Has anyone ever heard of relaxing ONLY the ENDS?

[Dayjoy]

I am having the MOST DIFFICULT time with my DD's hair. I'm posting this here instead of in the Children's forum because I know traffic here is way heavier. I think she is 4c (ZERO curl pattern, never shiny-just a sheen, shrinkage at over 50%) with fine strands. She is almost 9 years old and I am now figuring out that her entire hair isn't as difficult to manage as I thought. It's just the ends. Detangling is a challenge because of the ends. I can get the comb (or TT) through except for the ends. I start at the ends and detangle up, but by the time I get through the length the ends are all tangled up again like I never combed through them. I thought the ends were bad and have been trimming. She has gone from BSL to APL and is losing that. I don't want to cut again because she doesn't need it. There are one or two splits here and there, but she doesn't need a trim. She wanted her hair straight and I couldn't get a good blow-dry because I can't take the brush through the ends. There were little 1/8-1/4" pieces of hair all over the floor. I was so depressed. I wanted her to leave my house for college at 18 still natural. Now I almost don't care. I've been thinking about heat training, but the ends don't "take." What I want to do now is comb relaxer through the last 1/4" of her hair. I feel like if I could comb through the bottom of her hair that it wouldn't break off like it does now. I don't want her hair relaxed, I just want to be able to detangle it, put down the comb, and still be able to comb it again a minute later.

I REALLY appreciate anyone reading this and any advice you can give.

 

[snillohsss]

I don't have any real advice. My first thought though is that this might lead to severe breakage since the ends are the most fragile.

 

[Roux]

I don't understand how her hair is tangling after detangling that quickly especially if she has no curls. can you post photos of her hair and her regimen and your detangling process?

 

[Roux]

my daughters hair is 4a/3c and I detangle her hair in small sections with a TT and when i'm done with that section I twist it and move on to the next.

 

[Dayjoy]

(eta: response to snilloh--you all are quick!)I know, but I'm thinking the ends couldn't break off any more than they are now, well, of course they could, but right now the cause it all the tangles.

 

[Myjourney2009]

Dont relax her hair just for the ends.

I know you said you tried heat training and it did not take. How about giving it a try again; some hair takes longer to train than others.

 

[KurlyNinja]

I'm not sure what exactly may be wrong, but I know relaxing the ends will not help with tangling issues. It may actually make it worse. It something about relaxed ends being on a large portion of natural hair that just make it stick and even loc together. So the 1/4" of relaxed ends will eventually break off if you dont decide to cut it off yourself. Relaxing is not the solution in this problem.

 

[FlowerHair]

I think it's normal for natural hair to tangle as soon as you've detangled it, it happens to me too. I don't worry about it though, I just ignore it. There will never come a day when I can brush or comb my dry hair from root to tip. That's just not going to happen. It can only happen when it's completely wet and soaked with conditioner.

What I would do is what Roux said, to twist or braid the section as soon as it's detangled and keep it like that.

It sounds as if her ends are weak, since they break off so easily, so I'm thinking that a relaxer isn't going to help make the hair stronger?

I hope there's an expert here that can help you... Don't give up!

 

[sunnieb]

Don't do it!

And this is coming from a die hard relaxed head!

I'm sure someone will post some tips for you (I don't have any), but please don't relax your baby's ends!

Sent from my Comet using Long Hair Care Forum App

 

[lilsparkle825]

If her hair type is 4c, her ends will break off almost as soon as you put that relaxer on them. We went through something similar with my sister, and long story short, the texture difference is not something you'd wanna work with.

Please tell me you are braiding or twisting each section up after you detangle it. It will surely re-tangle if you are leaving it loose.

 

[classychic1908]

What type of products are you using on her hair? Also what state is her hair in when you manipulate it ( wet, air dried, etc)?

My son's MBL hair is very coily on the ends and I find that it's best to work with his hair while it is very wet and I use heavy products on his hair concentrating on working it through the ends. I don't ever use shampoo in his hair and we've been using AOWC as a leave in sealed with castor oil. I like to set his twists with KCCC. I work with his hair in braided sections to keep it from tangling and use a spray bottle of water to keep the hair wet as I twist. I also use my fingers mostly to detangle his hair and the TT if he has lint or something stuck in his ends. I moisturize his hair daily with a spritz of aloe juice and veggie glycerin, making sure that his ends stay moisturized and sealed.

