He Recently Ended His Relationship....

GoingNatural

GoingNatural

Well-Known Member
Ever dated someone that was *fresh* out of long-term relationship? What was your experience? Did it work out?

Looking forward to reading responses :yep:


Oh, and I'm not asking about a guy that left his girlfriend to be with you...just someone that you happened to meet that recently ended a relationship.

Danke!
 
Started seeing a guy in November who had just filed for divorce from his wife in July (the wife lives in another state). They'd been married 4 years.

He seemed great and while he admitted a part of him still loved his ex-wife, he said that there's no way he could get back with her after what she'd done to him.

Well, 2 weeks ago he just fell off the face of the Earth...I have no idea what happened to make him go ghost, but I know it wasn't anything wrong with me.

Men coming out of serious relationships tend to get scared easily...scared men need not apply!:yawn:
 
It's a bad idea.

My brother told me most men that are just coming out of relationships just want some new booty.

I completely agree, but I made the unfortunate mistake of dating one before I knew this helpful tip.
 
Co-signing Phynestone...

Also, even if they aren't necessarily pushing for sex immediately, I find that most men (unlike women) don't believe in taking time to "heal." They instantly move to the next woman, get a "high" off the attention and feeling of being "loved" again, but once things start getting too serious, they FREAK.

And it makes sense that they'd freak, because they jumped into something too soon, and they're reminded of what they lost.

So I say RUN quickly from a man just out of a relationship. Most times, he has NO idea what he wants (well, besides the obvious), and you will endup being another piece of relationship shrapnel left in his wake.
 
phynestone said:
It's a bad idea.

My brother told me most men that are just coming out of relationships just want some new booty.

I completely agree, but I made the unfortunate mistake of dating one before I knew this helpful tip.
Click to expand...


Yeah booty isn't even an option lol. Not unless I'm in a serious relationship so I figure that's a good way to knock out some of the foolish men
 
I did and it made me wonder if he was with me because he really wanted to be with me or b/c I was the rebound chick (both of us were actually rebounding). His wife requested a divorce, so he wasn't the one who ended the relationship. I think part of his draw to me was that he wanted someone to make him feel loved and important, boost his self esteem a little bit. Needless to say, it didn't work.
 
Vanity1 said:
:popcorn:............
Click to expand...


You got a glass of wine to go with that lol



GN

I have dated someone fresh out of a divorce. It was odd because the man was very eager to get back in a relationship with me just so he could not be lonely. It seemed like we were together because we didnt wanna be alone, not because we liked each other...


But.... Maybe you can make it work..:yep:
 
Nope, but I met this guy who I just wanted to be friends with. He was just out of a relationship, I had kicked my ex out, etc. Well it started with a shoulder to vent on, then this mf tells me he wants a relationship. This was a total shock to me and I kind of ended up hurting his feeling cause I just didn't understand.
 
I run the other way! I meet this FINE Brother was a top 10 on anybody's list but when he told me he was fresh out of an engagement I avoided calls because I have been out of a relationship for over 2yrs I am very aware of myself so if need be I can marry someone tomorrow and he CANT so I don't want to sell myself short when I know what my goal is...I also have never been the type to "Date just to Date" they have to be marriage material so fresh out of a relationship is a no no!
 
men have a hard time resolving emotional issues and hold onto alot of baggage....esp if they came out of a serious relationship where they had feelings invested

they rebound just as women do so you would really have to get him to open up about the relationship and where he is at to truly get a feel of who and what you are dealing with if one does decide to see whats up
 
^^Yeah, we've had open dialogue. He is still connected to the girl because of a relocation/financial issue, but I've heard him on the phone with her and it seems to line up with what he's told me.

