Hair...The Black Woman's Curse?

[cmesweet]

Maybe it's just me, but I don't see all the hype about White Women's hair. I went to school with alot of them, so I sat behind alot of them. Their hair always looked tangled, or heat damaged. Nothing great about that

 

[gone_fishing]

We only have to do so much work because we are constantly fighting with the texture that God gave us to make it hang and swing and that's just not how our hair was made. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with trying to achieve the look you want...but I bet our hair is not any more high maintenance than theirs.

This white girl at my office has naturally curly hair and she flat irons it errrrr day after taking a shower. One day she came in with curly hair and I thought she had gotten a perm and it was pretty but she said nope...this was her natural hair but she preferred it straight.

She has a lot of split ends and unhealthy strands when she flat irons.

I know a lot of white women who spend a great deal of time trying to get their hair to look a certain way. They color, perm, highlight, flat iron, curl, roller set, their hair just like we do. It's just that sweat doesn't make their hair turn into a chia pet quite like mine.

 

[ladylibra]

i just think it's sad that anyone would refer to black hair as a "curse." these thoughts are why we continue to think in terms of good hair/bad hair.

like i said on another board... i can see other women with big boobs that i'm sure they take for granted and not feel cursed that i have small boobs. my boobs will always be naturally small in proportion to my body unless i do something un-natural to them so they look bigger.

 

[trini_rican]

We only have to do so much work because we are constantly fighting with the texture that God gave us to make it hang and swing and that's just not how our hair was made. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with trying to achieve the look you want...but I bet our hair is not any more high maintenance than theirs.

This white girl at my office has naturally curly hair and she flat irons it errrrr day after taking a shower. One day she came in with curly hair and I thought she had gotten a perm and it was pretty but she said nope...this was her natural hair but she preferred it straight.

She has a lot of split ends and unhealthy strands when she flat irons.

I know a lot of white women who spend a great deal of time trying to get their hair to look a certain way. They color, perm, highlight, flat iron, curl, roller set, their hair just like we do. It's just that sweat doesn't make their hair turn into a chia pet quite like mine.

 

[Inches411]

Everyone points are valid and make alot of sense. I would not trade my hair for somone elses anyday but sometimes i do wish it would just grow faster.. thats about it.

 

[trini_rican]

I don't think of it as a curse to reiterate what's pretty much already been said it's the way you approach what you've got - Your hair is Gorgeous!! BTW.

I would rather deal with my hair dilemmas as opposed to skin cancer from virtually burning my *** voluntarily for a tan erplexed- I love my complexion and so do they. They love our braids and booties too . I see more little white girls with braids in their hair now than ever before ( Bo Derek style). So they envy plenty of things about us as well. I think the lord knew what he was doing when he dealt us our hands.

Hair is the only thing they think they have over us but we all know different or their men wouldn't be breaking their necks every time a sister walks by em.

Black women can be stacked with Halle Berry short hair, (from latte to licorice complexion) and still pull a man of any race without trying. We got natural body!! Ha! Ha! Beat that blondie - I love it.

 

[Platinum]

I don't think of it as a curse to reiterate what's pretty much already been said it's the way you approach what you've got - Your hair is Gorgeous!! BTW.

I would rather deal with my hair dilemmas as opposed to skin cancer from virtually burning my *** voluntarily for a tan erplexed- I love my complexion and so do they. They love our braids and booties too . I see more little white girls with braids in their hair now than ever before ( Bo Derek style). So they envy plenty of things about us as well. I think the lord knew what he was doing when he dealt us our hands.

Hair is the only thing they think they have over us but we all know different or their men wouldn't be breaking their necks every time a sister walks by em.

Black women can be stacked with Halle Berry short hair, (from latte to licorice complexion) and still pull a man of any race without trying. We got natural body!! Ha! Ha! Beat that blondie - I love it.

