He likes me WAY more than I like him...

[myronnie]

Well, I guess "like" isn't the operative word here..instead I should have said love..
So, it seems that my boyfriend loves me a lot more than I love him. Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy and all but I'm not hasty in my decision to spend the rest of my life with someone. He recently told me that he could see hisself marrying me and having kids with me..I was like uhm okay And he asked me if I felt the same way. I replied "Maybe, You never know what the future can bring."
I feel bad for not loving him to the same caliber as he does me and for not viewing him as the person who I'd spend the rest of my life with..
I just don't want to hurt his feelings down the road in our relationship..It seems that in my relationships the guy is always the one who goes all crazy for me at my chagrin..
Any other ladies been in the same difficult situation?

 

[YankeeCandle]

I would say I was like that for the first 6 months or so of my relationship. In my head, I thought of myself as passing time with him/getting a wider variety of experience with men, whereas, officially as of one month into the relationship (and most likely sooner), he had found the woman he wanted to marry and have children with.

In my case, I grew to love him after a while, quite deeply, actually. And every year I find I love him more. (Doesn't mean I'm ready to get married, but the love's there )
How long have you been with your man? Perhaps love will grow.

On the other hand, though, if it's been many months (and CERTAINLY if it's been a year-plus), it might be time to cut BOTH your losses and move on. It sounds like you both come from a "love" paradigm (as opposed to an arranged marriage or other type where love is not high on the list of requirements). Given that, he deserves someone who feels love back (even if it's not necessarily a burning passion, which is not necessary IMO), and you deserve the joy of loving someone and getting excited to hear from them/see them.

Good luck!

 

[LadyPaniolo]

Yeah, I've been through the same experience. Honestly, if you are just not feeling him like that, you should consider cutting your (and his) losses and moving on. But first, consider what your true feelings really are. It could be that you just feel intimidated because he's being so eager and up front with his readiness to commit. If he's a quality man and he's marriageable, you should think LONG and HARD before you let him go. Men who are crazy for you make better husbands.

 

[goldielocs]

Yeah, I've been through the same experience. Honestly, if you are just not feeling him like that, you should consider cutting your (and his) losses and moving on. But first, consider what your true feelings really are. It could be that you just feel intimidated because he's being so eager and up front with his readiness to commit. If he's a quality man and he's marriageable, you should think LONG and HARD before you let him go. Men who are crazy for you make better husbands.

OP, your post sounds like how I felt when I dated my husband and it did grow into something more, but it took almost 7 months. I am a witness to the bolded part of LadyPaniolo's statement. Men who love you more than you love them do make very sweet, doting husbands. Mine is anyway.

You may not follow the teachings of the Bible, but there is a reason men are told to love their wives and wives are told to respect thier husbands. I love my husband, but I've found that respect goes further with him while him doing loving things towards me means more to me. That's just my opinion.

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

[/B]


OP, your post sounds like how I felt when I dated my husband and it did grow into something more, but it took almost 7 months. I am a witness to the bolded part of LadyPaniolo's statement. Men who love you more than you love them do make very sweet, doting husbands. Mine is anyway.

.

The bolded is absolutely true Also agree with LP's comment "Husbands that are crazy about you make the best husbands"

 

[myronnie]

Yes, I agree with all the above posters, especially that the best husbands are ones that are crazy about you. While I do love him, I think that is way too early to be thinking that I want to marry him..I'm barely 20 and I haven't graduated college yet, so it just seems a little bit too premature.

 

[Amcd]

It may be a bit premature, but I met my husband about 3 weeks before I turned 20, while I was still in college. We dated for 5 years. I was 25 when we got married he was 26. We will be celebrating our 18th anniversary in November. I always felt that he loved me more when we started dating, but as the years go on the feeling seems to go back and forth between us. I'm still happy I married him, even though we were young when we got together.

 

[newbiemom]

my mother always told me a saying " its not who you love but wh o loves you" If a man truly loves you-he will do quite a bit to keep you happy. That devotion and admiration can turn to love if you are being cared for. Wait a while and see of anything blossoms if not let him go.

 

[ConsiderCamille]

I am in the same situation for over a year now, and I always thought it;s because he's had several girlfriends and he knows exactly what he wants. But on the other hand he is my first boyfriend and I don't know exactly what I want yet. The best thing to do is be honest, he KNOWS that I don't like him as much as he loves me... and the honesty keeps us on the same page.