Hair hate all up in the salon!!

[blue_flower]

Interesting thread. Not only does the hate happen inside the salon, it also happens *outside* as well. But I don't like black hair salons. Maybe I just haven't found the right one yet.

 

[Nella]

This is sad and you are right this happens everyday in salons. I don't understand why but, it isn't right and they should treat their clients with much better service and respect for their hair.

 

[Maynard]

Just wanted to contribute....

I went to Aveda hair school about a week ago for a DC and trim(what was I thinking?). When I got in the chair, I asked her how much she typically cuts when she does a trim. She told me they (AVEDA) consider a trim and a cut the same thing and they are trained to cut an inch to and inch and a half off....

Needless to say I declined and will only be going for the great DC and scalp massage..

 

[jtsupanova]

I have suffered hair hate many times thats why I mostly do my own hair!
Just recently I went to get kinky twist extensions and the woman who was doing my hair was just tearing through it. I had to stop her several times take the comb and go through it my self. Mind you I'm natural but my hair was blown out practically straight. It was like she was trying to comb my hair off of my head. I have gotta learn how to do my own twist extentions!

 

[mahoganee]

I've always thought that less than an inch was a trim and would be sufficient for ends that weren't that damaged, just really old. But I have always had a stylist hack the mess out of my hair, even when it didn't need it. I thought I was getting smart to the game when I started trimming the ends before I would visit the stylist. It would take me a while cause I would actually go through and make sure I only snipped what I needed to. But these stylists would keep saying "You need your ends clipped" and proceed to cut off 2 months worth of growth. Something just isn't right about that.

This happened to me once when I had relaxed hair. I'd just trimmed my hair the day before so I knew that I didn't need my hair trimmed. The beautician told me that I needed my ends clipped and I told her that I'd just clipped them. She then asked me when I'd clipped them and I replied "yesterday". She had this look on her face like and knew that everyone sitting there knew what she was up to. I didn't go back again.

 

[Desert Skye]

I posted this story in the Salon forum but I will tell it here too.

When I was 14 I used to get my hair relaxed at this salon and she was just horrible. I would always be burned twice, once by chemical and the other with her hot a$$ blowdryer. Everytime I went there she would insist I needed a trim because my ends were dry and damaged etc.

Ok so one day she talked me into having a trim. She turned my chair to face the wall so I couldn see anything. Then she said she would have her assistant cut my hair. Me bein young and not wanting to upset her I agreed. So her assistant came and began cutting from behind with my stylist guiding her. NOW, when she turned my chair to face her, would you believe she had a broken arm and it was in a cast!?!?! She was cutting my hair with one arm. My hair turned out so uneven some was at shoulder length some below it. It looked like I got into a fight with a lawn mower. She tried to cover it up by curling it but it didnt work. I was upset to say the least.

Lucky for me my friend's mother who I found out later went to beauty school before she became a nurse, felt pity for me and offered to even it up.

 

[CurleeDST]

Now that was just wrong! I love my stylist. She doesn't amp things up to get you in her chair more often (she says - Dee you don't need a trim right now come back in 6 months and then let me take a look at it) and when she does trim I often have to ask her to take more off (her trims are pretty much dustings in my opinion). She is excellent and will tell you the truth and like I said - if you do not need a trim, you don't. I would sometimes question her like "you sure I don't have any dry or split ends" and she would be like - no you are good. You only probably need a trim once in 4 to 6 months.

I like Susan!

I posted this story in the Salon forum but I will tell it here too.

When I was 14 I used to get my hair relaxed at this salon and she was just horrible. I would always be burned twice, once by chemical and the other with her hot a$$ blowdryer. Everytime I went there she would insist I needed a trim because my ends were dry and damaged etc.

Ok so one day she talked me into having a trim. She turned my chair to face the wall so I couldn see anything. Then she said she would have her assistant cut my hair. Me bein young and not wanting to upset her I agreed. So her assistant came and began cutting from behind with my stylist guiding her. NOW, when she turned my chair to face her, would you believe she had a broken arm and it was in a cast!?!?! She was cutting my hair with one arm. My hair turned out so uneven some was at shoulder length some below it. It looked like I got into a fight with a lawn mower. She tried to cover it up by curling it but it didnt work. I was upset to say the least.

Lucky for me my friend's mother who I found out later went to beauty school before she became a nurse, felt pity for me and offered to even it up.

