has NO idea what he wants (well, besides the obvious), and you will endup being another piece of relationship shrapnel left in his wake.

This is SO true. I would never want to get involved with a guy who has just broken up with his girlfriend. I do NOT want to be the "rebound girl". The guy isn't thinking clearly IMO.

I have not. But, how recent is too recent? I could see someone who was divorced or even engaged maybe needing several months/years...But for other relationships, when is the "rebound phase" over? (...just a side question, not to hijack the thread or anything...)

That's my question too. How soon is TOO soon for a guy to be in another relationship after a breakup? 2 months? 4 months? Longer! I think that no matter WHAT even if the couple drifted apart long before the breakup, I say that once the break up is "official", THAT is when the time starts. I don't care if they've been ignoring each other for months, once it's official, that's when the breakup has started for me.

 

[cyrealla]

my ex jumped into a new relationship two weeks after we broke up fast forward five months later its not working and he's not into it as he still has feelings for me

 

[Taleah2009]

Yup and it was a bad idea. He ended up cheating on me with her (his daughter's mother). Then went back to her. Everyone's case is different. He was one of those "messed up" men

 

[FeelinIt]

The only reason you should get with a guy fresh out of a relationship is to get maintained and get ghost before the street lights come on.....straight Robin Givens

 

[chocolatedoll18]

This guy i liked who also liked me would ask me to be his girl everythime they broke up and i would always say no or i would think about it (feeling in my gut). so low and behold the next day each time he would say "oh nevermind we got back together" after that i made it a rule to never EVER date anyone who just got out of a relationship and i've been right about most of the guys

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

What constitutes as "just fresh out of a relationship" though? What are we talking about here? 2 months? Or 2 years? Because that would make a big difference IMO in the advice being given.