Has anyone been married and thought it was orchestrated/ordained by God

LucieLoo12 said:
I just had two close friends of mine leave the church because they received counsel that it was not good at this time to marry.My pastor did not say no, he just said wait. They need to grow more spiritually.The man felt just because he had a good job and his own home that he was ready, but it takes way more than a job and a house to qualify you for marriage. Thats where people mess up, THEY determine when they ready for marriage and don't let God tell them when they are ready. The bible says he increases you and adds no sorrow to it. When God gives you something you will not have to go out of the will of God to keep it. The bible says every gift from God is PERFECT. But alot of times flesh don't want to wait, it wants things when it wants it. Thats why we must die to our will and surrender to the will of God. For the people that may have ended up in wrong marriages, God always sends warnings. He will not let his people go astray unknowingly. Thats why we have to desire God more than anything, for where your heart is that is what you will treasure.
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I believe the best marriages are when both are spiritually mature and some people may not make good wives or husbands yet, however no one walking is a perfect individual. According to the word of God the qualifications for marriage are pretty simple, meaning that we must be in the Lord. Also it says it is better to get married than to burn. If you know you are living a celibate life, and feel that the road will be to hard to keep then it's best to get married. The reason why you have so many burning singles is because an act that was reserved for marriage is no longer held within those boundaries. I personally don't feel the guy should not get married due to "spiritual growth" unless there are other issues like him being abusive, unfaithful, a negligent father or any signs that he won't treat his wife well.
 
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The bible says marry whom you will in the Lord but many take this as marry whom you will in the church. Just because someone is in church does not mean they are in God.That's why so many women get tricked because they are caught up because the brother sit on the first row, he carry a bible and have a holy dance. But what is the brother's dedication to God? Look at the fruit. Is he subject to his leader? Is he subject to the Lord? When you are in the "Lord" it will cause you to mature over time. And I am not saying my spouse would have to "perfect" per say to enter into marriage, but if he is selfish, childish, can't take correction, confrontational, sensual (meaning being led by his feelings and not the word of God) he is not ready to be married. Spiritual growth has ALOT to do with it. You want someone who is mature. Even in the world women dont want a childish man, so how much more in God?

If someone does marry because they can't wait and are "burning"..that dont solve anything either. Yea you can now have sex without it being sin but you have a whoolleeee other set of issues to deal with now. And marriage dont cure lust..I know married people that still lust. So if someone marry because they can't contain themselves, the spirit of lust is still not broken. We must be delievered. And yes the scripture does say it is better to marry than burn. But I'm sorry, that's not the testimony I want. "We got married because we really want to have sex". :ohwell: No thanks. I want to say I got married because He was a man of God and God made us both complete before we met each other and when we came together, we did not make each other, but we only added to each other.

Now concerning my friend, this would have been a big sign that he was not ready to be married. So the pastor told him he needed to wait a little and he gets mad and leaves? He didn't tell him no.Is that maturity? What is he gone do when his wife makes him upset? He gone leave then too. I want a husband that can take advice and correction and not be quick to react based on what he feels but I need a husband that will lead me according to the word of God.

See people dont know what a husband is really for. He is your spiritual LEADER. He is suppose to lead you. So yes maturity and growth is a BIIGGG deal. This man is going to lead your household, you and your kids. A husband is just not for sex and fixing things around the house, he is your head, your covering.


FlyyBohemian said:
I believe the best marriages are when both are spiritually mature and some people may not make good wives or husbands yet, however no one walking is a perfect individual. According the word of God the qualifications for marriage are pretty simple, meaning that we must be in the Lord. Also it says it is better to get married than to burn. If you know you are living a celibate life, and feel that the road will be to hard to keep then it's best to get married. The reason why you have so many burning singles is because an act that was reserved for marriage is no longer held within those boundaries. I personally don't feel the guy should not get married due to "spiritual growth" unless there are other issues like him being abusive, unfaithful, a negligent father or any signs that he won't treat his wife well.
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letskeepntouch said:
I'm a christian and when I married my first husband, I felt God warned me that it wasn't the right thing to do but I let my family talk me into believing I just had cold feet. Like some of you, I felt that we did everything right. On paper he seemed like the perfect man. On paper, he still does. We have a son together and we are still cordial but he's departed from the faith and moved to the other side of the world. I'm sure that was exactly what God was trying to prevent for me. I've learned to listen intently for that "still small voice" before making major decisions. Sometimes the entire "pray and wait for an answer" process still stumps me though.
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Just so there is no confusion we married at a very early age and I had my son about three years into our marriage. I could blame it on our immaturity but I know that it was not what God wanted for me. After lots of counseling at my church's life care center, I remarried almost 5 years ago. I really do feel like I did this with God's blessing, this time.

