HAIR HATERS?!

[SouthernStunner]

Omg. Good thing I work with all white people lol.. Everyone at work compliments me on my hair- and I haven't even made my goal yet!

I live in Guam and the people here are called Chimoro (they look Spanish because the Spaniards once occupied this island). Anyway, I am at the 10 month mark of my stretch and I am wearing a bantu knot out that looks like a big curly fro. I am getting mad props over here and since I am the only AA in my building they always asking questions and if they can touch it and oh it is so soft.

Havent had a hater yet! But I want one, at least I would know I am doing something right.

 

[SuchMagnificent]

I gave her the wrong information because she has gotten me written up on numerous occasions and has had me in the office with my supervisor..So on that note, Yes, Im gonna give you the wrong information as long as you continue to act ugly. Im all for helping women out when but when you have done something that could have gotten me fired??? Hell no.. I have never done anything to this person and yet her vindictive ways have played a major part in the atmosphere where I work and you want me to help?? Please...next....

Why would you do that?

See this is the reason why many black women find it difficult to achieve long hair. Because when we do finally work up the nerve to ask someone with beautiful hair where they get it done or what they do to it, they lie or have a stank attitude about it.

All that does is contribute to the notion that you either have to have "good" hair in order for it to be long or that there is some kind of "hair growing" magic secret that only certain people can have. And, that women with long hair have an "attitude". That's why you have folks cutting off people's hair or trying to sabotage them in some other way.

I want every black woman who wants long hair to have it and even if they are rude to me, I'm not going to stoop to their level and LIE when they ask me a question.

 

[babyhurr4]

I experienced a lot of this in high school and my hair wasn't as long then as it is now. If anything, one of my younger sisters come close to being a hair hater, lol. She is always making comments on how my hair looks not that great to be long or how come it looks nappy(when I'm wearing braidouts and everyone else compliments me). If I am wearing a bun, she has to comment on that and when I'm wearing it down she has to comment negatively on that. Either way with her, I can't win when it comes to my hair. She always wants to know why after all of the hair products I use(cause i'm a mini pj)why come my hair doesn't look all that great, still. I'm mean, she never stops and this girl has 2A baby fine hair that it is easy to manage. Her grade is different from the rest of the family. We all are made up of mostly 3bs, 3cs, 4As-4cs. She is the only 2A....but she is always saying something negative about everyone elses hair.....and get mad when I tell her how she can thicken up her thinning tresses(she keeps a flat iron in that sucker! lol)

 

[SmartyPants]

It`s SO crazy to me how I can TRULY be taking

care of my hair now!
...
And somehow
accumulate so many hair-haters?!​

Has anyone else had a problem with this?? ​

THE CONVERSATION THAT INSPIRED THIS FORUM:

Erica

neck legnth u mean
2:11pm╚► Chamieka

Nah

Shoulder legnth

I know the difference

I take progress pictures all the time
2:11pmErica

do u know r shoulders are
2:12pm╚► Chamieka

Yes

RIGHT HERE IS WHERE THIS CONVERSATION WOULD HAVE ENDED! Life is too short!!!!

My hair hangs down to my shoulders

Would you like to see pictures hater?
2:12pmErica

why do i have to hate???
2:13pm╚► Chamieka

Because your steady downing me

Geesh you & Whitney are a lot alike

Believe me I wouldnt lie to myself
2:13pmErica

I see ur hair im trying to make u be realistic
2:14pm╚► Chamieka

Clearly you havent seen it

lol
2:14pmErica

if u hold ur head back yes i gues so it will be on ur shoulders

i see it everytime i see u

hell i comb it
2:14pm╚► Chamieka

I never hold my head back in pictures

I stand up straight eveytime
2:15pmErica

but its to ur waist if that makes u u happy

ok show me the picture
2:16pmErica

dont forget its sunmmer time I would hate for you to be depressed when the winter comes and it starts to shed u have gotten so hair crazy
2:17pm╚► Chamieka

Yeah- I am hair crazy

Because Im finally taking care of it

And seeing lots of progress lol

Im getting my hair braided from September-April so I wont see any shedding
2:18pmErica

everyones hair is in good condition because of the seasmember
2:19pmErica

season remember
2:21pm╚► Chamieka

Not neccsarily

True at all

Your hair can become very dry & brittle in the summer as well

Its called humidity

You have to find a good moisture/protein balance if your gonna wear it down

keep your ends from rubbing on your clothes

and deep condition often
2:23pmErica

oh well im lucky i only have to do special care in the winter never the summer
2:28pm╚► Chamieka

Yeah- you are

You must have grade A hair

But naw, lmao

Im getting braids after my relaxer stretch
2:30pm╚► Chamieka

Kinky twists more than likely

I feel like I retained the most growth from them
2:32pmErica

ok

erplexed

 

[jazzyto]

Well if they anything like my mother-in-law she will ask where you get your hair done and how much it cost just too be nosey. Then she will say oh I "can't afford that, or " I would have to put that hair do on layaway". I stopped talking to her about hair. She is also the kind to look all up in your head and not give you a compliment and then like a week later she will be like "that last style you had was cute." If you got haters you know you doing something right!

