Has an ex ever wanted you back?

[Nevaeh1282]

Have any of you ladies ever found yourself in such a situation? How did you decide whether to take him back or not?

Case in point... myself and and and ex broke up a few years ago mainly because of the distance, but we always hooked back up whenever I was home on holiday. To cut a long story short, we had a massive falling out because he had always said that when I move back home for good he'd like us to try again, then when it was close to the time for me to move back home I heard he'd been checking somebody else. Yes, it was selfish of me to be angry considering we weren't a couple.... but that's not really important at the mo'.
Anyhoo, we've recently gotten back on speaking terms after hardly being civil to each other for months... and he has told me how much he misses me and that he'd like for us to try again.

My thing is this: we've shared so much and I know I'll always have a soft spot for him.. probably the only man I've ever loved BUT he's an ex for a reason right? Should I even venture back onto that territory?

Right now I'm holding out... but is that the right decision? *sigh* why can't life be simple...

 

[lady lina]

Has an ex wanted me back? Yes . . . Should I have just said no and kept it moving, hell ya. He wasn't ready for me.
As yourself this.... Do you love him enough to give him another chance? If there is any doubt... maybe you can take it slow. Be "friends" to see where it goes. If he wants you back he will go that extra mile to show you that he is for real.
HTH

 

[DivineNapps1728]

Yes I've had an ex wanted me back before. The first time we split it was for a month & we did try again because we'd split for no apparent reason. More recently he's been dropping hints, but I'm not going for it at all; we've grown into very different people and the woman that I am now is not trying to go backwards!

Your ex boo is an ex for a reason...ask yourself if the issues that led to the break up have been rectified & if you're both on a level that will allow your relationship to thrive. Personally I'd get to know him again then go from there; he may not be the same guy you left behind or maybe he hasn't changed and that's a negative.

 

[Blessed_Angel]

You'll have to decide if you want him back or not. Were you happy when you were with him?

My ex tried getting back with me for years. He would do and give me whatever I wanted. But he had nothing of what I was looking for in a man. And I couldn't me living the life I now live with him. I wanted a man that was trying to do something with his life; and he was just too lax and unmotivated. Besides, his conversation was practically boring and non-existent. Don't know how I lasted as long as I did with him. He's a sweetheart though. I hope he finds love elsewhere.

 

[Nevaeh1282]

Has an ex wanted me back? Yes . . . Should I have just said no and kept it moving, hell ya. He wasn't ready for me.
As yourself this.... Do you love him enough to give him another chance? If there is any doubt... maybe you can take it slow. Be "friends" to see where it goes. If he wants you back he will go that extra mile to show you that he is for real.
HTH

Yes I think I love him enough to give him a second chance... but I'm hesitant because apart from our issues we're pretty good friends, we can talk about practically anything. And that's what I don;t want to risk losing: the friendship... but then I'm thinkin what is life without a few risks? *sigh*

Yes I've had an ex wanted me back before. The first time we split it was for a month & we did try again because we'd split for no apparent reason. More recently he's been dropping hints, but I'm not going for it at all; we've grown into very different people and the woman that I am now is not trying to go backwards!

Your ex boo is an ex for a reason...ask yourself if the issues that led to the break up have been rectified & if you're both on a level that will allow your relationship to thrive. Personally I'd get to know him again then go from there; he may not be the same guy you left behind or maybe he hasn't changed and that's a negative.

Well the falling out was over distance and I guess that has been rectified.

You'll have to decide if you want him back or not. Were you happy when you were with him?

My ex tried getting back with me for years. He would do and give me whatever I wanted. But he had nothing of what I was looking for in a man. And I couldn't me living the life I now live with him. I wanted a man that was trying to do something with his life; and he was just too lax and unmotivated. Besides, his conversation was practically boring and non-existent. Don't know how I lasted as long as I did with him. He's a sweetheart though. I hope he finds love elsewhere.

Yeh, for the most part we were happy. And well... the horizontal tango was pretty memorable! LOL... maybe I'm just lusting

 

[Candy_C]

Of course

i'm a good girl, and when i'm treated wrong i end the relationship

all my exes have wanted me back at one point, i thought it was common

 

[new-life]

Have any of you ladies ever found yourself in such a situation? How did you decide whether to take him back or not?

Case in point... myself and and and ex broke up a few years ago mainly because of the distance, but we always hooked back up whenever I was home on holiday. To cut a long story short, we had a massive falling out because he had always said that when I move back home for good he'd like us to try again, then when it was close to the time for me to move back home I heard he'd been checking somebody else. Yes, it was selfish of me to be angry considering we weren't a couple.... but that's not really important at the mo'.
Anyhoo, we've recently gotten back on speaking terms after hardly being civil to each other for months... and he has told me how much he misses me and that he'd like for us to try again.

My thing is this: we've shared so much and I know I'll always have a soft spot for him.. probably the only man I've ever loved BUT he's an ex for a reason right? Should I even venture back onto that territory?

Right now I'm holding out... but is that the right decision? *sigh* why can't life be simple...

