Have you ever asked an ex what went wrong?

[locabouthair]

Or if there was something about you that turned him off?


If you find yourself in a pattern of falling for the wrong men, sometimes you do have to look inward and ask what is it that's attracting these men into your life.

I'm just curious, did anyone ever ask an old SO, or someone they used to date what turned them off?

How did it go? Do you think by you asking it stroked his ego?

Disclaimer: I am NOT saying it is always the woman's fault or that we need to be crawling back to a man.

 

[foxxymami]

Well I sort of did, but he only said that he "still feels like he did the right thing [in ending the relationship]". So he didn't really answer the question.

But, for the most part I kind of already know what went wrong with an ex. I don't even worry about asking exes because 99% of the time, we both were ready to let it go

 

[sunshinebeautiful]

Yeah, I've asked, but I find that you don't get a straight answer when you ask anyway.

 

[locabouthair]

Yeah, I've asked, but I find that you don't get a straight answer when you ask anyway.

Yeah I was thinking that also.

 

[FeelinIt]

Yeah I was thinking that also.

I asked a guy straight up what was wrong about me because I found myself attracting the same type of relationships. He danced around the question and didn't really answer it. I really wanted to know but again no straight answer.

It was almost as if he was afraid to answer it.

 

[plastic]

i asked him what was wrong with me .. he said nothing .. that i was perfect and he still loved me ! ... i wish .. he told me i was miserable as hell!

 

[blkbeauty]

I was in a relationship for 10 years with my ex. I knew exactly what went wrong and that is with asking or without asking. It was simple. We stayed together although we knew very much we weren't each other's type.

He said that my soft spoken, reserved personality annoyed him. He wished that I had morew "attitude" and that sometime I seemed emotionally detached. He also had some personality issues that did not compliment me either, but I never put him down for it like he did me.

Although he has told me these things, I started to believe that I was this "alien" from all the criticism. I am now with someone who is more "my type". Mentally, we get along great!!! However, I still am watchful of my exes opinions of me.

 

[HoneyDew]

My ex and I are actually having a heart to heart this Saturday for this very reason.

I think it may be too soon, but part of me wants to really have this conversation.

Honestly, I would like to know from an ex I was was about 6 years ago. I would love to know his impression of things. I can only go on my side of the story.

Those have been the only 2 men that I really cared a lot for. The rest - I don't care why it ended. LOL

 

[TLC1020]

Yes I did about two weeks ago, We were together for 4 years, from senior year of high school til sophomore year of college. He said that he loved me alot and always thought we would be together, but he still wanted to do his thing. He said there is only one ex that he really cared about and that was me .

 

[babydollhair]

Yes I did about two weeks ago, We were together for 4 years, from senior year of high school til sophomore year of college. He said that he loved me alot and always thought we would be together, but he still wanted to do his thing. He said there is only one ex that he really cared about and that was me .

I heard the same thing about letting him do his thing, have his fun, but i really want 2 be with u, in the future ;/. I still can't believe that, like im supposed go on layway good girl plan. Please! See that's why you are an ex..., i can't front though i still miss him and pray he growup! i gots men checking me out constantly and i wonder is the boi ever going to see what he missing, waste of time self!

 

[Maa Maa omo mti]

yes I did with all of my exes. Grand result.........

I'm too impatient!!!



oh yeah to add I'm the one that normally ends up moving on cause they didn't act the way I want them to.

 

[Highly Favored8]

Yes, I will ask this man eventually!

 

[locabouthair]

I was in a relationship for 10 years with my ex. I knew exactly what went wrong and that is with asking or without asking. It was simple. We stayed together although we knew very much we weren't each other's type.

He said that my soft spoken, reserved personality annoyed him. He wished that I had morew "attitude" and that sometime I seemed emotionally detached. He also had some personality issues that did not compliment me either, but I never put him down for it like he did me.

Although he has told me these things, I started to believe that I was this "alien" from all the criticism. I am now with someone who is more "my type". Mentally, we get along great!!! However, I still am watchful of my exes opinions of me.

I think guys I used to date could say the same for me.

There's a guy I used to date, that I was really feeling. I am really curious as to what it was about me that turned him off. Part of me feels like he just didn't want to get serious with anyone. I am scared to ask because I'm afraid I'll just stroke his ego and he wont even be honest

 

[ThickHair]

He told me he loved me but I was mean, evil and always wanted my way. Anyhoo, if he would have "Manned up" and took care of stuff, I wouldn't have been mean and evil.

2 guys told me the same thing. The first was my ex husband and the second one that I dated briefly after the divorce. He couldn't man up either, his kids walked all over him, he was a "Daddy Bank" to grown arse kids who couldn't stay out of trouble.

I have to get with stronger dudes, I guess I have a thing for weak men, yet I can't stand them at the same them.

 

[metro_qt]

i asked him what was wrong with me .. he said nothing .. that i was perfect and he still loved me ! ... i wish .. he told me i was miserable as hell!

Yep, That's exactly what I got...
and he loved me, but he was scared of his feelings, he still loves me... and wants to try again.. blah blah blah...


this has happened to me twice.

I've only asked when it was out-of-the-clear-blue-sky breakups...
lol. which have happened to me twice.

 

[vestaluv1]

Never had to ask.
I've always got rid of their a$$.

 

[lux10023]

i dont ask ex'es since im the one who ends things--now if they ended thing si prob would ask what are the characetristics in which they felt if xyz was changed it would of made a difference


but i do ask my SO that im in a serious exclusive relationship with if there is anything i need to work on or they would like me to change-- i think feedback is nec in a relationship and it gives both ppl a time to discuss their likes/ dislikes about the person they r with--i am a fan of the truth such that we can openly communicate things to prevent ish from hitting the fan

 

[chickory_bee]

I have, and he was honest with me...We're still good friends and he thinks we're going to ge married one day

He cheated on me with my RA, but he says it wasn't really cheating since he and I were never sexually active erplexed