I totally agree!When I was a little girl, I wanted long hair like the white girls.(length not texture). As I got older, I thought that if I straighten it, it would grow-foolish, I know. But, if I had not spent so many years damaging my hair on the quest for long hair, it would probably be MB or WL by now. Anyway, Trini_Rican, I agree with you. I work in a male-dominated field and it's good to know that I'm being envied by the white or latina for my beautiful brown skin, my full lips, and my budunkadunk. I even hear a lot white men talk about how they love black women or many even have a black woman. A few years ago, I was at a Driver Appreciation BBQ at my company. I fixed my plate, grabbed a soda, then sat down. I heard the comment from another table "I'm not worried about it. I'll just stay fat and happy". I turned around to see who said it. That's right! Barbie said it! (She wasn't anywhere near fat) I replied, "do like everyone else. Don't hate, just appreciate!" She got mad and took her plate inside the building. I found out later that she made the comment after some of the guys (mostly white) at her table said that I looked nice.

 

[DragonPearl]

Oh, I complain all the time about the difficulty in doing my natural hair. I don't straighten my hair at all but it's still difficult. The difficulty is not in trying to get my hair straight, the difficulty is in trying to get it to do things that it doesn't want to do. One of these things would be being straight, but there are others. Basically, my hair just wants to be a twa or locs. Maybe in braids all the time. Only then would I not be fighting my hair.

The only point I'm making is that it's only difficult because we try to make it something it doesn't want to be. So we can either accept the difficulty, or let it be what it wants to be.

I agree with the bolded. That's the only thing that would be easier and really natural for my hair. But I don't like those styles on me. So...

I don't see our hair as a curse. I think it is unique and I love its versatility that allows us to style it in so many ways.

But I will not deny the fact that it is harder for our hair to grow long on its own. It takes more work. Come on, so many of us HAVE to wear protective styles where they hide their ends, HAVE to keep ends moisturized, HAVE to sleep with a kerchief in order to retain growth. I don't have any white friends who do all that. I see White and Asian girls all the time with hair loose and brushing against their wool tops everyday, they don't sleep with bonnets, they don't keep their ends moisturized, and their hair retains growth. BSL is not a cause for celebration for them. but it is for us. Some of them blow dry their hair everyday, and they still have hair to play with. If I did that, I would be bald or struggling at ear length hair.

I still love my hair though. It's like this rebellious child with a personality of its own.

 

[bravenewgirl87]

Maybe it's just me, but I don't see all the hype about White Women's hair. I went to school with alot of them, so I sat behind alot of them. Their hair always looked tangled, or heat damaged. Nothing great about that

Not a damn thing. erplexed Funny how we can learn all this stuff about hair and STILL believe the okie doke. Makes me wonder if any of the techniques given on this board really work or are they just play-play time.

 

[mnemosyne]

i just think it's sad that anyone would refer to black hair as a "curse." these thoughts are why we continue to think in terms of good hair/bad hair.

like i said on another board... i can see other women with big boobs that i'm sure they take for granted and not feel cursed that i have small boobs. my boobs will always be naturally small in proportion to my body unless i do something un-natural to them so they look bigger.

You can't take for granted the things that gave you back aches as a teen and become floorbound faster than any perky person's would! Before the dawn of tanks with shelf bras in (which still barely work most of the time) I'd just wish I could go without a bra in the summer with camis and tanks.

I don't say our hair is a curse, I just wish it wasn't so difficult. Like... So many women wear their hair down with little to no consequence and I've almost become neurotic about making sure my hair's off anything.

Sometimes it is a case of wanting what you don't have. I'd love to have thicker hair or a looser natural curl pattern, but I handle what I'm given.

How many vitamins do some take just for hair growth? It's not just us. There was a thread here about different long hair updos and one of the moderators of that board had her whole regimen and it included MANY of the things people here do already (oils and vitamins). It's just that her hair was classic length instead of struggling to reach bsb like mine.

 

[DragonPearl]

You can't take for granted the things that gave you back aches as a teen and become floorbound faster than any perky person's would! Before the dawn of tanks with shelf bras in (which still barely work most of the time) I'd just wish I could go without a bra in the summer with camis and tanks.

I don't say our hair is a curse, I just wish it wasn't so difficult. Like... So many women wear their hair down with little to no consequence and I've almost become neurotic about making sure my hair's off anything.