 

[God's Anointed]

I'm so happy that I have never been to a salon and that my only stylist has been either my sisters, or me. I learned to do my own perms when i went away to school so i wouldn't have to go to a stylist. These stories are just so sad and these stylist are just even more pathetic for their jealousy. That's sad that you would envy someone so much that you'd consider chopping off their hair to make yourself look better, or to keep them coming back for money.

 

[trulyurangel82]

This post is scarying me. I have to set up a hair appointment this week or next week to get a corrective . I have no choice because I dont think I can correct it myself.

My old hair stylist doesnt do hair anymore and she always asked if i wanted a trim. Actually had to tell her to trim it before because she never went ahead and did it which was nice. I rarely had my ends trimmed because they were never too bad but when she trimmed my ends she didnt trim that much off.

Months ago after she left to pursue another career I went to another place to get a retouch. This new lady cut my hair without asking! My back was turned away from the mirror and I heard a few quick snips. Then she was like,"You needed a trim."

It looked like I had a haircut! All that work I did. It was like I started over.

 

[trulyurangel82]

I just hung out w/ my girl in DC who owned a salon in Morrow, GA and I mentioned the phenomenon of women/stylists cutting customer's hair simply b/c they had long hair. She agreed and said YES that is very prevalent b/c she had a stylist like that in her salon who she had to FIRE!

She said they do it out of envy OR to make the client dependent on them for upkeep of their stylish cut to guarantee their money every other week! She said it indeed is a thing w/ some stylist who do make it a practice of trying to cut everyone's hair off b/c they do not want them to have long hair! I am sooooooooooooo astonished! Who knew!?

thats so f*ckin pathetic. I believe it.
I dont understand why they would do stuff like that. The dedication people do to have longer hair. If you take great care of your hair your hair can get long. To go to a salon and have your hair come out way shorter than when you came in is really unfair. Plus they are the ones paying the money! they should get any hairstyle they want. Ugh it makes me scared to go back to a salon.

 

[Chromia]

I can really relate to this thread! This is exactly why I dumped my stylist last week! 5 stars for this thread!

If you have long hair be careful of what stylist you use if you want a trim. Some of these undercover haters will chop the mess out of your hair, and some other clients will secretly be loving it! I've seen it with my own eyes!!! I've seen stylists purposely become rough with a woman's hair if it's long. Sometimes they'll make rude comments about how "nappy" it is.

This is why I will self-trim from now on!

Sometimes I even feel uncomfortable around my stylist. I did have my ends lightly trimmed and it felt like russian roulette because you just never know when they might be having a bad hair day and decide to take it out on clients. I envy those who self perm.

Exactly! That's exactly what it feels like to get a trim! I've been thinking about doing my own touch ups.

I have been a cosmetologist and worked in shops where I have seen black women twisted with jealousy at "the women with the long hair". I have seen stylists bullying the customer with insults, into having her ends trimmed so they can curl it, saying that her ends are raggedy and it will stop growing. Then everyone eles holds thier breath while the stylists cuts off a lot more than she should. Afterwards, the other patrons are sitting there with a quiet smirk on thier face. It is one of the ugliest and most pathetic displays of female insecurities imaginable.

I now feel that when stylist do this, more of them need to be taken to court. It is a violation of trust and a sneaky form of assault.

That is why I will get straight up ghetto on these kinds of fools. They are not trying to be nice to you so why should you be nice to them. When they make these kinds of comments they are too ignorant to realize that they have just revealed to another women that she is spiteful and insecure enough to be envious of other women.

Yes! My stylist bullied me into getting trims! She would get so upset when I said I didn't want a trim. Once when she was flat ironing my hair she told me "I can tell your ends need a trim". She just said that out of the blue for no reason. And I just had a trim 8 weeks before that!

You are so right that it's a violation of trust and it's a form of assault.

You're right that they're not being nice and there's no reason to be nice to them. I was so nice and patient with my stylist. I was loyal, I kept giving her chances. I was the reliable customer who came in every 2 weeks. Now she has lost me as a customer. That's hundreds of dollars a year that she will no longer get from me!