I think it's going to take some time, and trial and error to figure out what works for her, but IMHO, a relaxer is not the answer.

 

[Dayjoy]

I don't understand how her hair is tangling after detangling that quickly especially if she has no curls. can you post photos of her hair and her regimen and your detangling process?

Usually I style her hair in small sectioned braids or twists. I take down the braids or twists, spray with a detangler (Silken Child, Kid's Organics, or Jane Carter spray),add aloe vera and an oil (using Kemi lately) and detangle to remove shed hair. I wash every two weeks focusing on the scalp and just squeezing the shampoo through the length in an effort to not tangle. I d/c with heat choosing the con based on how her hair feels. Then I detangle with Jane Carter using the TT and/or a wide tooth comb, then I switch to a less wide comb and add JC Butter and re-braid or twist.

Occasionally she asks for her hair straight and that's when I have problems. I detangled a small section, put down the TT, picked up the Denman to blow it and couldn't. As soon as I finish with a section, the hair shrinks right up and wraps around itself again, and it's only the ends. I though her hair was problematic, but again, it's just the ends. When I condition, I always make sure to apply enough to the ends. I just don't know why they do that.

 

[me-T]

i think maybe continue with heat training, like myjourney said. i've been doing so for 3 months now and my ends are still on my nerves. getting better, but still on my nerves.

i'm happily surprised no one has come in to bash about relaxing the ends. (or maybe i need to wait for it...)

 

[Dayjoy]

i think maybe continue with heat training, like myjourney said. i've been doing so for 3 months now and my ends are still on my nerves. getting better, but still on my nerves.

i'm happily surprised no one has come in to bash about relaxing the ends. (or maybe i need to wait for it...)

I really wanted you all to talk me down. I don't want to be bashed, but I do want to be stopped--and helped.

With the heat training--every time I've straightened her hair, the length does fine and the ends are still tangly. I flat iron using the comb-chase method and the ends never look straightened. It looks like two different straightened hair types. It messes up her whole hairstyle. Maybe I can just heat train the ends, her length doesn't need training--but maybe that could be just as bad as relaxing the ends.

 

[NikStarrr]

Don't the relax the ends. From how you describe her hair type--it's sure to break off. Why not do some cute braided styles?

 

[Napp]

how often do you trim her ends evenly?

 

[MissMusic]

When is the last time u did some kind of Porosity treatment?

 

[Dayjoy]

Don't the relax the ends. From how you describe her hair type--it's sure to break off. Why not do some cute braided styles?

I braid her hair 90% of the time, but occasionally I'll straighten it for her. She already enjoys the versatility of her natural hair. Also, she is a competitive ice skater and skates on a team too and I have a hard time getting her hair into the required, team-uniform single high ponytail when it isn't straightened at least a little.

how often do you trim her ends evenly?

I trim about twice a year. Because her hair is usually braided or twisted and I take however much time is necessary to detangle her hair on wash days (which is ALL day), her ends are actually not splitting badly. I think I overdid it on the last one and took away more length than was necessary because the ends looked so much like they needed it. But it wasn't even split that high.

 

[Dayjoy]

When is the last time u did some kind of Porosity treatment?

I never have. I bought it, but just wasn't sure when I needed it. Can I apply it to the ends only, or will it work only on the parts that need it?

 

[mscocoface]

I have the same issue. How many times does she like to have her hair straighten? I have only straighten my hair less than 4 times in the past 6 years.

When I blow dry it will curl right back upon itself quicker than I can say boo. I have not found a solution to this because I very rarely use the blow dryer. Even in cool setting this happens and I have to then go right back and detangle the ends even if I just want to twist my hair after blowdrying.

Again, I have not done this much because I don't like watching the remains of my hair on the floor, especially the ends.

Would be great to get someone in this thread to give remedies but the longer it stays natural this is the issue and I have just accepted this as normal for 4z hair.

 

[Napp]

I braid her hair 90% of the time, but occasionally I'll straighten it for her. She already enjoys the versatility of her natural hair. Also, she is a competitive ice skater and skates on a team too and I have a hard time getting her hair into the required, team-uniform single high ponytail when it isn't straightened at least a little.