I guess no one else read that part but, it sounds like he just wanna keep you around until he finds something better. Because if he was really serious about getting back with you he wouldn't have already been on someone else. It wasn't exactly "selfish" of you to be angry, considering the fact that he keeps filling your head up with future plans that he hasn't lived up to. It is kinda crazy of you to expect anything from him from what you said in the bolded, but i know how that is- we all go through it. He's actually the selfish one for trying to keep you around until he finds another chick. In this case, I believe an ex is an ex for a reason and I think you might be setting yourself up for more heartache. JMO.

 

[Highly Favored8]

Yes, it depends on the reason when a female can want and ex back.
I.E. finances, companionship etc....
However, when an ex is an ex it is always for a reason. Yes, I can seperate for a while.

However, when the issues are so deep rooted that you just cannot go back and keep it moving forward. This is where I am at with my X /FH.

Or another situation can be when a man is verbally abuisve within the realtionship if a woman is strong enough who cannot look back.
Regradless of what others may think or feel. Or how much the ex keeps trying to harrass a person. I just gave my X/FH to the Feet Of the Lord. I can no longer help him. Only the Lord can! If he wants to help himself.
I am at this point if this is what the Lord wants this person to be in my life then I will let the Lord's will be done! IMHO

 

[alwayzalady22]

Of course

i'm a good girl, and when i'm treated wrong i end the relationship

all my exes have wanted me back at one point, i thought it was common

ooooooooooooook??? ITA!

men are dumb, but most of them aren't 100% stupid. they may not recognize a good woman when they have her, but they'll never forget about her once she's gone

shoot, i had one crawling back to me on monday. he left with his face cracked after i nonchalantly told him we should "just be friends"

 

[Vinyl]

Yeah... I gave him another chance, based on the fact that I knew that even though his actions said "*******," his intentions weren't all that horrible.

It really didn't end that well, honestly... But I don't wish I'd never taken him back. I know that if I hadn't, I'd always wonder "What if" and honestly, being with him again and realizing how he truly was is what helped me get over him 10x faster the second time we broke up.

 

[carameldiva]

Naevah,

I am going to share my drama. I was dating this guy for like two years. It was serious. We were sharing finances, etc. About 6-9 months into it, we stopped having relations. Not my idea, but everything else in the relationship was pretty good. He was a great listener and everything. All of the sudden, he started changing his number every two weeks, then every week, then almost daily. I knew something was wrong and just asked him to be straight with me. He kept saying baby, we are going to move in together, just give me until the beginning of the year, I will make everything up to you. Well a couple of weeks later, I went home for Christmas. His "cousin" (i thought she was his "real" cousin) called me and told me that she heard that I had gotten and apartment. Then she asked if he helped me move. Then she asked if we getting married and a whole bunch of other questions, especially considering we didn't talk that much and she was an aggressive butch, always hitting on me. Well, she finally said that she was trying to get a hold of my bf because he had some Christmas gifts of hers in the car. I told her that I would pass the message. A few minutes later, she called me back and told me that he needed to tell me something. I heard them arguing in the background and she kept saying if you don't tell her I will. At this point, he told me that she was not his cousin that he had met her shortly after me and they were good friends. When he needed a place to lay his head, she gave him one. Eventually, they had sex. Mind you initially, I was upset about the lack of that in my relationship, later I was grateful. I found out that they had threesomes and did lots of other perverse acts from my neighbors. Not in my home, of course. I also found out they he was seeing both of us at the same time, etc. Well one day shortly after the break-up, he came over to talk. I was still vulnerable and we had sex. The neighbor filled me in on everything that night and got me drunk. I called 'ole girl' up and gave her an earful. She was like call back in a few so he will be here. I said bet. I did, he, of course did not have time to get his life straight so- he was busted. Boy did I pay, they would get drunk and call me arguing about who was the better gf/lover etc. I had to call the police to get her to stop calling my home phone looking for him. I didn't change my cell number so they continued to call that for like six months. I only slept with him once after that and it sucked. I guess because there was so many bad memories, I just did not want him anymore.

He continued to call for another year. The Last time he called, he actually cried on the phone and begged for me to just meet him for a cup of coffee. I was like, crying is not a good look for you and I am so over this, do not call again , period. I have not heard from him since that day.

I had trust issues for awhile after that but I found out that other people find me very attractive and will treat me the way that I deserve to be treated. I have moved on. Nothing serious at present, but enjoying life.

Ex's are Ex's for a reason. When you look seriously at the reason why he is an ex, you will leave him in that category, trust.

HTH.

Have any of you ladies ever found yourself in such a situation? How did you decide whether to take him back or not?

Case in point... myself and and and ex broke up a few years ago mainly because of the distance, but we always hooked back up whenever I was home on holiday. To cut a long story short, we had a massive falling out because he had always said that when I move back home for good he'd like us to try again, then when it was close to the time for me to move back home I heard he'd been checking somebody else. Yes, it was selfish of me to be angry considering we weren't a couple.... but that's not really important at the mo'.
Anyhoo, we've recently gotten back on speaking terms after hardly being civil to each other for months... and he has told me how much he misses me and that he'd like for us to try again.

My thing is this: we've shared so much and I know I'll always have a soft spot for him.. probably the only man I've ever loved BUT he's an ex for a reason right? Should I even venture back onto that territory?