 

[Chromia]

Thank you so much for bringing this up. I didn't realize something similar could happen to me even with my hair not being very long. I used to think that when my stylist would over trim my hair it was for the better. But now I know the truth. Even the stylists with long hair will hate. I am so happy I know better now. This stylist was evil and I trusted her. I couldn't understand why she would let the relaxer sit and burn my scalp while she would take her time to come over and wash it out. This can happen to anyone. Like I said my hair was only about grazing shoulder, but it looked a lot healthier than most of the clients (though I would blame them for their lack of hair, they wanted some outrageous styles that just screamed breakage). I was a bit younger back then and she was my mother's stylist, also she was the most affordable. Now I have sworn off stylists for a long while. I feel sorry for other ladies who don't know otherwise, who trust their stylists when they tell them "You need about 2 inches cut off, it'll help your hair grow" I see this type of bullying happen mostly to younger girls because, like me, they don't know any better. I just don't see how hacking off 3 inches is considered a trim. But they will pull that one on you...

I think the reason my stylist bullied me is because I'm unassertive and when I'm in the salon I'm quiet. A lot of people tell me I'm nice. That did not help me in the salon.

I went to a salon at a dept store once and I was going to see a play later that night so I was pressed for time. The receptionist (a blk girl) set me up with this young black stylist. She kept saying how my ends needed to be trimmed or it wouldn't hold a curl. Well she trimmed and trimmed and... when she was done Then on top of that she wanted to charge me $25 extra.

By the time I got outside the store the curls had already dropped and she had the nerve to leave one long section of hair hanging there (like it was a reminder). The hair she cut did not even touch my shoulder and the piece of hair she left was hanging down to my breast I had to cut that off when I got home.

When I went back to complain the guy told me that she was no longer worked there and then he said I don't even know why they put you with her because everybody knows she don't like to see people with hair longer than hers.

That is terrible that they put you with her when at least 1 person knew she would have a problem with your length.

 

[Chromia]

Some stylists don't know the meaning of customer service. Some of them need something done to their hair they don't want done so they can know how it feels.

That's right, some of them don't. I've had better customer service at restaurants, grocery stores, and stores in the mall, from people who don't even know my name and will probably never see me again.

Some stylists don't care that they're messing with our self-confidence and self-esteem.

Instead of ppl hating why can't they just say I like your hair what is your hair regimen ??

Exactly! That's all they have to do! Just ask!

 

[CHECKMATE!]

Wow...sorry to say this...but that is why i stick with the Dominican stylists ...they dont hate, or bad mouth...they just do good hair! Ive seen long and short,relaxed and natural come in the shop, and they treat everyone the same...

​

 

[SvelteVelvet]

Wow All this has me seriously contemplating never going back to my stylist and doing my own touch-up and everything here on out. I would have lost my lady-like and went to blows in some of you ladies situations.

My stylist really helped me get my hair to a good healthy state the past few months I went. I got a trim the first time because I knew I needed it and she got it blunt and even for the most part which I loved. She asked if I wanted a trim a few weeks later and I obliged and she was cool. Then at another appointment she just whipped out the scissors and started trimming a little in the front and around the sides tells me while she's doing it something like 'I just like to keep it neat, I know your thinking if she don't stop with them scissors'. It wasn't enough to piss me off, it truly was a light trim/dusting but I thought "What happened to consulting me first?" I think some stylists, I guess when they have you as a customer for a while they get comfortable and just start doing what they want. That's my only little gripe I had with her, as far as hair health goes I truly believe she cared about that, and I really still feel I lucked out finding her.

I got micros to stretch my relaxer out a few months, because at 4 weeks she was telling me I should need a touch-up at my next visit. I told her I'd probably go 8 to 10 weeks and just get a curly rollerset done, she agreed that it'd be healthier to go a little longer, but at the 6 weeks I impulsively decided to get micros because I was reading here that after people stopped letting stylists trim their hair every 8 weeks their hair took off, and also stretching relaxers was better, which I also know from experience. I figured no way is she going to let me go longer than 8 weeks without a touch-up, nor will she let me go 6 months without a trim, so braids it is.

I was looking forward to going back to her and getting my lye relaxer done but this whole thread has put serious doubts in my head. I feel like it wouldn't be fair to judge her based on others though. IF I decide to go back, I will stress to her what my hair goals are and the purpose of my micros was to get some non-manipulated growth and see how that goes.

There was this Caribbean girl in their once with beautiful thick black mid-back hair, there wasn't any noticeable haterism going on, but I wondered if she achieved her length from going there regularly, always having the length, or doing her own C&G overtime.