Sometimes it is a case of wanting what you don't have. I'd love to have thicker hair or a looser natural curl pattern, but I handle what I'm given.

How many vitamins do some take just for hair growth? It's not just us. There was a thread here about different long hair updos and one of the moderators of that board had her whole regimen and it included MANY of the things people here do already (oils and vitamins). It's just that her hair was classic length instead of struggling to reach bsb like mine.

Yes at the bolded. On the white-dominated long hair care forums, the average hair length is usually past BSL. That alone should tell us something in terms of the difficulty for our hair to retain growth.

 

[trini_rican]

I totally agree!When I was a little girl, I wanted long hair like the white girls.(length not texture). As I got older, I thought that if I straighten it, it would grow-foolish, I know. But, if I had not spent so many years damaging my hair on the quest for long hair, it would probably be MB or WL by now. Anyway, Trini_Rican, I agree with you. I work in a male-dominated field and it's good to know that I'm being envied by the white or latina for my beautiful brown skin, my full lips, and my budunkadunk. I even hear a lot white men talk about how they love black women or many even have a black woman. A few years ago, I was at a Driver Appreciation BBQ at my company. I fixed my plate, grabbed a soda, then sat down. I heard the comment from another table "I'm not worried about it. I'll just stay fat and happy". I turned around to see who said it. That's right! Barbie said it! (She wasn't anywhere near fat) I replied, "do like everyone else. Don't hate, just appreciate!" She got mad and took her plate inside the building. I found out later that she made the comment after some of the guys (mostly white) at her table said that I looked nice.

You killed her Happens every day of the week - all across the country.

 

[RegaLady]

I don't think of it as a curse to reiterate what's pretty much already been said it's the way you approach what you've got - Your hair is Gorgeous!! BTW.

I would rather deal with my hair dilemmas as opposed to skin cancer from virtually burning my *** voluntarily for a tan erplexed- I love my complexion and so do they. They love our braids and booties too . I see more little white girls with braids in their hair now than ever before ( Bo Derek style). So they envy plenty of things about us as well. I think the lord knew what he was doing when he dealt us our hands.

Hair is the only thing they think they have over us but we all know different or their men wouldn't be breaking their necks every time a sister walks by em.

Black women can be stacked with Halle Berry short hair, (from latte to licorice complexion) and still pull a man of any race without trying. We got natural body!! Ha! Ha! Beat that blondie - I love it.

Amen to that! I think that if we just accepted that our hair is the way it is, we would have to problems. Society has put up limits that even white girls can't even attain, and they expect everyone to follow suit. And that leaves us burning and yanking our hair out. And it doesn't help that black men don't encourage us more often to like our hair. White women have struggles with their hair, they just don't say it.
I remember going to an interview a while back, and I wore a wavy wig, the hole time the interviewer (she was Italian)kept touching her hair. When the interview was over, she said, "I just want to say that your curls are so pretty, I have always wanted rich curls like that." I said, "Thank you, I worked hard for these." I didn't say it was a wig. Her hair look pretty burnt out. She had struggles like any woman who struggled with their physical identity.

 

[aurora3140]

Even as a relaxed head, I greatly appreciate the versatility of my hair. Relaxed hair still has enough body and texture to hold styles that would be more difficult for ww to achieve.

My housemates at school always compliment my hair styles and are amazed at how easily I can achieve them. I walk around at night in braids and the next morning, I'll have pretty waves. One night, I'll bantu knot my hair and the next day I'll have full, bouncy curls pulled back in a banana clip. This confounds them and I love it!

 

[lilamae]

lilamae you hush your mouth!! With your head of hair lord. Half us on this board is gawking at you to reach your lenght the same way you look at them. Your hair is GAWGEOUS!

Thank you so much girl. that was really sweet. I just have been a little frustrated and perhaps impatient too but i appreciate the support

 

[cmesweet]

I agree with the bolded. That's the only thing that would be easier and really natural for my hair. But I don't like those styles on me. So...

I don't see our hair as a curse. I think it is unique and I love its versatility that allows us to style it in so many ways.