One thing we have to remember though is that God can turn around a marriage that you entered into as a "mistake". That doesn't mean you should set about doing it on purpose but I've seen Him restore marriages and bring two people to Christ that were lost and I've seen him restore a marriage by saving the lost spouse. This may not be typical but it is discussed in 1 Corinthians 7. I say that because if there's someone out there struggling with a divorce, there is still hope. The goal is always restoration and reconciliation although sometimes things are beyond our control and they don't end up that way.
 
@letskeepintouch

You have made some very good points sis! :yep:

The bible says EVERYTHING works together for the good of those that love the Lord. So even a bad marriage.

but 1Cor 7 does talk about a sanctified wife can sanctify her husband. Someone christians do marrry unsaved spouses but even in that it's still hope. This lady at my church did, but she kept praying and being that example before him and he is a pastor now. She did have to go through allooott before it happen, but it did. So there is nothing to hard for God.God is still of God of healing and restoration.We have had couples who had divorced but once they got themselves together spiritually, they reconciled.

letskeepntouch said:
Just so there is no confusion we married at a very early age and I had my son about three years into our marriage. I could blame it on our immaturity but I know that it was not what God wanted for me. After lots of counseling at my church's life care center, I remarried almost 5 years ago. I really do feel like I did this with God's blessing, this time.

One thing we have to remember though is that God can turn around a marriage that you entered into as a "mistake". That doesn't mean you should set about doing it on purpose but I've seen Him restore marriages and bring two people to Christ that were lost and I've seen him restore a marriage by saving the lost spouse. This may not be typical but it is discussed in 1 Corinthians 7. I say that because if there's someone out there struggling with a divorce, there is still hope. The goal is always restoration and reconciliation although sometimes things are beyond our control and they don't end up that way.
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LucieLoo12 said:
@letskeepintouch

You have made some very good points sis! :yep:

The bible says EVERYTHING works together for the good of those that love the Lord. So even a bad marriage.

but 1Cor 7 does talk about a sanctified wife can sanctify her husband. Someone christians do marrry unsaved spouses but even in that it's still hope. This lady at my church did, but she kept praying and being that example before him and he is a pastor now. She did have to go through allooott before it happen, but it did. So there is nothing to hard for God.God is still of God of healing and restoration.We have had couples who had divorced but once they got themselves together spiritually, they reconciled.
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I wish reconciliation was always the outcome :ohwell:
 
I dated my husband for 3 years before we got married. A lot of women don't want to wait. I have a girl friend who met this guy and after 6 weeks they were married; the man told her he was sent by God and she believed him. They are no longer married.

I saw my husband in lots of different situations. I met his family, he met my family. I saw how he dealt with me when I was ill, how he handled my son's passing. I saw, how he treated his Mom, his ex-wife, friends, my friends. Yes, it took a long time, but when we got married, we were both sure. He told me, God told him, I was the one, but until I heard it from God, I wasn't going to get married. We have now been married almost 14 years......14 happy years :yep:.

We have to be patient, get to know the person, his family, friends, everyone in his life. Being equally yoked is very important. Be obedient to God always....listen always.
 
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Coffee said:
I dated my husband for 3 years before we got married. A lot of women don't want to wait. I have a girl friend who met this guy and after 6 weeks they were married; the man told her he was sent by God and she believed him. They are no longer married.

I saw my husband in lots of different situations. I met his family, he met my family. I saw how he dealt with me when I was ill, how he handled my son's passing. I saw, how he treated his Mom, his ex-wife, friends, my friends. Yes, it took a long time, but when we got married, we were both sure. He told me, God told him, I was the one, but until I heard it from God, I wasn't going to get married. We have now been married almost 14 years......14 happy years :yep:.

We have to be patient, get to know the person, his family, friends, everyone in his life. Being equally yoked is very important. Be obedient to God always....listen always.
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I now refer to this as 'social dating', which is the only form of dating I subscribe to now. It makes so much sense to me now, I even talked about it with my sister yesterday. I used to have this 'us against the world' mentality and it certainly didn't serve me, au countraire:nono: I've learned my lesson. (sorry about this being slightly OT).
 
Aviah said:
Then gotten divorced?
Its a serious question.

What do you think happened?
Do you blame God in a way, or just think it was human error?
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People think that G-d only ordains perfection...He does not. He works tirelessly with broken beings called humans and sometimes, there is no storybook ending within His plan. That is a concept that is difficult for most christians. People have free will. He has not promised anybody on earth a perfect marriage nor perfect health and finances etc. But He certainly knows who will come together for whichever reason and esp. to create new people.