I did experience patron hateration at this other salon YEARS ago..I won't even get into it, but it was so noticeable the stylist doing her hair pushed her head down as she was making another snide remark towards me as I was leaving. Said something like, "Your customers are cheap" After giving her a hundred and what I asked for change back, she didn't know I already had set aside her 8 dollar tip and was trying to make it easier for her to give me change. For that it didn't sting me because me and the stylist knew what was up, but a part of me wanted to wait outside and woop her butt when she got out but, I was a lady, didn't say a thing, and never returned to that salon for fear of running into that wench on a bad day and allowing her to let me come out of my character.

 

[CaribbeanQueen]

The other day I went with my cousin to the hair salon. She was getting her hair done for her wedding and I came with her. There was a girlw with brastrap length hair who came in and asked for a relaxer. She was giving the stylist specific instructions. eg. She didnt want her sideburns relaxed, she wanted to use a mild relaxer, wanted a rollerset instead of heat, no trim etc.... The stylist was so pissed.

She came to the back of the salon like 'If she she knows how to do hair better than me, why doesnt she do it her ****** self?!'

I was thinking to myself 'thats why her hair is brastrap length, cuz she doesnt let people do whatever the hell they want to her'

 

[CaribbeanQueen]

I could write a novel about the bad experiences I have had with stylists...
eg. having a relaxer dropped in my eye, burned scalp, 4-6 inches chopped off etc. etc.. etc..

All I know is, reading Ultra Black Hair, finding this site and following LondonDiva's self-relaxing tips are the best things I have ever done.

Now, the only time I will step foot in a salon is if I want a simple wash and flat iron (which is the very rare occasion)

If my hair falls out (God forbid) it will be because of my own mistakes not someone elses envy..

 

[zzirvingj]

Girl, hair haters are everywhere! There should be a post titled: Hair Hate all up at work!! Those women ( i call them vultures) at work just sit in the lunch area and talk about everybody walkin by. They had a bet going whether my hair was mine are not and them heffas was all pissy about the fact that it was! Trust no one.

Girl, do we work at the same place??! LOL

 

[Chromia]

I figured no way is she going to let me go longer than 8 weeks without a touch-up, nor will she let me go 6 months without a trim, so braids it is.

This is why I dumped my stylist. She wouldn't let me do what I wanted. I felt like a child sitting in her chair.

 

[MizAvalon]

I could write a novel about the bad experiences I have had with stylists...
eg. having a relaxer dropped in my eye, burned scalp, 4-6 inches chopped off etc. etc.. etc..

All I know is, reading Ultra Black Hair, finding this site and following LondonDiva's self-relaxing tips are the best things I have ever done.

Now, the only time I will step foot in a salon is if I want a simple wash and flat iron (which is the very rare occasion)

If my hair falls out (God forbid) it will be because of my own mistakes not someone elses envy..

Relaxer dropped in your EYE?

OP, thanks for starting this thread. You have helped many.

 

[SvelteVelvet]

This is why I dumped my stylist. She wouldn't let me do what I wanted. I felt like a child sitting in her chair.

I really think it's psychological with them, they take their positions WAY to personally. As if after doing your hair for a while and seeing it through some hard times that's it's THEIR head of hair and they have more of a say in what get's done to it than you. Like they are paying you to do your hair and not the other way around. They need to come to grips with the reality that regardless of their professional status, experience, licenses, etc. that they are providing a service, and in the land of customer service, a customer gets the service they want, no more, no less because we are choosing to pay them and give them our patronage when we really don't have to, especially if they want to continue to dictate what we are paying for because guess what? We won't be coming back.

 

[spiceykitten]

This is why I do my own hair. This is ONE of the reasons I gave up relaxers.

Someone always wanted to cut my hair. I even had a man shave the back of my head once!!

The only person who did my hair well was a European man but I never went back because he was trying to molest me. I mean really molest me. Dirty bastard!! It is a shame because European men can do some hair. Yet, they are molesters! My sister went to a different European man and he tried to molest her too. She kept going back but after the 4th time she could not take it anymore and stopped going to him but she said her hair was in the best shape with him as her stylist.

I do my own hair and at times I was a hot mess but now that I have learned to flat iron, I am so happy!

Why can't people be kind? I am terrified of hair dressers. I have only gone once since I have been natural and guess what..she wanted to cut my ends? She was ghetto even though she was downtown near corporate offices. The music was blaring and she waving the flat iron around my face and the girl she was speaking with was up in my face and kept saying to me "your hair is so long". WTF I did not pay for someone to be up in my face and I was not prepared to praying for some woman not to burn me with a flat iron.