I trim about twice a year. Because her hair is usually braided or twisted and I take however much time is necessary to detangle her hair on wash days (which is ALL day), her ends are actually not splitting badly. I think I overdid it on the last one and took away more length than was necessary because the ends looked so much like they needed it. But it wasn't even split that high.

i just know that evenly trimmed hair tangles less. maybe you can try using some vaseline/grease/crisco on the ends to strech them out a bit and prevent tangling.

 

[hothair]

Please tell me you are braiding or twisting each section up after you detangle it. It will surely re-tangle if you are leaving it loose.

Co-signing. Also if you're trying to straighten, while the hair is wet section it in 4 or 5 and put them in pigtails and braid/twist the hair to the ends.

Blowdry section by section (this is after a serious moisturising DC) using the tension method to stretch the hair as much as possible, put back the bands in each section as you move on, you can then flatiron still in those sections.

Initially the ends may still be frizzy this is normal - you can get a flatiron comb looks something like this

while flatironing it really helps with that, the ends will become smooth after about the third straightening.

There's a tutorial for straightening natural hair by bermuda beauty i think it really helped me.

 

[Dayjoy]

I have the same issue. How many times does she like to have her hair straighten? I have only straighten my hair less than 4 times in the past 6 years.

When I blow dry it will curl right back upon itself quicker than I can say boo. I have not found a solution to this because I very rarely use the blow dryer. Even in cool setting this happens and I have to then go right back and detangle the ends even if I just want to twist my hair after blowdrying.

Again, I have not done this much because I don't like watching the remains of my hair on the floor, especially the ends.

Would be great to get someone in this thread to give remedies but the longer it stays natural this is the issue and I have just accepted this as normal for 4z hair.

I won't straighten it as often as she asks, but I'll do it for picture day and a few more times a year. That is outside of team skating season. I checked my logs and realized that last year during competition season I flat ironed her hair four washes in a row. I've only done it once for skating this year.

i just know that evenly trimmed hair tangles less. maybe you can try using some vaseline/grease/crisco on the ends to strech them out a bit and prevent tangling.

Unfortunately, her ends don't get straight enough to be even after a trim. I could probably get them straighter than I do, but I don't want the temp on the iron that high. Maybe I could just add SMB to the ends only when I flat iron.

 

[Dayjoy]

Co-signing. Also if you're trying to straighten, while the hair is wet section it in 4 or 5 and put them in pigtails and braid/twist the hair to the ends.

Blowdry section by section (this is after a serious moisturising DC) using the tension method to stretch the hair as much as possible, put back the bands in each section as you move on, you can then flatiron still in those sections.

Initially the ends may still be frizzy this is normal - you can get a flatiron comb looks something like this

while flatironing it really helps with that, the ends will become smooth after about the third straightening.

There's a tutorial for straightening natural hair by bermuda beauty i think it really helped me.

I'm really afraid of heat damage and try to pass the iron only once, maybe twice on each section. I'd like to go over the ends more, but I'm scared of frying them. I use a rat tail comb that I chase with the flat iron. Even when the comb passes through, the ends are still frizzy.

Thanks to everyone that has answered! I'm starting to feel that maybe her ends are on the spectrum of normal based on what some of you have said. I think I'll try the Porosity Control. I also hadn't thought to use SMB on her ends. I'll try that too.

 

[KhandiB]

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease dont do it!

signed;
Another Die Hard Relaxed Head

Don't do it!

And this is coming from a die hard relaxed head!

I'm sure someone will post some tips for you (I don't have any), but please don't relax your baby's ends!

Sent from my Comet using Long Hair Care Forum App

 

[libertysince05]

i wonder if threading or banding to stretch before using a blow dryer and flat iron wont get you better results.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IB9idPI0KHs&feature=related
my ends tangle so i wash and dry in sections, using higher temperature on my ends.

 

[Nasdaq_Diva]

Have you ever tried to baggy her ends overnight?

 

[Roux]

with my daughters hair when I blow dry i only use the tension method and it is just as effective as using a comb attachment.

 

[Roux]

maybe the heat is making it worse as well.

 

[schipperchow1]

I wouldn't suggest relaxing the ends. Have you tried using a heavier moisturizer on the ends, such as Qhemet AOHC or the Olive & Honey Balm?