Whether you stick it out or not, sometimes things happen and people change. That is life. For those who remain in situations that have developed that are not stellar, they are certainly dealing with a difficult situation. That's not to say that you are doomed to destruction. No. But there are no perfect people and in the best of marriages, there exists some strife at times.
 
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I guess most would say that my husband and I are unequally yoked. He was raised as a Jehovah's Witness and I was raised in the church. I do believe that God brought us together. I pray for my husband's salvation continually. I can see God doing some major things in his life. Most would not believe it, but we are very happily married. He is one of the best things that has ever happened to me.
 
Miss Kane said:
I guess most would say that my husband and I are unequally yoked. He was raised as a Jehovah's Witness and I was raised in the church. I do believe that God brought us together. I pray for my husband's salvation continually. I can see God doing some major things in his life. Most would not believe it, but we are very happily married. He is one of the best things that has ever happened to me.
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Miss Kane I totally understand you. My FH is Catholic. Now that's not meant to be offensive to anyone who is Catholic. I just felt that our belief systems would make us incompatible but he is a good man, extremely gentle and supportive and I'm glad I stuck around. He is nothing like I thought he'd be. I also believe that God put this man in my life unlike the first time when I knew better from day one. Your husband will drawn to Jesus through your faithfulness.

Sent from my 4G HTC Thunderbolt using LHCF
 
if you are in a relationship for a significant period of time, a fairly easy 'red flag' that is often raised is him trying to pressure you to have pre-marital sex. pressuring me to have sex means two things 1) he has a thin understanding of the Word or just doesn't value the teaching on that issue 2) he may very likely have his desires satisfied elsewhere since i won't comply.

I mention sex because it is something that a straight man will be interested and if he isn't strong in faith he will try to see how far he can get with you. sure, you two may cross a boundary, which is bad but that's a mutually shared issue and one that you will need to repent of. i'm talking about him cajoling and prodding you to take your clothes off :look: by month 6 of holding hands and pecks on the cheek a scoundrel will make himself known. trust. :yep: its clear that we aren't equally yoked.

as for the OP. i'm not married but every real life story I've heard from older women included warning signs.
 
LovelyNaps26 said:
if you are in a relationship for a significant period of time, a fairly easy 'red flag' that is often raised is him trying to pressure you to have pre-marital sex. pressuring me to have sex means two things 1) he has a thin understanding of the Word or just doesn't value the teaching on that issue 2) he may very likely have his desires satisfied elsewhere since i won't comply.

I mention sex because it is something that a straight man will be interested and if he isn't strong in faith he will try to see how far he can get with you. sure, you two may cross a boundary, which is bad but that's a mutually shared issue and one that you will need to repent of. i'm talking about him cajoling and prodding you to take your clothes off :look: by month 6 of holding hands and pecks on the cheek a scoundrel will make himself known. trust. :yep: its clear that we aren't equally yoked.

as for the OP. i'm not married but every real life story I've heard from older women included warning signs.
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Hmm...6 months... Talk about 1 week!
 
I dated my husband 6 years before we married. I was 18 he was 19 and we were college students when we met. Had we married sooner, we would be divorced by now. We had to break up, get closer to God, lean only on him. I broke up with him about 5 years into dating because God was leading me towards it, and DH was getting on my nerves. I was maturing seemingly faster. It was fortunately never a cheating or abuse issue, just control and growing pains, and emotions. But I obeyed. Looking back I think God was telling me to lean on HIM for my desire to be loved and cherished...Not on a man. And I told my BF (now DH) that. He didn't understand then. I don't know but I wanted to share that. He shaped up, and got his self together. And proposed a year later. We got married 9 mos after that.

Anyhoo. Ladies ignore outside influence for better (Oh child he's a GOOD man, keep him) or worse (uh uh girl keep away from him)...My friends and family did the second one. He was just a regular dude. Loved me, cared for me, spoiled me with expensive gifts, but had a little attitude! I prayed on it and God showed me otherwise....But I was confused because he didn't show me marriage. Anyways, ultimately we BOTH matured....I listened and leaned on God, and challenged my BF before he proposed to be a better man. And he stepped on up. Now the same family members and friends see the man God was trying to show me. Marriage was the surprise. A GOOD marriage was the bonus. Its not perfect but its God-led!

ETA: As for the first (Girl he's a Good man), God will show you his heart. While we were having our little fights, I asked God to show me my man's true colors...and I saw it. I saw his heart. And I knew he was worth keeping. In due time a good or bad man's heart will eventually show. Then the decision gets easier.
 
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