 

[CurlyMoo]

It`s SO crazy to me how I can TRULY be taking

care of my hair now!
...
And somehow
accumulate so many hair-haters?!​

Has anyone else had a problem with this?? ​

THE CONVERSATION THAT INSPIRED THIS FORUM:

Erica

neck legnth u mean
2:11pm╚► Chamieka

Nah

Shoulder legnth

I know the difference

I take progress pictures all the time
2:11pmErica

do u know r shoulders are
2:12pm╚► Chamieka

Yes

RIGHT HERE IS WHERE THIS CONVERSATION WOULD HAVE ENDED! Life is too short!!!!

erplexed

I know, I would have snapped at the condesending tone and ended the convo. Why is she being questioned and having to explain herself? It's not worth it. K.I.M.

 

[dachsies_rule!]

I experienced a lot of this in high school and my hair wasn't as long then as it is now. If anything, one of my younger sisters come close to being a hair hater, lol. She is always making comments on how my hair looks not that great to be long or how come it looks nappy(when I'm wearing braidouts and everyone else compliments me). If I am wearing a bun, she has to comment on that and when I'm wearing it down she has to comment negatively on that. Either way with her, I can't win when it comes to my hair. She always wants to know why after all of the hair products I use(cause i'm a mini pj)why come my hair doesn't look all that great, still. I'm mean, she never stops and this girl has 2A baby fine hair that it is easy to manage. Her grade is different from the rest of the family. We all are made up of mostly 3bs, 3cs, 4As-4cs. She is the only 2A....but she is always saying something negative about everyone elses hair.....and get mad when I tell her how she can thicken up her thinning tresses(she keeps a flat iron in that sucker! lol)

I would be scared to go to sleep around her...you might wake up bald-headed!

 

[in_di_vi_du_al]

bump
bump
bump

 

[tocktick]

Hmm...I'll go slightly against the grain here. In this instance, I don't think your friend was necessarily "hating" on you based on that convo. The conversation with your friend went down the way it did because you played a part in fuelling the negativity and keeping it going. You didn't need your friend to validate your opinion of where your length. Like another poster said, the conversation could have ended very early when it initially went awry.

If you have "haters" at SL, it will get worse when your hair gets longer so if I were you, I'd stop bring up my hair to those who are less than supportive and cut any conversations short from now on.

 

[in_di_vi_du_al]

Hmm...I'll go slightly against the grain here. In this instance, I don't think your friend was necessarily "hating" on you based on that convo. The conversation with your friend went down the way it did because you played a part in fuelling the negativity and keeping it going. You didn't need your friend to validate your opinion of where your length. Like another poster said, the conversation could have ended very early when it initially went awry.

If you have "haters" at SL, it will get worse when your hair gets longer so if I were you, I'd stop bring up my hair to those who are less than supportive and cut any conversations short from now on.

How did I fuel the negativity & keep it going? I honestly dont think I did. By saying what I knew to be true? yeah..no.

 

[Nice Lady]

How did I fuel the negativity & keep it going? I honestly dont think I did. By saying what I knew to be true? yeah..no.

You didn't fuel anything. I don't think that anyone makes anyone do anything--people choose to say or do what they want. The lesson to be learned is keep your goals as simple as Hair Dreams/Aspirations to yourself. Do things and then, if you choose answer questions about how you do it.

 

[beans4reezy]

The lesson to be learned is keep your goals as simple as Hair Dreams/Aspirations to yourself. Do things and then, if you choose answer questions about how you do it.

Very well put. This is a lesson I am teaching myself day by day

 

[babyhurr4]

I would be scared to go to sleep around her...you might wake up bald-headed!

Lol! She better not! She know I'm still big sis and I'll get off in that behind if she do! lol.

 

[ladylibra]

Okay. I will go out on a limb and say, your aunt didn't mean to hate on you. At least, not at first.

