He is Stressing me out

[Danene5]

My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship and have been for quite some time. Recently he started saying that the 4hr drive was outrageous for him to make so we decided to just meet halfway. Well he models. This past Wednesday there was a shoot in ATL. I had no problem with him going to ATL. Come to find out he drove to ATL, which is 4hours and took 2 days off from work. He lives in NC. I was totally upset. Not at him for going to ATL but for him complaining about driving 4hours to see me lately. I brought this to his attention and he states that it is for business. Of course, I hung up the phone and haven't had a real conversation with him since Wednesday. Today he sent me an IM and stated that I was being unreasonable and it was no different when I went to VA to visit friends. I told him that I never complain about seeing him. And that the two of us seeing each other is not the problem it is just the recent complaining that his. He feels that I am wrong for feeling this way. Do you ladies agree with me for feeling this way or am I drawing this out of proportion?

 

[Keen]

Do you drive 4 hrs to go see him also? Is this ATL drive was just a one time deal or does he make the drive often?

 

[STLCoverGirl]

Well, I can see both your points, but I think you should cut him some slack. I say pick your battles, and this one doesn't seem worth it.

I am in the same boat as you, my SO and I are 6 hours apart. I complain about the drive ALL the time, lol...soo I think I sympathize a little more with your SO..me being a complainer and all.

You guys have to compromise, sometimes we meet halfway, other times I go further and vice versa. Ok, realistically he comes here 80% of the time, but I am no role model...it works in theory.

Cut the man some slack, if modeling is his job and is what he wants to do I can understand why he didn't complain about traveling for that. If he doesn't work and make money he is not going to be able to come see you. Don't take it personal...be easy, lol!

 

[MizzBrown]

I'm just money-hungry so I would drive 4 hours if it meant I was gettin paid decent money to pay my bills and such. That's MONEY! But how does he miss days at one job to take on another job for a modeling shoot? I don't understand that. Explain that.

If he had said he was driving to go see his boys or something then I would be irritated. Sometimes busines is business to an EXTENT. He's gotta put food on the table. Meeting halfways sounds reasonable to me. When he starts complaining about that then take heed.

 

[Danene5]

Do you drive 4 hrs to go see him also? Is this ATL drive was just a one time deal or does he make the drive often?

I don't make the 4 hour drive, I normally fly to see him. The 4 hour drive isn't safe for a woman at night.

 

[Danene5]

Well, I can see both your points, but I think you should cut him some slack. I say pick your battles, and this one doesn't seem worth it.

I am in the same boat as you, my SO and I are 6 hours apart. I complain about the drive ALL the time, lol...soo I think I sympathize a little more with your SO..me being a complainer and all.

You guys have to compromise, sometimes we meet halfway, other times I go further and vice versa. Ok, realistically he comes here 80% of the time, but I am no role model...it works in theory.

Cut the man some slack, if modeling is his job and is what he wants to do I can understand why he didn't complain about traveling for that. If he doesn't work and make money he is not going to be able to come see you. Don't take it personal...be easy, lol!

I can't agree with the bolded because he does have a regular 9-5 just like everyone else.

 

[Danene5]

I'm just money-hungry so I would drive 4 hours if it meant I was gettin paid decent money to pay my bills and such. That's MONEY! But how does he miss days at one job to take on another job for a modeling shoot? I don't understand that. Explain that.

If he had said he was driving to go see his boys or something then I would be irritated. Sometimes busines is business to an EXTENT. He's gotta put food on the table. Meeting halfways sounds reasonable to me. When he starts complaining about that then take heed.

He does the bolded in conjunction with the modeling. I think that both of these combined is wht is making me upset.

 

[Farida]

As humans we are selfish.

I hate carrying a stack of books halfway across town to study with my FH (I love time with him, I just hate having to move my entire library) but whenever it is a study sessions with friends I do it. Why? It's a one time thing. In a sense we start taking people for granted when we know we always have the option to do or not do something.

I would say don't take it too personally. I can see why you would be upset, but especially in LDRs you've got to pick your battles. Was the shoot a one-time thing? Or is it something he goes to often?

How is the rest of the relationship? How often does he do 4-hr drives for something other than you? That is a good gauge of whether he was just getting weary of the travel or if the relationship is losing its fervor.

 

[BAP28]

if he can make the 4 hour drive to go to gig then im not sure why he cant make the drive to see you--that is a valid point

and i too would be like stop complaining about it--you know what this is----this is a long distance rlp--so im not sure what the complaining is all about--

you have offered to meet him half way okay--but i think the gig and your rlp are equally important if he can do one he can do the other--

its about life--and balancing your priorites and making ish happen--stop complaining if you want to make this rlp work drive and make this work---wtf

 

[czyfaith77]

if he can make the 4 hour drive to go to gig then im not sure why he cant make the drive to see you--that is a valid point

and i too would be like stop complaining about it--you know what this is----this is a long distance rlp--so im not sure what the complaining is all about--

you have offered to meet him half way okay--but i think the gig and your rlp are equally important if he can do one he can do the other--

its about life--and balancing your priorites and making ish happen--stop complaining if you want to make this rlp work drive and make this work---wtf

You know I have to agree. I talked to several men, including my own, and when a man really want to be a woman he doesn't make up excuses and the sacrifices he makes, he doesn't complain. It is a matter of what he values.

 

[BrooklynSouth]

My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship and have been for quite some time. Recently he started saying that the 4hr drive was outrageous for him to make so we decided to just meet halfway. Well he models. This past Wednesday there was a shoot in ATL. I had no problem with him going to ATL. Come to find out he drove to ATL, which is 4hours and took 2 days off from work. He lives in NC. I was totally upset. Not at him for going to ATL but for him complaining about driving 4hours to see me lately. I brought this to his attention and he states that it is for business. Of course, I hung up the phone and haven't had a real conversation with him since Wednesday. Today he sent me an IM and stated that I was being unreasonable and it was no different when I went to VA to visit friends. I told him that I never complain about seeing him. And that the two of us seeing each other is not the problem it is just the recent complaining that his. He feels that I am wrong for feeling this way. Do you ladies agree with me for feeling this way or am I drawing this out of proportion?

Danene, once you compromised and began to meet him halfway--you set the tone for him to not make you a priority. A man makes sacrifices, feels you are well worth it and no hurdle is too much when he truly feels you are worth 'heroic' efforts. THE RULES {always the Girlfriend, never THE WIFE?}is my way no matter how some feel about that little book...I've gone against the plan, {never again!}---to my regret.