The only credit I will give that woman was she used the products I brought with me, she finished my hair in 45 minutes and she asked me if she could put something in my hair and most importantly if she could cut. Yet, she was not happy that I said no.

I said no but she kept saying my ends were frizzy and I said so what.

Hair dressers are monsters and there are only a good few.

 

[Dogmd]

I had a woman actually come up to me while I am sitting in the chair with half of my hair over the top of my head cuz my stylist was pressing the back.

She actually whispered in a sickly sweet voice " I HATE YOU". Then laughed and sat back down on a couch across from me to watch my stylist finish my hair. I had no idea who she was until after she left ( she was stopping by the salon to arrange for my stylist to go to her house later on and do her weave." It turned out to be Cherell. (sp?) I sat there kinda like "WTH"?
I didn't know where she was coming from, but definately didn't want to be around all that hate!!

This was my first year in college and my hair had no relaxer ( it was a few inches past my bra strap and it was very thick) .

 

[spiceykitten]

Dogmd:

Girl, that is some SH_T! I typically do curse but that would have freaked me out! I thought my experience was bad!

Now, I see you are eating a raw diet? I want to try this but afraid my hair will fall out.

I suffer with a low immune system and must take vitamins to keep up my immune system. The doctor recommended I take a multi, vitamin c, b-vitamin. I was very sick as child. I had a lot of asthma attacks and it weakened me. I am also a premie baby that also had a twin so that did not help.

I have been eating a vegetarian diet and fruits but I feel a bit tired. I am also having crazy detoxing effects.

How are you surviving on raw? Can you pm me?

 

[MizAvalon]

I had a woman actually come up to me while I am sitting in the chair with half of my hair over the top of my head cuz my stylist was pressing the back.

She actually whispered in a sickly sweet voice " I HATE YOU". Then laughed and sat back down on a couch across from me to watch my stylist finish my hair. I had no idea who she was until after she left ( she was stopping by the salon to arrange for my stylist to go to her house later on and do her weave." It turned out to be Cherell. (sp?) I sat there kinda like "WTH"?
I didn't know where she was coming from, but definately didn't want to be around all that hate!!

This was my first year in college and my hair had no relaxer ( it was a few inches past my bra strap and it was very thick) .

Cherelle, the singer? Though she probably meant no harm, Miss Cherelle just lost a couple of points with me for that one.

 

[PhonyBaloney500]

I had a woman actually come up to me while I am sitting in the chair with half of my hair over the top of my head cuz my stylist was pressing the back.

She actually whispered in a sickly sweet voice " I HATE YOU". Then laughed and sat back down on a couch across from me to watch my stylist finish my hair. I had no idea who she was until after she left ( she was stopping by the salon to arrange for my stylist to go to her house later on and do her weave." It turned out to be Cherell. (sp?) I sat there kinda like "WTH"?
I didn't know where she was coming from, but definately didn't want to be around all that hate!!

This was my first year in college and my hair had no relaxer ( it was a few inches past my bra strap and it was very thick) .

Who?

Anyway that's creepy as hell!

 

[CurleeDST]

Saturday Day love with Alexander O'Neal Cherrelle? I didn't mean to turn you on Cherrell? Isn't Pebbles her cousin and can do hair?

Cherelle, the singer? Though she probably meant no harm, Miss Cherelle just lost a couple of points with me for that one.

 

[PinkSkates]

So sad but very very true. And that is the very reason why I do NOT step into a hair salon!

 

[BrownSkin2]

I had a woman actually come up to me while I am sitting in the chair with half of my hair over the top of my head cuz my stylist was pressing the back.

She actually whispered in a sickly sweet voice " I HATE YOU". Then laughed and sat back down on a couch across from me to watch my stylist finish my hair. I had no idea who she was until after she left ( she was stopping by the salon to arrange for my stylist to go to her house later on and do her weave." It turned out to be Cherell. (sp?) I sat there kinda like "WTH"?
I didn't know where she was coming from, but definately didn't want to be around all that hate!!

This was my first year in college and my hair had no relaxer ( it was a few inches past my bra strap and it was very thick) .

This isn't funny, but imagining it was very funny...

 

[zanna]

All I have to say to all this is wow!!!!!! so sad. I'm glad I never went to a hair salon.
Zanna