He doesn't have papers

I think she is talking about his green or work permit card aka he is an illegal/unregistered citizen. Move on if you don't want to date a non documented worker. I doubt if your Mom was aware of that glitch. Folks stay not handling their business legal or illegal alien.
I knew someone that was a business owner that took 13 years to get his stuff in order but he did get his papers eventually the right way not via marriage.
 
I would tell him Holla at me when he has that situation figured out......until then find someone else who might if he gets deported... I've seen it time and time again. They woo you..marry you..gets that paper then forgets you.
 
sweetvi said:
I would tell him Holla at me when he has that situation figured out......until then find someone else who might if he gets deported... I've seen it time and time again. They woo you..marry you..gets that paper then forgets you.
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Took the words right out of my mouth. I've seen this as well. If I found myself in this situation I'd have to tell dude "chat to me when your landed" seriously. Guys in this situation think they are real slick.
 
Sweetvi is right about loads of stories of folks using folks for those citizenship papers then flipping the script. We even had some stories shared here about that mess.

My Nigerian guy friend got deported for not handling his business for no good reason. Now he can never get back into this Country. After 9/11 they ain't playin with darker skinned illegal folks. He is back in Lagos. Before I got into a relationship we used to talk via cell, yahoo im and f/b. He couldn't afford to pay my prices for marriage but I did offer to find him a hungry for money welfare or strugglin woman. LMBO He was offended by the offer!
 
Oh and they are usually the ones looking to settle down and very involved in church....


Err on the side of caution... The fact it has been ten years and no progress on his paperwork???
 
sweetvi said:
Oh and they are usually the ones looking to settle down and very involved in church....


Err on the side of caution... The fact it has been ten years and no progress on his paperwork???
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All communication has been cut off. A friend had me feeling some kind of way as if I was missing out something that could be great :ohwell:
 
If he was a permanent resident he would have been eligible to apply for US citizenship after 5 years of residency.

Its been 10 years which makes me assume he is not legally documented/did not apply for permanent residency (ie an illegal immigrant). Marrying a U.S. citizen can sweep that under the rug. I believe you made the right decision.
 
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I'd be too suspicious to even bother dating him. People get paid handsomely to marry illegals. A friend was offered $10K. It's nowhere near as bad as it was prior to 9/11 since the immigration officials do a lot more digging and follow up visits.
 
thatscuteright said:
All communication has been cut off. A friend had me feeling some kind of way as if I was missing out something that could be great :ohwell:
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I wouldnt cut him off completely. He would be in a pile on the side. have you asked him on why he's waiting so long? does he have a green card? How is it that he's able to work but not go to school? Usually its the other way around..?
 
How is it that he's able to work but not go to school?
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I was wondering the same thing, but either way, his intentions are not cute at all, esp. since he got to you through your mother. I wouldn't bother with that. I doubt that he even wants to go back to school, and is just giving you that as a line. Steer clear of that one.
 
Girl good choice... He probably working under someone else's name. They have all the tricks known to the world. I say this..If it was meant to be for you by God...there would no confusion or hesitation. He will arrange everything perfectly..
 
naturalmanenyc said:
I'd be too suspicious to even bother dating him. People get paid handsomely to marry illegals. A friend was offered $10K. It's nowhere near as bad as it was prior to 9/11 since the immigration officials do a lot more digging and follow up visits.
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Yeah someone offered me money i was no sir... he found someone else to marry though.

He's just looking for a woman to marry to get papers OP. You didnt lose anything by cutting off all contact.
 
Well I have found out, not first hand, that all these warnings posted here are fine and dandy until you're the one who fall in love. Then all common sense goes out the window. For you it's love. When it was somebody else, they were being suckered for a green card and their money.

OP, sorry for using your thread to vent.
 
Nope...I would have done 100% the same thing. I avoid the "sans- paier" aka paperless people quick..I do not want to me used in order for them to get it. They should be able to do that on their own.

thatscuteright said:
Scenario:

You are 31, relatively accomplished, have done well for yourself, mind your own business, and keep a low profile.

Your mom sets you up with a man from her church, nice, hard working, same faith, from parents country, etc.... You talk to him on the phone and exchange facebook friend requests.
After talking on the phone 2x, you discover that he has been in the country for 10 years, has a decent job but wants to go back to school to become a pharmacist or PA. He's 37, ambitious, hardworking and wants more for himself including wife and family.

He came here with the intention of furthering his education , you ask him why he was not able to, he tells you that he does not have legal papers. At that point your interest wains and you make some excuse about being busy and soon avoid all his calls.

Are you overreacting?

ETA:
He told your mom that he was looking for a nice young lady, God fearing, etc....because he is ready to be married and wants a wife .
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What if he turned out to be a pretty good guy tho? Who ended up loving and caring and providing the way any woman has ever dreamt about? Mind u, I'd be suspicious as all get up, but I kinda have in my mind also that he's a man who's in his prime who regardless of needing the papers, at this age would also want a wife and kids and to settle.....

But then again, that's kinda not ur prb lol. Me thinks he can find another woman who can give him all he desires. At the end of the day if ur uncomfortable, I agree with u exiting stage left.
 
SimFio said:
What if he turned out to be a pretty good guy tho? Who ended up loving and caring and providing the way any woman has ever dreamt about? Mind u, I'd be suspicious as all get up, but I kinda have in my mind also that he's a man who's in his prime who regardless of needing the papers, at this age would also want a wife and kids and to settle.....

But then again, that's kinda not ur prb lol. Me thinks he can find another woman who can give him all he desires. At the end of the day if ur uncomfortable, I agree with u exiting stage left.
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Le sigh........exactly, hence the need for reassurance :lol:
 
He's too old to not have his life together. IDK if real relationships work when there's something like that hanging over it. If he wants to get married for papers, he should do so as a business deal. I've had friends rush into things with someone like that. None of the marriages worked out. They all separated after 3+ years. My friends were all in their early 20s, if that makes a difference.
 
Did I read correctly that the parents are from another country and he's from that same country? I'm surprised they don't know then?
 
A friend of mine just married a guy from Africa who asked her to marry him during the first date. She converted to his faith after a few months of dating him. She didn't invite me to the wedding. She seems happy.
 
It's easier for a man to get married... so many women waiting on a man to ask them... if he's been here for 10 years and he wanted to get married just for papers, he would have been married already.

Find out about the man and his exact situation from HIM and maybe others who know him personally. Coming on a message board for that type of advice is never the best idea. Get to know the guy if you think he is a man worth knowing and decide for yourself what his true intentions are based on your interacting with him. Don't rush into anything... just pace yourself in a way that you're comfortable.
 
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