I think if I wasn't so gone over him I would have walked away. He's also younger than me and I don't want to be involved in any college-age drama. I guess I was hoping to hear that someone had a great experience. sigh
 
I don't do rebound relationships.:nono:

You usually end up being a transistion person there to stroke his ego until he feels better. Once he does, he's ready to move on. Or move backwards perhaps! :blush:
 
Yeah been there twice. Didn't turn out too well. If anything make sure you know the full extent of their relationship before becoming involved (engaged, lived together, how long did they live together, shared bank accounts etc). Sometimes guys "gloss over" or down play certain things to get in w/ you. That way you at least can make an informed decision.

I totally agree w/ Bunny77 they do tend to freak out when you start behaving like a real gf. It's almost like they try to be the perfect bf in the beginning. I guess they're trying to block out their feelings by jumping into something quickly. But when that new car smell wears off...the tingle from being in something new is gone and they CRASH.
 
I have not. But, how recent is too recent? I could see someone who was divorced or even engaged maybe needing several months/years...But for other relationships, when is the "rebound phase" over? (...just a side question, not to hijack the thread or anything...)
 
Rebound relationships are bad news. Even though the guy may seem eager to be with you early on, you may notice that he is distracted and starting to pull away. The reason is because he never really took time to get over the breakup. In my experience, they don't work. I have been on both sides. The side of being with a guy that was on the rebound AND I have been on the side as the ex girlfriend that the guy kept calling/emailing after he moved on so fast with somebody else.
 
Well, im in a relationship with some one who is recently divorced and I had just got out of an engagement. They were married for 4 years but going through the divorce the last year. We are good, communication is extremely important you want him to express all his concerns and feelings about what he just went through (to see where his head is at). We were friends for 2yrs while he was married (never messed around while he was married) and we've been together 6 months on the 9th. If we weren't so open with each other it would have been over before it started. I think bc we were friends first HTH
 
tiara76 said:
men have a hard time resolving emotional issues and hold onto alot of baggage....esp if they came out of a serious relationship where they had feelings invested

they rebound just as women do so you would really have to get him to open up about the relationship and where he is at to truly get a feel of who and what you are dealing with if one does decide to see whats up
Click to expand...

How do you do that?
 
yes i have ....and it was a BAD idea

i started started seeing some who had just broken up with his ex one month ago
not to mention his ex had just given birth to their son 4 months earlier

......it didnt work out
 
nappi said:
yes i have ....and it was a BAD idea

i started started seeing some who had just broken up with his ex one month ago
not to mention his ex had just given birth to their son 4 months earlier

......it didnt work out
Click to expand...

Yeah, that's a whole other pot of worms :spinning:
 
arr1216 said:
How do you do that?
Click to expand...

I think it depends on the kind of guy you are with. I've been able to have an open conversation with my guy about his ex. He doesn't front like he never loved her, etc. I told him where I stand--he gets one strike and then he's out lol. But I started a dialogue--nothing confrontational..I just basically asked probing questions and made sure I kept a straight face so he felt comfortable talking. You know men are sensitive :look: lol
 
nicola.kirwan said:
I have not. But, how recent is too recent? I could see someone who was divorced or even engaged maybe needing several months/years...But for other relationships, when is the "rebound phase" over? (...just a side question, not to hijack the thread or anything...)
Click to expand...

That's actually a good questions. Ending a marriage/engagement is different than ending a regular relationship. When does it stop being a rebound?
 
GoingNatural said:
That's actually a good questions. Ending a marriage/engagement is different than ending a regular relationship. When does it stop being a rebound?
Click to expand...
It varies person to person and relationship to relationship. Also, just because they recently OFFICIALLY broke up doesn't mean that they haven't been breaking up for a while.
 
Jessica Rabbit said:
It varies person to person and relationship to relationship. Also, just because they recently OFFICIALLY broke up doesn't mean that they haven't been breaking up for a while.
Click to expand...

Why do I keep seeing my CT everywhere except for where they should be? And I totally agree
 
Jessica Rabbit said:
It varies person to person and relationship to relationship. Also, just because they recently OFFICIALLY broke up doesn't mean that they haven't been breaking up for a while.
Click to expand...

That's definitely true. Sometimes people have left long before it's over. I guess you just have to ask.
 
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