Outside of hairboards, people aren't very good at describing length. Most of the time, you hear the phrase, "She has hair down her back," and that could mean anything from APL to WL. Mostly when I hear someone IRL say, "Her hair is to her shoulders," they really mean near your shoulder blades. And if that's what your aunt thought you mean... then yes, she would've thought you were being delusional.

I could be way off base, but I see these kinds of miscommunications a lot.

Now the seasonal shedding thing - it does happen to a lot of people, and the winter weather can dry out our hair and cause breakage (not shedding) if we don't counter it. She was right about that... but, at this point in the convo, I do think she was just saying it to have something to say back. A little extra IMO.

 

[tocktick]

How did I fuel the negativity & keep it going? I honestly dont think I did. By saying what I knew to be true? yeah..no.

I said you played a part in fuelling the negativity. I didn't say that you started it or it all came from you. We do not have to argue with everyone who attempts to downplay our achievements. Many on this board have long ago learnt to KIM when someone tries to do so. It makes life that much easier and pisses off the "haters" even more because they don't get the rise out of you that they so desperately seek. Why give them the opportunity to try to put you in your "place" by engaging in their silly games?

Another poster pointed out that the conversation could have been ended when Erica said "do you know where your shoulders are?". She was wrong for that and the convo should have been shut down at that point but it kept going because you kept replying. It was clear to see at that very early stage that the convo was going to a bad place; calling her a hater and claiming she was "steady downing you" then accelerated how fast the convo went to hell.

You continued to contribute to the conversation, which kept it going longer than need be. She was not arguing with herself. As I said in my previous post, if you're having problems with "haters" at SL, it will be worse at APL and beyond, so like others you have to learn to just KIM and at folks who are not worth a reply.

 

[Country gal]

I wouldn't of wasted so much energy with that girl. She is such a know it all.

 

[camilla]

Oh yeah I know this problem all too well. And it's funny because a lot of it is within the fam... crazy. Now all of a sudden my hair was always "good" when I was a kid... yeah right, I remember my momma pulling and tuggin on my hair as a kid all the while she's complainin. And now she's claiming my texture was "Good" , whateva. Cause it's too hard to agree that black hair is tha bomb all you have to do is take care of it!

Im having flash backs my neice thought i was crazy now her hair is growing since she joined knowledge is power

 

[in_di_vi_du_al]

I said you played a part in fuelling the negativity. I didn't say that you started it or it all came from you. We do not have to argue with everyone who attempts to downplay our achievements. Many on this board have long ago learnt to KIM when someone tries to do so. It makes life that much easier and pisses off the "haters" even more because they don't get the rise out of you that they so desperately seek. Why give them the opportunity to try to put you in your "place" by engaging in their silly games?

Another poster pointed out that the conversation could have been ended when Erica said "do you know where your shoulders are?". She was wrong for that and the convo should have been shut down at that point but it kept going because you kept replying. It was clear to see at that very early stage that the convo was going to a bad place; calling her a hater and claiming she was "steady downing you" then accelerated how fast the convo went to hell.

You continued to contribute to the conversation, which kept it going longer than need be. She was not arguing with herself. As I said in my previous post, if you're having problems with "haters" at SL, it will be worse at APL and beyond, so like others you have to learn to just KIM and at folks who are not worth a reply.

I suppose I see where your coming from- sort of. We are a lot alike so we tend to argue on a lot of subjects very often lol I didnt intentionally keep the conversation going. I kinda wanted a reason as to why she always has to go negative on everything in general!

 

[mariofmagdal]

Yup, on the sneak though, it gets masked.

 

[glamazon386]

I couldn't read through all of that. OP how old are you?

 

[Almaz]

Never had hair hate back home. Never had hair hate in Israel of other places in the world where I have lived. Only time I ever had hair hate is living here in the states.

The hate is terrible and wrong on so many levels. Why do we do this to each other. If the world had standards and support like LHCF the world and the state of Black people would be so much better

 

[in_di_vi_du_al]

Never had hair hate back home. Never had hair hate in Israel of other places in the world where I have lived. Only time I ever had hair hate is living here in the states.

The hate is terrible and wrong on so many levels. Why do we do this to each other. If the world had standards and support like LHCF the world and the state of Black people would be so much better

That is very sad & very true!

 

[pringe]

Girl whateva! FLip ur dam hair with ur hand, shake ur head and F a B! Sorry y'all!

Who cares? let her hate! wouldn't be hatin if it wasn't FLYYYY!

Stand up straight, smile and keep flippin that hair