But I will not deny the fact that it is harder for our hair to grow long on its own. It takes more work. Come on, so many of us HAVE to wear protective styles where they hide their ends, HAVE to keep ends moisturized, HAVE to sleep with a kerchief in order to retain growth. I don't have any white friends who do all that. I see White and Asian girls all the time with hair loose and brushing against their wool tops everyday, they don't sleep with bonnets, they don't keep their ends moisturized, and their hair retains growth. BSL is not a cause for celebration for them. but it is for us. Some of them blow dry their hair everyday, and they still have hair to play with. If I did that, I would be bald or struggling at ear length hair.

I still love my hair though. It's like this rebellious child with a personality of its own.

Maybe you need some more White friends. Unless you live with them, you really don't know what they are doing with their hair. There are alot of White women who wear bonnets to bed. Even on the predominanently White hair forum, they have "wear your hair up"= protective style challenges. Also, there are A LOT of AA women on THIS site and Nappturality that do not wear protective styles and have alot of hair.

It really isn't that hard, unless you are trying to achieve a look that your hair does not typically do. White women do the same thing, all of their hair is NOT straight.

Furthermore, when I go on the other forum that I visit regularly BSL hair length is a CELEBRATION for many members on there.

Unstead of ASSuming and generalizing about a whole population because one knows 5 people of that population, I suggest you (anyone reading this) check out the other forum and do some research. Don't believe the hype until you have studied and analyzed.

 

[HappyHairDreams]

I was sitting on a cheap sofa in the Ikea store with my legs crossed determining the comfort and quality of my prospective new purchase when I was struck by the length (waist) and curls on this white girls head. I was like "ooh, I can't wait".. then seconds later, another just-past midback passes by, then a hip bone length and then another waist length!

One by one they passed me by with nice heads of hair I was nearly certain they took for granted.

After about a minute or two more dreaming of waist length and trying to shake off the " it's -just-not-fair -that-i-have-to-work-so-hard-to-grow-my-hair attitude...I hopped off the sofa and headed to the garage and back to my office as lunch time was ending.

I walked into the break room where 3 sistas were discussing working out. And you know the cliche conflict we always have with regard to working out came up: hair care. The conversation went something like this..

" Girls, I don't know about no hot yoga! Hot yoga will have my hair lookin a hot mess" ( everyone laughs as I stand there with a straight face)

"I know chile, only way I'm doing all of that work is if I'm getting my hair done the next day!"

The conversation continues and I nonchalantly observe. Then one of the olders ladies struck a nerve with her final statement as she left to the room..."Hair...it's the black womans curse" she said as she casually walked away.

Fresh memories of the white girls effortlessly boucing their long hair combined with the black womens' break room conversation about their frustation with basic hair maintenance while working out had me feelin like "why do WE have to do so much more??!!"

I mean I know its has to do with texture and yadi-yadi-ya but sometimes it just gets frustrating and I know I can at least come here to let out my " hair frustration".

When I was in the 5th Grade my mom sent me to a nearly all white school and she told me that I was gonna have to work twice as hard.

I guess I'll just have to apply that concept to hair as well.

I understand your frustration. It does seem like we have to work twice as hard. But I think there are also non-Black women out there with hair issues as well; "My hair is too greasy, too limp, not straight, too frizzy etc, etc" - that's why they have a million hair products just like we do.

Yes, our hair issues are unique, but I think that the lack of information and research about Black hair care makes things harder for us than for them - it's not a matter of nature at all. Plus I think some of the issues we have, we also bring on ourselves; when I was younger my hair was a lot more resilient - it would grow and grow dispite the horrible treatment my mother and I put it through but now the 23 years of abuse is showing. That's my fault and that is the case with many Black women - and we'd be in the same boat after such abuse regardless of whether we were black, white or purple.
I think and hope that as we learn to care for our hair better and reverse the negative effects, things will get easier.

BTW, your hair is lovely.