Right now I'm holding out... but is that the right decision? *sigh* why can't life be simple...

 

[TracyNicole]

I went through something similar when my then SO and I went to college in different states. We tried to work it out at graduation but found that we were different people. Even though we talked on the phone and visited for holidays, both of our lives had moved on. Although the physical chemistry remained he was a stranger. Unfortunately because we had been so close, we found it difficult to start from scratch and confused the way things used to be with the way things actually were. After several months we both agreed to call it quits. He now has a new baby and SO and I am currently planning my wedding. We are still friends albeit not as close as we used to be.

 

[Nevaeh1282]

ooooooooooooook??? ITA!

men are dumb, but most of them aren't 100% stupid. they may not recognize a good woman when they have her, but they'll never forget about her once she's gone

shoot, i had one crawling back to me on monday. he left with his face cracked after i nonchalantly told him we should "just be friends"

that is such a funny phrase... lol

Yeah... I gave him another chance, based on the fact that I knew that even though his actions said "*******," his intentions weren't all that horrible.

It really didn't end that well, honestly... But I don't wish I'd never taken him back. I know that if I hadn't, I'd always wonder "What if" and honestly, being with him again and realizing how he truly was is what helped me get over him 10x faster the second time we broke up.

Yeh that's been on my mind a bit... the 'what if'... I suppose things will work themselves out soon enough.

Naevah,

I am going to share my drama. I was dating this guy for like two years. It was serious. We were sharing finances, etc. About 6-9 months into it, we stopped having relations. Not my idea, but everything else in the relationship was pretty good. He was a great listener and everything. All of the sudden, he started changing his number every two weeks, then every week, then almost daily. I knew something was wrong and just asked him to be straight with me. He kept saying baby, we are going to move in together, just give me until the beginning of the year, I will make everything up to you. Well a couple of weeks later, I went home for Christmas. His "cousin" (i thought she was his "real" cousin) called me and told me that she heard that I had gotten and apartment. Then she asked if he helped me move. Then she asked if we getting married and a whole bunch of other questions, especially considering we didn't talk that much and she was an aggressive butch, always hitting on me. Well, she finally said that she was trying to get a hold of my bf because he had some Christmas gifts of hers in the car. I told her that I would pass the message. A few minutes later, she called me back and told me that he needed to tell me something. I heard them arguing in the background and she kept saying if you don't tell her I will. At this point, he told me that she was not his cousin that he had met her shortly after me and they were good friends. When he needed a place to lay his head, she gave him one. Eventually, they had sex. Mind you initially, I was upset about the lack of that in my relationship, later I was grateful. I found out that they had threesomes and did lots of other perverse acts from my neighbors. Not in my home, of course. I also found out they he was seeing both of us at the same time, etc. Well one day shortly after the break-up, he came over to talk. I was still vulnerable and we had sex. The neighbor filled me in on everything that night and got me drunk. I called 'ole girl' up and gave her an earful. She was like call back in a few so he will be here. I said bet. I did, he, of course did not have time to get his life straight so- he was busted. Boy did I pay, they would get drunk and call me arguing about who was the better gf/lover etc. I had to call the police to get her to stop calling my home phone looking for him. I didn't change my cell number so they continued to call that for like six months. I only slept with him once after that and it sucked. I guess because there was so many bad memories, I just did not want him anymore.

He continued to call for another year. The Last time he called, he actually cried on the phone and begged for me to just meet him for a cup of coffee. I was like, crying is not a good look for you and I am so over this, do not call again , period. I have not heard from him since that day.

I had trust issues for awhile after that but I found out that other people find me very attractive and will treat me the way that I deserve to be treated. I have moved on. Nothing serious at present, but enjoying life.

Ex's are Ex's for a reason. When you look seriously at the reason why he is an ex, you will leave him in that category, trust.

HTH.

Wow. That was messed up. But thanks for sharing.

 

[bermudabeauty]

I have always been a good women to my men, so maybe that is why when it is over the X always tries come back. You know what they say "you never miss a good thing, until its gone".

 

[misskris816]

men are dumb, but most of them aren't 100% stupid. they may not recognize a good woman when they have her, but they'll never forget about her once she's gone

I completely agree! When a good woman leaves, they always come back.

 

[Vinyl]

Wow, I never thought I'd be back in this thread... but my ex wanted to try things again this morning. I said no, based on the fact that I've met someone else who's shown me that things can be oh, so much better.

But my ex did raise some good points, and I'd be lying if I said I'm not still thinking, "maybe..." but meh. I mostly just feel guilty about how hurt he was.

 

[Energist]

I have been in that situation a few times, and I have never gone backwards. I don't know, after I have moved on I HAVE REALLY MOVED ON! The emotional break has been set and I just could never bring myself back to that place again... not even a new place!

 

[SvelteVelvet]

Of course

i'm a good girl, and when i'm treated wrong i end the relationship

all my exes have wanted me back at one point, i thought it was common

Ditto, it's always only a matter of time. I've never looked back with any of them though. I don't believe in it, I believe it's unhealthy.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

They ALL do...