hair & relationships

[filthyfresh]

Here's the convo I just had with my SO.

Me: i need to wash my hair
SO: wash the hair
Me: i had this conditioner sitting in my hair for hours
SO: your day long wash
Me: lol
Me: pretty much
SO: im going to have to rethink about me growing out my hair cause you might put me on the same program
Me: lmao no
Me: you don't have to do too much to yours
Me: because you don't get a relaxer
Me: what you growing your hair out for? braids?
SO: i just want to let the stuff grow
Me: grow into what?
SO: probably get some dreads
Me: really?
SO: i dont know thinking about it but thats after i find a job [he just graduated]
Me: i truly cannot see you with dreads
Me: i don't think that'd look right on you

A little background on me. I don't date men with dreads. I just don't like men with long hair. I prefer guys like my dad; tapered cuts with waves, neatly trimmed goatees, and expensive cologne. My SO currently fits into this category. So him saying that he wants dreads is blowing me.

On the other hand, when I was transitioning I really wanted to do a BC. He told me, "If you cut your hair off, I'ma buy you a wig or something because I don't like you with short hair." So yeah. Am I wrong for being a little disappointed because he wants to get dreads? I like him the way he is right now. And why is it okay for him to change his appearance to something I don't like but if I change mine he has an issue with it? Am I being selfish? Are we both being selfish?

 

[Farida]

I do think we should try to accommodate each other in relationships this is barring disease or other imperative. People have certain preferences, some stronger than others. I like my men clean-shaven, but a beard or some scruff is not bad enough to make me completely turned off, so as much as I hate it I would let it go.

However, I despise when men have long hair. I really, really hate it. It is a huge turn off for me, sexually. I would still love him. So, it would be a bit much for DH to choose to grow out his hair if he knows that it will make it harder for me to be sexually attracted to him. I also know he does not like short hair, and granted, when he fell in love with me I had long hair. Now it is much shorter, but not like an inch short. I would not cut it that short unless it was completely necessary because I know it is a huge turn off for him.

People fall in love with what we present to them. Changes are part of life but drastic changes, we are human and some irritate more than others. You both need to gauge how important these issues are on a scale of 1-10 and learn to accommodate each other.

At the end of the day, if someone really loves you and what you are changing is really important to you, they will learn to be ok with it for your sake, to a reasonable extent.

 

[robot.]

before i got my hair cut a few weeks ago, a friend of mine (who, to be honest, was so sprung over me) pretty much pleaded with me not to cut it. yeah, right, i don't owe you anything.

but i know my boyfriend likes long hair and i'm more than willing to grow it out for him, after i have my fun with my short hair.

 

[bermudabeauty]

Its my experience that some guys prefer long hair on their women. However, it is your hair, your look, you got to rock your own style regardless of how your current boo feels. You got to do you. Just like he has to do his own thing and rock his own style. Both of you are entitled to your opinions about your mate's style preference, but you guys should stay with eachother based on your feelings for one another not because of something as shallow as a hair style. Good luck to you boo.