 

[Dayjoy]

I think everyone's hair, black, white, or other will thrive as long as it is treated well and not fought against. If your hair is stick straight and you let it be, it will be fine. But if you perm it or hot curl it every day it will dry and break. On the other hand if your hair is curly or coily and you let it be, it will be fine. But if you relax it or flat iron it every day it will dry and break. (I'm not opposed to relaxers, I have one--I'm just being extreme here.) The problem is going against what you have. The other problem (for us) is that we live in a society that celebrates straighter hair while it tells us that curlier/coilier hair needs to be altered.

 

[Ms.Honey]

I do know how you feel though, I just went through my "Why our hair" phase recently..Our hair does grow at the same rate as everyone else's. My hair grows very slowly while my youngest daughters hair grows quickly. My oldest's hair grows at a normal rate but also way faster than mine. They will cut their hair in a minute. Kidserplexed Some White girls have slow growing hair too and they go through their own pity parties. It just appears that their hair is better because wavy and straight hair (looser textures) have more shine( in black girls too) than curly and kinky which tends to look dull. I think curly and kinky hair (in white girls too) is more fragile. I believe it has something to do with the inability of our hairs natural sebum to cover the entire length of our strands therefore leaving it unprotected and more delicate. When looser textured folks brush their hair the sebum is moved down the strand, that's much harder to do with curly and kinky textures. Now if someone can come up with a product to stimulate natural sebum and a technique to get it to the ends of our strands we'd be in business.
I also believe it has to do with our styling products. We don't have billions of dollars in research going toward our hair products as they do. It seems to me that the makers of black hair care products, major companies, make our products intentionally drying and damaging so we have to buy even more products to try to correct the problem and most of those products are damaging too. They know black folks are consumers and that black women are going to make sure or hair looks good no matter what it takes or costs. We've been bamboozled

 

[Hair Iam]

.
I think of our hair struggles are equivalent to "whites trying to get a tan, they would risk cancer from the sun, paying crazy fees for tanning beds, seeking the ultimate natural tan, going on vacations to lay under the hot sun...what I'm trying to say is ...we all have our challenges. I was feeling exactly how you are , then I started to ask the Lord , and to ask Him how to I take care of the quatre size dry patch in the back on my head that keeps breaking and feels like the desert sand? He has yet to answer, but He has impressed on me to apply TLC

 

[DragonPearl]

Maybe you need some more White friends. Unless you live with them, you really don't know what they are doing with their hair. There are alot of White women who wear bonnets to bed. Even on the predominanently White hair forum, they have "wear your hair up"= protective style challenges. Also, there are A LOT of AA women on THIS site and Nappturality that do not wear protective styles and have alot of hair.

It really isn't that hard, unless you are trying to achieve a look that your hair does not typically do. White women do the same thing, all of their hair is NOT straight.

Furthermore, when I go on the other forum that I visit regularly BSL hair length is a CELEBRATION for many members on there.

Unstead of ASSuming and generalizing about a whole population because one knows 5 people of that population, I suggest you (anyone reading this) check out the other forum and do some research. Don't believe the hype until you have studied and analyzed.

Uh huh. I have too many white friends. I've had tons of white roommates, I've had retreats with white women, been in spas and sleepover with my white girlfriends. I had a chance to observe their haircare firsthand.

Most white women do NOT frequent long hair care boards, and are still able to grow hair that is significantly longer than ours. The average length for white and asian hair is longer than the average length for black hair. That's an unarguable fact.

I was in Nappturality for many years, and not counting locs, MOST IF NOT ALL the women that grow long hair DO wear protective styles in the form of twists, cornrows, buns, plaits, what have you. I have yet to meet one that grew long hair by letting it loose into an afro everyday. Nope. Not seen it.

Recognizing that a certain type of hair retains hair easier is not an admission that they are superior or better. I do not feel inferior to white or asian women based on hair, so I don't have to take offense at the suggestion that their hair is easier to grow.

 

[Dayjoy]

Uh huh. I have too many white friends. I've had tons of white roommates, I've had retreats with white women, been in spas and sleepover with my white girlfriends. I had a chance to observe their haircare firsthand.

Most white women do NOT frequent long hair care boards, and are still able to grow hair that is significantly longer than ours. The average length for white and asian hair is longer than the average length for black hair. That's an unarguable fact.

