He has a lot of fear regarding relationships as do I…

[splendid10]

I am currently in a relationship with a 41 year old Scorpio man. Currently, we are at a defining moment because Mr. Right wants to mediate, pray, create lists to make sure he will be making the right decision in regards to spending the rest of our lives together. I fully support his space and his proactive approach not to repeat the behaviors of the past. By the way he is never been married or engaged and his desire is to be married with kids. He has a lot of fear regarding relationships as do I… What suggestions may you offer me to support him to alleviate his anxieties regarding committed relationships (e.g., not working out in the end)? What thoughts do you have for me regarding overcoming my fears of thinking Mr. Right believes that there is someone else out there better than me…..

I am curious to learn your story and what you did to encourage him during this space and time?

 

[blackmaven]

He is 41 years of age should know what wants by now. How long have you been together?

 

[envybeauty]

I am currently in a relationship with a 41 year old Scorpio man. Currently, we are at a defining moment because Mr. Right wants to mediate, pray, create lists to make sure he will be making the right decision in regards to spending the rest of our lives together. I fully support his space and his proactive approach not to repeat the behaviors of the past. By the way he is never been married or engaged and his desire is to be married with kids. He has a lot of fear regarding relationships as do I… What suggestions may you offer me to support him to alleviate his anxieties regarding committed relationships (e.g., not working out in the end)? What thoughts do you have for me regarding overcoming my fears of thinking the Mr. Right believes that there is someone else out there better than me…..

I am curious to learn your story and what you did to encourage him during this space and time?

All I had to see was the word SCORPIO..... dated one myself who wanted to get married with kids. 38 years old. very ambitious. good job. great income. very giving. very analytical (wanted to debate/discuss everything). had a ckecklist. conversations about kids/marriage felt like interviews.

nothing else to add to this thread. it just brought back memories. oh..dumped him after a few months. couldn't stand the overanalyzing. i'm like...just do it already!

 

[splendid10]

Seven (7) months.

 

[dlewis]

I was this man years ago. I had that fear based on what I saw in my family. My husband won me over after many years by being there, listening and forever showing me that he loves me. He always knew I would be his wife. Don't know what to say other than just be there for him.

 

[envybeauty]

^^^A woman in her twenties is different than a man in his forties. IMO

 

[FlowerHair]

^^^A woman in her twenties is different than a man in his forties. IMO

Very true! We seem to be on the same page today nvy
A man in his forties should know that his time is now.

If he is waiting for the perfect situation...well it might not happen. He is grown, he ought to know that.

I'm not going to lie, I'm struggling with this as we speak. I'm not going to wait very long let me tell you that. He happens to be a Scorpio too.

One very good solution is to put yourself out of the relationship for a while until he has thought things through. You can still be friends, but nothing more. Let him know that he is still in your "good book". That way he won't fear coming back.

At least that's what I did, and my ex hasn't stopped calling or trying to get back even for a week since we broke up. BUT - and this is a big but - we haven't decided anything for the future yet. Until then, I'm free as a bird! And he knows it! That's why he's so intrigued with me now...

 

[Caramela]

I am currently in a relationship with a 41 year old Scorpio man. Currently, we are at a defining moment because Mr. Right wants to mediate, pray, create lists to make sure he will be making the right decision in regards to spending the rest of our lives together. I fully support his space and his proactive approach not to repeat the behaviors of the past. By the way he is never been married or engaged and his desire is to be married with kids. He has a lot of fear regarding relationships as do I… What suggestions may you offer me to support him to alleviate his anxieties regarding committed relationships (e.g., not working out in the end)? What thoughts do you have for me regarding overcoming my fears of thinking Mr. Right believes that there is someone else out there better than me…..

I am curious to learn your story and what you did to encourage him during this space and time?

That's easy. Prayer.

 

[frankie]

Splendid- Continue to be yourself. Let him know that you care about him and are looking for a future with a man that is willing to make a committment to you, and you to him. No ultimatums, no pleading, no deals...just be upfront and willing to walk away if he does not get with the program. Translation=He's a grown @ss man...tell him to stop whining and piss or get off the pot.

 

[Evolving78]

Very true! We seem to be on the same page today nvy
A man in his forties should know that his time is now.

If he is waiting for the perfect situation...well it might not happen. He is grown, he ought to know that.

I'm not going to lie, I'm struggling with this as we speak. I'm not going to wait very long let me tell you that. He happens to be a Scorpio too.

One very good solution is to put yourself out of the relationship for a while until he has thought things through. You can still be friends, but nothing more. Let him know that he is still in your "good book". That way he won't fear coming back.

At least that's what I did, and my ex hasn't stopped calling or trying to get back even for a week since we broke up. BUT - and this is a big but - we haven't decided anything for the future yet. Until then, I'm free as a bird! And he knows it! That's why he's so intrigued with me now...

That is some good advice right here!