I was in Nappturality for many years, and not counting locs, MOST IF NOT ALL the women that grow long hair DO wear protective styles in the form of twists, cornrows, buns, plaits, what have you. I have yet to meet one that grew long hair by letting it loose into an afro everyday. Nope. Not seen it.

Recognizing that a certain type of hair retains hair easier is not an admission that they are superior or better. I do not feel inferior to white or asian women based on hair, so I don't have to take offense at the suggestion that their hair is easier to grow.

TOTAL COSIGN!!

 

[mnemosyne]

Uh huh. I have too many white friends. I've had tons of white roommates, I've had retreats with white women, been in spas and sleepover with my white girlfriends. I had a chance to observe their haircare firsthand.

Most white women do NOT frequent long hair care boards, and are still able to grow hair that is significantly longer than ours. The average length for white and asian hair is longer than the average length for black hair. That's an unarguable fact.

I was in Nappturality for many years, and not counting locs, MOST IF NOT ALL the women that grow long hair DO wear protective styles in the form of twists, cornrows, buns, plaits, what have you. I have yet to meet one that grew long hair by letting it loose into an afro everyday. Nope. Not seen it.

Recognizing that a certain type of hair retains hair easier is not an admission that they are superior or better. I do not feel inferior to white or asian women based on hair, so I don't have to take offense at the suggestion that their hair is easier to grow.

 

[trini_rican]

Amen to that! I think that if we just accepted that our hair is the way it is, we would have to problems. Society has put up limits that even white girls can't even attain, and they expect everyone to follow suit. And that leaves us burning and yanking our hair out. And it doesn't help that black men don't encourage us more often to like our hair. White women have struggles with their hair, they just don't say it.
I remember going to an interview a while back, and I wore a wavy wig, the hole time the interviewer (she was Italian)kept touching her hair. When the interview was over, she said, "I just want to say that your curls are so pretty, I have always wanted rich curls like that." I said, "Thank you, I worked hard for these." I didn't say it was a wig. Her hair look pretty burnt out. She had struggles like any woman who struggled with their physical identity.

te

I think that's the main problem - Our men. If they could just get past hair they could love us. They're so caught up that it's given us women a complex. Is it long enough, straight enough. They (just like white men) adore our bodies and strength as women but let Becky's skinny *** pass by swinging her blonde hair and he's gonna look. It's ridiculous because half the time it's extentions, when it's a black man with his white girl he's breaking his neck to check our body though Whatever.

 

[tocktick]

generally speaking, it's easier for people of other races to retain length because their hair is proven to be stronger. our hair is apparently the weakest hair type. add to that the fact that many styling practices we've been employing ("we" in the sense of black women as a whole) were designed for white people. plus, chemicals, low quality products, heat etc all contribute to making sure many of us cannot grow long hair. there has been a lot of substandard information out there concerning black hair; it seems the quality information is harder to come by. lhcf and other sources are places where black women can find good information and the best ways to deal with their hair. however, not all black women have found the right information.

our hair is not a "curse". i do not compare my hair to that of other races and think about what theirs can do that mine cannot (btw, i have no problems with my hair when exercising, that problem is not universal to black women). it would just be a way for me to think my hair inferior, when it simply is not. i don't think my hair is more difficult that white people's; it's just different.

this site, and others, have examples of black women growing long healthy hair. with the right information and hair care practices, long hair is not unattainable to us.

 

[JustKiya]

Maybe you need some more White friends. Unless you live with them, you really don't know what they are doing with their hair. There are alot of White women who wear bonnets to bed. Even on the predominanently White hair forum, they have "wear your hair up"= protective style challenges. Also, there are A LOT of AA women on THIS site and Nappturality that do not wear protective styles and have alot of hair.

It really isn't that hard, unless you are trying to achieve a look that your hair does not typically do. White women do the same thing, all of their hair is NOT straight.

Furthermore, when I go on the other forum that I visit regularly BSL hair length is a CELEBRATION for many members on there.

Instead of ASSuming and generalizing about a whole population because one knows 5 people of that population, I suggest you (anyone reading this) check out the other forum and do some research. Don't believe the hype until you have studied and analyzed.

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for saying this - just the whole, danngone POST. Tis amazing how when assumptions go from one direction to the other, it's all good, but it's fighting words in the other direction.

*sigh* The fact that black women can even fix their mouth to say that their hair is a CURSE is..... is....... ohmygods, I don't even have words for the horror/shock/frustration/sadness/anger that makes me, as a black woman feel. No wonder we have so many 'issues' with our hair, when we are passing down this sort of foolishness to our children. Our hair is JUST as much of a curse as our skin is, and until we truly BELIEVE that - well. You'll keep seeing 4 y/o's with weaves.

*sucks teeth*

 

[AvaSpeaks]

Everyone points are valid and make alot of sense. I would not trade my hair for somone elses anyday but sometimes i do wish it would just grow faster.. thats about it.

Exactly! That's where I think people are missing the OP's point.

It just seems like their hair grows much quicker and longer than our hair. Regardless of how their long hair may look, whether it's bad, tangled, or matted; they could cut it off if it's damaged and then 6 months later, they are almost SL or longer!

That's not the case with most of us, and I think that's what still frustrates some of our sistas, in regards to hair care. At least from what I see on this board.

And the other argument about how some of us are fighting against what our hair should do is not exactly true either. Because if that was the case, then we should have these huge gigantic afros hanging on our heads or our hair being super long, if it's in braids. But most of us don't! I mean with the exception of dreads, I see plenty of sistas that have natural hair and their hair still is around the same length, regardless of shrinkage.

And no, we may not know what White or other Non-Black people are doing in their homes, but we know they ain't taking the vits and doing all the MTG and Indian hair products on their hair. I mean you got 4 year olds with their hair already down their backs.

Those Flintstone vitamins ain't doing all that! Their good but not that good

 

[DragonPearl]

Exactly! That's where I think people are missing the OP's point.

It just seems like their hair grows much quicker and longer than our hair. Regardless of how their long hair may look, whether it's bad, tangled, or matted; they could cut it off if it's damaged and then 6 months later, they are almost SL or longer!

That's not the case with most of us, and I think that's what still frustrates some of our sistas, in regards to hair care. At least from what I see on this board.

And the other argument about how some of us are fighting against what our hair should do is not exactly true either. Because if that was the case, then we should have these huge gigantic afros hanging on our heads or our hair being super long, if it's in braids. But most of us don't! I mean with the exception of dreads, I see plenty of sistas that have natural hair and their hair still is around the same length, regardless of shrinkage.

And no, we may not know what White or other Non-Black people are doing in their homes, but we know they ain't taking the vits and doing all the MTG and Indian hair products on their hair. I mean you got 4 year olds with their hair already down their backs.

Those Flintstone vitamins ain't doing all that! Their good but not that good

Hush!!!

Don't you know, to even admit that we have to do special things and go to greater length to retain hair than our white and asian counterparts means you're full of self-hate?

 

[lilamae]

Uh huh. I have too many white friends. I've had tons of white roommates, I've had retreats with white women, been in spas and sleepover with my white girlfriends. I had a chance to observe their haircare firsthand.

Most white women do NOT frequent long hair care boards, and are still able to grow hair that is significantly longer than ours. The average length for white and asian hair is longer than the average length for black hair. That's an unarguable fact.

I was in Nappturality for many years, and not counting locs, MOST IF NOT ALL the women that grow long hair DO wear protective styles in the form of twists, cornrows, buns, plaits, what have you. I have yet to meet one that grew long hair by letting it loose into an afro everyday. Nope. Not seen it.

Recognizing that a certain type of hair retains hair easier is not an admission that they are superior or better. I do not feel inferior to white or asian women based on hair, so I don't have to take offense at the suggestion that their hair is easier to grow.

co-signing as well

 

[lilamae]

Note to self: ( and I guess to others) no matter who disagrees with my frustration, my feelings are valid and I will not go back and forth with others who disagree and let this thread turn unnecessarily ugly

Everybody is entitled to express there opinion regardless if they agree with me or not...

PS: No I do not think our hair is a curse I was just repeating what the lady at my office said.